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  4. LEAVING MY FAMILY

LEAVING MY FAMILY

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  • U Offline
    U Offline
    unknownuser
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Peace,

    There is no need.

    Fair enough if your family reject the truth entirely - that is to say if they believe that there is no judgement, that they are wandering purposeless, that evil has no consequence, then by all means get away!

    However they could be striving to surrender to ALLAH as best they can through the way they have learnt. If they are truly seeking the truth then it's a different story.

    Don't let the language/knowledge barrier disunite your family. If both of you are serving ALLAH then there is no cause for discord. If you are serving "Quranism" and they are serving "Sunnism" then there will be war between "Quranism" and "Sunnism" in your house and there may be real life casualties!

    Lose all isms and surrender. If Moses could live in Firon's palace, what stops you?

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    • B Offline
      B Offline
      Bigmo
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Peace,

      There is no need.

      Fair enough if your family reject the truth entirely - that is to say if they believe that there is no judgement, that they are wandering purposeless, that evil has no consequence, then by all means get away!

      However they could be striving to surrender to ALLAH as best they can through the way they have learnt. If they are truly seeking the truth then it's a different story.

      Don't let the language/knowledge barrier disunite your family. If both of you are serving ALLAH then there is no cause for discord. If you are serving "Quranism" and they are serving "Sunnism" then there will be war between "Quranism" and "Sunnism" in your house and there may be real life casualties!

      Lose all isms and surrender. If Moses could live in Firon's palace, what stops you?

      I agree. They probably do Sunni rituals. But they are still believers. We are against Sunni Islam and not Sunnis.

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      • U Offline
        U Offline
        unknownuser
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        I agree. They probably do Sunni rituals. But they are still believers. We are against Sunni Islam and not Sunnis.

        We are against falsehood and rejectors of the truth not Sunni Islam. The distinction may not seem like much but these two realities are worlds apart. Where Sunni Islam is false, be against that. But as long as there is a speck of truth in "Sunni Islam", you would be totally unjust to be against that itself.

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        • K Offline
          K Offline
          Kukumber
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Peace Kindness

          We really do not know your full story, just the small excerpt you gave us. Only you truly know whether you will be safe remaining in your family's home, and what the entire situation is.

          I left my "home", even though I never thought of it as a home about 4 years ago. Home is where you are supposed to feel safe, and I was not getting that. It had nothing to do with sunnism/quranism or anything like that. I didn't even make a big spectacle out of moving. Just got admission in a university in a different town, and paid for it myself too, so they would not have any hold on me at all. When I moved out, I started to withdraw myself from them on an emotional level too, just one phone call every 2 weeks or so, telling them as minimal as I could about my life.

          When I on a very definite level, abandoned Sunnism, it never occurred to me to even tell my parents, I had gotten so used to not discussing my life that it did not even seem un-natural.

          Now 4 years later, I can say that I am very happy I moved out, and distanced myself from them, there was no way I would have healed if I had stayed in that toxic environment. I regret not making a bigger spectacle out of everything, as sometimes I feel they have absolutely no clue as to the amount of hurt they caused me, and how much their choices still affect my life. They are times when I am sad that they don't really know who I am, but at the same time, if I open myself up to them, they will be giving me a list of things that is wrong with me, so its a pretty stale-mate situation. And also being in university was great, but it isn't like I have found a permanent "home" yet. You can only be a wanderer for so long before it starts to get to you.

          So in the end its your decision to make, you have to decide whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, but from someone that has gone through it, the advice I can give you, don't go into it thinking its going to be a 100% positive experience. Reconciliation is always better than cutting off ties.

          Kukumber

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          • O Offline
            O Offline
            Omari
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            Salam Big Mo......can you link me the arbic article from Jamal or Gamal Al Bana regarding hadiths?

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            • M Offline
              M Offline
              mmkhan
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Thank you very much for advising me. I think i'm going to leave them but keeping in touch.

              Salaam Kindness,

              I hope I am not late in responding.

              Please don't leave you parents/home, I know that what you are facing is unknown to us but believe in Allah and ask Him for help, remember! He is the all Listener and Knower.

              Don't rush and don't take any decision by yourself but I suggest you to ask Allah to make you take decision whatever is best for you. If you can't then take a look at your screen name on free-minds.org

              Then take time before you decide anything. See what Allah guides you to.

              May Allah help you in all situations, bless you with happiness & peace and guide us all to His only true path. pr
              Mohammed M. Khan

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              • Y Offline
                Y Offline
                youssef4342
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                I will tell you that, if they persecute you, say Peace and leave, as i've tried to reconcile with mine and every time it did not work out. And expect the Best, because if you immigrate in the sake of God, God will take care of you!

                learn From my experiance (I ran away from home 5 times, 3 times because of me wanting to uphold the Quran alone and not to associate with God). (Yeah, I jumped out the 2nd floor window, fled to another state and even stayed on the streets for about a month!) And let me tell you, God took care of me all this time, and I'm thankful that i did all of that in the sake of God! (Now i live with a neighbor and praise be to God, i have everything i need and want!)

                Praise be to the good lord God who fulfills his words !
                "Anyone who emigrates in the cause of GOD will find on earth great bounties and richness..." (Quran 4100)

                "If anyone thinks that God cannot support him in this life and in the Hereafter, let him turn completely to (his Creator in) heaven, and sever (his dependence on anyone else). He will then see that this plan eliminates anything that bothers him" (Quran 2215)

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                • M Offline
                  M Offline
                  MUNZIR_ALI
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXDy1gVcWCc

                  This may help, although it is directed towards Atheists/Agnostics.

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                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Jafar
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXDy1gVcWCc

                    This may help, although it is directed towards Atheists/Agnostics.

                    I like the closing quote "Actions are more important than beliefs".
                    It reminds me of "Dharmic" teachings.. which follows the same principle.. given "Dharma" is a sanskrit word for "action/deed".

                    Salam / PEace

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                    • U Offline
                      U Offline
                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Peace Naziha,

                      . It reminds me of that popular viral video of that boy telling his mother he's no longer a Christian and that he is an atheist, and her response was, "Well then guess what?! You're not getting anything for Christmas!". It's all they can say. They never knew religion, it's just a big point system via lip-service and traditional rituals for them. It's actually an amazing view of psychology and how religion can indeed be very harmful.

                      ;D

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