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sex before marriage

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  • S Offline
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    stillearning
    wrote on last edited by
    #151

    salaam jaxal

    Forced marriage / arrange marriage = potatoe / potaatoe looooolll

    no idea please explain.
    regards

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    • J Offline
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      Jaxal
      wrote on last edited by
      #152

      SaLaM stillearning

      Loooll its a joke. I guess it sounds better when said instead of written. But i tried.

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        unknownuser
        wrote on last edited by
        #153

        Well, it can be called a forced marriage when there are threats(death threats, suicide threats, heart-attacks, collapses etc) involved.
        In the case when the child approves for the matrimony though he/she is not in favour of such an arranged marriage, as the child doesnt want to hurt the parents , it becomes ' sacrifice'!

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          Jaxal
          wrote on last edited by
          #154

          SaLaM PM

          It dont have to be thread. The emotional drama can also do the trick. My mom wanted me to get married to this girl she choose for me. It was an arranged marriage. I was against that from the start. At first, the emotional black mail really got to me. And it was getting to me so bad that i NEARLY gave in. But i didnt. Not everyone does that. Sometimes, the emotional offensive works just as well has threats and what not.

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            unknownuser
            wrote on last edited by
            #155

            Hi Jaxal,
            Yeah, I know what u mean.
            Here are some Emotional blackmails
            'Why are we alive to see this day, to see our children disobeying us?,
            Is this how u repay us after all that we have done for u?
            do u only care about urself? how can u be so selfish?
            Is this how we get repaid for all those sacrifices we have made for u?

            And the more u revolt, there comes the 'heart attacks', collapses etc which will make u much more guilty.

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              unknownuser
              wrote on last edited by
              #156

              Jaxal,
              So, u escaped?
              Good for u!

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                Jaxal
                wrote on last edited by
                #157

                SaLaM PM

                Here are some Emotional blackmails
                'Why are we alive to see this day, to see our children disobeying us?,
                Is this how u repay us after all that we have done for u?
                do u only care about urself? how can u be so selfish?
                Is this how we get repaid for all those sacrifices we have made for u?

                BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl BAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

                There is sooo much more i can addd hahahahahhhhhahhaha

                And yes i did got out of it. I have not made many good decisions or choices in my life. So i guess this was important to me. No way im ruining the life of some innocent girl.

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                  stillearning
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #158

                  salaam

                  So, u escaped?
                  Good for u!

                  Good or bad we will never know. Only speculate>
                  regards

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                  • J Offline
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                    Jaxal
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #159

                    SaLaM stillearning

                    Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

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                      stillearning
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #160

                      salaam jaxal

                      Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

                      I dont suppose we can get her to varify you statement. wink

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                        unknownuser
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #161

                        Well, the chances that one ends up with a partner they fall in love, is less than 5% in an arranged marriage.
                        The odds are only as good as the first person u meet on the street today.
                        so, I guess, its always better to get out of it if one can, but the sad reality is not all can. Its a strange complex muddle.

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                          Jaxal
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #162

                          SaLaM stillearning

                          salaam jaxal

                          Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

                          I dont suppose we can get her to varify you statement. wink

                          Loooooll why would you wish that on some poor girl loooooll

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                            stillearning
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #163

                            salamm

                            Loooooll

                            Is this a southern expression. Not in any northern dictionary!
                            regards

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                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #164

                              Aalaikum salaam

                              Lol= laughigh out loudly wink

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                              • P Offline
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                                phoenix1
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #165

                                Salam.
                                Ok. dating's fine with me. But what i wanted to say was, that if dating goes to o far, then marriage becomes pointless. If you're going to live together, have sex, have children, then it doesnt make any difference whether your married or not. And the reason that's bad is because being married gives people a sense of committment (if your already married, might as well work on it), but if you're just "dating," then you dont have that committment, and you dont care that much about splitting up. That's what I wanted to say. And that is only my opinion based on my 16 year experience with life.

                                But i do agree with you, getting to know someone you're gonna marry is much better than having an arranged marriage. But, then again, if you feel that the "arranged" person is right for you, and you know him/her well, then i dont think an "arranged" marriage is such a bad idea.

