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  4. Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Issues / Questions
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  • P Offline
    P Offline
    Prince
    wrote on last edited by
    #192

    Pity we did'nt get more guys like you up here 2Pac-Notts.
    We got all the whimpy women suppressors.

    The women suppressors aint men in that case lol lol

    I find some asian girls in hijab very nice but its all about how you can approach them without making them feel offended when you want to get to know them abit better wink lol

    PEACE

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      SwedenMajidah
      wrote on last edited by
      #193

      Peace,

      Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

      Why live like on the time of the prophet?

      We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

      Peace Sis Majidah

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      • J Offline
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        Jaxal
        wrote on last edited by
        #194

        SaLaM

        Wearing hijab isnt haram and neither is it a bad thing. Girls look really attractive in their hijabs. I dont find it revolting or i dont feel like i cannot approach them. Infact i have approached girls wearing hijab and it turned out to be a nice evening.

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          unknownuser
          wrote on last edited by
          #195

          Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

          Why live like on the time of the prophet?

          We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

          Wearing hijab is just like wearing any other modest attire. Nothing 'islamic'
          about it. So, women who like to wear it ,can and women who dont like it, need not.

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          • N Offline
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            NoProgressive
            wrote on last edited by
            #196

            As SAlaam Alaikum,

            Becoz in the society where she comes from, thats the only norm, especially among the poor.

            And I fail to understand how she was forced to marry the guy?! Where is the evidence for this? Wear is the evidence that this was arranged?! For all you know they could of been together for months before they were even engaged.

            These are different issues. Men abuse women all around the world. But in these cases, Women are almost handed over to men they know nothing about.

            And often when people marry someone they discover they knew nothing about them. Along with boyfriends, they discover they knew nothing about them but yet they are dating them.. and often in just the few dates there are signs of abuse already

            And anyways, I am southasian too. So, I do know what I am talking about.

            I never said that you don't know what you are talking about. But reality is domestic abuse is not just in arrange marriages. it is many marriages. Are you goign to quote anotehr domest abuse case that was a "love marraige" as "another ending to a love marriage"?

            Many arrange marraiges are not bad. Many girls are not forced to marry either.

            salam

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              NoProgressive
              wrote on last edited by
              #197

              As Salaam ALiakum Sweden,

              Peace,

              Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

              Why live like on the time of the prophet?

              We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

              Peace Sis Majidah

              Why ar you trying to tell women how to dress? What is "old" is telling women how to dress and making them dress the way you deem acceptable. What is "foward" is allowing them to dress how they please.

              salaam

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              • T Offline
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                Tahira
                wrote on last edited by
                #198

                Salam NoProgressive

                Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.

                Regarding your comment on hijab. I thought we (women)had a choice in this matter.
                I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
                Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.

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                  NoProgressive
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #199

                  As Salaam Aliakum Tahira,

                  Salam NoProgressive

                  Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.

                  Sorry to read that happened to you, but that's great htat your husband turned out to be a just man.

                  I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
                  Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.

                  Lol. No gurl! I'm saying the exact opposite.

                  the "them" in that sentence is referring to women.

                  "how they please" is a phrase that is about people choosing whatever they like.

                  salaam

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                  • T Offline
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                    Tahira
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #200

                    Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive

                    Thanks for correcting me luv.

                    Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.
                    Why does the word arranged always get connected to the word forced?
                    We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
                    So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.

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                      stillearning
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #201

                      salaam all

                      You guys are so lucky you're not living in pakiford. OOPS i meant bradford. It is like the Big Apple for immigration up here.

                      Perfect comments for any racist website.

                      Any hard evidence to back up what seems to be the overwhelming view on this forum that those from the Indian subcontinent are predominantly living in loveless and miserable marriages!
                      regards

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                      • T Offline
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                        Tahira
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #202

                        Salam StillLearning

                        Do you think muslims everywhere are living perfect happy lives. Racists don't need our website to be racist thats who they already are.

                        Have you lived in Bradford 3? Do you know what people are like there?
                        I lived there 11 years and the people living there made my life a living hell. These people weren't Racists they were muslims. The majority of Bradford 3 are muslims. The area i was living in had about 7 streets. All muslims except for 3 households. They all new each other(they were from the same parts of Afghanistan) and some were related.
                        They started picking on us because i don't wear hijab.They harassed us on a daily basis (please let me know if you want details of what they did to us, You know HARD EVIDENCE). We had to move out of our home in August this year because they threatened to set our house on fire.

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                          NoProgressive
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #203

                          As Salaam Alaikum Tahira,

                          Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive

                          Thanks for correcting me luv.

                          Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.

                          Because of stereotypes. Poeple in different societies, often look at other societies as savages and uncivilized people. Though abuse is prevelant in thier own neighborhoods and cities, they make comments as if domestic abuse never happens where they are from.

                          We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
                          So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.

                          I agree totally. Becuase like I said, you have to understand the culture. And while there are many people inside of that culture that dread the day when thier parents start talking about a potential spouse, many poeple do look foward to it and welcome it.

                          Like I said about my friend, he's Indian. Born and Bred in America... but whenever he is asked about maybe having an arrange marriage he never ever rules it out. (by the way he is not Muslim, therefore does not have some type of "traditionalist" thinking lol).

                          salaam

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                            Tahira
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #204

                            salam NoProgressive

                            I would also like to add that arranged marriages and forced arranged marriages also happen in other cultures and religions too.So its not just a muslim thing. The difference is that they don't have the Quran to tell them that forced arranged marriage is wrong and we do yet we continue this practice.

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                            • J Offline
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                              Jaxal
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #205

                              SaLaM

                              I think its becoz a cultural thing. Especially for 'muslims' in 'muslim' countries. I think it has to do more with culture than religion.

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                                unknownuser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #206

                                SaLaM

                                I think its becoz a cultural thing. Especially for 'muslims' in 'muslim' countries. I think it has to do more with culture than religion.

                                Whats religious about it? its purely cultural.

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                                • J Offline
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                                  Jaxal
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #207

                                  SaLaM PM

                                  are you asking me or telling me?

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                                  • U Offline
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                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #208

                                    SaLaM PM

                                    are you asking me or telling me?

                                    ) Jaxal, I just opined on it.
                                    the practice is not to do with religion. its more of tradition and culture. so, muslims and non muslims alike practice it, in countries.

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                                      Jaxal
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #209

                                      SaLam PM

                                      loooolll and i agree with you! D

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                                        Tahira
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #210

                                        So everyone here agrees that it is a cultural thing. How do we explain this to our parents(Not that i need to now).

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                                        • J Offline
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                                          Jaxal
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #211

                                          SaLaM Tahira

                                          Since when do parents listen to their children? D

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