Im wondering why does boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has to involve sleeping together? In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married. I believe people should indeed date for quite a long time first in order to get to know each other before committing to get married but why does it have to involve sex?
Because I think sexual compability is a very important part of a relationship and it's better to find that out before marriage
In my opinion, if that is the situation then basically they are already married. It is misconception to say that marriage is about signing paper. As I said before, one of the purposes of marriage is to let it known to the world that A and B have made an oath to be together and responsible for one another.
Agreed! That's my point precisely. Most cultural mores come from socio-biological needs. To confuse cultural prohibitions with Islamic ones is ignorant and haram. More often than not the Quran in fact warns against prohibiting that which God has allowed. It seems that God is well aware of the human penchant for prohibitions.
Another personal example is the case of my sister who met a man she liked and to satisfy my parents' demands and her understanding of Islam she said they could not sleep together unless they were married. So now after 7 years of marriage her husband leaves and says he was never happy after the first year but stayed with her all this time because he and she both valued the sanctity of marriage. Had they simply been together as boyfriend-girlfriend for a year or so they (he) would've realized that they weren't all that compatible after all. Now there's a s*** load of legal crap to sort through.
God is great,
Raz
I agree partially with Lilyfluer
The amount of moralizing that we muslims seem to do with respect to pre-marital sex amazes me.
You have to understand the reason for its prohibition in the Quran in the first place. These had to do with
All of these things can be mitigated through correct application of laws within society and by responsible behaviour as adults.
I think the key admonish in the Quran is against engaging in relationships with women in secret. I don't think there is anything wrong with a boyfriend and girlfriend type of relationships even if there is sexual intercourse. As long as it's open and acknowledged by ones family and friends and the consequences of pregnancy are borne by the responsible individuals, I'm not sure it's haram. "Those to whom you rightfully belong" can be interpreted as those to whom you've committed and they to you.
I come from a family where my parents had an arranged marriage and after 45 years it's painfully obvious that had they even gotten to know eachother for a year or so before hand they probably would've never gotten married. And even now they should be divorced but our culture doesn't permit it.
Prohibitions against pre-marital intercourse are primarily cultural, historic, and socio-biologically based. They have nothing to do with God or spirituality.
My .02
Raz