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  4. Modesty and Women in Islam

Modesty and Women in Islam

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    1CELOSTNOWFOUND
    wrote on last edited by
    #15

    Peace

    The way I understand it, the primary meaning of modesty has to do with being moderate. This should therefore come through in our dress code if we see modesty as a requirement in the way we dress.

    If a man or woman considers another inappropriately, it is not the fault of the person that is the subject of such inappropriateness. Each one of us must control ourselves and not exceed the limit ourselves. We must determine this for ourselves. Whether or not we are honest in this self determination is a matter for God to judge. Therefore I think that unless I am trying to determine how I should be modest (in dress or otherwise), I shouldn't concern myself with how anyone else should be moderate in their life. They have the freedom to choose whatever they want in life, just as I do.

    The only time steps need to be taken is when someone encroaches on the right of another in a manner that doesn't give the latter any choice in the matter. An example would be murder.

    Imraan

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      Leyna
      wrote on last edited by
      #16

      Peace, rashidala

      Not sure if this is your intention, but your post, although speaking about a women's issue, sounds as if is addressed solely to men. You keep speaking about "our women", what "they" should do, how "they" should be dressed and behaved etc.

      Sorry, but that somehow bothers me. Why don't you address women directly and ask them how they feel about the issue, instead of asking for men's opinions?

      I agree pretty much with BornAgain's post. The way I dress depends on the circumstances and the country I'm in, and I also wear knee-length skirts and tank tops in hot weather and when around people where this would be considered normal.

      I noticed in Australia that men there don't look at you at all if you are wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, whereas in Egypt you would definitely get a lot of looks for that kind of dress. That's why I pretty much bought a new wardrobe when I moved back here. I didn't wear the veil and don't plan to, but I try to dress in long sleeves and baggy clothes as much as possible. And to be quite honest, I feel better, because I feel like I get lost in the crowd.

      I remember we discussed this before in another thread (Struggling with Sexual Harassment by Egyptian Men) ? the level of harassment in Egypt and the covering up of women coincide with each other. Twenty, thirty years ago when women used to walk the streets in miniskirts, there was literally no street harassment while now, with about 95% of the women wearing a headscarf or more, it has become a serious social problem affecting almost every woman, no matter how she's dressed.

      When I first moved here I used to cover up from head to toe (no headscarf though) and very baggy clothes, yet I was constantly being harassed. Now I wear what I like and, interestingly, get harassed less. I think it has something to do with feeling comfortable in your skin; baggy clothes are just not me and, being tallish and slim, I look and feel ridiculous in them. At some point I got really fed up with covering every inch of my skin in temperatures around 40?C, and I also got fed up with the prevailing notion that a "decent woman" has to cover her hair, ears, throat, arms etc., with the way women here are constantly being bullied into covering up more and more. So I decided that if people want to judge me for exposing my arms or my calves, then that's their problem and shows their narrow-mindedness and hypocricy.

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        Emil
        wrote on last edited by
        #17

        me too bro laugh

        What, you are also covered in tattoos and clean shaven? wow

        Peace, rashidala
        Not sure if this is your intention, but your post, although speaking about a women's issue, sounds as if is addressed solely to men. You keep speaking about "our women", what "they" should do, how "they" should be dressed and behaved etc.

        Give the guy a break, sister Leyna, I refer to my (biological) sisters, my wife and my daughters as "my women"....it is a statement of affection, alright? peace

        But yes, I agree with you. Just because you are a muslim woman doesn't give me the right as a muslim man to say "our women".

        The only time steps need to be taken is when someone encroaches on the right of another in a manner that doesn't give the latter any choice in the matter. An example would be murder.

        Imraan

        I second that....

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          Leyna
          wrote on last edited by
          #18

          Give the guy a break, sister Leyna, I refer to my (biological) sisters, my wife and my daughters as "my women"....it is a statement of affection, alright? peace

          Emil, I don't have a problem with that expression. I have a problem with the poster using the third person plural instead of the second person, thus addressing the men but not the women themselves.

          peace

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            Emil
            wrote on last edited by
            #19

            Aaah, ok now I understand, sorry Leyna.

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              searchingone
              wrote on last edited by
              #20

              Brother Rashidala

              I have a question, not meant to challenge but it is more of a curious question....

              Why would like to be identified as a muslim?
              You ARE a muslim, no doubt about it, and you are very brave, not many people here (me included) have the guts to use a picture of themselves as profile pic.
              My outer exterior is probably the furthest away from the muslim. I am covered in tattoos, clean shaven....If you saw me you would probably ask me where I parked my Harley...but I am still a muslim, and even though people cannot physically see I am a muslim that they can still see the way I protect my family, love my wife, respect my parents and kindness towards my neigbours.

              i have the same question; i don't get this "identify oneself as a Muslim" thing either. our actions should speak for themselves.

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                aynur
                wrote on last edited by
                #21

                We are to not emulate those who are unbelievers.

                Peace,
                Is that part that says we're not supposed to imitate the unbelievers from the Qur'an, or is it stressed in the hadith? I remember reading it in Bukhari, but was it in the Qur'an too??

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                  justamuslim
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #22

                  are guys really that turned on by forearms/scalp hair of any random woman on the street?

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                    searchingone
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #23

                    are guys really that turned on by forearms/scalp hair of any random woman on the street?

                    i have a feeling that depends on where the "guys" are. in America and most countries and cultures, men are used to seeing women's hair, so i suppose that alone wouldn't turn them on. i bet in Saudi Arabia it's a whole different issue since they're not used to seeing women's hair at all. i'm a believer that you dress for the culture you're in (within reason, of course, lol).

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                      Ayisha
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #24

                      i have a feeling that depends on where the "guys" are. in America and most countries and cultures, men are used to seeing women's hair, so i suppose that alone wouldn't turn them on. i bet in Saudi Arabia it's a whole different issue since they're not used to seeing women's hair at all. i'm a believer that you dress for the culture you're in (within reason, of course, lol).

                      Thats not actually true about saudi arabia. A lot of the stuff we get on tv here has saudi music with long haired girls doing what appears to be a hair dance. All they seem to do is fling their hair from one side to the other while doing not very much of a dance while Arab men sort of bob up and down -\

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                        Leyna
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #25

                        That hair dance thingie is SO weird! ;D

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                          searchingone
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #26

                          Thats not actually true about saudi arabia. A lot of the stuff we get on tv here has saudi music with long haired girls doing what appears to be a hair dance. All they seem to do is fling their hair from one side to the other while doing not very much of a dance while Arab men sort of bob up and down -\

                          i meant more as a societal "norm" rather than that they've never seen hair. sorry i wasn't clear. )

                          hair dance, lol.

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                            Free_Muslim
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #27

                            What you wear is important,but whats the point of wearing a hijab when you got tight-skin jeans and barely any clothes on top.A women should have the right to cover herself,but the hijab does not define a womans level of modesty,of course we still have people with their "backward" views,the veil should be banned,because alot of people are taking advantage of it,and most of it is not nesecerily good.As long as a woman helps people and does not sin,the hijab is a minor issue to me,its like someone saying to me grow a beard,its a personal choice,but a clean-shaven man who prays 5 times a day is better than a bearded man who bombs up innocent people.Peace

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