Even without the Qur'an, Dating Sucks!
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yeah you just go ahead and laugh the both of you. With family like this, i feel like i can safely sack my enemies and still get my shar of flack! D
Greace
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i guess im overly sensitive about this oops
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Speaking of marriage
A friend of mine sent this op/ed from the Washington Post to me this morning. The article hits on some interesting points, but is also problematic for a number of reasons...one being that it fails to point out that single motherhood is not always a choice, but a condition that women must bear.
By William Raspberry
Poor women delay marriage because they value it, but opt for single motherhood in the meantime. Don't they understand that the script they've written for themselves may not play out so well for their children?
To view the entire article, go to http//www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/26/AR2005092600294.html?referrer=emailarticle
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But I understand their position as sexual attraction can often get in the way of male/female "friendships".
But is that what you are after female/male friendships?
Well, you don't date to have friendship do you?
Is not the aim of dating is to have a romantic liasion?
If that is the case why pursue dates if you are only interested in friendship?
You might be better off joining a book or chess clubs for that or any other interest group. And your case a DEEN group -) and if there isn't a DEEN group - why not set one up yourself?
However, it is almost as if men EXPECT full access to a woman's body without investing adequate time, resources, and general interests in the woman's mental, physical, emotional, and sexual health.
Invest in womens physical, mental and sexual health - What are you after a DOCTOR? -)
Men expecting full access to a womens body - look for sexual compatible partners Salikah.
If you are frigid then find a man that is frigid. If you want a man to be a monk - then hey go to a monastery or something!
In my case, when the access is denied, men are off and running to someone who will give them what they want.
If you are not sexually compatible - what do you expect?
They are not going to stick around and clean your oven in hope that they might get a bit!And this is not to say that these types of relationships are doomed from the beginning, as I have seen many successful partnerships bloom from situations that were not initially "islamic".
Love me and Love my deen? I think it does not work like this way when individuals are liberated individuals. And you live in a country of liberated individuals don't you?
Take individuals as they are and not in view to be changed or made to serve you in the context of your DEEN.
Regards,
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What on God's blessed Green Earth are you talking about Lotetree? Alright. I'll amuse you
But is that what you are after female/male friendships?
Did I say that? No. I love my friends, and love to make more, but not in this case.
Is not the aim of dating is to have a romantic liasion?
Thats my point.
If that is the case why pursue dates if you are only interested in friendship?
Again, I didn't say that.
Invest in womens physical, mental and sexual health - What are you after a DOCTOR? -)
Nope. I'm looking for someone who is going to put a similar amount of effort and commitment into the relationship as I will.
Men expecting full access to a womens body - look for sexual compatible partners Salikah.
If you are frigid then find a man that is frigid. If you want a man to be a monk - then hey go to a monastery or something!
You got it wrong again, my friend. I prefer the spiritual super freak, myself. twisted Is that too much to ask? But i'm getting too personal now. Lets keep that hush ops
In my case, when the access is denied, men are off and running to someone who will give them what they want.
If you are not sexually compatible - what do you expect?
They are not going to stick around and clean your oven in hope that they might get a bit!Dammit. And I thought that having them do my chores would get them to stay. You read my mind, LoteTree. roll
Love me and Love my deen? I think it does not work like this way when individuals are liberated individuals. And you live in a country of liberated individuals don't you?
So you seem to think....
Take individuals as they are and not in view to be changed or made to serve you in the context of your DEEN.
Yes! You are such a great reader. That's exactly what I meant when I said
I am not self righteous nor on the path to converting people to my understanding. I, basically, just go with the flow
.Peace.
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What on God's blessed Green Earth are you talking about Lotetree? Alright. I'll amuse you
Blessed are the amusers they will surely make people happy -)
But is that what you are after female/male friendships?
Did I say that? No. I love my friends, and love to make more, but not in this case.
This is what you wrote
Verbally I get respect, but men rarely usually stick around to be buddies. But I understand their position as sexual attraction can often get in the way of male/female "friendships".
and this is what I wrote
But is that what you are after female/male friendships?
Regards,
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Here are my words without context, best provided by you.
This is what you wrote
Verbally I get respect, but men rarely usually stick around to be buddies. But I understand their position as sexual attraction can often get in the way of male/female "friendships".
Add a little context for understanding....
When i make it known that if we have sex we will be maried, and im not ready for that commitment just for "getting off", i get a lot of respect. And i have made great girl freinds (not lovers) out of people who thought i was their ride for the night
.Verbally I get respect, but men rarely usually stick around to be buddies. But I understand their position as sexual attraction can often get in the way of male/female "friendships". Also, I think women are much more open to different expressions and situations regarding male/female relationships and sexuality insofar that they might be open to trying to have a "platonic" friendship in the first place.
And Viola! Its Salikah's perspective NOT out of context. Clearly, I was responding to Noah's post. Sorry you didn't pick up on that.
peace.
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And Viola! Its Salikah's perspective NOT out of context. Clearly, I was responding to Noah's post. Sorry you didn't pick up on that.
peace.You got me there Salikah, the context!
Does that mean its washing dishes for me? -)Regards,
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As Salaam Alaikum,
I honestly cannot wait until I begin dating seriously! It is going to be so fun. I want to be in love, and have a man who wants me deeply despite being annoyed with everything that I do... for some reason I just find that sooo hott.
when i start dating, I want to date with the intentions of finding a spouse... not just to date. I want to get to know this guy, meet his family, blah blah.
Of course we wont be having sex.
And is it just me or.... am I the only girl who actually doesn't really want to marry a virgin? lol. lol.
For some reason I want to marry a divorced man (with no kids!!!). I guess it's becuase I imagine myself with a guy whose about 5 years older than me... i imagine getting married around 22. loll ol.
It'll be so fun! lol
salaam
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Peace sis Salikah, & all,
It's a bit of a cultural problem innit? Having a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship in the Western world almost always imply having sexual relationship too. I get the idea that you want something more than just friendship, but less than sexual partners. I'll just say that if you're in a different culture, say Indonesian , the concept of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is still mostly like that more than friends, but it does not involve sex.
I can't speak of other cultures regarding the different views on dating though.
I agree with you and bro Noah, it can be hard. But who knows...
LoteTree raised an interesting suggestion the Deen club. I thought we already have that? This forum, that is.
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You got me there Salikah, the context!
Does that mean its washing dishes for me? -)Regards,
Oh, you're not getting off that easy. I've got something special in stored for you twisted twisted twisted twisted
scared Im not into bondage Salikah honest !!! I have an aversion to pain -)
Regards,