                                And Jaxal, i think i'm gonna go through the same thing in a few years. wink

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                                  unknownuser
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #166

                                  Peace to all

                                  sorry I only read the first 4 pages and here is my notes

                                  1. In the Islamic marriage, simply the husband has to pay 2 things

                                  commonly known as

                                  "Shabkah"

                                  "Mahr"

                                  the Shabkah is a gift to the bride

                                  The Mahr is given to the bride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                                  so it is not a fee to sleep with the woman, there is no such thing that inclination as such

                                  as far as I know Zani and Zania, covers married and unmarried humans

                                  the forgivness promised in the verse posted by Taj, is for the prostitutes who were forced into prostitution

                                  the logic that desperation makes prostitution ok, is funny and will not stand any sense as exctracted from the Quran, I will try to find a few verses later, in fact based on that flawed logic, murder due to desperation should be OK, or any crime due to desperation should be ok

                                  prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                                  prostitution also destroys families including children

                                  a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                                  peace to all

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                                    sayeeth
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #167

                                    Peace be upon you AhmedBahgat,

                                    Peace to all
                                    the Shabakah is a gift to the pride

                                    The Mahr is given to the pride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                                    Just a minor correction done for you. It's bride. Gift to the pride and pride family just sounded wrong. Apologies for nit-picking. Communication is a powerful tool. We don't want people who are linguistically declined in English to get the wrong idea.

                                    prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                                    prostitution also destroys families including children

                                    a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                                    peace to all

                                    If prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race, then why is it theoretically one of the oldest known professions? The human race sure seems well protected with prostitution in its place. As far as I know, even safe sex is encouraged at brothels. Prostitutes are even sent for checkups, courtesy of their pimps. Sort of like, they want to keep their goods in good condition until wear and tear occurs. So theoretically again, prosititution is "safer", well at least here in Singapore. As much as we may want to protect the human race from such adversities, we cannot stop them from going on. The more we protect, the more another will overcome the protection. The more we forbid it, the more the sexually deprave human will want it. That is what actually will keep going. On our end, just educate the people we know about such things and hope they don't go get jiggy with those prostitutes. If they choose to, then too bad. Just safeguard ourselves. I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to share your views. Cheers.

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                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #168

                                      Peace to all

                                      Here is a verse from the Quran that will prove beyond doubt that Zani or Zania also covers the single people

                                      ?Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.?

                                      (3)

                                      -> Can you figure it out from the above?, let me explain, it is really simple

                                      -> Allah is telling us that the Zani DOES NOT MARRY BUT A ZANIA LIKE HIM OR A MUSHRIKA and the Zania DOES NOT MARRY BUT A ZANI LIKE HER OR A MUSHRIK

                                      I.E. the Quran described single humans as being Zani or Zania

                                      I reckon the above verse should refute that argument for good

                                      Peace to all

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                                      • S Offline
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                                        sayeeth
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #169

                                        Salaam Sayeeth,

                                        You have a very wise and sound way of expalining things )

                                        Peace be upon you Sister Majidah,

                                        I am still very young and far from being wise and sound. However, thank you for your encouraging words. Cheers.

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                                          unknownuser
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #170

                                          Peace be upon you AhmedBahgat,

                                          Peace to all
                                          the Shabakah is a gift to the pride

                                          The Mahr is given to the pride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                                          Just a minor correction done for you. It's bride. Gift to the pride and pride family just sounded wrong. Apologies for nit-picking. Communication is a powerful tool. We don't want people who are linguistically declined in English to get the wrong idea.

                                          thank you bro, no apologies required, I actually suffer from a spelling disorder big times, I lived a couple of years in the states before I moved to australia 15 years ago, hence I have 17 years experience talking english, but typing was far less lol

                                          prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                                          prostitution also destroys families including children

                                          a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                                          peace to all

                                          If prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race, then why is it theoretically one of the oldest known professions?

                                          I believe for two main reasons

                                          1. Sex is one of the biggest Fitna "Test" Allah has forced unto us
                                          2. Humans don't abide by Allah's laws

                                          The human race sure seems well protected with prostitution in its place.

                                          I don't mean extinction rather living this life while suffering from a huge list of STDs, sure the human race has weaken, I'm sure they used to live longer in the past

                                          As far as I know, even safe sex is encouraged at brothels. Prostitutes are even sent for checkups, courtesy of their pimps.

                                          sure, Satan is doing a great job, he makes prostitution look great for many humans, have you ever watched Jerry Springer

                                          Jerry, Jerry, Jerry lol

                                          Sort of like, they want to keep their goods in good condition until wear and tear occurs. So theoretically again, prosititution is "safer", well at least here in Singapore.

                                          well, then I will just take it as an order from my God and I have to abide by it, like the pig meat, you know it tastes good and seems no harm in it but Allah has prohibited it so I have to abide by it, you see this life is nothing but a TEST

                                          As much as we may want to protect the human race from such adversities, we cannot stop them from going on. The more we protect, the more another will overcome the protection. The more we forbid it, the more the sexually deprave human will want it. That is what actually will keep going. On our end, just educate the people we know about such things and hope they don't go get jiggy with those prostitutes. If they choose to, then too bad. Just safeguard ourselves. I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to share your views. Cheers.

                                          true, but the point is we are living a test, and this is a very serious context, especially if the Examiner is a very powerful entity that most of us if not all can not comprehend Its Might

                                          Peace bro and please feel free to fix my spelling lol

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