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  4. 2:230

2:230

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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  • A Offline
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    Angel
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    Thanks Arnold! handshake

    God bless you

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      Elke
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      This is what i used to think also, but well, i don't really see the point anymore.

      In Morocco this law is applied. I know of a couple that divorced several times, then, wanting to make up, they couldn't. So she married her husbands best friend in order just to divorce him and to marry again her ex-husband. Only problem the "best friend" didn't want to divorce and at that time (not long ago) the woman could not ask for a divorce ;D, but a yellow one...

      It sure is an incitation, but in reality does not help much. I do not see how such an verse will make people more adult in their relation.

      Peace lk

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        jankren
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        My view toward the verse is a bit different. In my opinion the purpose of the verse is that the woman should give another man a chance who maybe can make her happier than her asshole ex-husband who divorced her 2X (If you keep breaking up with your bf/gf for example it is better to try another person to test the love you know). And if she is still unhappy with her new husband then she can come back to her asshole ex-husband whom she probably loves deep down despite his mistreatment toward her.

        Peace,

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          Angel
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          Interesting point Jankren! )

          But if their ?pain bodies? match perfectly then they will always come back to each other and suffer all over again. Those of you that have read Eckhart Tolles books will know what I mean when I say ?perfectly matched pain bodies?.

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            jankren
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            Interesting point Jankren! )

            But if their pain bodies match perfectly then they will always come back to each other and suffer all over again. Those of you that have read Eckhart Tolles books will know what I mean when I say perfectly matched pain bodies.

            That is why I dont understand the way of thinking of some women which is shown in the dialogue below

            Woman A Oh my God, what happened to your face?
            Woman B It is nothing.
            Woman A Did your husband hit you again?
            Woman B It wasnt his fault, it was mine. I made him angry. So just stay out of it.
            Woman A Seriously dude, you should leave your abusive husband.
            Woman B I told you to stay out of it. You do not understand. He loves me. You do not know how sweet he can be sometimes when we are together.
            Woman A Yeah sometimes, and most of the time he beats the crap out of you.
            Woman B Shut up! He loves me and that is all I need to know. So once again please just stay out of it, okay?
            Woman A Okay, whatever ...

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              Dotty
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              But some couples can be very emotional in their relationship and keep on marrying and divorcing after every fight or making up. To make then remind themselves that marriage is a solemn pledge, a sort of safety is build in.

              I agree. Most couples would think long and hard if they know they cannot re-marry again so easily.

              Of course, there are the occassional idiots that try to beat the system, but I think most would reconsider again and again.

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                arnoldyasin
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                Peace,

                Good point Jankren, as you can see, many wisdoms are hidden in these Laws. And in a Quranic System, it will be ahrd to beat the System. But that is all up to us humans in the future..

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                  unknownuser
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Peace all,

                  My understanding of the verse in question!

                  And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter so that she can wed another husband. Then if he (the later husband) divorce her it is no sin for both of them(wife and later husband not the former) that they come together again if they consider that they are able to observe the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah. He manifesteth them for people who have knowledge.

                  | - till/until/to/even/in order that/so that/except/and

                  To translating the verse in the conventional way we suppose that the previous husband would still wait and remain unmarried until ex-wife get divorce from the later husband. If the woman is free to marry another so is the previous husband. And if she gets the divorce from the later husband, she is still allowed to remarry the later husband but not the former who is already unlawful for her.

                  This is how I understand this.

                  Peace all, Hamsa

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                    Samia
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    Then if he (the later husband) divorce her it is no sin for both of them(wife and later husband not the former) that they come together again

                    The key word/phrase is (it is no sin ...). Why would it be presumed that it would be sin to return to her newer husband if they were divorced?

                    But it would be sin to return to former husband before marrying a different man. With a new marriage, and a divorce, it is no more sin to get back together again.

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                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      The key word/phrase is (it is no sin ...). Why would it be presumed that it would be sin to return to her newer husband if they were divorced?
                      But it would be sin to return to former husband before marrying a different man. With a new marriage, and a divorce, it is no more sin to get back together again.

                      Peace sis Samia,

                      Yes, you have a valid point.

                      But junaha doesn't necessarily mean sin. does it? See for example 2158 and 2198 where it is used as /there is no wrong/blame/ etc.

