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  3. Parenting & Children
  4. Raising Children

Raising Children

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Parenting & Children
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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    Rev_John
    wrote on last edited by
    #37

    I had a quick flick

    Well is the property owned? because if it is then it shouldn't be to hard to maintain..

    The Joker, Don't leave it to chance? yeh well i think i was saying we shouldn't just choose to follow blindly. People know if they study? if they question if they think..

    People can choose to be ignorant or knowledgeable.

    I think as a child or a growing adult you can see what you agree and disagree with from your parents practices. I already see things and think I don't agree with that if i ever have children i would bla bla bla..

    you can have some insight through observation.

    No it's rented

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    • D Offline
      D Offline
      Dotty
      wrote on last edited by
      #38

      Salam all -

      Raising children is an extremely difficult task. I have a 19 year old son, a 17 year old son, and my daughter is 8.

      For years I thought if I kept my kids off drugs, out of jail, and away from pregnancy... I would be doing good. When my boys were young (til around the age of 10-12) I toted them to church, bible classes, bible camps, church youth groups, church picnics, and meetings up the waazoo. I was so involved in the church then, i.e. bible teacher, youth leader, chair of the children's council, etc.

      Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I find it strange that in all those years being so involved in christianity, I never thought about God nearly as much as I do after I found Islam. Weird, I know. My point is, I think so much more about my children's spirituality since then. So now, instead of cramming it down their throats, we have productive conversations about religion and I regularly tell them not to just follow any, but to question freely whatever they want and search in a way they feel at ease. I'm against force in any religion. Children take more interest when they're comfortable and feel they have a choice.

      My boys don't pray, but I'm not hung up on the matter. They're accomplished young adults that are kind and generous. Inshallah, prayer will come with maturity because the foundation is already laid out. On the other hand, my daughter likes to pray so I encourage her a lot.

      I don't think good children happen by accident. Raising them takes an unbelievable amount of patience, strength, and determination. Leading by example is the only way to really teach a child, IMO. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm blessed with children that are respectful and compassionate. I know it's all from God and I'm very thankful. Put all your trust in God and your decisions will be good ones that work for your family.

      Peace
      dotty

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      • T Offline
        T Offline
        TheJoker
        wrote on last edited by
        #39

        Salam all -

        Raising children is an extremely difficult task. I have a 19 year old son, a 17 year old son, and my daughter is 8.

        For years I thought if I kept my kids off drugs, out of jail, and away from pregnancy... I would be doing good. When my boys were young (til around the age of 10-12) I toted them to church, bible classes, bible camps, church youth groups, church picnics, and meetings up the waazoo. I was so involved in the church then, i.e. bible teacher, youth leader, chair of the children's council, etc.

        Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I find it strange that in all those years being so involved in christianity, I never thought about God nearly as much as I do after I found Islam. Weird, I know. My point is, I think so much more about my children's spirituality since then. So now, instead of cramming it down their throats, we have productive conversations about religion and I regularly tell them not to just follow any, but to question freely whatever they want and search in a way they feel at ease. I'm against force in any religion. Children take more interest when they're comfortable and feel they have a choice.

        My boys don't pray, but I'm not hung up on the matter. They're accomplished young adults that are kind and generous. Inshallah, prayer will come with maturity because the foundation is already laid out. On the other hand, my daughter likes to pray so I encourage her a lot.

        I don't think good children happen by accident. Raising them takes an unbelievable amount of patience, strength, and determination. Leading by example is the only way to really teach a child, IMO. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm blessed with children that are respectful and compassionate. I know it's all from God and I'm very thankful. Put all your trust in God and your decisions will be good ones that work for your family.

        Peace
        dotty

        Thanks for sharing. I think you are doing it the right way.

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        • S Offline
          S Offline
          SarahY
          wrote on last edited by
          #40

          Salam dotty

          you're right raising children is an extremely difficult task. Definitely the children's environment affects them their parents actions, what they have, what they see, their friends, who they associated with... all this influences and in many ways we can skew their direction..

          Sometimes over involving kids in what we think is right can cause them to be resentful. it's great that you can have conversations about religion, that can be more meaningful than being indoctrinated by preachers. Also i think it gives them a sense of autonomy and whatever it is that they do believe in, it's more likely they would be contented rather than blindly accepting.

          I don't think good children happen by accident either. although parents play a crucial part, the individual child also has the ability to be an active agent and decide what is 'good'.

          Alhamdulillah for what you have

          Peace

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          • D Offline
            D Offline
            Dotty
            wrote on last edited by
            #41

            Thanks for sharing. I think you are doing it the right way.

