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  4. She's Not Naked !!!

She's Not Naked !!!

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  • M Offline
    M Offline
    mmmm
    wrote on last edited by
    #163

    My fiance and i are going to hawaii so we can spent lovely time together but she want to wear a bikini but she thinks is haram and she is going to hell for it i tell her is okay go ahead and wear it but she thinks it isnt right but she also want to wear it but feel like is not right for her to do so. and to be honest i want to be at the beach in hawaii with her so do you think is wrong for her to wear it do you think God himself is going to punish her for doing that i myself dont see anything wrong with that she's not naked for God sake

    By the way if she feels it's haram for her who are you to say it's not...perhaps her feeling is more accurate than your "logic"...

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    • M Offline
      M Offline
      Man_of_Faith
      wrote on last edited by
      #164

      ....I would argue that most people let their wives walk around half-naked...but everyone has a right to his own preference just don'tpretend that Allah didn't advice people on a proper dress code, please!

      This verse suits the context of that article about women who swim commit adultery and eating bananas is immoral.

      I suppose you need to read what I post that verse at. Do you say that those who swim or eat bananas commit adultery?

      Peace out

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      • M Offline
        M Offline
        Man_of_Faith
        wrote on last edited by
        #165

        nope

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        • L Offline
          L Offline
          Leyna
          wrote on last edited by
          #166

          I liked the marathon example since I feel running a marathon is a wonderful metaphor for perserverance through mental strength. Running a marathon is not about your body, it's all about your mind and the fight with your mind.

          Again, this is logic to you?

          How does "stamina" is related to "mental strength" (state of mind), ie. how it is affecting your internal or self esteem and character?

          I explained it very clearly. Running a marathon is as much about mental strength as it is about physical stamina. Without mental strength you won't finish a marathon.

          Likewise, you can't develop physical stamina without mental strength because it requires dedication, goal-orientation, discipline, and the will to push yourself further. By the way, exercising, i.e. developing physical stamina, has been proven to help fight depression and raise self-esteem. So it is indeed interlinked with "self esteem and character". I am surprised you don't seem to be aware of this.

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          • M Offline
            M Offline
            Man_of_Faith
            wrote on last edited by
            #167

            I explained it very clearly. Running a marathon is as much about mental strength as it is about physical stamina. Without mental strength you won't finish a marathon.

            Likewise, you can't develop physical stamina without mental strength because it requires dedication, goal-orientation, discipline, and the will to push yourself further. By the way, exercising, i.e. developing physical stamina, has been proven to help fight depression and raise self-esteem. So it is indeed interlinked with "self esteem and character". I am surprised you don't seem to be aware of this.

            Peace,

            Do not worry, Leyna. I agree with you that there are some grave misconceptions about things although there are differences between men and women but which even themselves out and we compensate each other's weaknesses. Summary is that no gender is better than the other only different qualities.

            God bless you

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            • J Offline
              J Offline
              Jafar
              wrote on last edited by
              #168

              The fact that women have lots of "fear" (worriness) in themselves, is a clear proof that they lack of mental strength. Women worry about everything, including shoes, makeup and all tiny issues. They even worry what people think about them on those very small issues, which most men think is quite ridiculous. Most of them even need to communicate or talk to people for releasing their tensions. They need someone to hear and listen to their feelings. Further and in general, their accomplishment are not due to their self interest, but more because of they "fear" of something (humiliation, expectation from people they love, fear of not being accepted by society or co-workers, fear people will hate them, fear of no equal treatments etc.). Fear and worriness is dominant in their life.

              Strong "mental strength", Self-Interest and Bravery might not be a good traits.

              Major characteristic of a psychopath

              1. Egocentric, Narcissistic and Arrogant
              2. Lack of social empathy and anti-social behavior.
              3. Fearlessness, Impulsiveness, Irresponsibility and Sensation-Seeking

              According to research by The American Psychiatric Association, regarding the number of psychopath within current US population based on gender, around 3% from total men and only 1% from total women are psychopath.
              Reference Personality Disorders and Impulse Control Disorders, The American Psychiatric Association.

              "Rapist" easily fell into the category of "Psychopath" due to number 2 and 3.
              Most of the Psychopath are very intelligent, they're well known to have a very high IQ, which makes them more 'dangerous'.

