i want to stop wearing the head-scarf/hijab, need support!
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I'm not sure who warned you before Jafar but is it too much to ask to post such pictures with links and an accurate description as to what the link contains? There are people who are accessing the site from work, or people who feel offended by being forced to see someone's breasts in passing regardless of how "beautiful" they may be. I don't see how one can gauge a beautiful heart/modesty by a picture or why "culture shock" should be force sprung on others. Give people options and describe accurately what is in the link is all.
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wow, i just logged back in and found so many beautiful replies! thank you all SO much for your input, for taking time to think along and express your thoughts, and for making me feel welcome, i really appreciate it )
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Brush your teeth because you wouldn't believe how blessed we are to have healthy teeth.haha, thanks for the advice, alen! i do fully realise the importance of proper dental care, each my brushing session alone takes more than 10 minutes, i guess that's why i'm always late p
@justamuslim - thank you for sharing your touching story! and so unbelievable that you, and ayisha, have experienced groping like that, by muslims, no less! wow
One of the sisters from the mosque tells me that God will not accept my prayers because part of my ears were not covered. You have the Koran here where God says seek strength and patience in prayers, and God is not going to help me in my time of difficulties because part of my ear was not covered!
these kind of sayings are absurd, angering and ignorant!! i have also heard my share of similar stuff.. like "you have to place your hands on the knees, not on your lap, otherwise your prayer will not be accepted".
Welcome, princess. peace
Check out this thread
Taking off the hijab
thank you leyna, for pointing that thread out to me! i can really relate to sirius there.
Princess, once you get through the first few days of feeling naked you will be fine, as long as you're not naked of course ;D You have to do what you believe to be right no matter who disagrees with you and dont let anyone make you a hypocrite for their views on what is right.
very warm and supportive, thanks ayisha!! and thanks for explaining raaajah what i meant )
maybe try open up ideas to your husband? your discomfort etc? maybe slip in, I don't even understand why I wore it? or maybe change your scarf style so it shows more skin and eventually take it off?
yup, i'm in the process of explaining!
I'm not sure who warned you before Jafar but is it too much to ask to post such pictures with links and an accurate description as to what the link contains? There are people who are accessing the site from work, or people who feel offended by being forced to see someone's breasts in passing regardless of how "beautiful" they may be. I don't see how one can gauge a beautiful heart/modesty by a picture or why "culture shock" should be force sprung on others. Give people options and describe accurately what is in the link is all.
couldn't have said it better.
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Beautiful post!!
I was once been 'warned' by the moderator on posting this beautiful picture of beautiful lady with beautiful heart..
I post it again.. for the sake of 'education' and 'culture' shock..
As I disagree with the moderator's opinion on this issue and I don't see nothing wrong with the picture below.http//images.cdn.fotopedia.com/flickr-2559849453-image.jpg (NSFW)
A beautiful and modest papuan girl...
Wearing papuan's traditional dress and accessories..Salam / Peace
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
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hijab is not a muslim tradition. here's a copy of an excerpt from the book,
The Second Jewish Book of WHY by Alfred J. Kolatch
on page 53
Why do strictly Orthodox women keep their heads covered?
In biblical times women covered their heads with scarves or veils as a sign of a chastity and modesty. To expose a woman's hair was considered a humiliation (Numbers 51.
In early talmudic times, it became common practice for married women to keep their heads covered. Rabbi Sheshet said, "A woman's hair is sexually exciting." To be out of door with head uncovered was a serious breach of law and custom, and it constituted sufficeint grounds for a man to divorce his wife without being required to pay her any of the monies normally due upon divorce, as stipulated in the marriage contract.
To emphasize the importance of a woman keeping her head covered, the Talmud relates the story of a pious woman named Kimchit. Kimchit was a the mother of seven sons, each of whom became a High Priest. When asked why she thought she was blessed to have so many distinguished sons, she replied, "Because the beams (posts) of my house never saw my hair."
Today,, only ultra-Othrodox women keep their heads covedred at all times. Some wear a scarf (called a tichl in Yiddish); others wear wig (called a shaytl in Yiddish). -
However, some modern Muslim women feel that such covering is not important at all. It is a common misconception that all Muslim women dress the same. While many do cover their heads with head scarves, many don?t cover, and wear more westernized style clothing. Still clothing should be simple and not be meant to attract men or express vanity, according to the Qur?an.
Wearing head scarves is not simply a Muslim practice. Covering the head in temple in the Jewish tradition is equally important. Hassidic Jewish women shave their heads upon marriage and wear wigs. In the Christian tradition, until recently, it was thought to be very vain to not wear hats or head scarves when attending church. All these traditions stress modesty, and elaborate hair styling, or even showing the hair is thought to be vain, which is a sin.
Just as in the Muslim world, many Christians no longer find it necessary to cover the hair. Many Jewish sects still require the head to be covered by all men, and by women as a sign of respect and modesty. However, some Jewish sects have a more lax dress code.
