Strip clubs?!
-
Salam.
Strip clubs are sinful places, we should avoid them but if we decide to go there, we should go there with only one purpose to help those women get back on the track, ofer them a better life, help them find a better job and if that means i have to sleep on the floor tonight so that some stripper sleeps on my bed, then i will do that, i will stay hungry just so that she doesn't work there.
I would do anything to close strip clubs, to help those women, which is why i'm in the movie industry - money is the factor which does that anything - it opens doors to some people.
God knows best.
Peace.
These women, most of them anyway generally have suffered some form of sexual abuse as children. I think some 90% (?) of sex workers suffered rape, incest, etc during their childhood.
-
Peace all,
I do not encourage young people to go to strip clubs but come on guys no one is perfect, in his age it?s hard to resist the temptations and once in a while you do give in.
My advice to the young man is that ?don?t make it a habit or an obsession? because that will become your idol then.
The positive sign is that the young man is not proud of this visit and feels that he has done something morally wrong and prays for forgiveness from the lord.
Allah desires that He should make light your burdens, and man is created weak. 428
Say "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! DESPAIR NOT OF THE MERCY OF ALLAH FOR ALLAH FORGIVES ALL SINS for HE IS OFT-FORGIVING, MOST MERCIFUL. 3953.
LK
This is also the bigger picture i'd like to bring over to ammar.
Besides the fact that you might have done something morally wrong as far as the rules of modesty are concerned, i'd like you to think about why these women are there. In many cases they are victims of organized crime and you're being there makes it live...this might sound far fetched, as we all do things in our lives that contribute to the world not getting any better - and be it only not sorting the waste...
imo guys that use prostitutes are worse than the prostitutes in most cases. the prostitute being oppressed (usuually) the pimp as well as the "user" are the oppressors, and oppression is worse than murder
Einige sehr gute Punkte LK bravo
peace
-
I do not encourage young people to go to strip clubs but come on guys no one is perfect, in his age it?s hard to resist the temptations and once in a while you do give in.
This is true. Please, I request to everyone who passes judgement... remember what it is like... none of us are perfect. It is better to advise ammar to try his best (with God's help) to do better in the future. After all, we can't do anything in this world with out the help of God.
The positive sign is that the young man is not proud of this visit and feels that he has done something morally wrong and prays for forgiveness from the lord.
Ditto.
-
Well I do know that strip clubs are wrong and will never support them but when ur with friends then its a bit hard ... My friends are good! No one really forced me to get a dance and no one can ever force me! ...
The thing is that during the dance, we did some sex positions and she was sitting on me but obviously my trousers were zipped up etc ... OH GOD I know i did wrong and ill never get a dance again .. never ever again!
I think Allah will understand cus its a natural temptation but believe me, I will never have sex before marriage and thats my stern principle!
-
Well I do know that strip clubs are wrong and will never support them but when ur with friends then its a bit hard ... My friends are good! No one really forced me to get a dance and no one can ever force me! ...
The thing is that during the dance, we did some sex positions and she was sitting on me but obviously my trousers were zipped up etc ... OH GOD I know i did wrong and ill never get a dance again .. never ever again!
I think Allah will understand cus its a natural temptation but believe me, I will never have sex before marriage and thats my stern principle!
Peace,
You are on the right track here with your feelings. I never saw that blame should be put on your friends ammar. After all, we are ultimately responsible for ourselves. YOU made the choice, no one else. Now YOU are making the choice to never do it again, with the help of God.
-
Well I do know that strip clubs are wrong and will never support them but when ur with friends then its a bit hard ... My friends are good! No one really forced me to get a dance and no one can ever force me! ...
The thing is that during the dance, we did some sex positions and she was sitting on me but obviously my trousers were zipped up etc ... OH GOD I know i did wrong and ill never get a dance again .. never ever again!
I think Allah will understand cus its a natural temptation but believe me, I will never have sex before marriage and thats my stern principle!
You are correct in every regard, but friends influence each other, and that's what I meant by forcing. Maybe you should influence them, towards good, bring them onto this site, no?
