The virginity industry
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The virginity industry
Young Arab women wait in an upmarket medical clinic for an operation that will not only change their lives, but quite possibly save it. Yet the operation is a matter of choice and not necessity. It costs about 2,000 euros (?1,700) and carries very little risk.
The clinic is not in Dubai or Cairo, but in Paris. And the surgery they are waiting for is to restore their virginity.
Whether in Asia or the Arab world, an unknown number of women face an agonising problem having broken a deep taboo. They've had sex outside marriage and if found out, risk being ostracised by their communities, or even murdered.Now more and more of them are undergoing surgery to re-connect their hymens and hide any sign of past sexual activity. They want to ensure that blood is spilled on their wedding night sheets.
The social pressure is so great that some women have even taken their own lives.
Sonia wants to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal. She is a slender young brunette studying at art college in Paris.
Although born in France, Arab culture and traditions are central to Sonia's life. Life was strict growing up under the watchful eyes of a large traditional Arab family.
Virginity certificates
"I thought of suicide after my first sexual relationship," she says, "because I couldn't see any other solution." But Sonia did find a solution.
She eventually went to the Paris clinic of Dr Marc Abecassis to have surgery to restore her hymen. She says she will never reveal her secret to anyone, especially her husband to be.
"I consider this is my sex life and I don't have to tell anyone about it," she says. It's men that are obliging her to lie about it, she says.
Dr Abecassis performs a "hymenoplasty" as it's called, at least two to three times a week. Re-connecting the tissue of the hymen takes about 30 minutes under local anaesthetic.
He says the average age of the patient is about 25, and they come from all social backgrounds. Although the surgery is performed in clinics around the world, Dr Abecassis is one of the few Arab surgeons who talks openly about it. Some of the women come to him because they need virginity certificates in order to marry.
"She can be in danger because sometimes it's a matter of traditions and family," says Dr Abecassis. "I believe we as doctors have no right to decide for her or judge her."
With Chinese manufacturers leading the way, there are now non-surgical options on the market as well. One website sells artificial hymens for just ?20 (23 euros). The Chinese hymen is made of elastic and filled with fake blood. Once inserted in the vagina, the woman can simulate virginity, the company claims.
'Caught out'
But this was not an option for Nada. As a young girl growing up in the Lebanese countryside she fell in love and lost her virginity. "I was scared my family would find out especially since they didn't approve of my relationship," she says. "I was terrified they might kill me."
After seven years in the relationship, her lover's family wanted him to marry someone else. Nada attempted suicide. "I got a bottle of Panadol and a bottle of household chemicals," she says. "I drank them and said, 'That's it'."
Nada is now 40, and found out about surgical hymen restoration just six years ago. She married and had two children. Her wedding night was a stressful ordeal. "I didn't sleep that night. I was crying," she says. "I was very scared but he didn't suspect anything."
It's a secret that Nada - which is not her real name - will carry to her grave. "I am ready to hide it until death," she says. "Only God will know about it."
But it's not only the older generation that subscribes to traditional views about sex before marriage, when it comes to choosing a wife.
Noor is a trendy professional who works in Damascus. He's fairly representative of young Syrian men in a secular society. But although Noor says he believes in equality for women, underneath the liberal facade lies a deep-rooted conservatism.
"I know girls who went through this restoration and they were caught out on their wedding night by their husbands," he says. "They realised they weren't virgins. Even if society accepts such a thing, I would still refuse to marry her."
Muslim clerics are quick to point out that the virginity issue is not about religion. "We should remember that when people wait for the virgin's blood to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions," says Syrian cleric, Sheikh Mohamad Habash. "This is not related to Shariah law."
Christian communities in the Middle East are often just as firm in their belief that women should be virgins when they marry.
Arab writer and social commentator, Sana Al Khayat believes the whole issue has much to with the notion of "control".
"If she's a virgin, she doesn't have any way of comparing . If she's been with other men, then she has experience. Having experience makes women stronger."
It may be the 21st Century but the issue of virginity in Arab culture can still be a matter of life and death, especially for women like Sonia and Nada.