            All with God's help my friend, but I'm sure you already know that.

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            • D Offline
              D Offline
              Dotty
              wrote on last edited by
              #42

              I don't think good children happen by accident either. although parents play a crucial part, the individual child also has the ability to be an active agent and decide what is 'good'.

              Alhamdulillah for what you have )

              I agree with this, but the child cannot decide what is 'good' if he/she is not taught the difference.

              Alhamdulillah is right sister!

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              • R Offline
                R Offline
                Rev_John
                wrote on last edited by
                #43

                I agree with this, but the child cannot decide what is 'good' if he/she is not taught the difference.

                Alhamdulillah is right sister!

                But many children have different values of good and bad than their parents do.

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                • M Offline
                  M Offline
                  MUNZIR_ALI
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #44

                  No I am the founder of the Christian Church of Reality. There are other churches that believe (roughly) the same thing, but we are all independent of each other unfortunately. We only have a couple of kids that come, most of my members are 30s and up, I suppose after they start thinking.

                  Thats a bit offencive because i'm thirteen! >(

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                  • M Offline
                    M Offline
                    MUNZIR_ALI
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #45

                    The funding is difficult, it is just members donating and me making up the difference.

                    God bless you and your church members! pr

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                    • R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Rev_John
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #46

                      Thats a bit offencive because i'm thirteen! >(

                      laugh I did say "most"

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                      • M Offline
                        M Offline
                        MUNZIR_ALI
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #47

                        laugh I did say "most"

                        oh! sun sun sun

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                        • D Offline
                          D Offline
                          Dotty
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #48

                          But many children have different values of good and bad than their parents do.

                          Though a child may meander around a bit, core values come from the way a child is raised. That's just my opinion, of course.

                          Peace!

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                          • S Offline
                            S Offline
                            SarahY
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #49

                            dotty, i agree though the environment impacts on how they are raised so they may also gain values from the society they live in

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                            • D Offline
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                              Dotty
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #50

                              Sarah... I have to agree with you on that. Good point!

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                              • S Offline
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                                Submitterwife
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #51

                                Salaam
                                I agree and it was hard for me to find information about rasing kids. I bought a book called raising kids in islaam because it said it had quranic support. Most of it was hadiths but some quranic qoutes on parenting. Basically the same rules we live by we should instill in our children. We have them praying at 7 and 9 and they dress modernly and fashionably but modestly and are defenders and they know they are not supposed to be mean or bullies. We teach them to be kind to parents and elders and that when they do good( works, attitude etc...) they get good and when they do bad( acts, attitudes, etc...) that they get bad. We do not teach them the parenting hadiths, eating a certain way or sleeping in one side. We keep the hadiths out of it. I highlight in all the books that I buy that have quran and sunnah sayings and I highlight the quran verses and see if they really pertain to the subject that the author is trying to support. Main point is that we should parent our kids to live by the same rules and ways we do. Kids are supposed to be kind to parents and in modern societies kids are rebellious so i think this verse was placed in the Quran to remind kids that t hey are not to rebel and treat parents badly like alot of modern day kids treat there parents and family. I also think like I said before that we shoudl raise them like how we are supposed to behave and act children see and copy what youdo and not so much what you say if your not doing it. I hope my thoughts can help but they are only my thoughts and in no way the quran or GOD.

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                                • S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  SarahY
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #52

                                  Salam )

                                  thanks for sharing your thoughts.

                                  Main point is that we should parent our kids to live by the same rules and ways we do. Kids are supposed to be kind to parents and in modern societies kids are rebellious so i think this verse was placed in the Quran to remind kids that t hey are not to rebel and treat parents badly like alot of modern day kids treat there parents and family.

                                  Well if we enslave children with our rulings 'do this and do that', yet we're doing the contrary i doubt children will listen. So i agree we should parent by the same rules or at least similar.

                                  i think the kindness to parents links back to how the child is raised. if there is no guidance, support and love then i doubt in future children would cherish and be kind to their parents.

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                                  • S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Submitterwife
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #53

                                    You have a great point, I do agree with you on the point that the kindness to parents relates to how your raise and treat your kids. It causes a ripple effect and will be passed on through there kids and so on and so forth. I feel like we should be role models and examples for our kids. I did not mean by saying we should raise them according to how we should live that you tell them smoking is bad and drinking is bad and then they see you doing those things. I meant more like a role model type parenting where you are showing and teaching your children and not just demanding or telling them how they should behave while you are doing contradictory actions.

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