While wearing head scarves in Muslim tradition may be thought of by many Westerners as oppressive, it is often simply a traditional part of local dress. Further, unless one lives in a restrictive, theocratic country, wearing head scarves is optional. Many Muslim women also find it saves time to don a scarf rather than to style the hair. They argue that women who must spend so much time before a mirror each morning to style their hair are experiencing oppression by fashion dictates. yeah
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I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
That says a lot about their mindset though.
Seriously -- anyone who associates taking off a headscarf with nudity needs his head checked. hypno
Many Muslim women also find it saves time to don a scarf rather than to style the hair. They argue that women who must spend so much time before a mirror each morning to style their hair are experiencing oppression by fashion dictates. yeah
Who says that women "must" spend a lot of time styling their hair each morning? That is just ridiculous.
The same people who propagate hijab usually also say that a woman should "beautify herself for her husband". So at the end of the day she would have to "style her hair" regardless of whether she's wearing hijab or not.
My hair is about waist-long and I don't spend much time styling it at all.  
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Peace Princess and Welcome
I did stop covering my hair in a very conservative Muslim community not too long ago. As of now I am shifting between covering in kind of way and not covering at all. It's not been long but it's not been easy so far. I've been getting some outright rude comments and generally being made to feel extremely bad about this decision and that is without explaining that I don't take the headscarf to be a divine instruction - the rudeness is even when I wear some sort of material on my head. Putting it on wasn't nearly as bad as taking it off.
I'm guessing right now I'm just probably miffed because today has been the worst day so far about it even though I did use some form of cover. Surprisingly one of my friends has been very supportive and she's helped me a lot today. My problems have probably only arisen because I'm an active member of the Sunni community here so for me to do this is quite shocking. It's nothing I wasn't expecting from these particular people though.
If you're actively involved in the Sunni community then I'd advise you to just prepare for a bit of harshness. I don't know how conservative men in Puerto Rico are but I'd also say prepare for some unwanted attention if you don't wear a wedding ring. I'd also say, try to get comfortable with the scarf before you remove it. If you can love it even though you don't feel it as a divine command then I think you can gain back some self-esteem in the meantime while you're not ready to take it off. Lastly, best wishes! Hope all goes well
Peace peace
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remember, the jews came up with rules and laws that had nothing to do with torah. if you want to cover your head out of tradition, that's your right but just be careful and better be 100% sure when you attribute a thing to God. I sure would not want to mess around with God. And God makes it crystal clear there's punishment if you impute lies about God. and at the end, each soul has to answer to God.
by the way, God does NOT make a big deal about covering the hair. and if you do and walk around with this judgmental attitude turning off or away a person from islam, then you have to carrry that burden on your shoulders.
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Quote from Ayisha on Yesterday at 093907 PM
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements some times, which i have seen like "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Sorry Princess (Rani) but the top most excuses given for removing the scarf or Hijab in this forum by some ladies who think that some males are...
- It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab?
- I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship
- Islam is in the heart, I don?t need to ?show off? that I am a Muslim, it is a personal relationship between God and me.
You said that Ayisha has explained to me well, infact she has explained nothing, she is astrayed, our sister is astrayed, but it is not her fault, it is very difficult to get rid of the culture you have been for years and years and still are living in it, It is same thing as The people of Mecca said to Muhammad, what ever you say is the truth but...this is but is still there
The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.
The best way is to read the Quran yourself if you are a Muslim, I repeat, and if you thinks it allows you to roam around as you will,be happy, But if it demands some Modesty in shape of practical deeds
In order to obtain salvation, a person must combine faith and action, belief and practice. If it would have been personal relationship between you and GOd than what the need for thousands of Messangers, prophets, and books.But still if you insist that you should take advice of some one other than Quran than the best would be the ones, who were not wearing Hijab before and are wearing now, just ask them why?
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Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Nice demonstration of Slippery Slope. When you have a LOGICAL argument please come back and see us. Stick to your water slides for now.
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
They are probably a little 'frustrated'...
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Firstly welcome to the forum.
As a guy I don't feel I have much to say on this. But heres my 2 cents.If you believe God ordered you to wear it, then I strongly advise you to wear it.
If you don't believe its an order then wear it if you feel like it. Either way, people should respect your choice. If it will cause problems by taking it off, then thats a perfectly good reason to keep it on (if you choose to).
If you are unsure, wear it until you make up your mind. Mainly because you don't want to go through all the stress, problems etc. if you don't even know for sure. Study the Quran's verses on the issue before doing anything drastic.
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Raaajah, what's up with your response?
there are many reasons why people choose to wear the head covering and why many choose to take it off.
there is no indication of it being a high form of worship other than your opinion and possibly opinions of some ulema.
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Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements some times, which i have seen like "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Just the beginning? You still have not said why you disagree with these verses of Allah
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.