                      Thanks With Respect,
                      Peace all, Hamsa

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                        Samia
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        But junaha doesn't necessarily mean sin. does it?

                        It does not. It means blame, as you say, or deviation (deviation from the right path/ good decision..). But I just used the word you used, albeit not accurate. The exact meaning was not essential for my comment

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                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          Ok, lets see another verse

                          2236 It is no sin for you if ye divorce women while yet ye have not touched them, nor appointed unto them a portion. Provide for them, the rich according to his means, and the straitened according to his means, a fair provision. (This is) a bounden duty for those who do good.

                          The same word junaha is used in the above verse. So would it be a sin to divorce women after touching them and after appointing them a portion? ofcourse not! From this and the other occurances of junaha you can see that this word is used to say "this is totally fine" or "there is no problem in this". What do you think?

                          Peace all, Hamsa

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                            Samia
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            Salaam Hamza

                            I agree it does not mean sin (no sin). But it was not my translation, it was yours. I just borrowed it from your post and did not need to correct it, because that was not the point of my comment.

                            And you're right. It means (that's fine; OK; not far from good reasoning, no harm...)

                            If your last post was not directed to me, then I apologize for (jumping on the wagon) ;D

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                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              Peace sis Samia,

                              That wasn't altogether my translation either ;D I hardly know Arabic, I just see the occurances of a word from TIM, use Lane and common sense and finally sisters like you and other brothers help me getting my understanding of The Book better and better, God bless all of you.

                              Am in hurry now and would try to post on the issue later.

                              till then,
                              Peace all, Hamsa.

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                                progod
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                Peace,

                                I'd like to know if in Morrocco they also don't officialize any divorce until 3 months of waiting for the couple and then 4 months of wating for the women?

                                Godbless,
                                Anwar

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                                  Elke
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  Peace anwar

                                  in morocco, the new moudouwana stipulates ? period called "idda" which is usually of 4 lunar month and 10 days after divorce or death of husband, before the woman can contract a new marriage. This is the basic rule, but there are exceptions for the pregnant, those that have not consumed marraige etc.

                                  Now i'm not sure about the three month of waiting before pronunciation of divorce. All i know is that when i divorced under the old law, it was done in a day but mainly because we were not in conflict.

                                  lk

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                                    progod
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #20

                                    Peace,

                                    The Quran says 3 months before the official pronunciation of divorce, and that before that there should be intervention from a member of each's family. According to the Quran divorce is not to be immediate, it is a 3 month ordeal, and then the woman must wait 4 more monthly menstruations (quroo'un) before she can be engaged and married to anyone else.

                                    Godbless,
                                    Anwar

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                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #21

                                      According to the Quran divorce is not to be immediate, it is a 3 month ordeal, and then the woman must wait 4 more monthly menstruations (quroo'un) before she can be engaged and married to anyone else.
                                      Why? What was the relevancy behind it as seen in prehistoric times and what is its relevancy as seen in today's perspectives? Can you please shed your thoughts in parallel, perhaps I'm missing something here?

                                      Peace!

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                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #22

                                        Why? What was the relevancy behind it as seen in prehistoric times and what is its relevancy as seen in today's perspectives? Can you please shed your thoughts in parallel, perhaps I'm missing something here?

                                        Peace!

                                        Who knows. We can make educated guesses.

                                        For instance, over time women build up "semen dependancy" (I kid you not) http//psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20021002-000009.html
                                        So possibly, this could be related to a natural cycle in the woman, considering it is not "four months" but "four menstrual periods".

                                        Also, it takes time to get over a divorce, does it not?

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                                          Elke
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #23

                                          OPF, lol, so semen now qualifies as a drug.... ok, i'll just keep away from it and stick to my cigarettes

                                          Also, it takes time to get over a divorce, does it not?

                                          Seriously, you're not implying that it takes only four month to get over a divorce ? Well, everything exists, but that for sure is not the common pattern.

                                          Genteel, about the waiting period before and after. Before it's a possibility for the couple to change their minds. After i'd see it as an attempt to make sure that no baby's on the way. IMO, nowadays, a pregnancy test should be enough.

                                          progod, i know about the procedure in quran, but i don't think it's applied this way here. No family members judicially involved as far as i know. But one can also see this part of the procedure as an incitement for the family, before they go to the judges. So it should not be in the official procedure.

                                          salaams all, elke

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