InterFaith Marriage. Would You Do It? Have you done It?
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As Salaam Alaikum,
What do you think of interfaith marriages?
Would you marry a Christian or Jew?
Have you married one? Did it work out? If not, would you marry a non-Muslim again?
I don't think that I will marry a non-Muslim, no offense. I think that it would be too hard and it would be hard to raise my kids Muslims, if my husband doesn't make salat, read the Quran, etc,etc. And with times like these, in a way, I really feel that I need a Muslim spouse to understand me and what I go through in my Muslim Idenitity Crisis. lol.
what do you think?
salaam
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Peace,
Before going any further, what is your understanding of the word "Muslim"?
Anwar Azim
As Salaam Alaikum,
What do you think of interfaith marriages?
Would you marry a Christian or Jew?
Have you married one? Did it work out? If not, would you marry a non-Muslim again?
I don't think that I will marry a non-Muslim, no offense. I think that it would be too hard and it would be hard to raise my kids Muslims, if my husband doesn't make salat, read the Quran, etc,etc. And with times like these, in a way, I really feel that I need a Muslim spouse to understand me and what I go through in my Muslim Idenitity Crisis. lol.
what do you think?
salaam
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peace NP
in the sense of anwar (if i get him right) i can tell u that i married a "muslim" who was no muslim in my view of things. May be next time, if it happens again (doubtful), id rather take a respectful good human being...regardless of his official religion, who might be more of a muslim than was my ex-hubby
lk
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I know of a sunni muslim girl who is engaged to a catholic guy (you should see him, he kind of resemble davinci's depiction of Jesus lol ), anyway thought it was forbidden in sunni islam ? . Ok, me personally, though I would prefer someone with my views, I wouldn't mind marrying a Jew or Christian (or mulsim), but I would only marry the ones who are mentioned in the Quran. I don't know if I want to marry someone who'd want to teach our children things like the trinity and etc....the same goes for other "muslims" aswell (shia, sunni, sufi...etc) ?
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Salaam all,
Yeah it's not an easy task to decide who you gonna marry or not.
I have check around a bit and it end with alot of arguing.
I don't know if i'm odd but I find it hard to find a nice guy who share my views or if he share my views there can be other problems like he live in a country far away or have personal problems etc.
I don't want to marry wrong guy again hmmm ?
Peace Sis Maria
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As Salaam Alaikum,
What do you think of interfaith marriages?
Would you marry a Christian or Jew?
Have you married one? Did it work out? If not, would you marry a non-Muslim again?
I don't think that I will marry a non-Muslim, no offense. I think that it would be too hard and it would be hard to raise my kids Muslims, if my husband doesn't make salat, read the Quran, etc,etc. And with times like these, in a way, I really feel that I need a Muslim spouse to understand me and what I go through in my Muslim Idenitity Crisis. lol.
what do you think?
salaam
I married my grade school sweetheart who was Christian his whole life. Before I married him I needed an affirmation that he
1.) Called on God Alone
2.) Did not believe in the Trinity or Jesus as the begotten Son ...
3.) Understood I could never worship anything but God in Islam
4.) Understood that if we had children they would be raised with Islam and
5.) Would seriously explore his religious understanding and be open to accepting Islam one day....
We married in city hall as not to turn our marriage into the next family Crusade.
More on that subject at another time....
In the end I am thankful to God to say my husband became Muslim.
Prior to us getting married I found the Sunni way after having been raised on Quran my whole life. When word got out that my husband was not Muslim, I was driven to tears from my Sunni bro and sis trying to convince me I was committing fornication and that God did not honor my marriage.
Thank God, we persevered and God took care of the situation by bringing my Husband into Islam.
More on that subject at another time....
I am thankful, as I would rather have a person who believes in God Alone than someone with associative belief systems.
It would be too compromising to have to celebrate Christmas, praise Jesus ... (current day Christians), believe the Hadith were to be upheld as Quran ... (many current day Muslims), not acknowledge all the prophets including Mohammad and Jesus ... (current day Jews), have to deal with pork being prepared in my home or watch it at restaurants or deal with all the cultural and superstitious beliefs.
What I do wonder is why there is no place for single free-minds to meet? Does not the Quran say encourage adults to marry?