              The best way is to 'avoid them', but that do not justify the 'guiltiness' of the Psychopath, where actually they have no sense of self-guilt at all and can easily blame others through deceit and strong argument.

              When a man rape a woman, the man is guilty regardless of the context nor the clothing style of the woman.

              Like I said; clothing style has nothing to do with morality.

              More on this issue http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy

              Explore the mind of a psychopath
              Interview With a Psychopath
              http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyEo77bpRzE

              Salam / Peace

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              • H Offline
                H Offline
                huruf
                wrote on last edited by
                #169

                ....I would argue that most people let their wives walk around half-naked...but everyone has a right to his own preference just don'tpretend that Allah didn't advice people on a proper dress code, please!

                God's dress code is that the best garment is the garment of righteousness.

                Otherwise I do not think that He is in the business of fashion and protocol.

                Salaam

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                • M Offline
                  M Offline
                  muslims
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #170

                  I explained it very clearly. Running a marathon is as much about mental strength as it is about physical stamina. Without mental strength you won't finish a marathon.

                  Likewise, you can't develop physical stamina without mental strength because it requires dedication, goal-orientation, discipline, and the will to push yourself further. By the way, exercising, i.e. developing physical stamina, has been proven to help fight depression and raise self-esteem. So it is indeed interlinked with "self esteem and character". I am surprised you don't seem to be aware of this.

                  Well, it does not fit from my understanding of "mental strength" and I still cannot relate the issue of "stamina" (health) or "discipline" (attitude) with "mental strength" (state of mind). Maybe you are referring to something else... It have some little significance with mental strength, but it does not fully describe or accurately explain or proof to "mental strength". Maybe it is "psychological strength" (belief), "emotional intelligence" or something else, and the outcome is "mental strength".

                  Mental strength generally is an attribute that allow a person to persevere through the most difficult circumstances and emerge without losing confidence.

                  or.. mental strength is the ability to overcome mental resistance (negativity.. I can't do this, I can't do that.. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that... I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. and so on), preferably from unusual experiences. Things that are accomplished by exercising or repeated actions are "psychological strength". Gaining self belief through experiences and routines. It's got nothing to do with "mental, it is "belief" that are accomplished from routines, from experiences.

                  By the way, you repeatedly make a weird ending comment on your reply, such as "I am surprised you don't seem to be aware of this.". I'm sure you can express your opinion without these kind of comments ... or maybe it is a sign lack of self esteem or mental strength.

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                  • M Offline
                    M Offline
                    muslims
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #171

                    Strong "mental strength", Self-Interest and Bravery might not be a good traits.

                    I agree and some may extend to the state of "Hyperactivity", a disorder (ADHD).. .

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                    • S Offline
                      S Offline
                      sushi1992
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #172

                      I can see how God's words have been twisted and pulled on to suit chauvinism.... Disappointing.

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                      • L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Leyna
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #173

                        "Rapist" easily fell into the category of "Psychopath" due to number 2 and 3.

                        Myth Rapists are crazy, deranged, abnormal perverts. They are lonely men without female partnership.

                        Fact Rape is not a crime of spontaneous passion. Studies show that 60 to 70% of all sexual assaults are planned. Most rapists are married and having consensual sexual relations while assaulting other women. Rapists themselves do not describe their motivation in terms of sexual gratification, but in terms of hatred and conquest. Sex is used as a weapon to inflict violence, humiliation, and degradation on a victim. Indeed, rapists have said that rape is ?lousy sex.? Sexual offenders come from all educational, occupational, racial and cultural backgrounds. They tend to test differently from the normal, well-adjusted male only in having a greater tendency to express violence and rage.

                        The best way is to 'avoid them', but that do not justify the 'guiltiness' of the Psychopath, where actually they have no sense of self-guilt at all and can easily blame others through deceit and strong argument.

                        How should people avoid being raped?

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                        • J Offline
                          J Offline
                          Jafar
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #174

                          How should people avoid being raped?

                          No silver bullet, truly dependent on context and environment, too much variables to be considered.
                          If it's clothing style In Detroit my best advice is to choose either police or soldier uniform. Plus M16 rifle as accessories will be best.

