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  4. Marriage and muslim women?

Marriage and muslim women?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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  • S Offline
    S Offline
    Sanita
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Salamz all,

    I just finished reading your hallal and haram section on marriage, and i was wondering out of curiosity, since it is not mentioned on ur website- Is it thus by default, acceptable for a Muslim women to marry a non-muslim man, who is not an idolizer, but is monothistic in a sense

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    • A Offline
      A Offline
      AlFajr
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Salaam Sanita,
      I can't answer your question but lets see what the others have to say. I just would like to welcome you to the forum welcome

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      • A Offline
        A Offline
        Alen
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Salamz all,
        I just finished reading your hallal and haram section on marriage, and i was wondering out of curiosity, since it is not mentioned on ur website- Is it thus by default, acceptable for a Muslim women to marry a non-muslim man, who is not an idolizer, but is monothistic in a sense

        Peace,
        Respectfully.

        welcome welcome to the forum, dear sister.

        To answer your question

        55 Today, the good things have been made lawful to you, and the food of those who have been given the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them; and the protected from the believing women, and the protected from the people of the Scripture before you, if you have given them their dowries, protected, chaste, and not seeking to take lovers. And whoever rejects belief, then his work has fallen, and in the Hereafter he is of the losers.

        God bless you.
        Peace.

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        • A Offline
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          Al_Araf
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Salam sanita. Implied in your post is that you are a Muslim contemplating marriage with a non Muslim.

          Allah has established a had/limit, that a wife is to obey her husband. How will a Muslim woman comply with the had, if her husband demands that she not comply with the had?

          For example, if a Muslim woman gets up to make salat ul fajr, and her non Muslim husband tells her to make coffee. Which had of Allah should she violate? Should she make salat and disobey her husband, or should she make coffee and disobey Allah. In either case she is disobeying Allah.

          You may think, oh he will allow me to practice my faith, yes, in the good times. However, in the bad times, he may in anger cause you to violate the hudood. The nikah must work in the good times and the bad, it cannot work only in the good times.

          This is a simple reply, the more complicated response derives from a correct analysis of surah Al Nur. I am analyzing this surah at the moment, and find the translations have problems. The problem centers around the word zan and adultery. I will post an accurate rendition of the surah later. My preliminary understanding of this verse is that a momin can only marry a momin.

          Allah has eatablished the hudood.

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          • A Offline
            A Offline
            Al_Araf
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Salam sanita. The category of person you describe, "non-muslim, non idolater, monotheistic in a sense" is not found in the Quran. Secondly, "marriage" is not found in the Quran. What is found in the Quran is Nikah for believers. The closest I can come to the category you describe is found in surah Al Nur.

            Allah begins by saying, 241 This chapter is sent on you obligatory on you and in it are verses between what is said to you. 242 The prostitute and the prostitutee lash all of them one hundred lashes and do not let compassion move you in the faith of Allah in a matter prescribed by Allah if you believe in Allah and the final day and witness the destruction a party of the believers. 243 The prostitutee cannot nikah except a prostitute or an associatress, and a prostitute cannot be nikah except to a prostitutee or an associator. And these limits are on the momins.

            The use of the word farzanaha in the preamble to this surah is critical to comprehend the purpose of the surah. Farzahana means obligatory upon you. Obligatory means you have no choice in the matter, you are required to comply with the this surah regardless. I examined the word alzanitu and alzani, and find there is no Arabic root to these words, nor is there a Hebrew root to these words. however, there is an Aramaic root to these words. The Aramaic word is identical, and they mean prostitute and prostitutee. What Allah has to say next is that if there is a Muslim who associates anything with Allah, the momin is prohibited from a nikah with that person. Clearly Allah has categorized association along with prostitution. Allah has also absolutely prohibited a momim from a nikah with a person who has been with a prostitute, or a person who associates anything with Allah.

            If you are a momin, and associate nothing with Allah, and have not engaged in prostitution; until a man associates nothing with Allah, or if he has been a prostitutee, his nikah with you is prohibited.

            Allah is the one who accepts repentance and is merciful.

