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  4. Marriage to a Sunni, I need advice

Marriage to a Sunni, I need advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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  • I Offline
    I Offline
    Ikrame
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    Why would you stay? in hope to get back the good times, out of fear for being lonely?
    I think it's important in order to move on to figure out what's holding you back. you should definetely leave him based on what your saying but figure things out first good luck

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    • R Offline
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      rebeccarossa
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      Hi, If you have gone back with him and you feel nothing has changed, it probably hasn't. I know it is difficult to think of leaving again, but even harder is waking up 10 years later and realizing how desperately unhappy you are/have been living with a controlling husband. My advice is coming out of my own personal experience with a failed marriage and divorce. While I wish I had children, I am glad that Allah swt in His infinite wisdom did not send them to me with my ex because of the situation I was in at the time.

      Life is too short to stay with someone who doesn't treat you well.

      It may be tough at first but remember that you will come through it all with the help of Allah swt.

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      • Z Offline
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        Zulf
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        Life is too short to be confused. I really cannot see why you "went back" to him. Have you asked yourself why you are punishing yourself? Why do you do that? Stop it. This guy is insulting you and totally disrespecting you. You need to recognize that! If you cannot see that he actually has zero respect for you, then it will be very difficult for you to give respect to yourself. Allah doesn't change anyone's situation unless we make a move to change it ourselves. Is there something you desperately need from the marriage? I'm sure it's not that important, to live a life of insult, disrespect and loneliness.
        This is about you. Why are YOU doing this to YOURSELF? Probe into yourself and have some mature talk with yourself.

        Now, if you think he is not disrespecting you, for whatever reason, then just realize that he is suffocating your life. It seems your and his ideas and views of life are incompatible. Why waste your life? Don't you believe in what you believe in?

        By the way, if you want to get rid of this guy, then you should actually follow what Israfeel is saying. Just tell this "fact" to your so called husband, and perhaps he will be happy to leave you.

        Why are you clinging on? Life is too short. If we are not supposed to torment others, then we are equally much not supposed to torment ourselves. There is no honor is self-disrespect.

        Peace and good luck! Pray to God! God is our only hope!

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        • S Offline
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          simonejamilla
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          Your marriage was already terminated the second you became a "Quranist". Islam does not recognize marriage between Muslims and Quranist. In other words your nikaah is broken and its haram for your former husband to be with you. I hope he knows that because he could be doing zina (adultery).

          Peace all.
          Where is this information? I genuinely would like to know where this has come from? Israfeel could you please give me either a verse from the book of Allah Al Qur'an or one of your Sahih Sittah.

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          • I Offline
            I Offline
            Israfeel
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            Peace all.
            Where is this information? I genuinely would like to know where this has come from? Israfeel could you please give me either a verse from the book of Allah Al Qur'an or one of your Sahih Sittah.

            ?And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)?

            ?And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)?

            These verses of the Quran make it clear that Muslim women are forbidden from marrying non-Muslim men. Hadith-rejectors are declared as unbelievers and outside the circle of Islam because of their rejection of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. Allah in the Quran says

            Say "Obey Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) But if they turn back, Allah loves not the disbelievers" (Sura 333)

            Since Hadith-rejectors refuse to obey the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) they are disbelievers, and it is forbidden for Believers to marry with them.

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            • WakasW Offline
              WakasW Offline
              Wakas
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              Israfeel,

              Please see the forum rules, especially (2) and (3)
              http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=8177.0

              Bold emphasis mine

              Hadith-rejectors are declared as unbelievers and outside the circle of Islam because of their rejection of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. Allah in the Quran says

              Say "Obey Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) But if they turn back, Allah loves not the disbelievers" (Sura 333)

              Since Hadith-rejectors refuse to obey the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) they are disbelievers, and it is forbidden for Believers to marry with them.

              1. Please show where in Quran it is declared "hadith-rejectors are unbelievers and outside the circle of Islam"
              2. Please show where forum members (ideally a few of us) clearly state they reject prophet Muhammad.
              3. Please show where forum members (ideally a few of us) clearly state they refuse to obey the Messenger of Allah.