And while hymen repair may be a quick fix, it can't reconcile centuries of ingrained tradition with the attitudes of modern society.
http//news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8641099.stm
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that's pretty sad..
how could they live with the guilt of deception? just goes to show how the world works.. that people can't forgive that people can't amend, that people must hide. I agree their past is between them and God though i don't think they need to go and spend thousands just to be dignified by the community
"virginity certificates" i didn't even know such a thing existed S
Muslim clerics are quick to point out that the virginity issue is not about religion. "We should remember that when people wait for the virgin's blood to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions," says Syrian cleric, Sheikh Mohamad Habash. "This is not related to Shariah law.
At least someone has half a brain. sad how cultural traditions are more powerful and circulate above religion, so much so that the social discourse revolves around cultural practices rather than ethical considerations or justice..
another thing what if a girls hymen isn't intact and she is a virgin? (which is possible for the ignorant who don't know) bleeding isn't necessarily the most accurate indication.. so is it not possible that women mislead men into thinking all women must bleed in their first sexual experience?
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another thing what if a girls hymen isn't intact and she is a virgin? (which is possible for the ignorant who don't know) bleeding isn't necessarily the most accurate indication.. so is it not possible that women mislead men into thinking all women must bleed in their first sexual experience?
Well, it is a fact that a certain percentage of women does not bleed at all, but sadly many people are not aware of this.
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Like a virgin!
Rafia Zakaria
While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity
Clerics in Egypt are in a quandary. A new device made by a Chinese company threatens to make every Egyptian woman who uses it, a virgin. The ?Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit? distributed by Gigimo costs about USD30 and is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing that they are virgins by producing a small amount of blood-like substance during intercourse.
The controversy began when a reporter from a Dutch radio station broadcast an Arabic translation of the Chinese advertisement for the product. Conservative members of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt?s Parliament have since asked for a ban on the device. Prominent Egyptian scholar Abdel Moati Bayoumi said anyone who imports the device should be punished, saying ?This product encourages illicit sexual relations; Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage.?
The controversy over virginity and the newly-provided ability to fake it, hits at the center of questions regarding the status of women in much of the Muslim world. Questions regarding female purity hold a crucial position in evaluating the worth of a woman and negotiating marriage contracts. In Egypt itself, thousands of women undergo hymen reconstruction surgery every year to fulfill preconditions of virginity for marriage and avoid bringing shame to families.
The practice of hymen reconstruction surgery has migrated with Arab populations to European countries like France where young Muslim women may undergo the half-hour surgery for a cost of about 2000 Euros. Others choose to go back to countries like Tunisia where they can get the surgery at lower cost. The surgery is legal in the European Union as well as in the United States where it falls in the category of elective surgery.
While surgery itself is less common in Pakistan, women are routinely abused, tortured and even killed if they are found to be non-virgins upon being wed. In several cases, young brides have been known to commit suicide rather than risk bringing shame to their families.
The issue of whether virginity constitutes the total worth of a woman upon marriage (rendering her otherwise unmarriageable) was dealt with recently in a courtroom in the French city of Lille where the judge initially ruled that a marriage between a Muslim man and a woman could be annulled because the bride had lied about her virginity.
A French appeals court then took up the issue of whether virginity was ?an essential quality of a woman? and ended up reversing the previous decision that had decreed lying about virginity to be grounds for fraud that would justify annulment. Of course, the outcome of the case would have been markedly different under Islamic law where deception regarding the virginity of the bride would result both in an annulment of the marriage and a repudiation of the dower.
Expectedly, as the news clips from Egypt amply illustrate, much of the clerical debate over the device has focused on the fact that it allows women to fake and flout the theological precept prescribing a prohibition on pre-marital sexual relations. No argument is provided for the fact that the male involved may also have come to the marriage without proof of virginity, which is equally theologically culpable but less easily verified. The assumption is that women?s virginity must necessarily be verifiable hence necessitating the ban on the Chinese virginity gadget while male virginity can conveniently be glossed over.
Equally sexist are attempts to justify the concern over women?s virginity as motivated by ensuring the sexual purity of society in general since it ignores the reality that every pre- or extra-marital heterosexual act by definition involves two parties, one male and one female, which are both equally responsible for their actions.
