I completely understand what you are saying. For me though I feel that it is about being the best I can. I am only human and was made with all the benefits and pitfalls of that. I was given the ability to know and choose right from wrong. Sometimes I do wrong without realising it though, it is my intentions that are the key. The striving for perfection is important, I do feel that it is our duty to do that, but I think ultimately Allah knows the person and whether they be Muslim, Christian, Jew or any other, it is his or her heart which will tell him who and what we really are.

I wouldn't even know what perfection is, I just want to follow what Allah asks of me and know that when I get it wrong he is there to guide me on the right path. ;D

I know this sounds selfish, but it is good know that there are others who are traveling a similar path. One of the major concerns I have is about how do I deal with the elements I find more difficult to follow. I think you are further on the path than I, but I just wanted to show you some support. The path to a better way of life is always going to be challenging and one littered with questions, misconceptions and confusion. I feel that it is always important to remember that you have faith, that alone will be your guiding light, now and forever. Allah knows you have faith in him and as long as that is the case then you will search for what is right. perfection is not the goal is it. If we were perefect we would be Allah. Anyhow, I just wanted to give you my support and let you know there are many people traveling a similar path.

Take care.

As-salaamu alaykum

Well, just an update on my story, nothing spectacular but important things for me. I have been doing lots of watching, reading and asking and I think things are getting a little clearer for me. I have arranged to meet a local imam, from my old university faith centre. He has alreay sent me lots of information, all very good things, perhaps a little more "traditional" (culturally) than where I am looking to go, but all very good information. yay

I had this sudden urge to "be Muslim" without really knowing what it was I wanted to be. I wanted to rush in and make a statement, probably to myself. I have realised that I need to slow down, take my time and do this properly. I still have some major concerns regarding my family, not enough to stop me following this path, but enough to concern me. None the less, I have started doing little things, the first time I prayed I felt quite liberated and completely humbled. I'm not praying as regularly as I would like, but I feel that having made the first step is important.

Anyway, as time goes by and I understand myself, my hopes and my God a little better I feel less lost and more comfortable with how my journey is going. I don't feel the need to rush in to things to prove myself. My partner is becoming more aware of the changes I am making and has been accepting, though I still fear broaching the issue head on, though again, I feel this will be something that will come naturally as I gain knowledge, understanding and confidence.

I'm happier about this and just want to thank all those who helped me on here, your words were taken on board and did genuinely help.

Paul.

Good evening all,

First of all I would like to say thank you to you all for replying and providing me with positive words.

I think you guessed that I have some misconceptions of what Islam is, this is where I feel I need some support and guidance. MY understanding of Islam (the case of the I is unimportant to me) is about submitting to Allah and praising him for what I have been given in life and accepting that whatever happens Allah knows what is best for me. I see it as a way of life which promotes and encourages a good, honest and successful life. It doesn't ask for perfection, only the desire to be the best I can with the guidelines laid out before me.

I do have serious issues with my family, to the degree where it could cause long lasting damaged to my family relationships - As an example I have close family members who are so strong in their views that they would advocate violence against people who they think are from certain ethnic groupings - and as I write this I ask myself why am I worried about losing their approval or friendship? Their behaviour and attitudes are abhorrent to me! There you go. I do feel that there will be some change in behaviour required, but this is no longer an issue for me. Strange, having read your posts and considering the issues you raised things don't seem quite so complicated. I wasn't expecting this when I began writing this post. I did think there was more of an issue with my partner than it appears there needs to be.

I think I need to go away and think a little because, while I am still confused, I think my confusion may be based on other factors.

Genuinely, from my heart, I want to thank you all for your words. They have helped, this is the first step. I hope that I can continue to draw on the support of this forum and hopefully be in a position where I help a fellow traveller one day.

THANKS TO YOU ALL.

Good evening everyone,

I have a little tale to tell which may sound confused, that is because I am. I am looking for some guidance and some words of support.

I guess I should give a little history that lets you know why I am here and considering reverting to Islam.

I was born in Northern England, Protestant by ritual not by practice. I grew up with a family of very strong Women who all had faith, as spiritualists. The idea of God and Jesus was a constant and I cherished a childrens Bible I was bought as a child. THe strange thing is that through my, sometimes, very tough life I have always had a strong belief in God, not so for Jesus as his son. When times got very tough it was God I prayed to and never really included Jesus as the person I asked for help. God was the one who was there for me. Not confusing so far.

Fast forward and a relationship with a Catholic woman, three offspring - all with troubles, a divorce and a new relationship with a woman I love. Through work I meet a muslim woman (hold on, this isn't what you might think). I work closely with this woman and we chat about our philosophies on life and religion. I re-realise that I have always had faith in God - but God alone and I find that Islam kind of fits with many of my values, there are some which I'm not sure about and these I am prepared to work on because at the root I have faith that there is only one God and he has no partners. Still not confusing!?!

Now, my family, here goes - my parents practie no religion but can be quite scathing about minorities. I have several family members who are, well to be blunt, racist and Islamophobes. They are affiliated with groups which make me feel ashamed to be white and English. My three children I think would be ok. My partner, common law, is my biggest confusion. She claims to be spiritual as opposed to religious, but I see little evidence of this, but I love her. We are, though, more like friends than lovers. Making this step could involve a massive change in my life, on every level. How do I deal with family? How do I begin to explain what I am considering? How do I really beging to consider what to do next when I really don't understand who to turn to to discover the basics of beginning to practice not only the faith Islam but the life Islam provides.

I see a better life but don't want to hurt those around me. I worry that when I begin to practice I will alienate myself and find the change too much to keep up and am left with nothing. Yet I have this faith in God which I need to make conceret. I read peoples stories and wish I was at that point where it had all happened I was in a life I want. Where do I begin? Who do I speak to? What do I need to learn first? How do I stop what appears to be my double life developing and destroying me? Confued enough? I'm looking for answers I don't think people have. This is my story, this is my, unfinished, journey. Any wise words would be more than welcome right now.

Just me.