              If you cannot, and you need to correct/clarify your statements, then I suggest you do so.

              All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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              • I Offline
                I Offline
                Israfeel
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                Israfeel,

                Please see the forum rules, especially (2) and (3)
                http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=8177.0

                Bold emphasis mine

                1. Please show where in Quran it is declared "hadith-rejectors are unbelievers and outside the circle of Islam"
                2. Please show where forum members (ideally a few of us) clearly state they reject prophet Muhammad.
                3. Please show where forum members (ideally a few of us) clearly state they refuse to obey the Messenger of Allah.

                If you cannot, and you need to correct/clarify your statements, then I suggest you do so.

                Im at work right now. Give me some time when I'm free.

                *The short answer is that since Hadith-rejectors reject the authentically reported Hadith of the Prophet peace be upon him, therefore they refuse to obey his sayings and teachings, therefore they are disbelievers from the perspective of orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims.

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                • H Offline
                  H Offline
                  hawk99
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  Im at work right now. Give me some time when I'm free.

                  *The short answer is that since Hadith-rejectors reject the authentically reported Hadith of the Prophet peace be upon him, therefore they refuse to obey his sayings and teachings, therefore they are disbelievers from the perspective of orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims.

                  Your short answer is not from Quran. nope

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                  • I Offline
                    I Offline
                    Israfeel
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    Your short answer is not from Quran. nope

                    Why should it be? Quran is not the only revelation from Allah.

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                    • D Offline
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                      diamantinehoneybunch
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      Im at work right now. Give me some time when I'm free.

                      *The short answer is that since Hadith-rejectors reject the authentically reported Hadith of the Prophet peace be upon him, therefore they refuse to obey his sayings and teachings, therefore they are disbelievers from the perspective of orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims.

                      Salaam,

                      Verse 425 clearly prohibits having sex with ma malakat aymanukum but some narrations attributed to Muhammad say that Muhammad had sex with Mariyyah his Coptic slave during Hafsa's turn at Hafsa's house.

                      Regards,
                      Yuliana

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                      • H Offline
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                        hawk99
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        Why should it be? Quran is not the only revelation from Allah.

                        What other revelations are you referring to?

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                        • B Offline
                          B Offline
                          Bender
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          Im at work right now. Give me some time when I'm free.

                          *The short answer is that since Hadith-rejectors reject the authentically reported Hadith of the Prophet peace be upon him, therefore they refuse to obey his sayings and teachings, therefore they are disbelievers from the perspective of orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims.

                          Salaamun alayka,

                          RED thank you, that is a nice an honest answer.

                          Can you answer me these 3 questions please

                          Who is going to judge you and me?
                          A) Allah
                          B) orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims

                          Who is going to judge the orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims?
                          A) Allah
                          B) themselves

                          What is the ONLY judgement that counts?
                          A) Allah's judgement
                          B) orthodox mainstream Sunni Muslims judgement

                          Salaam,
                          Bender

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                          • N Offline
                            N Offline
                            Noon_waalqalami
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            ?And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)?

                            ?And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)?

                            Peace,

                            Translation posted is horrid; there's no "give" or "daughters" in verse and address is to males and females.

                            2221 and not marry yeh the idolaters (f/p) until believes and surely handmaiden believer (f/s) better from idolatress and supposing like her you and not marry yeh the idolaters (m/p) until believe they and servant (m/s) believer better from idolater and supposing liked you him surely those calling to the fire and the god invites to the garden/paradise and the forgiveness by permission his and makes clear signs his to the humankind perhaps they those remembering

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                            • I Offline
                              I Offline
                              Israfeel
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              Salaam,

                              Verse 425 clearly prohibits having sex with ma malakat aymanukum but some narrations attributed to Muhammad say that Muhammad had sex with Mariyyah his Coptic slave during Hafsa's turn at Hafsa's house.

