Hitting kids
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Peace,
wow, that was really fast acting to put her behind bars and take care of her kids.
I know many parents who do worse things to their kids.
I believe violence creates more violence and my opinion about this is that parents who punish their kids with biting or beating is suffer themselves and need help to stop this awful activity.
Maria
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I've fond memories of flying shoes and brooms myself, contact ratio around 31 (maybe my mom should've played some games and improved her reflexes).
salam
maybe thats why i never hit my kids, to busy trying to beat them in nintendo.......... D D D
but on a serious note with 5 kids and somewhat experience, best way to dicipline them is give them all the love and compassion you can and when they are bad kids, the silent treatment will kill them, they will be begging for forgiveness. dont open yourhand all the way but dont shut it either.
i like this sign PEACE, thats cool peace -
Child rearing, specially that of teen-agers need a lot of common sense and patience. What will stop you from hitting your teenage child? Nothing from the Quran I believe. So why are you aghast at physical punishment?
Is there a minimum age for this?
242 The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.
What if you catch your teenage child making out with somebody?
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Child rearing, specially that of teen-agers need a lot of common sense and patience. What will stop you from hitting your teenage child? Nothing from the Quran I believe. So why are you aghast at physical punishment?
Is there a minimum age for this?
242 The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.
What if you catch your teenage child making out with somebody?
The same question would be posed to ones "adult child"...
The notion of teenage, is a relatively modern notion (post 1900s).
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salam angel. are you backbiting your parents on this forum?
allah is the truth.
what would i gain from 'backbiting'? especially since no one here knows me in real life.
its only pathalogical liars that believe that others are lying, so try not to judge me from your own pathetically low standards.
anyways i tell them daily that they robbed me off my childhood and teenage years, you don't know what i went through, what i mentioned on the thread is the tip of the iceberg. And nothing they've not heard me complain about before.
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well then somebody would have to make my mums nose blood, repeatedly punch her in the face.
as a child she once put her whole body weight on me and nothing anyone can do can
compensatefor that.she kicked me as hard as she could, so somebody would have to give her plenty of those.
my granddad hit me really hard all the time (he used to teach me to read arabic and hit me whenever i made mistakes, and i made a bazillion of those), if he had to go through that now he would probably end up disabled.
what makes the whole thing worse is that i am genuinly sensative to pain, if you punched my sister the pain would go away within 5 minutes, if you punched me the physical pain would be there for hours, probably days. being so sensative to pain has been extremly inconvenient.
even as a child when falling down while playing i always had to stop and sit down for a few hours, while others who fell down could usually get up and play as normal.
That is all so sad. These things should never happen but unfortunately for you they did. Yes, they will leave an emotional scar, but they cannot be undone now. I pity your mother and grandfather, there is obviously an emotional problem there. But it is a good thing that you can talk about it, there are many people that can't.
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There is a time for a parent to be stern.Being stern does not require violence elektro. Stern and calm gets the best results. You want your kids to listen to you because they love and respect you group, not because they fear you police &.
In a perfect world this is true, but unfortunately there will always be bullies.
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In a perfect world this is true, but unfortunately there will always be bullies.
Of course there will be. We as individuals should try our best not to be bullies. I was bullied and I don't want to pass it to the next generation. Part of being a good parent is not making the mistakes our parents made, and remebering how one felt as a child.
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Of course there will be. We as individuals should try our best not to be bullies. I was bullied and I don't want to pass it to the next generation. Part of being a good parent is not making the mistakes our parents made, and remebering how one felt as a child.
It's good that you have learned. Many people who are abused turn around and do it to their kids. Sad.
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That is true unfortunately
Kids should be treated like gold or platinum or <---Probably nobody will agree with me on this one. rotfl
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There is a time for a parent to be stern.Being stern does not require violence elektro. Stern and calm gets the best results. You want your kids to listen to you because they love and respect you group, not because they fear you police &.
Very true. I feel too many people result to violence because they do not have time to spend with their kids, so the kids do silly things to gain attention thus get beat! Some parents today live in a very bad cycle of depression, pressure, obligation and kids getting in the way!