I have asked you numerous times but you seem to go blind at those points.
Sorry Princess (Rani) but the top most excuses given for removing the scarf or Hijab in this forum by some ladies who think that some males are...
- It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab?
- I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship
- Islam is in the heart, I don?t need to ?show off? that I am a Muslim, it is a personal relationship between God and me.
You dont think it is a personal relationship between a person and God then thats your view and your problem, if you prefer to follow the majority like a sheep that too is your view and your problem, if you prefer to judge others by what they wear or believe instead of correcting your own judgemental rude attitude that too is your view and your problem. There are many things that led me to have the courage to stop wearing it but the reason was that it is not from God but from people like you that are not happy with Gods word and need to add what you feel He forgot or twist what He said to make it mean something else, just as you twist words you read here.
You said that Ayisha has explained to me well, infact she has explained nothing, she is astrayed, our sister is astrayed, but it is not her fault, it is very difficult to get rid of the culture you have been for years and years and still are living in it, It is same thing as The people of Mecca said to Muhammad, what ever you say is the truth but...this is but is still there
Now you have decided I have strayed? Are you the new god in the flesh? You have strayed far from Quran and are now judging me? You are so smothered in your culture that makes you think because you are a man you can judge me as a woman and claim what I should wear while at the same time thinking no scarf means naked or bikini?
I do not live in my culture, I live in a Muslim culture and have for over 3 years where it has reinforced what I saw as hypocrisy among muslims first hand. I have never seen hypocrisy like this in my own country the wicked west that all muslims dream of living in. I still praise Allah and thank Him daily that I found Islam before I found any Muslims! If I hadnt had that to hold onto in these past 8 years knowing that what I see from Muslims is not Islam I found in Quran and meeting people like you and the 'muslims' I have been in contact with I would surely have given up a long time ago.
The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.
Show the verse! There is NOT ONE. You and your hypocritical mass have added this as your desire, there is nowhere in Quran Allah tells to cover the hair, nowhere, and you will try to twist words to make it so just as the Jews and Christians have done and you follow that form. According to Allah PIETY is the best hijab, not a scarf! You judge a woman that would be modestly dressed but not covering her hair as naked, you judge her as 'astrayed' and now claim it as the high form of worship from Allah! How dare you so boldly claim something that Allah did not say? Who are you to dare to think He forgot to add this MAJOR form of worship in Quran? Get thee behind me SATAN!
The best way is to read the Quran yourself if you are a Muslim, I repeat, and if you thinks it allows you to roam around as you will,be happy, But if it demands some Modesty in shape of practical deeds
In order to obtain salvation, a person must combine faith and action, belief and practice. If it would have been personal relationship between you and GOd than what the need for thousands of Messangers, prophets, and books.
Now that is a joke coming from you. He sent the messengers to tell us the message so we would have the books, not to worship the messenger claiming everything he said and did was from God in some secret form including how to pee! You have showed in your actions of immediately comparing no hijab to being naked that is how your belief works. You have shown your action and practice by judging a woman for taking off what she believes is not in Quran as 'hijab' and condeming her to 'this is the first step' to walking about naked. Who is the one stuck in his culture following the beliefs of his fathers even though they follow nothing but conjecture?But still if you insist that you should take advice of some one other than Quran than the best would be the ones, who were not wearing Hijab before and are wearing now, just ask them why?
she is not asking or taking advice she is asking support. As a former hijabi she already knows why some women choose it and so do I and any other woman that wore it! She has already said she knows it is not in Quran, so why ask women who will only claim it is by adding hadith to the verse?
Your problem raaaaaaaaaajah is that your mind is in the gutter. You see a woman without hijab and you immediately see an easy woman walking naked in the street having sex with any passer-by. Thats not your fault, its your cultural upbringing in how you have been trained to see women as objects that need to be covered from head to toe to save you from bad thoughts. If you have bad thoughts its obviously the womans fault for having and showing hair, this is what your fathers and brothers and uncles and the imams have told you, not your fault, never your fault as you are a man, cover the wicked woman up as there are more of them in hell for disobeying
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Actually, I find it quite irritating that any discussion about taking off hijab by women who just don't believe in it is quickly derailed by people who want to start the umpteenth discussion about whether hijab is obligatory or not. Please have some respect, guys, and take those arguments to other threads.
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rajaah - where in the Quran does God say wearing a 'hijab' as defined by men to mean headcover is a "high form of worship"?
careful brother as you will meet your creator one day and in God's presence you will be held accountable for your actions and deeds. and yes, I will ask you this question in front of God on that day when we all have to gather and you will have to answer.
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rajaah - where in the Quran does God say wearing a 'hijab' as defined by men to mean headcover is a "high form of worship"?
careful brother as you will meet your creator one day and in God's presence you will be held accountable for your actions and deeds. and yes, I will ask you this question in front of God on that day when we all have to gather and you will have to answer.
I warn you not to argue in front of God !! &