How Do You Deal With Family Pressure?
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Dear All,
I am sure alot of you on this site are familiar with this issue, of being pressured to be or appear as something you aren't. I would like to know how you have dealt with it, I would like some advice as I am running out of ideas and the pressure has moved to the point of absurd.
I move out in 2 months but in the mean time I do have to deal with this.peace,
Khalil -
Finding common ground and distractions if the conversation starts leading to a bad place (could be a shift to another topic using a dramatic news bit or a subtle move of yes, you may be right, I must think on this). I haven't been pressurised to be or appear something I'm not but with people who are strangers or dramatically different in beliefs, I normally use this way if I do not want to get into a situation of debating them. In family, I dare say it would be easier, just keep a couple of juicy secrets/unknown news about someone else and drop it when the going gets tough, keeping some in reserve for emergency ammo. No more khalil you're insufferable!, rather it would be oh no, khalil tell us more!
peace
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Finding common ground and distractions if the conversation starts leading to a bad place (could be a shift to another topic using a dramatic news bit or a subtle move of yes, you may be right, I must think on this).
I have tried this, but they are now aware that the shadow wolf on the wall is really my hand. (
I haven't been pressurised to be or appear something I'm not but with people who are strangers or dramatically different in beliefs, I normally use this way if I do not want to get into a situation of debating them.
I think its easier to not feel being pressurized by strangers, because at the end of the day you do not have to go home with them... usually. However, during my last life as a bike tire, i was pressurised alot.
In family, I dare say it would be easier, just keep a couple of juicy secrets/unknown news about someone else and drop it when the going gets tough, keeping some in reserve for emergency ammo. No more khalil you're insufferable!, rather it would be oh no, khalil tell us more! P
Yes, I usually use my brothers secrets for that, like Pops "Bro is dating a white girl" "Bro is doing drugs" "Bro is dropping University to move to Mexico" etc etc...
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Now it's time to reveal some hard hitters of your own, rather than your bro's eh? It's just another two months. Oh! maybe you could just start chanting it in a low monotone all the time and people will leave you well alone? With a saffron robe and some beads, since you already have the hair or lack thereof down pat, the chanting would be the natural next step?
A friend of mine in the same situation but for different reasons started acting as if she had gone slightly mad from her family's constant heckling which had become too much for her to take, weird and surreal scenes ensued, some with her opening the window and staring at it for a long time etc...the family kinda let off. Now if that's your normal pattern in life, there's no hope for you and it's all doomed.
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Hi khalil,
I move out in 2 months but in the mean time I do have to deal with this.
if you need advice for the "meantime" it must really be tough ? Or is it a typo ;D
lk
ps i dealt with it by being me - moved out very young - and went far away - but this might not be the best way to go for everybody. So, my advice is BE YOURSELF even if it implicates kissing goats...
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Okay, this is how I do it
- I always say "yes." When my parents tell me to do something, I SAY I'll do it.
- I compromise. I go to the mosques on fridays (whenever I don't have school) so I can skip the other 34 prayers of the week.
- I try to avoid the topic, or my parents altogether. The latter isn't easy since we live in the same house.
If the conversation does turn that way, just don't say anything. Pretend to listen.
But I don't think the pressure on me is to the point of "absurd."
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wow I got an email from a girl I really like!!!!!!!!!
LOL....you guys are really funny sometimes. How topics go from one thing to the next trips me out. rotfl
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if you need advice for the "meantime" it must really be tough ? Or is it a typo ;D
lol. i crack me up.
ps i dealt with it by being me - moved out very young - and went far away - but this might not be the best way to go for everybody. So, my advice is BE YOURSELF even if it implicates kissing goats...
actually the whole problem is because I want to marry a goat, i feel wrong kissing without commitment. But my father said no son of my will marry a goat, you come from a heritage of proud indian/saskatchewan men. oh lk, what is a brother to do??
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94
- Did We not relieve your chest
- And take from you your load
- Which had put strain on your back?
- And We have raised your remembrance
- So with hardship comes ease.
- With hardship comes ease.
- So when you are done, then stand.
- And to your Lord you shall seek.
peace