How Do I Find a Non-Hadith Spouse?

NoProgressive

As Salaam Alaikum,

Okay I'm still young. Actually just 16, still in high shcool. And well though marriage probably wont be for until like 5-7 years from now... i wonder how am I possibly going to find somoene who does not practice hadith?!!

And that's not the only issue really when it comes to hadith, but how much "tradition" does he follow and how much does he not.

For instance, the two Eids

Though I believe that the Eid that is celeberated after hajj, is in the Quran (God say to celebrate his name after they come from Mount Arafat, as we did our fathers ).... I don't believe that there is anything talking about the Eid after Ramadan in the Quran.

Personally, despite that, I do celebrate the Eid after Ramadan, but I am very clear to know that this is not what religion has prescribed, etc. I mean I like to mark the end of Ramadan, and to me, in my mind at least, I am very clear on how this is not religion (God forgive me if it really is).

To me it's like finishing a big project, and then marking it with a feast or a paty. Kind of like an awards show.. have the show, than have the after party. lol.

But my ex step-mother she isn't down with Eid at all. lol. (she is a no hadith person aswell). I have to say though, she is a really religous person, and has always been like that (even when she was practicing hadith, she sitll had that religious vibe)... so everything is very clear and cut to her... so she doesn't do it all. SHe detest's it.

And that is what I am afraid of.

How open-minded will my "non-hadith" husband be when it comes to tradition?

Really Eid is the only "tradition" (besides hijab) that I follow actually, so I don't think that I will have many problems as someone who does follow a lot of tradtions.

But still...... would my husband be up for that? And what if he follows a lot???

But back to the original issue at hand.... how do I find that "non-hadith" husband?

I think that my only way willl probably be through the internet (but maybe things will change by the time I start actually looking) and connecting to other poeple who share my views through forums like this.

I'm not settling for somoene who does not share my views on somehting so important (though I don't mind disagreement in some issues).

My mom doesn't practice hadith as well, but my father does believe in the hadiths.

Once I was talking to my mom about this, and she was like

"When your dad tells me not to pray when I am on my period, I don't in front of him. But when he leaves, I do"
.

I can't live like that!!! in my household, with my children.

So I am wondering.... for those of you who are single, do you wonder about this too? And what are your thoughts?

For those of you who are married, are you married to somoene who does not practice hadith? If not, how is your marriage affected? For those of you who are, how did you find this person?

salaam

unknownuser

Marry for LOVE and all will be well (hadith or no hadith) wink

Regards,

Jaxal

SaLaM NP

You will find that we dont always get what we want. And no matter who you marry, people can change. So maybe at first he wont be like what you thought your husband should be like. But maybe your love for him can change him. Or the other way round.

Wakas

peace,

The way you may wish to think about it, is all the traditional Muslims you meet are simply like how you were before (this is of course assuming you at one point believed/followed traditional Islam). Thus all are potentially receptive to your way of thinking.

Specific beliefs are not as important as having the mindset recommended in al-quran, in my opinion. Of course, core beliefs such as belief in God and trying to lead a righteous life would be non-negotiable, I would imagine.

Wakas

savage_carrot

For those of you who are, how did you find this person?

We found things along the way, together mostly. Discussion/communication is very important and to second bro Wakas' advice, the mindset and the basics.

Prince

For those of you who are, how did you find this person?

We found things along the way, together mostly. Discussion/communication is very important and to second bro Wakas' advice, the mindset and the basics.

Your very lucky to find somenoe on the same level as you!!

PEACE

savage_carrot

Your very lucky to find somenoe on the same level as you!!

I doubt luck has anything to do with it

Vizard

For those of you who are married, are you married to somoene who does not practice hadith? If not, how is your marriage affected?

Hmm, Ill talk about myself okay? lol

A non hadith spouse..... will I be worse off since I have a Christian girlfriend even, and we're planning to get married already? I attend the Sunday Mass with her sometimes, celebrated Christmas together, fasted together during both our religious obligations and observe some of our religiously significant days together again. D While more of my girlfriend, she recognizes I have to pray five times a day (I'm still a hadithist) and go to the mosque every friday.

