Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?
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JAXAL JAXAL JAXAL!!!!!!!!
HOW WILL THIS END???
Majidah
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No sweet LoteTree not just any guy.
I think it's got something to do with whipping Jaxal.I am glad to hear that Tahira -)
Regards,
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Hi Guys,
Here's a piece of news I came across today.
The outcome of an arranged marriage.evilNovember 22, 2005 Deccan Herald
Greed for dowry claims a life on Ramzan feast
DH News Service Bangalore
For Noor Jaan alias Jelu (22), the day of Ramzan festival turned out to be a day of starvation and torture in the hands of her sadistic husband Shoukath Ali.For Noor Jaan alias Jelu (22), the day of Ramzan festival turned out to be a day of starvation and torture in the hands of her sadistic husband Shoukath Ali. She arranged for the feast after borrowing some money from her brother. When she served the food to Ali (25) who expected her to be starving when he returned, he set her ablaze and sat on the cot with her seven-month old child watching her burn. He guffawed when she writhed with pain and asked her ?Are you enjoying it??.
She narrated this to the police and Dr M Shankarappa at Victoria Hospital before her death on Sunday. She battled for life for nearly a fortnight in three hospitals.
Jelu had married Ali 21 months ago. She stayed with her in-laws in J J Nagar during the initial days of her marriage, where her in-laws -Shamsunnisa, Suban Saab, Yaseen and Keshar started harassing her for dowry. Husband Ali even set all her clothes on fire dubbing them as ?cheap?. Jelu lodged a complaint with JJ Nagar police when her sister-in-law Keshar burnt her hand with a heated knife.
But the police settled the dispute and Ali and Jelu started living separately in a rented house at Gangondanahalli. However, the torture did not stop.
He started forcing her to get Rs 50,000 from her parents, which she failed to arrange. He punished her by keeping her starved on the day of Ramzan feast. Jelu?s brother Salim, who visited her gave her Rs 50 and a new salwar kameez.
Ali who was enraged by this, assaulted her and set her ablaze after bolting the door from inside. She broke open the door and ran out screaming for help.
The neighbours admitted her to a private hospital. Chandra Layout police have registered a case of murder against Ali and dowry harassment against Jelu?s in-laws.
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Peacefulmuslim
That article sickens me. The poor girl, I could just imagine what she must have gone through when she realised what he was about to do with her.
Where was her family when all this was going on?
I bet they are just like the rest of the parents in the world that force their daughters to get married and then turn away blindly when the poor girls need help.
They should get punished too for ignoring her. -
Hi Tahira,
That article sickens me. The poor girl, I could just imagine what she must have gone through when she realised what he was about to do with her.
Where was her family when all this was going on?
I bet they are just like the rest of the parents in the world that force their daughters to get married and then turn away blindly when the poor girls need help.
They should get punished too for ignoring her.Yeah. Its quite sad how women get treated by sadistic sick men.
As for the girl's family, they live and believe in a society where divorce is a dirty word and the girl is expected to live at her husband's no matter what.
Its very sad. -
As Salaam Alaikum,
I must not know how to read, becuase when I was reading... it did not say that tehy had an arrange marriage. shock So how exactly does this have to do with arrange marriages?
And how in the world do you all know that this girl was forced to marry him?
Women in my country, America, are killed everday by their husbands and boyfriends.. who they knew before marrying them.
So PLEASE do not act as if domestic abuse and murder only happen in marraiges were it was an arraged marriage or forced one.
If anything the last 3 comments, just represent a classic case of racial profiling... "Oh SOuth Asian? It mus of been a forced marriage".
You want to talk about issues? Be real with the issues, not someone who does the propraganda.
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Hi Noprogressive,
As Salaam Alaikum,
Welcome to the thread.)
I must not know how to read, becuase when I was reading... it did not say that tehy had an arrange marriage. shock So how exactly does this have to do with arrange marriages?
And how in the world do you all know that this girl was forced to marry him?Becoz in the society where she comes from, thats the only norm, especially among the poor.
Women in my country, America, are killed everday by their husbands and boyfriends.. who they knew before marrying them.
These are different issues. Men abuse women all around the world. But in these cases, Women are almost handed over to men they know nothing about.
So PLEASE do not act as if domestic abuse and murder only happen in marraiges were it was an arraged marriage or forced one.
No one said that. But arranged marriages in India and some other countries have a larger share of violence and abuses(manily dowry related). Do a google search of ''dowry deaths in india''. Here's one for a start Rising number of dowry deaths in India
If anything the last 3 comments, just represent a classic case of racial profiling... "Oh SOuth Asian? It mus of been a forced marriage".
U should propably write to the news daily and ask them.
Propably they can convince u. )
peace, girl.