Kids up to the age of 7 or 8 need routine and structure, they have a ritual/structure for everything and it is important to keep to that ritual/structure. If you do this you will have no problems. Speak to your children and model your behaviour so they can see and learn. Everything you do they are watching and absorbing. Spend time with them and do things together to gain trust and bond. Most of all show an interest of what they do and loads of praise, as a rule of thumb praise them twice as much as you do telling them off. If you really feel that your child has stepped over the mark and has been a danger to themselves as well as others then have a serious word but do not hit them around their head or use tools! Do not repeatedly strike out, a little hit on the bum and serious talking to should do the trick or even try to ask them why they think you are cross with them and talk about the consequences. Most of all I feel some parents can not show their love towards their children which create most of the problems in the first place.Let me share a story my father used to tell me, when he was 12 he worked as an apprentice at a garage. Before he started his work the boss used to give him a few slaps. When he asked why, he replied just incase you do a mistake. He said, thats not fair I havent done nothing wrong. The boss replied if you do something wrong its not worth disciplining you as the damage has already been done. ;D So the moral of the story is spend time with your kids teaching them right from wrong so they do not make the mistakes in the first place. handshake
Peace
Hope
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salam
what does the Quran say about hitting?
I personally was belted by my parents they were not muslim, I personally have no complaints and my brother and 1st cousins and must say that we are outstanding children, especially from the neighborhood we came from. See beating kids cause your angry or in a rage ofcourse is wrong, however sometimes a kid needs a smack now and then. My parents loved me I know that but belted me and explained why I'm getting belted after telling me three times not to do something and I keep doing it we had structure, routine and time from our parents and they use to take toys or whatever else a way from me then finally they would belt us kids never the girls though. I look at my life and see that us kids grew up in a neighborhood where all our mates did drugs, dropped out of high school, in jail at a young age, we weren't perfect but in our neighborhood regardless of how desperate things got, we had good judgement and that was taught to us by my parents. (thank you Allah).
Some parents I know abuse kids and go to far and thats wrong but some parents smack their kids because they love there kids they want to guide their kids like my parents. Don't know much about the pschological effects and all that, but I know that I am a strong person because of my upbringing and I just thought that I would share that with you.
Salam
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Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.A wise son heeds his father's instruction,
but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.Proverbs 1324 Bible
Dont Spare the rod, youll spoil the child.
lol
Look sometimes...you gotta hit your kids. There is a Certain age to Start and a Certain Age to Stop.
Young Small children need to be Physically hit (lightly) and then told what they did wrong,once they grow older, you can use non-physical punishments such as Groundings etc...And Explain with a much More Advanced Logic why they are in trouble.
If you little 5 year old does something bad...he is not really able to understand your Logic of "WHY" it is bad...his mind is not yet grown.
So a simply slap...and explanation seems to work just fine.D police laugh -
Selam
Some time ago I was listening to a lecture on bringing up children. The guy giving the lecture mentioned some stages
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When a child is young - routine and very stricked boundaries are required.
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When a child is their early/mid teens - Stricked rules are required and good explenation of right and wrong
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Late teens - You become a friend and a advisor
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Early 20's and onwards - Your their friend.
I think thats what was basically said, It has been some time so can't remember the actual lecture fully.
Peace
Hope
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If you little 5 year old does something bad...he is not really able to understand your Logic of "WHY" it is bad...his mind is not yet grown.
So a simply slap...and explanation seems to work just fine.D police laughhaha i disagree, 5 year old's aren't stupid make your logic of "why" simple for a 5 year old to comprehend. i mean it's normal for adults to explain things differently to different people, kids should be given that right too.
a slap is more about a power issue. i dunno... some kids retaliate and slap, bite, kick/swear back but adults might just enforce more power. i don't think a child is going to enjoy pain being inflicted upon them by a greater power eventually they'll just cop it, cry or scream. I think it would more like teach the kid to do "whatever it was" in secret, if they did ever decide to do it again.