Raising Children
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Salam all -
Raising children is an extremely difficult task. I have a 19 year old son, a 17 year old son, and my daughter is 8.
For years I thought if I kept my kids off drugs, out of jail, and away from pregnancy... I would be doing good. When my boys were young (til around the age of 10-12) I toted them to church, bible classes, bible camps, church youth groups, church picnics, and meetings up the waazoo. I was so involved in the church then, i.e. bible teacher, youth leader, chair of the children's council, etc.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I find it strange that in all those years being so involved in christianity, I never thought about God nearly as much as I do after I found Islam. Weird, I know. My point is, I think so much more about my children's spirituality since then. So now, instead of cramming it down their throats, we have productive conversations about religion and I regularly tell them not to just follow any, but to question freely whatever they want and search in a way they feel at ease. I'm against force in any religion. Children take more interest when they're comfortable and feel they have a choice.
My boys don't pray, but I'm not hung up on the matter. They're accomplished young adults that are kind and generous. Inshallah, prayer will come with maturity because the foundation is already laid out. On the other hand, my daughter likes to pray so I encourage her a lot.
I don't think good children happen by accident. Raising them takes an unbelievable amount of patience, strength, and determination. Leading by example is the only way to really teach a child, IMO. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm blessed with children that are respectful and compassionate. I know it's all from God and I'm very thankful. Put all your trust in God and your decisions will be good ones that work for your family.
Peace
dotty -
Salam all -
Raising children is an extremely difficult task. I have a 19 year old son, a 17 year old son, and my daughter is 8.
For years I thought if I kept my kids off drugs, out of jail, and away from pregnancy... I would be doing good. When my boys were young (til around the age of 10-12) I toted them to church, bible classes, bible camps, church youth groups, church picnics, and meetings up the waazoo. I was so involved in the church then, i.e. bible teacher, youth leader, chair of the children's council, etc.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I find it strange that in all those years being so involved in christianity, I never thought about God nearly as much as I do after I found Islam. Weird, I know. My point is, I think so much more about my children's spirituality since then. So now, instead of cramming it down their throats, we have productive conversations about religion and I regularly tell them not to just follow any, but to question freely whatever they want and search in a way they feel at ease. I'm against force in any religion. Children take more interest when they're comfortable and feel they have a choice.
My boys don't pray, but I'm not hung up on the matter. They're accomplished young adults that are kind and generous. Inshallah, prayer will come with maturity because the foundation is already laid out. On the other hand, my daughter likes to pray so I encourage her a lot.
I don't think good children happen by accident. Raising them takes an unbelievable amount of patience, strength, and determination. Leading by example is the only way to really teach a child, IMO. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm blessed with children that are respectful and compassionate. I know it's all from God and I'm very thankful. Put all your trust in God and your decisions will be good ones that work for your family.
Peace
dottyThanks for sharing. I think you are doing it the right way.
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Salam dotty
you're right raising children is an extremely difficult task. Definitely the children's environment affects them their parents actions, what they have, what they see, their friends, who they associated with... all this influences and in many ways we can skew their direction..
Sometimes over involving kids in what we think is right can cause them to be resentful. it's great that you can have conversations about religion, that can be more meaningful than being indoctrinated by preachers. Also i think it gives them a sense of autonomy and whatever it is that they do believe in, it's more likely they would be contented rather than blindly accepting.
I don't think good children happen by accident either. although parents play a crucial part, the individual child also has the ability to be an active agent and decide what is 'good'.
Alhamdulillah for what you have
Peace
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I don't think good children happen by accident either. although parents play a crucial part, the individual child also has the ability to be an active agent and decide what is 'good'.
Alhamdulillah for what you have )
I agree with this, but the child cannot decide what is 'good' if he/she is not taught the difference.
Alhamdulillah is right sister!
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No I am the founder of the Christian Church of Reality. There are other churches that believe (roughly) the same thing, but we are all independent of each other unfortunately. We only have a couple of kids that come, most of my members are 30s and up, I suppose after they start thinking.
Thats a bit offencive because i'm thirteen! >(
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The funding is difficult, it is just members donating and me making up the difference.
God bless you and your church members! pr
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laugh I did say "most"
oh! sun sun sun
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Salaam
I agree and it was hard for me to find information about rasing kids. I bought a book called raising kids in islaam because it said it had quranic support. Most of it was hadiths but some quranic qoutes on parenting. Basically the same rules we live by we should instill in our children. We have them praying at 7 and 9 and they dress modernly and fashionably but modestly and are defenders and they know they are not supposed to be mean or bullies. We teach them to be kind to parents and elders and that when they do good( works, attitude etc...) they get good and when they do bad( acts, attitudes, etc...) that they get bad. We do not teach them the parenting hadiths, eating a certain way or sleeping in one side. We keep the hadiths out of it. I highlight in all the books that I buy that have quran and sunnah sayings and I highlight the quran verses and see if they really pertain to the subject that the author is trying to support. Main point is that we should parent our kids to live by the same rules and ways we do. Kids are supposed to be kind to parents and in modern societies kids are rebellious so i think this verse was placed in the Quran to remind kids that t hey are not to rebel and treat parents badly like alot of modern day kids treat there parents and family. I also think like I said before that we shoudl raise them like how we are supposed to behave and act children see and copy what youdo and not so much what you say if your not doing it. I hope my thoughts can help but they are only my thoughts and in no way the quran or GOD. -
Salam )
thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Main point is that we should parent our kids to live by the same rules and ways we do. Kids are supposed to be kind to parents and in modern societies kids are rebellious so i think this verse was placed in the Quran to remind kids that t hey are not to rebel and treat parents badly like alot of modern day kids treat there parents and family.
Well if we enslave children with our rulings 'do this and do that', yet we're doing the contrary i doubt children will listen. So i agree we should parent by the same rules or at least similar.
i think the kindness to parents links back to how the child is raised. if there is no guidance, support and love then i doubt in future children would cherish and be kind to their parents.
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You have a great point, I do agree with you on the point that the kindness to parents relates to how your raise and treat your kids. It causes a ripple effect and will be passed on through there kids and so on and so forth. I feel like we should be role models and examples for our kids. I did not mean by saying we should raise them according to how we should live that you tell them smoking is bad and drinking is bad and then they see you doing those things. I meant more like a role model type parenting where you are showing and teaching your children and not just demanding or telling them how they should behave while you are doing contradictory actions.