Islamic Bill of rights for women in the bedroom
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Salaam..
Now since ISLAM is a womens religion why do we have to post a womens bill of rights unless rights are not being respected. It seems a bit unbalanced to me.. The Quran gives us our woman rights so why should/do we have to talk about, remind or post about islamic bill of rights for women in the bedroom and a second one for the Masjid? I feel bad for my friend who is stuck in a oppresive marriage with a polygamous husband on whom she does not want to admit or accept is a polygamist. Im in between a rock and a hard place trying to be her friend if she is not trying to hear the truth. -
Yea,Im glad someone feels the same way. Im very lucky my husband left all his old sunni ways when he became a quranist/submitter.As for my friend, Its really bad for her, he is a truck driver home only 1 week out of 2 months, Hubby and I agree he has a another wife or 2 on the side becuase they live far worse than his income. My husband used to drive trucks too and he said for how they live and the thngs they need and whats not being met he has plural wives. She does not know about it of course and she is blind to the facts. I hate to see her loosing patience and faith in general and I have tried to tell her something is not right and she talks about the islamic bill of rights for women but still lets herself get walked all over. I just dont know what to do to help her anymore. Im almost to the point tot where giveup and let her deal with her own life but it just doesnt seem right of me to let herself do that to her. What would you do??
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I really don't know what more you can do other than talk to her. It might be easier to find out if there is some hotline she can call or someone she can email and give her the details. Sometimes people don't like to share their feelings with people they know.
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Thanks. You do have a good point. She has mentioned that she is loosing patience but wont say in what. I might try to nonchalantly leave her a hotline or a support group contact when we get together again. I know if that was me, I would not want everyone I am close too to know.
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Thanks. You do have a good point. She has mentioned that she is loosing patience but wont say in what. I might try to nonchalantly leave her a hotline or a support group contact when we get together again. I know if that was me, I would not want everyone I am close too to know.
but why you want to interfere in her peaceful life hmm
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Islam is for everyone (as nsws1988 pointed out) not just for women nor is it a religion rather a deen )
Now about this topic. Well before marrying him didn?t she know what his schedule was like? Just because some guy is a truckie doesn?t mean he is licentious/lewd and has women on the side..
She doesn?t know about him having plural wives but the assumption is he has plural wives/mistresses, there is no actual proof.. it?s just an assumptions, right? Possibly she needs to have a chat with her husband not just concern her thoughts to others.
I?d advise her to talk to her husband...
Even women have rights in a marriage, she should know that.. even amongst traditionalist.
peace
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She used to know his schedule, He has been a truck driver for 3 yrs now and for the last year and half things just have not been peaceful or feel right to her. They have a 9 yr old daughter and a 4 month old boy. He rarely calls when he is away and he does not bring home the amount of money that he should for being a out of town trucker with 3yrs experience. No bonuses or anything and she mentions she in loosing patience but she wont stand up against her husband. I have advised her to talk to him about it, and to stand up for her rights.. I am almost to the point where giveup trying to help her if she wont do anything about it herself.
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Peace sis )
Ok well I guess there is a lack of trust.. lack of trust isnt exactly the greatest thing to have in a relationship..actually prob one of the worst things.
How about she call him? Mobiles exist but not to the extent that she becomes obsessive?
Maybe he is slacking off and not getting bonuses..
anyway this lose of patience kinda reminded me of a verse. Dont take it to offense because its not intended
432 (Asad) Hence, do not covet the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on some of you than on others. Men shall have a benefit from what they earn, and women shall have a benefit from what they earn. Ask, therefore, God out of His bounty behold, God has indeed full knowledge of everything.
So many women like to fully take advantage of their mens income. Not saying she is but it is very common hence what made me remember this verse..
If he is providing for them the children herself its not a big deal if he does or doesnt bring in a bonus so long as he does his duties..right? if he does more than well God bless the guy.
She doesnt need to stand up with a bat in her hand or just yell or anything extravagant. But maybe chat, as what normal couples would do and then slid it in that shes concerned or feels upset because of bla bla bla. If shes not willing to do anything and only accept herself as a victim shes not really helping herself is she? Call is in her hands.
Possibly she needs to believe she has the ability to change her situation, until she believe that i have no idea what you can tell her. maybe tell her don't place a victim seal upon yourself but recognise you're capable of changing the situation. we can only listen to your complaints but we can't actively involve ourselves to help.
how does she expect you or her friends or the people she complains to, to help? i guess she's just venting out or probably scared...
Peace
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Yes I think its deeper than that, She says the bills are barely getting paid. She had to go apply for welfare to provide food. They live in a really bad cheap area. There bills are about $1,000 a month all together, and he is never home. The apartment needs repairs and they all need clothes they wear practially rags, There car is not working and just too many things. They have cell phones but he does not ever seem to call. I dont know anymore. I will pass the verses on to her but I think its deeper that what she has been telling me.
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Peace sis,
the intention wasn't to pass on the verse i just recalled it, that's all. Well if she can get support from welfare and she needs, i guess that's a good step. practically rags? she could go to the local op shop i'm sure she'd be able to get decent clothes at a cheap price.
she should call him..
anyway the real question is does she wanna stay in that marriage or not? and is she making effort to talk/work things out with him (that is agreeable on both sides)? I mean they'd both need to work it out when they're both in the right state of mind. God knows what her husband is thinking or issues he is in.
lack of communication = big problems
Inshallah things work out for her
salam
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They have a major lack of communication. She does want to stay with him and she is too fearful to go anywhere he gets very angry if she goes with another sister to the store or anything. I dont know I give up on it with her. I will share the information with her today when we meet up and thanks for your advice and suggestions.
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Yea,Im glad someone feels the same way. Im very lucky my husband left all his old sunni ways when he became a quranist/submitter.As for my friend, Its really bad for her, he is a truck driver home only 1 week out of 2 months, Hubby and I agree he has a another wife or 2 on the side becuase they live far worse than his income. My husband used to drive trucks too and he said for how they live and the thngs they need and whats not being met he has plural wives. She does not know about it of course and she is blind to the facts. I hate to see her loosing patience and faith in general and I have tried to tell her something is not right and she talks about the islamic bill of rights for women but still lets herself get walked all over. I just dont know what to do to help her anymore. Im almost to the point tot where giveup and let her deal with her own life but it just doesnt seem right of me to let herself do that to her. What would you do??
He's a truck driver? She should join him.
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Hahaha Well she put a boot up his a$$$$ as we could say and she forced him to get a new job and gods gift he has a new job that allows him to be home more and on a different route and schedule so whatever the situation she fixed that. LoLol yes I always thought it would be a little fun to be a truck driver just to travel the country and see places.
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Hahaha Well she put a boot up his a$$$$ as we could say and she forced him to get a new job and gods gift he has a new job that allows him to be home more and on a different route and schedule so whatever the situation she fixed that.
bravo Good for her!