-
Salam,
Elke posted some good verses there.
Ammarb, nothing is more 'cool' than a person with strong intergrity! I know sometimes we just dont wanna hurt others' feelings but we ourselves are individuals too and we have to respect our own wishes and values... Be strong, friend!
-
The thing is that during the dance, we did some sex positions and she was sitting on me but obviously my trousers were zipped up etc ...... OH GOD I know i did wrong and ill never get a dance again .. never ever again!
Ammar Ammar....please forgive me http//i73.photobucket.com/albums/i231/nabpeace/people-more/peoples_223.gifand please come out of it young man.
peace
-
Elke, OPF, I have to disagree.
Where do you folks get your statistics, most involve organized crime, 90% were sexually abused??
I know a few strippers, quite a few of them did it for the money, the one I'm closest with did it to pay for University tuition, not because she was forced into it by the mafia. She also came from a decent family. Let's face it, you can earn big money stripping for a week instead of waiting on tables at a restaurant. I believe this is the case for strippers in developed countries where this activity is legal and thus government regulated. And also OPF the girls I know who were sexually abused did not turn out to be strippers, the girls who were strippers weren't sexually abused. Where did you get the 90%?
The Czech Republic, where our friend got his lap dance is an EU member country. European Union laws applies on the rights of workers applies. I doubt they were forced into it by organized crime. Similarly, having live in another EU country, the Netherlands, where not only strip clubs are legal but also prostitution, i can attest that it is done out of will, the stripping and prostitution industry is also heavily regulated by the government and the sex workers are taxed!
Now, I'm living back in Malaysia, I can tell you that organized crime here is heavily involved in the sex industry, smuggling in girls from poorer neighboring countries. This is a country that bans brothels, prostitution and strip clubs. This is usually the case, when you ban and make something illegal, Organized crime fills in the void in the market, it becomes an underground industry. You had the same situation in the US when they banned alcohol during the prohibition years. I'm for legalization of brothels, prostitution and strip clubs. At least with this, the government can regulate the industry thus make it safer simply by having it out in the open. Even though morally and religiously it's wrong.
In the Netherlands, there's a lot of health and safety government regulations on sex workers, even down to sordid things like "shaving sex", which until today I have no idea what that it, neither did the sex worker.
Wer sind die Deutschen auf diesem Forum?
Ich spreche deutsch, aber ich beginne zu vergessen, niemand in meinem Land spreche es. Trotzdem mein bester Freund ist ein berliner, mein "ex girlfriend" ist ein ?sterreicher, so ?be ich manchmal mit ihnen. But damn do you guys have a difficult language.
-
Rumi, I specifically put a question mark after 90% because I wasn't sure of the exact figure.
http//www.icasa.org/uploads/adult_survivors_of_incest.pdf
66%.
I think this statistic originated from the netherlands. Sex workers is a broad term however, I don't think most strippers are being forced at all.
-
Peace rumi, don't look at me like that LOL
what statistics ?
I said many and usually, don't think i even said most....
anyway, if they are not forced into it by criminal organization, most are by drugs (criminal organization not far...) and the men using them are still profiting.
About organized crime yes i believe that in bigger cities these places are organized. Now i do not have any figures to rely on, but i know about the Russian connection in Nice for example
ok, some or many of these girls might know what they get into, but even then, they should be able to get out and i don't think they can.
also i don't think that legalizing brothels prostitution aso will lead to a better organisation by the state of these activities, there would still be a lot of "underground" like girls with an official contract but how did one get them to sign it...
i know that not all are victims, some just don't care and see it as an easy way to make a living. (can it be easy ? ???)
peace
lk -
Well I do know that strip clubs are wrong and will never support them but when ur with friends then its a bit hard ... My friends are good! No one really forced me to get a dance and no one can ever force me! ...
The thing is that during the dance, we did some sex positions and she was sitting on me but obviously my trousers were zipped up etc ... OH GOD I know i did wrong and ill never get a dance again .. never ever again!