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                          • H Offline
                            H Offline
                            huruf
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #175

                            One big problem with statements based on the assumption of "greater mental strength", "more emotional", "psichological differences" between females and males, etc. is that it is merely de prejudice of the stater and never a quotation from the Qur'an. That is, whatever is said on that count will always be somebody's opinion, not a proved fact, except through statistical samples which never support an inherent trait, but never, never, a statement from the Qur'an.

                            Never such opinions can be sustentated on the words of the Qur'an. That fact is conclusive. People invent. People invent this difference or that, which may may exist statistically but which is never gentical nor inherent but acquired, and again, statistical.

                            Attempting to ground rules on those opinionderived assumptions is wrong. Thsoe pehnomena, those statistical countings are the product fo conditioning, making them serve to further condition people is nto somethign due to nature but an attempt to force people to conform to certain rules which themselves are based on previous conditioning.

                            Qur'an does not do that, but people keep on pretending that it is Qur'an that does that, exept they can't bring any quotes of that.

                            Salaam

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                            • H Offline
                              H Offline
                              huruf
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #176

                              How not to be raped? If it is your father or some family member who si the raper, ovbiously never be alone with them in the home. Go to the cinema or something.

                              If it is some passer by, do nto get to near anybody in the street or lonely streets. Or, and that is 100% effective and causes people cross over to the opposite sidewalk, carry a fencing sports weapon. Magic. Besides, if it come sto that, you can use it.

                              Salaam

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                              • M Offline
                                M Offline
                                muslims
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #177

                                In Detroit my best advice is to choose either police or soldier uniform. Plus M16 rifle as accessories will be best.

                                rotfl

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                                • M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Man_of_Faith
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #178

                                  Peace,

                                  With rape it is the man committing the crime. You cannot put the blame on poor clothing because it is not a solid argument. There are rapes occurring even in places where women look like ghosts in their dresses.

                                  If the woman is dressing inappropriately and distastefully this is her responsibility in front of God, but it is not an excuse for men to rape her. The righteous man will lower his gaze and be embarrassed if a stranger woman is dressing in a distasteful way. It would give signals to such women anyway, but since the society is very outwards these days it is rewarded for women to dress this way so thus it is error in the whole chain. If all men would be righteous women would not dress half-naked because they would not want to be treated like they were distasteful.

                                  EDIT But most is what you do and behave while wearing a certain clothing and mostly inappropriate behavior the men should turn their gazes away from to change the behavior of a whole society since one does not continue something if it is not rewarded.

                                  God bless you

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                                  • L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Leyna
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #179

                                    or.. mental strength is the ability to overcome mental resistance (negativity.. I can't do this, I can't do that.. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that... I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. and so on), preferably from unusual experiences. Things that are accomplished by exercising or repeated actions are "psychological strength". Gaining self belief through experiences and routines. It's got nothing to do with "mental, it is "belief" that are accomplished from routines, from experiences.

                                    I asked you earlier to define what exactly you see as "mental strength" because I felt it's important to establish whether we are talking about the same concept or not. I posted a definition and gave my own opinion as well. You have refused to properly reply, or offer an other explanation or definition. Instead, you just keep criticizing my defintions and staying rather dubious.

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                                    • M Offline
                                      M Offline
                                      muslims
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #180

                                      I asked you earlier to define what exactly you see as "mental strength"

                                      Read again...

                                      Does that sound about right? Is this how you would define the term? If yes, I don't see how it should depned on the gender whether a person possesses mental strength or not.

                                      Mental strength generally is an attribute that allow a person to persevere through the most difficult circumstances and emerge without losing confidence.

                                      or.. mental strength is the ability to overcome mental resistance (negativity.. I can't do this, I can't do that.. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that... I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. and so on), preferably from unusual experiences.

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                                      • H Offline
                                        H Offline
                                        hawk99
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #181

                                        I can see how God's words have been twisted and pulled on to suit chauvinism.... Disappointing.

                                        Peace, Men and women are a team, one complimenting the other.

                                        Men are to (help) provide and protect their families 4/34

                                        PROVIDE

                                        One can provide by supporting, encouraging, enabling, informing.

                                        Those who cannot afford to get married shall maintain morality until GOD provides for them from
                                        His grace. Those among your servants who wish to be freed in order to marry, you shall grant them their
                                        wish, once you realize that they are honest. And give them from GOD's money that He has bestowed upon you.
                                        You shall not force your girls to commit prostitution, seeking the materials of this world, if they wish to be chaste.
                                        If anyone forces them, then GOD, seeing that they are forced, is Forgiver, Merciful.

