Modesty and Women in Islam
-
Brother Rashidala
I have a question, not meant to challenge but it is more of a curious question....
Why would like to be identified as a muslim?
You ARE a muslim, no doubt about it, and you are very brave, not many people here (me included) have the guts to use a picture of themselves as profile pic.
My outer exterior is probably the furthest away from the muslim. I am covered in tattoos, clean shaven....
me too bro laughI agree though, why would one need to make the effort to be identified as a muslim? I did in my early days in UK and bro rashidala is right I had people wanting to know and understand what it was all about, especially as 911 still had the dust settling. Here in Egypt thought wearing hijab made me blend in a little but I am still a white woman and in this heat I am a red faced white woman with streaks of sweat. It identified me as a muslim but it didn't stop men thinking white woman = easy meat and I was groped more wearing it than I have been not wearing it.
Personally I don't care if I am 'identified' as a muslim or not, it's no ones business and if they judge me on how they see me that's their problem.
If you saw me you would probably ask me where I parked my Harley...but I am still a muslim, and even though people cannot physically see I am a muslim that they can still see the way I protect my family, love my wife, respect my parents and kindness towards my neigbours.
I understand what you mean, but I think your illustration cannot be a general view of every culture? Got an example for you from my life. I am a sailor. On the vessels I work there are a lot of men but also women. If the women would act and speak in a way that could be considered "good" muslimah they wouldn't survive many minutes. Their personality would not fit the community on the vessel and would create a probable breakdown of the social structure. Having a "womanly" woman by your side in a storm does not exactly help you, it is more of a burden. So the female sailor develops a very hard exterior and can speak, walk, and talk the way a sailor does. Does that mean that they are "bad to the bone"? Does it mean that peer pressure or the society will change their modesty? No, of course not.
If the male sailor would act towards a female sailor the way he would act towards a woman at home, his wife or sister, the social structure of the ship would also break down. A sailor cannot change his manners towards another because of difference in gender, it doesn't work.....He needs to see a sailor, not the woman.Now that would probably be one of the jobs a muslim woman cannot do, according to hadithist as she would be with men and have to be like the men.
Good on them and you for doing this wonderful job though! God keep you safe on His waters peace -
Peace
The way I understand it, the primary meaning of modesty has to do with being moderate. This should therefore come through in our dress code if we see modesty as a requirement in the way we dress.
If a man or woman considers another inappropriately, it is not the fault of the person that is the subject of such inappropriateness. Each one of us must control ourselves and not exceed the limit ourselves. We must determine this for ourselves. Whether or not we are honest in this self determination is a matter for God to judge. Therefore I think that unless I am trying to determine how I should be modest (in dress or otherwise), I shouldn't concern myself with how anyone else should be moderate in their life. They have the freedom to choose whatever they want in life, just as I do.
The only time steps need to be taken is when someone encroaches on the right of another in a manner that doesn't give the latter any choice in the matter. An example would be murder.
Imraan
-
Peace, rashidala
Not sure if this is your intention, but your post, although speaking about a women's issue, sounds as if is addressed solely to men. You keep speaking about "our women", what "they" should do, how "they" should be dressed and behaved etc.
Sorry, but that somehow bothers me. Why don't you address women directly and ask them how they feel about the issue, instead of asking for men's opinions?
I agree pretty much with BornAgain's post. The way I dress depends on the circumstances and the country I'm in, and I also wear knee-length skirts and tank tops in hot weather and when around people where this would be considered normal.
I noticed in Australia that men there don't look at you at all if you are wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, whereas in Egypt you would definitely get a lot of looks for that kind of dress. That's why I pretty much bought a new wardrobe when I moved back here. I didn't wear the veil and don't plan to, but I try to dress in long sleeves and baggy clothes as much as possible. And to be quite honest, I feel better, because I feel like I get lost in the crowd.
I remember we discussed this before in another thread (Struggling with Sexual Harassment by Egyptian Men) ? the level of harassment in Egypt and the covering up of women coincide with each other. Twenty, thirty years ago when women used to walk the streets in miniskirts, there was literally no street harassment while now, with about 95% of the women wearing a headscarf or more, it has become a serious social problem affecting almost every woman, no matter how she's dressed.