                              Regards,
                              Yuliana

                              If only you read the Quran you would have seen this verse

                              O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses (3350)

                              and

                              It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (3352)

                              and

                              And those who guard their chastity. Except with their wives and whom their right hands possess,- for (then) they are not to be blamed, (7030)

                              Also, 425 never prohibits having sex with right-hand possessions, on the contrary it says

                              If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess

                              See how Hadith-rejecters even lie about the Quran?? God forbid

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                              • I Offline
                                I Offline
                                Israfeel
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                Peace,

                                Translation posted is horrid; there's no "give" or "daughters" in verse and address is to males and females.

                                2221 and not marry yeh the idolaters (f/p) until believes and surely handmaiden believer (f/s) better from idolatress and supposing like her you and not marry yeh the idolaters (m/p) until believe they and servant (m/s) believer better from idolater and supposing liked you him surely those calling to the fire and the god invites to the garden/paradise and the forgiveness by permission his and makes clear signs his to the humankind perhaps they those remembering

                                You call the widespread published academic translation I posted as "horrid", but your own personal internet translation is so jumbled and confused that I have no idea what it says or means. What irony!

                                Before you decide to start translating the Quran into English, at least study basic English grammar LOL

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                                • D Offline
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                                  diamantinehoneybunch
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #28

                                  If only you read the Quran you would have is verse

                                  O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses (3350)

                                  and

                                  It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (3352)

                                  and

                                  And those who guard their chastity. Except with their wives and whom their right hands possess,- for (then) they are not to be blamed, (7030)

                                  Also, 425 never prohibits having sex with right-hand possessions, on the contrary it says

                                  If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess

                                  See how Hadith-rejecters even lie about the Quran?? God forbid

                                  Lie about Quran?
                                  Are you out of your mind?

                                  It is proven in verse 425 that God prohibits having sex with ma malakat aymanukum / women whom the men's right hnd posses.
                                  What I meant by the post was nowhere in the Qur'an did it say men are allowed to commit illegal sex with their right hand possess (sorry I forgot to say women whom their right hand possess whom are not married to them).

                                  Are you saying that men are allowed to have sex with their slaves, servants, maidens and whom their right hand possess without even marrying them?

                                  I have never said that men are not allowed to marry ma malakat aymanukum. You misunderstood my post.
                                  SIGH

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                                  • I Offline
                                    I Offline
                                    Israfeel
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #29

                                    Lie about Quran?
                                    Are you out of your mind?

                                    It is proven in verse 425 that God prohibits having sex with ma malakat aymanukum / women whom the men's right hnd posses.
                                    What I meant by the post was nowhere in the Qur'an did it say men are allowed to commit illegal sex with their right hand possess (sorry I forgot to say women whom their right hand possess whom are not married to them).

                                    Are you saying that men are allowed to have sex with their slaves, servants, maidens and whom their right hand possess without even marrying them?

                                    I have never said that men are not allowed to marry ma malakat aymanukum. You misunderstood my post.
                                    SIGH

                                    So what is the difference between an ordinary wife and "ma malakat aymanukum" ??

                                    Looking forward to your enlightening answer

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                                    • D Offline
                                      D Offline
                                      diamantinehoneybunch
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #30

                                      So what is the difference between an ordinary wife and "ma malakat aymanukum" ??

                                      Looking forward to your enlightening answer

                                      All ma malakat aymanukum are ordinary wives?
                                      Then why are some verses say to MARRY ma malakat aymanukum if they are already wives?

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                                      • N Offline
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                                        Noon_waalqalami
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #31

                                        You call the widespread published academic translation I posted as "horrid", but your own personal internet translation is so jumbled and confused that I have no idea what it says or means. What irony!

                                        Before you decide to start translating the Quran into English, at least study basic English grammar LOL

                                        Widespread by and for the ignorant!

                                        2221
                                        And not marry you the idolater females until believe...
                                        And not marry you the idolater males until believe they.

                                        Why can?t you comprehend basic stuff?

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