Where is the encouragement or facilitation for meeting among this audience of Muslims?
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Salaam Stephanie,
Wow sister, you did a brave thing!!!
I'm so glad that it worked out Masha Allah.
Peace Sis Maria
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Salaam everyone, I'm new here! I found the free minds website over a year ago and only came across it as I was searching the internet for information that would help me regarding my situation. It opened my eyes to so much. I am a muslim, brought up as a sunni. I have always loved islam, and found great comfort in the quran. My mother and father both fell in love at 16 and 18, he was a muslim and she wasn't. We were brought up as muslims and my mum did her best to help in that upbringing also. My mother converted over 10 years ago, and my father past away 4 years ago.
The problem i'm facing at the moment is that I have met someone who I intend on marrying he is not a muslim. As you can understand my brother and sisters are not happy about it. My mother isn't happy either as she worries about the upbringing of the children and the struggle I face with my own faith but she will support me no matter what i choose to do. I love my partner and his beliefs are similar to mine, he believes in one god and wants to help bring our possible futures children up as muslims also and he supports me more than I could of imagined.
When I read the quran and I have 3 times now I believe what I intend to do is not going against god, that he knows what is in my heart and god willing he will make the path easy for us. My family follow the hadeeths which I don't believe I can, as they were written after the death of prophet mohammad, and as it says in the quran over again, gods words never run out. He wouldn't have missed anything out, it is a guide directly from god, a way of life for all of mankind is it not?
I have read some of your messages and one that stuck in my mind was stephanie's, salaam, did you and your partner have a nikah? Me and my partner intend to get married next july. I would love to have an islamic wedding, did you and your husband? We intend to have a civil ceremony in Italy next year. I was thinking about going to a few mosques to speak to some imaam's before hand to ask their advice about possibly doing the nikah for us. I have doubts that they will but I would still like to try. I believe that god is enough of a witness for us, and he has always helped me whenever I have asked.
I hope some of you will reply, I need a few words of encouragement. Its hard when you know in your heart it is the right thing but everyone around you tells you its not because he is not a muslim.
Help me!
Thank you.
Salaam. x -
Salam,
There are many cases in southern Philippines where Muslim male married Christian female. Other Muslim female married Christian males. I know many here in Zamboanga City.
I have a cousin who married and live for many years with his christian wife and his wife converted to Islam after her retirement already.
God Bless.
hati
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Peace.
Yes, I'd marry a Christian or a Jew as long as they strictly believed in one God. But I think I might prefer someone who understands the Quran and implements it, however if they were sunni I'd have to think about it more carefully.
I hope some of you will reply, I need a few words of encouragement. Its hard when you know in your heart it is the right thing but everyone around you tells you its not because he is not a muslim.
Salaam niqbal, welcome to the forum! welcome
I hear ya on the tough situation. I say listen to your heart and always seek guidance from Allah. Your bro/sisters will have their own opinions, but remember, it's your life. Don't let anyone convince you that something is a sin, when Allah hasn't forbidden it. Good luck getting a nikah done by an imam, I wish you lots of luck. I hope it all goes well for you!
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niqbal, a marriage is cogent upon love, chemistry and pledge to bond; nothing esle should come inbetween. If you don't have an exit zone, then either wise up or firm up. And ah yes, never believe in fairy tales to justify reality.
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InterFaith Marriage. Would You Do It? Have you done It?
nope
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peace,
I think my experience there is a good lesson. Few years ago, I was engaged to be married to someone who was a 'muslim' at the time of the engagement, and turned out to be a betrayer (cheated and fornicated).
I must say I have no faith in women after my past experience.
7 1/2 months ago I married someone who was a mormon-christian; though a little confused. .But I knew she valued the truth, and logic when it came to 'religion'. I constantly reminded her of the signs in al-quran, though being expected for it to fall on deaf ears. And turned out she couldn't ignore the signs anymore and decided that mormonism isn't the way for her due to its logical fallacies (thank you southpark). As of now, she's very much a 'muslim'.
Lesson here is
Even if you marry someone who shares the same faith there's no guarantee they won't change their mind. Now I do believe I am the exception here rather than rule . The most important thing is that you find someone who's compatible with you, who believes in truth above all else, and who shares the same morals/ideals.