When I first moved here I used to cover up from head to toe (no headscarf though) and very baggy clothes, yet I was constantly being harassed. Now I wear what I like and, interestingly, get harassed less. I think it has something to do with feeling comfortable in your skin; baggy clothes are just not me and, being tallish and slim, I look and feel ridiculous in them. At some point I got really fed up with covering every inch of my skin in temperatures around 40?C, and I also got fed up with the prevailing notion that a "decent woman" has to cover her hair, ears, throat, arms etc., with the way women here are constantly being bullied into covering up more and more. So I decided that if people want to judge me for exposing my arms or my calves, then that's their problem and shows their narrow-mindedness and hypocricy.
-
me too bro laugh
What, you are also covered in tattoos and clean shaven? wow
Peace, rashidala
Not sure if this is your intention, but your post, although speaking about a women's issue, sounds as if is addressed solely to men. You keep speaking about "our women", what "they" should do, how "they" should be dressed and behaved etc.Give the guy a break, sister Leyna, I refer to my (biological) sisters, my wife and my daughters as "my women"....it is a statement of affection, alright? peace
But yes, I agree with you. Just because you are a muslim woman doesn't give me the right as a muslim man to say "our women".
The only time steps need to be taken is when someone encroaches on the right of another in a manner that doesn't give the latter any choice in the matter. An example would be murder.
Imraan
I second that....
-
Give the guy a break, sister Leyna, I refer to my (biological) sisters, my wife and my daughters as "my women"....it is a statement of affection, alright? peace
Emil, I don't have a problem with that expression. I have a problem with the poster using the third person plural instead of the second person, thus addressing the men but not the women themselves.
peace
-
Brother Rashidala
I have a question, not meant to challenge but it is more of a curious question....
Why would like to be identified as a muslim?
You ARE a muslim, no doubt about it, and you are very brave, not many people here (me included) have the guts to use a picture of themselves as profile pic.
My outer exterior is probably the furthest away from the muslim. I am covered in tattoos, clean shaven....If you saw me you would probably ask me where I parked my Harley...but I am still a muslim, and even though people cannot physically see I am a muslim that they can still see the way I protect my family, love my wife, respect my parents and kindness towards my neigbours.i have the same question; i don't get this "identify oneself as a Muslim" thing either. our actions should speak for themselves.
-
are guys really that turned on by forearms/scalp hair of any random woman on the street?
-
are guys really that turned on by forearms/scalp hair of any random woman on the street?
i have a feeling that depends on where the "guys" are. in America and most countries and cultures, men are used to seeing women's hair, so i suppose that alone wouldn't turn them on. i bet in Saudi Arabia it's a whole different issue since they're not used to seeing women's hair at all. i'm a believer that you dress for the culture you're in (within reason, of course, lol).
-
i have a feeling that depends on where the "guys" are. in America and most countries and cultures, men are used to seeing women's hair, so i suppose that alone wouldn't turn them on. i bet in Saudi Arabia it's a whole different issue since they're not used to seeing women's hair at all. i'm a believer that you dress for the culture you're in (within reason, of course, lol).
Thats not actually true about saudi arabia. A lot of the stuff we get on tv here has saudi music with long haired girls doing what appears to be a hair dance. All they seem to do is fling their hair from one side to the other while doing not very much of a dance while Arab men sort of bob up and down -\
-
Thats not actually true about saudi arabia. A lot of the stuff we get on tv here has saudi music with long haired girls doing what appears to be a hair dance. All they seem to do is fling their hair from one side to the other while doing not very much of a dance while Arab men sort of bob up and down -\
i meant more as a societal "norm" rather than that they've never seen hair. sorry i wasn't clear. )
hair dance, lol.
-
What you wear is important,but whats the point of wearing a hijab when you got tight-skin jeans and barely any clothes on top.A women should have the right to cover herself,but the hijab does not define a womans level of modesty,of course we still have people with their "backward" views,the veil should be banned,because alot of people are taking advantage of it,and most of it is not nesecerily good.As long as a woman helps people and does not sin,the hijab is a minor issue to me,its like someone saying to me grow a beard,its a personal choice,but a clean-shaven man who prays 5 times a day is better than a bearded man who bombs up innocent people.Peace