Looking over a few responses to my question. I see there is a need to clarify what I meant and to that which I referred. Specifically, I am referring to the elitism, racism,class ism and misogyny that permeates Islam. This stratification is in complete contradiction to the Message. Yet, these practices seem to be institutional, even in the United States where I have had my Islamic interactions and experiences. One responder asked,'am I trying to get everything I wish for in this life?' According to the Message equality is a central theme. So to that responder I say no, I am not after everything I desire in this life, but rather, that which I am promised. I have expected to see a loving, caring and fostering Deen accepting of all who embraced the faith, instead I have found rank prejudice, marginalization and nonacceptance. I grew up in the southern United States and know the segregation experience firsthand and therefore feel adequately qualified to recognize those types of barriers when I see them. I have witnessed the, 'we are really the true Muslims' attitude almost on a daily basis as if belief was based on seniority or geography. Are you aware of how many Muslims are stuck in places like the Salvation Army and how many more ask Christians for help on a daily basis because no help is forthcoming from the Muslim community. Muslims don't seem to really care about the lives of other Muslims, which seems especially true of the attitude of immigrant Muslims (better educated and wealthier)

Edip Yukel was recently becoming one of my favorite spokesperson on the subject of Islam. He is a courageous thinker whos reflections are very thought provoking. I was recently struck by his dissertation on, 'Rational Monotheism.' Our brother Edip seems to have taken on the cause of reconciling Islam and science and thereby liberating the Muslim mind from the 'dark ages.' As I digested his thoughts and observations an obvious imbalance kept teeter-tottering his level headed approach in my mind. I'm talking about the value of non-linear thought which does not necessarily follow any discernible pattern. The order in which things happen do not necessarily add up to truth, this is an error in logic demonstrable in case of the savage who beats his drum at dawn to make the sun rise. One thing occuring before another is no proof of cause. Edip describes his rational conversion and conformation of his belief in God. a process that he sees as a necessity for all believers. Many, dare I say most people do not share brother Yukel's intellectual gifts. Is it really that difficult to be a believer? Thought can have a linear or non-linear make up as is it seems the case with the Quran the literal and the figurative. The end or the conclusion is the important thing right? Not how we got there. The Quran is designed so that the intellectual and non-interllectual reach the same belief. Edip's outlook seems like more elittism to me. No intellectual argument or amazing sermon has made me Muslim or keeps me on the straight path. God alone makes believers. Am I less than you because I don't possess an identical understanding? My favorite Speaker on Islam is God.

In 1976 I entered into the realm of Islam. There were two witnesses as I declared myself Muslim. These two believers were Sudanese men dressed in what I can only describe as Bedouin attire. They wore veils and all I could see was the whites of there eyes. I could not tell you if they were Sunnis or Shias. What I do remember and still cherish about this first step is that these men declared that their names were unimportant and to give them no more thought than if they were the fog, the wind or the misting rain because God was the True Witness and the only One that mattered. I was twenty then and hungry to solve the mystery of God who I believed was guiding me to the straight path. At 55 I still believe that God is still guiding me though sometimes I have strayed and way become circular at times. As I have said I entered the realm of Islam but never really gained access to the 'brotherhood'. Persona's have always adulterated that part of Islam for me. Someone was always intimating that my beatific vision was only correct when it agreed with theirs. I needed to bathe this way, behave that way and even pray in a way already prescribed. Imams declared the only way to know Islam is from the teachers and enlightened scholars. It was in this way that Islam was ruined for me at different intervals as I found myself cut off from God by this type of imitating and deferring. I had traded a Living, Mysterious and Miraculous God for mere routine and reliance on others rather than myself and the Almighty. In my pre as well as post brotherhood days I found the the only prerequisite for contact is sincerity, not intellect, costume, birth right or automaton behavior. I endeavor not to understand God but to understand myself. In fact, I freely admit to having no understanding of the Absolute but through seeking to know God's will I have learned something of who I am.