We're still no less of a Muslim and Christian respectively, and we both acknowledge refusing to be converts to each other. I don't want to be a Christian firstly because of course, about the Trinity thing. My girlfriend, shes scared to be a Muslim because of strict rules & rituals, especially the hijab --> she'll roast in it. Haha. Kinda petty reasons but we're working well within the framework of both of our religion and there really hasnt been any conflicts, little or huge ever since we're attached. Taking up certain religion, we're all trying to please God within our own understanding.

For her to take part in Ramadan and Eid with me, she just follows me because she thinks we ought to do things together. She doesnt have to believe in the "holiness" of such months, for her its a harmonious social activity for our relationship and of our own families. Shes doing something more that makes the relationship happier. I'm glad for that. Likewise with me. Hahaha.

Prince

Your very lucky to find somenoe on the same level as you!!

I doubt luck has anything to do with it )

I know there's no such thing as luck but more of God's blessing. I should have said that instead of luck - no such thing!!!!

PEACE

warda

how do I find that "non-hadith" husband?

If I only knew ... wait

Elke

Peace Vizard,

as long as you agree on the fact that there only is one god and are tolerant persons where should be the problem ? Wish you luck for your future marriage. Problems may pop up when hildren come though, at least if each one of you is too attached to specific rituals.

LK

Komla

Simple question,i expect to have many views,does the quran forbids to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend,knowing that you will not fornicate with her???

Jaxal

SaLaM Komla

The Qurans asks us to respect the other person. So , i believe, that we can have a gf or bf as long as we respect them. Kissing, holding hands and all that are OK in my view, but no sex.

TAJ

Salam Komla, All

Simple question,i expect to have many views,does the quran forbids to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend,knowing that you will not fornicate with her???

Here is a thread about that
http//www.free-minds.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4474&start=0

TAJ

Peace NoProgressive,

If you are strong, confident and smart enought to know your rights in the marriage and most important your right of "3issmah" the right to divorce/end your marriage if the going gets tough, then fear nothing. Just pick a man who does not have a problem with his self-esteem, someone who is confident of himself yet genuinely kind because even if the time comes where he (might) disagrees with you he still won't hurt you.

SwedenMajidah

Salaam,

I think this differ between ppl.

My personal opinion about this is that LOVE can't solve everything, it's very hard to have a spouse who have too much different beliefs than yourself.

I love my husband who is a sunni but we have decide to get divorced because we can't be happy with eachothers differencies anymore.

So I'm also looking for a spouse who have more similar thoughts and beliefs like myself, but there must be LOVE also not only respect and understandings.

So I really wish you Allah's mercy upon you to find the right one for you.

Peace Sis Maria

Vizard

Peace Vizard,
as long as you agree on the fact that there only is one god and are tolerant persons where should be the problem ? Wish you luck for your future marriage. Problems may pop up when hildren come though, at least if each one of you is too attached to specific rituals.
LK

Thanks, trying not to have children though. They are devils disguised in little short people's skin suits. twisted

true_way

salam
To find suitable person, we must share our ideas with others
Belive me it is a very big problem for m?slims(SAYS NON HADTH)!..

Bu with internet it will be easer
We must work hard for God and must be honest....
God will help us.....

TheNabi

Peace Pro

According to my knowledge God would rather us to marry those who walk the same path with/as us/ourselves and to steer clear of certain distractions or detractors.

Yet there is no rule that I know of which forbids one to marry another who may be living a totally different system. The nabiyy/mumin of God were married to opposers , but they did not allow their spouses to detain them from union with God.

If you want to talk to a single guy who may share your views I'm available and there are sure to be others. My advice, for now and perhaps till your time here expires, patiently persevere .

Joe

ichephren

Yet there is no rule that I know of which forbids one to marry another who may be living a totally different system. The nabiyy/mumin of God were married to opposers , but they did not allow their spouses to detain them from union with God.

Nabi, I am not so sure about that. Lot and the wife of the Pharoah were given guidance after they had already married their spouses. There is no rule that we must divorce those who are opposers, however, I don't think that we can enter into marriages with those who we know are opposers. Of course those who are guided by God can be found in almost every category of people, so I guess it's on a case by case basis.