i want to stop wearing the head-scarf/hijab, need support!
-
Peace Princess and Welcome
I did stop covering my hair in a very conservative Muslim community not too long ago. As of now I am shifting between covering in kind of way and not covering at all. It's not been long but it's not been easy so far. I've been getting some outright rude comments and generally being made to feel extremely bad about this decision and that is without explaining that I don't take the headscarf to be a divine instruction - the rudeness is even when I wear some sort of material on my head. Putting it on wasn't nearly as bad as taking it off.
I'm guessing right now I'm just probably miffed because today has been the worst day so far about it even though I did use some form of cover. Surprisingly one of my friends has been very supportive and she's helped me a lot today. My problems have probably only arisen because I'm an active member of the Sunni community here so for me to do this is quite shocking. It's nothing I wasn't expecting from these particular people though.
If you're actively involved in the Sunni community then I'd advise you to just prepare for a bit of harshness. I don't know how conservative men in Puerto Rico are but I'd also say prepare for some unwanted attention if you don't wear a wedding ring. I'd also say, try to get comfortable with the scarf before you remove it. If you can love it even though you don't feel it as a divine command then I think you can gain back some self-esteem in the meantime while you're not ready to take it off. Lastly, best wishes! Hope all goes well
Peace peace
-
remember, the jews came up with rules and laws that had nothing to do with torah. if you want to cover your head out of tradition, that's your right but just be careful and better be 100% sure when you attribute a thing to God. I sure would not want to mess around with God. And God makes it crystal clear there's punishment if you impute lies about God. and at the end, each soul has to answer to God.
by the way, God does NOT make a big deal about covering the hair. and if you do and walk around with this judgmental attitude turning off or away a person from islam, then you have to carrry that burden on your shoulders.
-
Quote from Ayisha on Yesterday at 093907 PM
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements some times, which i have seen like "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Sorry Princess (Rani) but the top most excuses given for removing the scarf or Hijab in this forum by some ladies who think that some males are...
- It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab?
- I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship
- Islam is in the heart, I don?t need to ?show off? that I am a Muslim, it is a personal relationship between God and me.
You said that Ayisha has explained to me well, infact she has explained nothing, she is astrayed, our sister is astrayed, but it is not her fault, it is very difficult to get rid of the culture you have been for years and years and still are living in it, It is same thing as The people of Mecca said to Muhammad, what ever you say is the truth but...this is but is still there
The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.
The best way is to read the Quran yourself if you are a Muslim, I repeat, and if you thinks it allows you to roam around as you will,be happy, But if it demands some Modesty in shape of practical deeds
In order to obtain salvation, a person must combine faith and action, belief and practice. If it would have been personal relationship between you and GOd than what the need for thousands of Messangers, prophets, and books.But still if you insist that you should take advice of some one other than Quran than the best would be the ones, who were not wearing Hijab before and are wearing now, just ask them why?
-
Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Nice demonstration of Slippery Slope. When you have a LOGICAL argument please come back and see us. Stick to your water slides for now.
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
They are probably a little 'frustrated'...
-
Firstly welcome to the forum.
As a guy I don't feel I have much to say on this. But heres my 2 cents.If you believe God ordered you to wear it, then I strongly advise you to wear it.
If you don't believe its an order then wear it if you feel like it. Either way, people should respect your choice. If it will cause problems by taking it off, then thats a perfectly good reason to keep it on (if you choose to).
If you are unsure, wear it until you make up your mind. Mainly because you don't want to go through all the stress, problems etc. if you don't even know for sure. Study the Quran's verses on the issue before doing anything drastic.
peace -
Raaajah, what's up with your response?
there are many reasons why people choose to wear the head covering and why many choose to take it off.
there is no indication of it being a high form of worship other than your opinion and possibly opinions of some ulema.
-
Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements some times, which i have seen like "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Just the beginning? You still have not said why you disagree with these verses of Allah
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.
I have asked you numerous times but you seem to go blind at those points.
Sorry Princess (Rani) but the top most excuses given for removing the scarf or Hijab in this forum by some ladies who think that some males are...
- It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab?
- I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship
- Islam is in the heart, I don?t need to ?show off? that I am a Muslim, it is a personal relationship between God and me.
You dont think it is a personal relationship between a person and God then thats your view and your problem, if you prefer to follow the majority like a sheep that too is your view and your problem, if you prefer to judge others by what they wear or believe instead of correcting your own judgemental rude attitude that too is your view and your problem. There are many things that led me to have the courage to stop wearing it but the reason was that it is not from God but from people like you that are not happy with Gods word and need to add what you feel He forgot or twist what He said to make it mean something else, just as you twist words you read here.
