Trouble with such differing views
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Greetings and peace, all. group
When I married my wife in 2007, we followed different paths. She was nominally Christian, and I followed monotheistic vedanta. The only wrinkle at the time was finding a place to get married. We chose a local UU church for the ceremony, and a magistrate court judge married us. Religion never caused any problems for us. Years pass...
In 2009, during a military deployment to Afghanistan, I reverted to/embraced Islam. I'd talked with my wife beforehand, and she was okay with it so long as I didn't try to force beliefs on her or our children. I agreed. What she presumed (and what I didn't understand) was that she thought that I'd wait until I was stateside before "becoming" muslim. That I didn't wait, that I made a major life change away from her rocked '( but didn't topple ) our marriage.
I actually believed that Islam, being Abrahamic, would bring us closer together. Her perception of Islam and the perceptions of her friends >D have hardened her heart. brickwall She embraced her beliefs more strongly as a consequence and started going to church and reading the Bible. She won't (at this juncture) consider the Qur'an. I won't divorce her over matters of religion, but I do worry over her spiritual welfare & and my inability to help her.
I thank Allah that our marriage has stabilized from the rockier times. Had it been otherwise, I would accept Allah's will and hope that Allah had better for me. I hold hope that my wife will embrace monotheism. Polytheism is illogical! Using the Bible alone, polytheism can be debunked--but only to an open mind. I have nothing against monotheists of whatever stripe. She believes that I am lost, and I believe that she is a good person who has been misled (and who persists) in worshipping a prophet. I cannot say who is lost (or saved)--that is for Allah alone.
peace ~Abdul-Hadi
Allah knows best in all things.
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thats sad to hear....ofcourse you shouldnt seperate from her due to religion...i guess just keep on trying...and be there for her nomatter what. at the end of the day that is wat we humans can do. we cant play God.but i agree...it would be very hard for you two..
maybe read the bible with her and try to ask questions and make her think? -
Greetings and peace
That's a good idea, if done delicately. I'll dust off "The Grounds of Christianity" to make a good strategy. I don't care what "religion" she claims, so long as she follows/practices monotheism. yes
I might also see if she'd go to a UU church with me--a "middle ground" to wean her off of polytheism. If Allah wills, my wife will open her mind.
Thanks for the input
~Abdul-Hadi
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Salaam to all.
This is a very sad post guys. My heart goes out to all of you and my prayers. My Husband and I have decided not to discuss the matter anymore, till he comes home ( serving a life sentence for a murder he didn't commit) He has done 19 years so far '(. His tariff is up in May next year, but because he maintains his innocence they will not release him elektro. So my husband feels that if he were home we could study the Quran together and discuss it properly yay. Something that is virtually impossible on the phone, as we have limited time (. Inshallah Allah swt will release him and reveal the truth pr.
http//www.webspawner.com/users/jchowdhary/Respectfully Yours
Simone sun
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Greetings and peace
That's a good idea, if done delicately. I'll dust off "The Grounds of Christianity" to make a good strategy. I don't care what "religion" she claims, so long as she follows/practices monotheism. yes
I might also see if she'd go to a UU church with me--a "middle ground" to wean her off of polytheism. If Allah wills, my wife will open her mind.
Thanks for the input
~Abdul-Hadi
What is a UU church?
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Forget finding someone who doesn't have the same belief system as you. Forget finding someone who does not follow islam based on Quran.You might want to teach someone abot islam, but it will take too much work, too much time and drain all your energy. And it is not a guarantee that the person will follow your belief system. It's like playing the lotto. You will most likely loose. The person will most likely not change, and not follow your belief system. Instead find someone who has the same belief system as you. Bet on a safe card. Find a finished package.
Forget what I wrote in my post (the paragraph above). I was wrong. It is not black and white. There are men and women who follow god alone in different religions and accept the truth. And some of them have the potential to accept islam based on quran after a while. We don't need to only get to know someone who has exactly the same belief system as we have. At the same time, I think that getting to know someone who is a monotheist, and believes in "islam based on quran" is ideal (the best). Some of the things I said in my post in this thread, are things i would never say now.
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It's ok to have relationship / marriage with somebody who have different views than yourself.
I've tried that many times, my list of (former) girlfriends includes
- Presbyterians christians
- Orthodox christians
- Catholics
- Ahmaddiya
- Sunni
- Atheist
And based on those experiences, I never had problems from 'belief/views' as I'm quite a 'tolerant' guy and I respect her rights of different opinions on any matters.
And I ends up married to a Sunni..
Which of course doesn't have the same 'view' as mine even up until now..
But one thing for sure
Don't get married to arrogant irrational fanatics and hooligans.. they're intolerance, never uses their brain and they're totally insane!And I'm not talking only in 'religions / hadith' kind of way but in general!
Which includes Football club fanatics, Nationality fanatics (Facist/Extreme nationalism), Racist fanatics (Their race/ethnicity are far more superior than others) etc..Salam / Peace
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Forget what I wrote in my post (the paragraph above). I was wrong. It is not black and white. There are men and women who follow god alone in different religions and accept the truth. And some of them have the potential to accept islam based on quran after a while. We don't need to only get to know someone who has exactly the same belief system as we have. At the same time, I think that getting to know someone who is a monotheist, and believes in "islam based on quran" is ideal (the best). Some of the things I said in my post in this thread, are things i would never say now.
Aww, it was nice that you posted this. I relate. People change and grow -and this forum is a great place for growth. peace
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It's ok to have relationship / marriage with somebody who have different views than yourself.
I've tried that many times, my list of (former) girlfriends includes
- Presbyterians christians
- Orthodox christians
- Catholics
- Ahmaddiya
- Sunni
- Atheist
And based on those experiences, I never had problems from 'belief/views' as I'm quite a 'tolerant' guy and I respect her rights of different opinions on any matters.
And I ends up married to a Sunni.. )
Which of course doesn't have the same 'view' as mine even up until now..
But one thing for sure
Don't get married to arrogant irrational fanatics and hooligans.. they're intolerance, never uses their brain and they're totally insane!And I'm not talking only in 'religions / hadith' kind of way but in general!
Which includes Football club fanatics, Nationality fanatics (Facist/Extreme nationalism), Racist fanatics (Their race/ethnicity are far more superior than others) etc..Salam / Peace
peace Jaffar and great points. I too am relatively tolerant. However my tolerance goes out the window when I receive intolerance back....so I'm far from perfect lol.
I am in agreement about being careful of those who are intolerant. They can change but the very nature of intolerance is that it stands in the way making it less likely for positive change to occur.
On a personal note I am not sure whether I would try another relationship where we differed on the ''basics''. Even though I am tolerant I've been burned and so I have to be honest about being quite shy of taking that chance again. Still, never say never.