The fact is, in Egypt, as in a majority of Muslim countries, the onus of protecting a society?s delusions of purity and piety are placed solely and singularly on the shoulders of women. In ensuring that virgins are venerated and non-virgins vilified, social constructions of good and bad women are enforced in a society where the value of a woman is little else than her ability to breed sons, please her husband and be a good housekeeper. The myth that is continually forwarded is that all those women who are not virgins are somehow dirty, impure and unworthy of marriage. No consideration is given to the fact that the majority of these women may be widows, divorcees or victims of sexual assault. In other words, male complicity in reducing women to a non-virgin status is completely ignored in the whole discussion.
Because of this, thousands of widows, divorcees and rape victims in countries like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are forced to live lives at the very margins of social acceptability. Not only can they not expect to be married again, they are further dealt the burden of being somehow morally compromised simply because they are no longer the pure virgins venerated as brides. Examples from Islamic history that suggest otherwise, for instance, the notable fact that the first marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) was to a widow are given short shrift and virtually ignored.
It is interesting indeed, that the device in question that provides Muslim women with some semblance of empowerment against the strictures of proving their purity has been made in China. Indeed, it brings to focus the vast disparity between nations like China, who have put their women to work and hence harnessed 51% of an unused labor force to become a manufacturing super power and countries like Pakistan and Egypt who are still squabbling over inanities that necessitate a device like the Artificial Hymen Kit.
While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity.
http//www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2009\10\10\story_10-10-2009_pg3_3
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Are you saying that sex before marriage is from past and we shouldn't punish her ? It is Zania in religion the punishment is lashing her and traditions will not lashe her but it will make her suffer by no one accepts her .
And by the way men are now aware of the plastic surgery of the hymens of in the organs of women and they know the difference . as the proverb says
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Are you saying that sex before marriage is from past and we shouldn't punish her ?
That is not the issue here. You missed the point.
And by the way men are now aware of the plastic surgery of the hymens of in the organs of women and they know the difference .
It is not possible for a man -- particularly one who never had sex before -- to detect a "difference".
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That is not the issue here. You missed the point.
No, this post was for sarah, she said that sex before marriage is from past .
It is not possible for a man -- particularly one who never had sex before -- to detect a "difference".
No, don't worry we are going to learn how to detect the difference .
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No, don't worry we are going to learn how to detect the difference .
Nonsense.
Besides, even if that was possible -- you would only be able to detect the difference between a real and a fake hymen, if you know what a real one is like. If a man knows that, he obviously has had sex before, so has no right whatsoever to complain about his wife not being a virgin.
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MUFTI'S 'HYMEN FATWA' CAUSES SHOCK WAVES AMONG SCHOLARS
CAIRO Reconstructive hymen surgery for women who lost their virginity before marriage is halal (religiously permissible), said Aly Gomaa, the Grand Mufti of Egypt.
Gomaa, the highest authority with the power to issue a fatwa (religious edict), appeared the popular terrestrial Channel Two?s talk show El Beit Beitek, where he condoned the controversial fatwa, released by Soad Saleh, the ex-dean of the faculty of Islamic studies at Al-Azhar University and noted scholar.
Shiekh Khaled El Gindy, an Al-Azhar scholar and member of the Higher Council of Islamic Studies told The Daily Star Egypt that he agrees with the new fatwa.
"Islam never differentiates between men and women, so it is not rational for us to think that God has placed a sign to indicate the virginity of women without having a similar sign to indicate the virginity of men," El Gindy said.
"Any man who is concerned about his prospective wife?s hymen should first provide a proof that he himself is virgin," he added.
El Gindy voiced his full support for Gomaa.
Not only did Gomaa acknowledge the fatwa but asked women who will undergo the contentious surgery not to tell their future spouses about it, since this is not a question of honesty.
"If God wants us to know everything about each other, He would have given us the ability to read each others' minds, so why did he not do so? Perhaps maybe someone would have a wrong idea about you now but will change it later," Gomaa said.
Even more shocking to many observers, Gomaa said that if a married woman had sexual intercourse with another man but truly regretted her actions and asked God for forgiveness, she should not tell her husband.
"According to Sharia, if a husband knew that his wife had sexual intercourse with anyone else, he should divorce her, so by not telling him she would be protecting her home and her life," he explained.
The fatwa has led to much controversy within Al-Azhar and Egyptian society as a whole.
In Upper Egypt honor crimes are still committed. If a woman loses her virginity out of wedlock, she is considered a big shame on everyone and deserves to die.