Good luck to all of you, I've certainly been blessed.
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Peace
I base it on what the Quran tells me to do.
DArgento, thank God she changed.
For me, I wouldnt marry until that person did accept God as God with no partners. I would stay friends with the women and if she changed only then I would marry her. If she didnt ascribe to any religion but believed in something higher, I would marry that person first than a Christian, since the Christian truely believes in more than just God.
Peace
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I've been lurking for months, and thought I would speak up on this one
As the Christian half of an interfaith marriage, Whatever my beliefs, I work to ensure that they don't interfere with my spouse's. I've agreed to rasing any children we have in Islam. There's no pork in the house. Before he moved in with me, I made sure to check and mark the Qibla for his prayers. This morning, when the clock went off, I woke up, set out his prayer rug, and started the coffee pot while he showered. While he prayed (Fajr), I showered. Then we had a nice cup of coffee and watched the news and talked about the things we needed to do today.
He goes to work later than I do, so I kissed him and headed off to the office.
This evening, I'll get home a couple of hours before he will. I'll vacuum and tidy up and cook dinner. He'll come home, make wuduu and pray (Maghrib) while I cook. Then we'll eat, he'll do the dishes, maybe watch some TV, talk to each other for a bit before Isha. During Isha, I'll usually take my night time shower, and turn down the bed. After that we talk some more. Maybe poke around for funny videos on youtube, muck with our budget, maybe he'll make a shisha, maybe he won't. We get tired, make sure the cat's fed and go to bed.
On Sundays, after Fajr, we'll have a nice breakfast, I'll take my time about getting showered and dressed, and I'll go to Church. He doesn't come with me, as much as I give him the time he takes to pray each day to be with God alone, I get the same courtesy about the time I take to go to Mass. When I come home, we'll have time for a quick lunch before he goes to work.
I defend his faith vehemently (one of the reasons I lurk here, I have to know what I'm defending) and his right to practice it freely.
Now I'm not saying all of this to show off or say "lookit what a good Christian spouse to a Muslim I am." What I am saying is that it takes work and courtesy from BOTH of us make it work. Love and mercy between us is mandated not only in the Bible but also in the Qu'ran. Respect, kindness, you know, all those things we so easily forget sometimes, but which are, I am finding, the ties that bind my faith to his. We talk about religion a lot, actually. And on the table there is a copy of the Bible (NIV) and the Qu'ran (Yusuf Ali's translation). We'll compare notes, read, share, discuss..and never argue. Where we disagree, we can only really agree to disagree, and remember to always be patient with the other and listen more than we talk.
Do we fight? You bet we do. But neither of us are much in the way of yelling and screaming. We will talk in circles around each other when we argue, since we get frustrated and forget to listen. Eventually though, one of us (usually him) remembers their common sense and helps to put our train back on its tracks. Our being so acutely aware of the huge differences between usur cultures and religions, makes us better able to pick the battles between us that matter. Socks on the floor? Not so important. Bills being paid? pretty darn important.
Being interfaith works for us because we work at it. It's not always easy. But the rewards, a loving kind husband who's heart and faith are in the right place, are SOOO worth it.
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Haha, ask my habibi, and he'll tell you he's happy, but I can be hell on wheels. I try to be thoughtful, but I am not very obedient. Almost every other sentence I say is a question..usually "Why?" And I'm American, so I can be a sort of personality steamroller. And stubborn. He probably feels like this brickwall a fair bit. His latest tactic is to suddenly speak a LOT less English when I start talking at him (as opposed to to him).
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I think I explained my outlook on the Trinity here http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=8744.15
He's Egyptian. His parents are thrilled. The Qu'ran says that people have the right to choose their spouse. And that chaste, believing women of the people of the book are allowed to him as well. His parents and I had a chance to talk several times before the Nikkah, and the impression I got from them was pretty much that they wanted someone for their son who would care for him, make him happy, help him to take care of his family, and crank out a couple of grandkids. (Because all parents want to be grandparents...revenge you know > )
As he intends to remain in America, it's probably easier for them to hold that perspective. Maybe things would be different in Egypt.
Yeah we call each other Habibi. There's even the "Special Tone" he uses when he knows he's done something that's going to bother me.