                                        Men are to provide the dowry as an indicator of his ability to provide for a family, this is incumbent upon
                                        men not women.

                                        PROTECT

                                        You may also fight them to eliminate oppression, and to worship GOD freely. If they refrain, you shall
                                        not aggress; aggression is permitted only against the aggressors.

                                        Men possess superior strength over women thereby being more suited for war.

                                        But all of men's strengths are nullified if you are not given birth and nuturing by the woman!

                                        Sahih International 46/15 And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried
                                        him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning is thirty months.
                                        until, when he reaches maturity and reaches forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me
                                        to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness
                                        of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed,
                                        I am of the Muslims."

                                        We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. His mother bore him, and the load got heavier
                                        and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning. You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your
                                        parents. To Me is the ultimate destiny.

                                        Anyone who has raised children knows what a difficult duty that can be.

                                        Thank God for women because their role in our existence cannot be appreciated enough.

                                        God bless

                                        peace

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                                        • L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Leyna
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #182

                                          By the way, you repeatedly make a weird ending comment on your reply, such as "I am surprised you don't seem to be aware of this.".
                                          I'm sure you can express your opinion without these kind of comments ...
                                          or maybe it is a sign lack of self esteem or mental strength.

                                          First of all, there was nothing insulting in my comment and nothing that warrants an attempt at a personal attack. Many of your statements in this thread are deeply patronizing, insulting, and offensive to women but I don't see any of us making derogatory remarks about your lack of character, strength, or self-esteem.

                                          Secondly, I stand by what I wrote because I am very puzzled and, to be honest, shocked, that you don't see m to have any awareness of this issue.

                                          Not only has the connection between body and mind, between exercise and mental health, sports and self-esteem been researched, talked, and written about extensively. It is also hard not to observe this phenomena in yourself or in others around you. Yet you criticize me for pointing out that connection and even deny that it exists.

                                          Do you exercise regularly? Have you ever trained for a marathon, a sports competition, or set yourself any kind of goal in terms of physical exercise? If yes, didn't you observe that your self confidence and mood improved along with your stamina?

                                          Pushing yourself beyond your comfort levels and enjoying better health, higher stress resistance, a nicer body etc. can and does help people develop self-confidence and mental strength. If you haven't experienced this in yourself, how about the world around you? Have you never observed how exercise can help people improve their life on many levels?

                                          You are obviously an educated person with access to books, TV, magazines, newspapers, and the internet. I find it hard to believe that you've never come across this issue, never read about it, watched a documentary, never seen any research.
                                          confused
                                          Reading your posts here gives me the impression that you are quite young and don't have much life experience ? or that you don't reflect much on the things happening around you and don't listen to people with attention and empathy. I might be wrong but you also give the impression that you're not having many meaningful conversations with women and are lacking serious and deep relationships with them. Otherwise I can't explain why your descriptions of men and women have so very little to do with reality.

                                          Women are not born or created by God with a tolerance for abuse, weakness, or more patience. Again, I wonder about your lack of real life experiences and research. Abuse is a vicious circle, people who get abused as children often turn into abusers themselves, or search out abusers as partners. Whether a person becomes an abuser or a victim of abuse is NOT a question of gender or genetics.

                                          You are not born with more "mental strength" than half of the world's population. I don't believe for a second that you are more rational or mentally stronger than me because you have a different set of chromosomes.

                                          or.. mental strength is the ability to overcome mental resistance (negativity.. I can't do this, I can't do that.. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that... I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. I can't.. and so on), preferably from unusual experiences.

                                          Negativity and lack of self confidence are not a matter of genetics or gender. The foundation for a healthy sense of self are being laid in childhood and youth. Whether a child grows into a person with a healthy self-confidence or a person full of doubt and fear depends hugely on his/her upbringing.

                                          There are many people who were raised by neglecting, uncaring, toxic, or abusive families but are able to free themselves from negative thinking, fear, and lack of self-confidence. This sort of spiritual and psychological work takes a lot of determination, persistance, and courage ? in other words mental strength. Mental strength is NOT never experiencing crisis, doubt, or fear. Mental strength is overcoming those restrictions and growing into a better human being.

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