In response to such ideas, El Gindy told The Daily Star Egypt that, "Islam does not care for the feelings of ignorant people, just as the law does not protect the idiots."
http//www.dailystaregypt.com/article.aspx?ArticleID=5719
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Well, it is a fact that a certain percentage of women does not bleed at all, but sadly many people are not aware of this.
yeh can you imagine people with traditional/cultural mindset they'd think shes unchaste S
No, this post was for sarah, she said that sex before marriage is from past .
No, don't worry we are going to learn how to detect the difference .
you missed my point, a person's past is between them and God, of course they should get the consequence of their actions. Though they shouldn't have to result into doing surgery or whatever. No one is perfect and if men or women expect perfection then they're in for disappointment. she or he should be open enough to say they were in a relationship before if they can't trust a person to respect and look over their past then how can they wish to continue a relationship? i don't know but if it makes them happy that their significant other is happy with some ideology while holding a lie.. good luck to them.
A person is what they are today and now, not yesterday and before. people change, past is past. i'm not advocating sex before marriage.
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Are you saying that sex before marriage is from past and we shouldn't punish her ? It is Zania in religion the punishment is lashing her and traditions will not lashe her but it will make her suffer by no one accepts her .
And by the way men are now aware of the plastic surgery of the hymens of in the organs of women and they know the difference . as the proverb says
Whoever calls a woman a "Zania" and does not produce four eye witnesses, he is condemned for ever as a LIAR.
http//www.haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/003.%20Aale%20Imran/03.92-65.gif
And when such people committed an illicit sexual act, for the first time, or wronged their selves, they recalled/remembered Allah and for this reason sought pardon for their respective sins; since/and who is there who could forgive sins except Allah. And they do not tie themselves/make it habit/repetitive action with what illicit sexual act they had done; and they know
http//www.haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/003.%20Aale%20Imran/temp09%203.136a.gif
They are the people whose recompense/reward from their Sustainer Lord is forgivenessChapter3
Non presence of "hymen" is not necessarily because of being non-virgin. Many factors and reasons are there for its absence.
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yeh can you imagine people with traditional/cultural mindset they'd think shes unchaste S
I guess that happens quite often. nope
Obviously, the only solution is education, paricularly a proper sex education. But how to go about that in societies where many people are illiterate, or conservatives are trying hard to discourage it?
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education would be the number one solution.. maybe it's up to people to discuss things with prominent figures? like the sheikh for example and they can spread the knowledge around.. i couldn't imagine having conversations about such matters with my parents lol they might think wrong S
schools here send home permission notes if it's ok for their children to get sex education. i remember not going but later in highschool everyone got the run down.. schools hold a useful medium but in poorer societies not everyone goes to school.. people can spread knowledge through peers but it's a tough one..
radio/magazine/newspapers might help
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yeh can you imagine people with traditional/cultural mindset they'd think shes unchaste S
Yes, I agree with and I did understand your point, but we are talking about the one (she or he) who already made a sin .
I know that traditionalist are so hard because they don't know that some women are without (the part that bleeds).
you missed my point, a person's past is between them and God, of course they should get the consequence of their actions. Though they shouldn't have to result into doing surgery or whatever. No one is perfect and if men or women expect perfection then they're in for disappointment. she or he should be open enough to say they were in a relationship before if they can't trust a person to respect and look over their past then how can they wish to continue a relationship? i don't know but if it makes them happy that their significant other is happy with some ideology while holding a lie.. good luck to them.
I agree with you and I didn't say the opposite and of course I didn't missed your point, I just pointed out that some punishement of the one who already made a sin is not from the past, she must told her fiancee that she was in a fair before and she repents, if he will accept her, fine this is our aims , if he do not accept her, fine as we know that marriage is kissmat and nassibe . My aim is not to contradict with you or whatever you might called it, I just made a point.
A person is what they are today and now, not yesterday and before. people change, past is past. i'm not advocating sex before marriage.
Yes, I'm with you in this point. If a woman or a man wants to live in a lie, fine this is her/his life, but as they said some doors shouldn't be opened .
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Whoever calls a woman a "Zania" and does not produce four eye witnesses, he is condemned for ever as a LIAR.
I'm not calling anyone "Zania" as you claimed . We're talking about "she" and she can be anyone. And I'm not waiting for you to show me the punishement of calling anyone without proofs.
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I'm not calling anyone "Zania" as you claimed .