You said that Ayisha has explained to me well, infact she has explained nothing, she is astrayed, our sister is astrayed, but it is not her fault, it is very difficult to get rid of the culture you have been for years and years and still are living in it, It is same thing as The people of Mecca said to Muhammad, what ever you say is the truth but...this is but is still there
Now you have decided I have strayed? Are you the new god in the flesh? You have strayed far from Quran and are now judging me? You are so smothered in your culture that makes you think because you are a man you can judge me as a woman and claim what I should wear while at the same time thinking no scarf means naked or bikini?
I do not live in my culture, I live in a Muslim culture and have for over 3 years where it has reinforced what I saw as hypocrisy among muslims first hand. I have never seen hypocrisy like this in my own country the wicked west that all muslims dream of living in. I still praise Allah and thank Him daily that I found Islam before I found any Muslims! If I hadnt had that to hold onto in these past 8 years knowing that what I see from Muslims is not Islam I found in Quran and meeting people like you and the 'muslims' I have been in contact with I would surely have given up a long time ago.
The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.
Show the verse! There is NOT ONE. You and your hypocritical mass have added this as your desire, there is nowhere in Quran Allah tells to cover the hair, nowhere, and you will try to twist words to make it so just as the Jews and Christians have done and you follow that form. According to Allah PIETY is the best hijab, not a scarf! You judge a woman that would be modestly dressed but not covering her hair as naked, you judge her as 'astrayed' and now claim it as the high form of worship from Allah! How dare you so boldly claim something that Allah did not say? Who are you to dare to think He forgot to add this MAJOR form of worship in Quran? Get thee behind me SATAN!
The best way is to read the Quran yourself if you are a Muslim, I repeat, and if you thinks it allows you to roam around as you will,be happy, But if it demands some Modesty in shape of practical deeds
In order to obtain salvation, a person must combine faith and action, belief and practice. If it would have been personal relationship between you and GOd than what the need for thousands of Messangers, prophets, and books.
Now that is a joke coming from you. He sent the messengers to tell us the message so we would have the books, not to worship the messenger claiming everything he said and did was from God in some secret form including how to pee! You have showed in your actions of immediately comparing no hijab to being naked that is how your belief works. You have shown your action and practice by judging a woman for taking off what she believes is not in Quran as 'hijab' and condeming her to 'this is the first step' to walking about naked. Who is the one stuck in his culture following the beliefs of his fathers even though they follow nothing but conjecture?But still if you insist that you should take advice of some one other than Quran than the best would be the ones, who were not wearing Hijab before and are wearing now, just ask them why?
she is not asking or taking advice she is asking support. As a former hijabi she already knows why some women choose it and so do I and any other woman that wore it! She has already said she knows it is not in Quran, so why ask women who will only claim it is by adding hadith to the verse?
Your problem raaaaaaaaaajah is that your mind is in the gutter. You see a woman without hijab and you immediately see an easy woman walking naked in the street having sex with any passer-by. Thats not your fault, its your cultural upbringing in how you have been trained to see women as objects that need to be covered from head to toe to save you from bad thoughts. If you have bad thoughts its obviously the womans fault for having and showing hair, this is what your fathers and brothers and uncles and the imams have told you, not your fault, never your fault as you are a man, cover the wicked woman up as there are more of them in hell for disobeying
-
Actually, I find it quite irritating that any discussion about taking off hijab by women who just don't believe in it is quickly derailed by people who want to start the umpteenth discussion about whether hijab is obligatory or not. Please have some respect, guys, and take those arguments to other threads.
-
rajaah - where in the Quran does God say wearing a 'hijab' as defined by men to mean headcover is a "high form of worship"?
careful brother as you will meet your creator one day and in God's presence you will be held accountable for your actions and deeds. and yes, I will ask you this question in front of God on that day when we all have to gather and you will have to answer.
-
rajaah - where in the Quran does God say wearing a 'hijab' as defined by men to mean headcover is a "high form of worship"?
careful brother as you will meet your creator one day and in God's presence you will be held accountable for your actions and deeds. and yes, I will ask you this question in front of God on that day when we all have to gather and you will have to answer.
I warn you not to argue in front of God !! &
-
Ayisha - the prophets were harassed, ridiculed, ostracized, told to be crazy, had death threats all because of their beliefs and for following God. and not a single one of them buckled to societal pressures. it is not easy to stand up to your family,community, long held traditions/beliefs, ways of life.
At the end, God will explain to us of what we were in variance and each one of us will be shown the truth. And the truth will exonerate those who uphold it.
we each can have our perception of what we believe is the 'truth' about hijab but if we use the words of God to put down or hurt or make life harder for others then our reckoning is with God - who I sure wouldn't want to mess around with. if you are not understanding of other's situations/circumstances, well I like to be there when your soul pleads God for understanding.