And anyways, I am southasian too. So, I do know what I am talking about.You want to talk about issues? Be real with the issues, not someone who does the propraganda.
Whats unreal about a news article?
Peace!
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Pity we did'nt get more guys like you up here 2Pac-Notts.
We got all the whimpy women suppressors.The women suppressors aint men in that case lol lol
I find some asian girls in hijab very nice but its all about how you can approach them without making them feel offended when you want to get to know them abit better wink lol
PEACE
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Peace,
Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?
Why live like on the time of the prophet?
We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.
Peace Sis Majidah
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SaLaM
Wearing hijab isnt haram and neither is it a bad thing. Girls look really attractive in their hijabs. I dont find it revolting or i dont feel like i cannot approach them. Infact i have approached girls wearing hijab and it turned out to be a nice evening.
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Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?
Why live like on the time of the prophet?
We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.
Wearing hijab is just like wearing any other modest attire. Nothing 'islamic'
about it. So, women who like to wear it ,can and women who dont like it, need not. -
As SAlaam Alaikum,
Becoz in the society where she comes from, thats the only norm, especially among the poor.
And I fail to understand how she was forced to marry the guy?! Where is the evidence for this? Wear is the evidence that this was arranged?! For all you know they could of been together for months before they were even engaged.
These are different issues. Men abuse women all around the world. But in these cases, Women are almost handed over to men they know nothing about.
And often when people marry someone they discover they knew nothing about them. Along with boyfriends, they discover they knew nothing about them but yet they are dating them.. and often in just the few dates there are signs of abuse already
And anyways, I am southasian too. So, I do know what I am talking about.
I never said that you don't know what you are talking about. But reality is domestic abuse is not just in arrange marriages. it is many marriages. Are you goign to quote anotehr domest abuse case that was a "love marraige" as "another ending to a love marriage"?
Many arrange marraiges are not bad. Many girls are not forced to marry either.
salam
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As Salaam ALiakum Sweden,
Peace,
Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?
Why live like on the time of the prophet?
We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.
Peace Sis Majidah
Why ar you trying to tell women how to dress? What is "old" is telling women how to dress and making them dress the way you deem acceptable. What is "foward" is allowing them to dress how they please.
salaam
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Salam NoProgressive
Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.
Regarding your comment on hijab. I thought we (women)had a choice in this matter.
I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress. -
As Salaam Aliakum Tahira,
Salam NoProgressive
Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.
Sorry to read that happened to you, but that's great htat your husband turned out to be a just man.
I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.Lol. No gurl! I'm saying the exact opposite.
the "them" in that sentence is referring to women.
"how they please" is a phrase that is about people choosing whatever they like.
salaam
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Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive
Thanks for correcting me luv.
Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.
Why does the word arranged always get connected to the word forced?
We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage. -
salaam all
You guys are so lucky you're not living in pakiford. OOPS i meant bradford. It is like the Big Apple for immigration up here.
Perfect comments for any racist website.
Any hard evidence to back up what seems to be the overwhelming view on this forum that those from the Indian subcontinent are predominantly living in loveless and miserable marriages!
regards -
Salam StillLearning
Do you think muslims everywhere are living perfect happy lives. Racists don't need our website to be racist thats who they already are.
Have you lived in Bradford 3? Do you know what people are like there?
I lived there 11 years and the people living there made my life a living hell. These people weren't Racists they were muslims. The majority of Bradford 3 are muslims. The area i was living in had about 7 streets. All muslims except for 3 households. They all new each other(they were from the same parts of Afghanistan) and some were related.
They started picking on us because i don't wear hijab.They harassed us on a daily basis (please let me know if you want details of what they did to us, You know HARD EVIDENCE). We had to move out of our home in August this year because they threatened to set our house on fire. -
As Salaam Alaikum Tahira,
Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive
Thanks for correcting me luv.
Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.
Because of stereotypes. Poeple in different societies, often look at other societies as savages and uncivilized people. Though abuse is prevelant in thier own neighborhoods and cities, they make comments as if domestic abuse never happens where they are from.
We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.I agree totally. Becuase like I said, you have to understand the culture. And while there are many people inside of that culture that dread the day when thier parents start talking about a potential spouse, many poeple do look foward to it and welcome it.
Like I said about my friend, he's Indian. Born and Bred in America... but whenever he is asked about maybe having an arrange marriage he never ever rules it out. (by the way he is not Muslim, therefore does not have some type of "traditionalist" thinking lol).
salaam
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salam NoProgressive
I would also like to add that arranged marriages and forced arranged marriages also happen in other cultures and religions too.So its not just a muslim thing. The difference is that they don't have the Quran to tell them that forced arranged marriage is wrong and we do yet we continue this practice.