Not you, but those people who accuse a woman of not being a virgin because she is not bleeding.
They are ignorant in regards to female bodies, and they are ignorant as to what the Qur'an says on the issue. nope
What do you think could be a possible solution for this problem? Any ideas? What do you say if you are faced with those misconceptions, for example by male friends? Do you educate them about the matter?
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Not you, but those people who accuse a woman of not being a virgin because she is not bleeding.
They are ignorant in regards to female bodies, and they are ignorant as to what the Qur'an says on the issue. nope
What do you think could be a possible solution for this problem? Any ideas? What do you say if you are faced with those misconceptions, for example by male friends? Do you educate them about the matter?
Perhaps majority of men are not even aware of there being a delicate membrane called hymen on the "recepticle" of unmarried women. If someone finds someone who is curious about the virginity aspect of his newly wed wife he should be told that there is no litmus test for such thing and he should trust and believe in the chastity of his wife and should never enquire about it. The honor and dignity of women should never be compromised.
While discussing with hadith mongers who think that one can't live without hadith, I put to some of them, close friends, the question whether they know how many are the apertures in front of one's wife and which one is the true "recepticle" and whether there is some hadith which tells you to make use of which of the two apertures, nine out of ten married for years men did not know that there are two openings. Then I tell them that Qur'aan even tells about this delicate and the most private matter, with advice to them to get rid of conjecture mongers and to seek guidance from Qur'aan about every aspect of their life.
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Not you, but those people who accuse a woman of not being a virgin because she is not bleeding.
They are ignorant in regards to female bodies, and they are ignorant as to what the Qur'an says on the issue. nope
I agree that people don't know about these situation of women who they are not bleeding from creation. And this kind of women will suffer in a traditional area and this is not just in islam as you trying to say this is in Mexic too and in some parts in italy in the south, in india , in pakistan ..etc . About Muslims world I think they are aware of this situation of this kind of women but the illitare people are the problem not the educated Muslims .
What do you think could be a possible solution for this problem?
I didn't like a program (in the first time but later I found it good) that has been done in our national TV where they brought some women are not virgin from creation and they have made it clear that some women are not virgin and people now know this thing.
Any ideas?
Yes, educate people about the matter as our national TV did .
What do you say if you are faced with those misconceptions, for example by male friends? Do you educate them about the matter?
First of all I prefer forget the past , just to make it clear for you (I think you have a bad idea about me).
Second of all I will show anyone his misconceptions where they stand . Because the one who judge is God not him. And that if she repent and you repent, why you will ask for issues that she or he repented .
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And this kind of women will suffer in a traditional area and this is not just in islam as you trying to say this is in Mexic too and in some parts in italy in the south, in india , in pakistan ..etc .
This was NOT what I was trying to say. Please stop putting words into my mouth.
This is a board about Islam, so naturally many of the issues being discussed are about things related to traditions or circumstances in Muslim countries. It is not necessary to put a disclaimer under each and every post stating that this or that issue does not only happen in Muslim countries!
I didn't like a program (in the first time but later I found it good) that has been done in our national TV where they brought some women are not virgin from creation and they have made it clear that some women are not virgin and people now know this thing.
Interesting. TV might be a good method because this way you can reach people who can't or won't read.
About Muslims world I think they are aware of this situation of this kind of women but the illitare people are the problem not the educated Muslims .
I agree that lack of education plays a role and ignorance is more widespread among people who are illiterate or have no access to proper education / information, but it is a sad fact that even many "educated" people do not have a clue about many basic things, such as the lack of bleeding.
Secondly -- part of the problem are the glaring double standards being applied to men and women. If men wouldn't insist their bride is a virgin although they themselves have sexual experience, there would be less need for women to worry about bleeding and hymen restoration and all that stuff. And this sort of attitude is found in all classes and among people with all levels of education. So the issue is not only about education, it's also about patriarchal tendencies in a society.
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While discussing with hadith mongers who think that one can't live without hadith, I put to some of them, close friends, the question whether they know how many are the apertures in front of one's wife and which one is the true "recepticle" and whether there is some hadith which tells you to make use of which of the two apertures, nine out of ten married for years men did not know that there are two openings.
I almost didn't ask this question but I have to, for clarity's sake...which two apertures in front of one's wife are you talking about exactly?