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            • L Offline
              L Offline
              liquiddharma
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Salamz all,

              I just finished reading your hallal and haram section on marriage, and i was wondering out of curiosity, since it is not mentioned on ur website- Is it thus by default, acceptable for a Muslim women to marry a non-muslim man, who is not an idolizer, but is monothistic in a sense

              Salams Sanita,

              I think all the teachings in the Quran are reversable unless it's specifically stated otherwise. Having said that, it's always important to know what your fiance expects of your relationship, religiously speaking, and that it is compatable with your personal faith.

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                Recluse
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                The Quran does not forbid Muslim women from marriage with "men of the Book". It states that men are allowed to marry "women of the book", but it does not mention women at all, which implies that it is not necessarily forbidden (perhaps discouraged), because when something is forbidden God mentions it explicitly.

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                • R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rev_John
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Salamz all,

                  I just finished reading your hallal and haram section on marriage, and i was wondering out of curiosity, since it is not mentioned on ur website- Is it thus by default, acceptable for a Muslim women to marry a non-muslim man, who is not an idolizer, but is monothistic in a sense

                  I hope so.

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                  • K Offline
                    K Offline
                    khadidjatu
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Salam sanita. Implied in your post is that you are a Muslim contemplating marriage with a non Muslim.

                    Allah has established a had/limit, that a wife is to obey her husband. How will a Muslim woman comply with the had, if her husband demands that she not comply with the had?

                    For example, if a Muslim woman gets up to make salat ul fajr, and her non Muslim husband tells her to make coffee. Which had of Allah should she violate? Should she make salat and disobey her husband, or should she make coffee and disobey Allah. In either case she is disobeying Allah.

                    With mutual consultations,does a wife fix a problem,like that.He wait,untill she is finished.The man you are talking about here,a tyrant,should not have a wife.

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                    • A Offline
                      A Offline
                      Alen
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      The Quran does not forbid Muslim women from marriage with "men of the Book". It states that men are allowed to marry "women of the book", but it does not mention women at all, which implies that it is not necessarily forbidden (perhaps discouraged), because when something is forbidden God mentions it explicitly.

                      Peace,
                      Respectfully.

                      I agree, good point.
                      God bless you.

                      Peace.

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                      • N Offline
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                        nsws1988
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Allah has established a had/limit, that a wife is to obey her husband.

                        Quranic evidence?

                        With mutual consultations,does a wife fix a problem,like that.He wait,untill she is finished.The man you are talking about here,a tyrant,should not have a wife.

                        bravo

                        I have a solution He can make his own coffee. Problem solved!

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                        • S Offline
                          S Offline
                          sarah2505
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          exactly. Why should she be the one to make him coffee anyway? It's really easy to make, and he should make a cup for her too

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                          • N Offline
                            N Offline
                            nsws1988
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            exactly. Why should she be the one to make him coffee anyway? It's really easy to make, and he should make a cup for her too

                            bravo

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                            • S Offline
                              S Offline
                              SarahY
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Al Araf

                              That's a bit ridiculous

                              Give me your evidence that Allah has established a hadd that a women must obey her husband? What?s the husband?s job? to boss the wife around?

                              So a person must never turn down any sort of offer otherwise that makes one a sinner. Sorry! the wife a sinner because you?re implicated the husband shouldn?t listen to the wife. Damn image she?s in the toilet and the husband commands her to make a coffee goodness, she?s going to hell people for being disobedient. Great logic mate. Seriously that?s silly, this almost sounds like sunnis. Normal people in normal relationships would listen to one another and compromise.

                              Things can screw up in good times and bad times even with ?momin?. People are human remember.

                              Something i noticed in the sunni world. Men who earn an income think they?re greater and worthy of obedience simply because they?re earning money.

                              Share your knowledge of hadood.

                              BTW i don?t entirely disagree, people mesh better with people who have similar focuses. Otherwise some might have hopeful intentions of 'one day they'll change' people have different criteria's depends what they go by.

                              Sanita
                              monotheistic in a sense? I'll quote the Irish on this one and say be sure, be sure, be sure, be sure and in case you didn't notice, be sure!

                              some things to keep in mind

                              • do you want to have children, if so how do you want to raise them and is there mutual agreement.
                              • does the other have full awareness of your belief
                              • are you prepared to live the rest of your life with them, as they are (can't expect them to change)

                              Salam

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                              • Q Offline
                                Q Offline
                                Q_student
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Al Araf

                                That's a bit ridiculous

                                Give me your evidence that Allah has established a hadd that a women must obey her husband? What?s the husband?s job? to boss the wife around?