I think Allah will understand cus its a natural temptation but believe me, I will never have sex before marriage and thats my stern principle!
Seems like you had quite an entertaining experience that taught you some lessons. Temptations can lead to harm out of sheer excitement if not understood and must be carefully exercised each time you rise and fall. It is no sin to fall into mud but a disgrace to remain therein. Take care! peace -
Peace ammarb87 ,
Hey I'm not going to knock anyone else's comments and advices to you about this but I have a few words for you.
I know it is hard. I'm a young Afro-American guy and our culture is very macho and I suffered through people trying to call me a homosexual because I wasn't that interested in making pursuing and glaring at females my top occupation. So I know what it feels like when you are trying to be righteous and the whole time being emasculated by your own community for trying to be righteous in the aspect of sex. So I am not going to give you a guilt trip as it is not the end of the world. But I also know why you told everyone here. You know that it is really none of our business but when you live in a society that congratulates you for committing indecencies like this and approves of you and your worth as a man when you commit these kinds of acts then you have to tell someone who will help you feel like it is wrong, because the longer you are around people who congratulate you for these things the more you think that it is okay and that it is even right somehow, and justified.I think many of us here can sympathize with you. Now marriage is good but it is definitely not the same as going to a strip club and somewhat having your way with a woman and then leaving no strings attatched. The bad thing about strip clubs is that you are tempting yourself and maybe even God (in the Jewish sense of the phrase). You are around drunkeness, immorality and even prostitution as strip clubs are also most definitely centers of prostitution and those girls most times definitely have pimps. So yeah you are having fun with the guys but let it happen more than once and it will definitely turn into more and you will see how you are stepping through a door to even worse habits. I know it is not fun being alone and it feels good and right to feel like a virile young man along with your guy friends but it will easily lead to other habits all the way until you realize, 'What have i sunk into.' I'm not not one to publicize everything I've done or seen but believe me, I just pray you and God that you don't feel curious to try this road once you know what it is.
To get back to marriage, marriage is not easy and it is certainly not an only-for-sex relationship. It is rare to find the woman who is fuly-confident in herself and her husband. No, believe me most woman have their bad habits, insecurities and many, may illogical reactions many times to very simple things. But sex is definitely a benefit and sexual relationships are usually more fulfilling in long-term relationships and when you actually love (and at the same time lust after) your partner.
So I do recommend marriage but you also have to be able to coexist, comprimise, set limits and interact daily with your wife (unless you have some sort of long distance marriage). But it is in no waaaaaay equivlant to sexual satsifaction only. There may even be times where you are so displeased with your wife that you don't even want to have relations with her, that won't happen with a random girl or a stripper but you don't know that girl and are actually doing (and can do) more harm to her and yourself than you realize.So in the end i would do my best if I were you to wean myself from those friends, and alot of the negative aspect of your immediate culture that define your manhood in this way. It has been a process for me as well. You should really try to strengthen your thankfulness, love and faith for God. I know no-one wants to be like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons either but if you can find some Muslims, Jews or even Christians with a head on their shoulders and who also strive towards morality like you, you may find some comfort there. Try to look for good people who do their best to be moral, but beware of the extremist, the idol-worshippers and the hypocrites in whatever religion they come, they will drag you to the opposite extreme which you will find is no more based on faith, love, thankfulness and submission to God than those guys who go out to strip clubs, get drunk and look to gather their modern day harems or get laid or close to it. Yes what you did was wrong, but realize that you will do more wrong to yourself by going back and letting those "friends" get to you. Try to find your manhood in God, rather than women or the words of ungodly peers.
Godbless,
Anwar -
Peace,
Nice post Br Anwar!
Maria
-
Salam.
I'm your friend, brother.
I'm a 29-year-old virgin and can't wait to get married because at least i will have something to look forward in the marriage when and if it comes - not just sex. InshaAllah.You have many friends here, brother, brothers and sisters, we're all here for your support. But do keep up the prayer that will keep you away from the strip clubs and bad people. InshaAllah.
Peace.