-
Study the Quran's verses on the issue before doing anything drastic.
Wouldn't it be so kind of you to help a sister and study the Quran yourself and find the verse that "commands" all women to wear a headscarf?? I think you'll be earning as much "reward" as any hijab-wearing sisters. That is "if" you can find such a verse that you're so confident exists in the Quran.
-
Rasulhamsa - If someone tells me that wearing a hijab is the highest form of worship, certainly I have the right to hold that person accountable for what he said. I am not in agrument with rajaah. He made the statement and I am asking him where does God say that hijab is the highest form of worship. I ask him now in this forum (by the way God is aso a member of this forum aware of every word being uttered by everyone of us) and also in the life hereafter in the presence of God.
It is God who gave us the Koran and said He is the explainer. In this life I ask God for explanation and in the life hereafter God will explain everything to us all and what we were in variance. I will ask God - did you say that wearing hijab is the highest form of worship? rajaah said hijab is the highest form of worship - is it true and I will ask rajaah as I am asking him now did God say that?
That's all. No argument.
-
Peace Princess and Welcome
Surprisingly one of my friends has been very supportive and she's helped me a lot today.
I think it is important for a person to be her or himself at all times. Putting up a show is destructive for oneself. And submitting to pressure may be understandable but it is not healthy either for psychological wellbeing. Your friend is a token that being yourself you stand a lot to gain. Just do not let out the impression that whatever "people" says holds any weight for you when your mind is made up and you haven't asked their input. They will end up taking you as you are and as you appear, since you appear what you are. Do not get angre, just let it pass aithout comment and keep doing what you want to do.
I doubt that messages like those of some gentlement are even worth answering. Let them struggle with their problems without any side scape from our part.
Salaam
-
Princess - take God as your best friend and He will never let you down. Will never betray you. Seek God for support and help and advice.
Remember always that God is most understanding, but don't expect people to be understanding in the community and within your own family - this includes your husband. Headcover is also considered a sign of respect/obedience to your husband. And your husband may not like how his friends/family will talk about him. When you have family/friends over for dinner or gathering, your husband may feel embarrassed having a wife who doesn't wear a headcover unless he is the kind of husband who has the attitude this is my wife, i care about her and her feelings more than what anyone says.
May God help and guide you, sis.
-
Peace,
Respect.You know what?
I'm gonna let each sister (and brother) study The Qur'an all by herself and let her find that ahijab is a command from God.
If she finds it, we'll discuss it, if she doesn't find it, we'll discuss it. Either way, let's not prohibit something that God didn't prohibit and also let's not allow something that God didn't allow. God knows best, we are learning, God willing.Glory be to God.
Peace. -
Peace princess and all,
Princess, welcome to the forum and always remember our God is Most Gracious and Most Merciful, for those who yearn to be close to Him. These are the few verses from the Holy Book, God?s guidance for believing men and women on the topic of clothing the body. Hard for me to find ?headscarf? within the verses.
Yusuf Ali
(726)
O ye Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover your shame, as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness,- that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition!
(731)
O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer eat and drink But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.
(732)
Say Who hath forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allah, which He hath produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, for sustenance? Say They are, in the life of this world, for those who believe, purely for them on the Day of Judgment. Thus do We explain the signs in detail for those who understand.
(733)
Say the things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are shameful deeds, whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah, for which He hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.Yusuf Ali
(2430)
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty that will make for greater purity for them And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
(2431)
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.Yusuf Ali
(3359)
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad) that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.I wonder why, whenever a discussion of clothing come up, not just in this forum, the so called intelligent man with their tiny mind, always forgot to mention (2430), thus they forgot (731-33) and especially (726). Yet whatever they do in their everyday life, they always said, ?In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful?. If any man follows God alone, firstly he must be gracious and merciful too not a fraud.
When comes to clothing our body, God teach us modesty for both man and woman, and that is most convenient for us to wear. If a man gets turn on just by looking at beautiful eyes, beautiful hair, beautiful lips, mouth and teeth and beautiful facial skin, he absolutely want to change his address.. to Middle Earth of South Pole, Antarctica. Guys (esp. with tiny mind), these are all God?s creations and God?s gifts for the women, praise God for all His creations! Loose tongue saying this is ?halal? and this is ?haram? will only get you transfer to the Lodge of Hell.
What is forbidden is mention in (733). And if anyone is still in doubt or weak, ?And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss?.
Peace princess, I am sure modesty is second nature to you, then from the above verses you have nothing to worry about. What is important for every believing man and woman is 726, the raiment of righteousness, - that is the best. Sorry for the lengthy post.
Always trust God, be sincere and faithful to Him alone.
Peace all.