                                So a person must never turn down any sort of offer otherwise that makes one a sinner. Sorry! the wife a sinner because you?re implicated the husband shouldn?t listen to the wife. Damn image she?s in the toilet and the husband commands her to make a coffee goodness, she?s going to hell people for being disobedient. Great logic mate. Seriously that?s silly, this almost sounds like sunnis. Normal people in normal relationships would listen to one another and compromise.

                                Things can screw up in good times and bad times even with ?momin?. People are human remember.

                                Something i noticed in the sunni world. Men who earn an income think they?re greater and worthy of obedience simply because they?re earning money.

                                Share your knowledge of hadood.

                                BTW i don?t entirely disagree, people mesh better with people who have similar focuses. Otherwise some might have hopeful intentions of 'one day they'll change' people have different criteria's depends what they go by.

                                Sanita
                                monotheistic in a sense? I'll quote the Irish on this one and say be sure, be sure, be sure, be sure and in case you didn't notice, be sure!

                                some things to keep in mind

                                • do you want to have children, if so how do you want to raise them and is there mutual agreement.
                                • does the other have full awareness of your belief
                                • are you prepared to live the rest of your life with them, as they are (can't expect them to change)

                                Salam

                                Peace ;
                                You are right.
                                The things can go vice versa.
                                The woman can go out to earn and run the house ,the husband should stay at home to
                                1 look after children/house
                                2Cook for the wife
                                Of course it seems ideal situation.
                                Regards

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                                • R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Rev_John
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Peace ;
                                  You are right.
                                  The things can go vice versa.
                                  The woman can go out to earn and run the house ,the husband should stay at home to
                                  1 look after children/house
                                  2Cook for the wife
                                  Of course it seems ideal situation.
                                  Regards

                                  I don't see a problem with that. Equality is the thing.

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                                  • Q Offline
                                    Q Offline
                                    Q_student
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    I don't see a problem with that. Equality is the thing.

                                    I would have been very happy if I am allowed to stay at home and my wife goes out to earn. It will be an ideal situation for me.
                                    Regards

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                                    • S Offline
                                      S Offline
                                      SarahY
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      No such thing as equality, well there is but I reckon people drum it in too much.

                                      People take on different roles, no biggie. What those roles are would depend on each relationship. people agree on different things, some might even rotate.

                                      most women work nowadays yet men still expect wonder women, good luck guys! Some men can cook and prefer cooking, some don't. even some couples don't even cook for themselves! they got inlaws/family, restaurant food bla bla bla.

                                      Everyone's mind is blocked on tradition i think

                                      BTW not all people have children in a relationship, it's funny how people think.

                                      I'd think if you cook, you cook for yourself and others. the way people put it is like a chore "cook for the wife".

                                      I would have been very happy if I am allowed to stay at home and my wife goes out to earn. It will be an ideal situation for me.
                                      Regards

                                      you lazy... haha kidding

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                                      • Q Offline
                                        Q Offline
                                        Q_student
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        No such thing as equality, well there is but I reckon people drum it in too much.

                                        People take on different roles, no biggie. What those roles are would depend on each relationship. people agree on different things, some might even rotate.

                                        most women work nowadays yet men still expect wonder women, good luck guys! Some men can cook and prefer cooking, some don't. even some couples don't even cook for themselves! they got inlaws/family, restaurant food bla bla bla.

                                        Everyone's mind is blocked on tradition i think P

                                        BTW not all people have children in a relationship, it's funny how people think.

                                        I'd think if you cook, you cook for yourself and others. the way people put it is like a chore "cook for the wife".

                                        you lazy... haha kidding

                                        peace
                                        BTW what you suggest for a family
                                        Husband + wife + two kids

                                        Situation - A

                                        Husband should go out for earning to run the house.
                                        Wife should stay at home looking after the house and children

                                        Situation - B

                                        Wife should go out for earning to run the house.
                                        Husband should stay at home looking after the house and children

                                        We are not talking about exceptional cases

                                        Regards

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                                        • S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          SarahY
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Dude I can?t give you a straight answer, every relationship differs there are too many variables and i ain?t talking exceptional cases. Ideally set roles have stability however they can still differ. They don?t have to be as concrete as ?you stay home cook clean, I work and make money?.

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