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  4. Taking off the Hijab

Taking off the Hijab

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  • K Offline
    K Offline
    Kukumber
    wrote on last edited by
    #118

    Peace Ay. Thanks for the story.

    And I completely agree with Omeiza. A scarf on the head is just as much fashion as spaghetti straps and mini skirts.

    You have some interesting points Ay. As I said in my very first post, I admire those that wear the hijab, and I admire those that have the courage to take it off. So im not one of those that hates the hijab. I dont agree with your slippery-slope argument of taking off the hijab will over time lead to mini-skirts. God gave us a brain to use, and most of use it to determine whats appropriate or not. Theres lot of muslim girls/women who have never worn the hijab (head-scarf), never will, but will never show even an inch of their legs in public. Second I don't see the issue with mini-skirts. While, I have never worn one, and probably never will due to my cultural conditioning, who is this woman/girl hurting by wearing one. Absolutely no one, so there is no need to judge her.

    While I may find it hard to follow it all the time myself, I have this philosophy where we leave judgment to God in all instances except when one is being hurt. For example if a women is abusing her husband, we judge the woman, judge the situation, and get them both help.

    If you find any fallacy in my arguments, please point them out. I am only here to learn.

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      Sirius
      wrote on last edited by
      #119

      Wow just followed this discussion now... I also wear the hijab, but have been debating it with myself for maybe over 3 years now... like many have said, I used to wear it covering my neck etc... then I went to Spain and the Spanish muslims wear it in a gorgeous way, so copied their style (ish) and so now my neck shows (has been that way for over a couple of years) but I always have a thin polo top on so only half a neck really... then in the winter i wear beanies which are great for just running out to the shops or something... about taking it off completely... i did it once but felt guilty about it.... i dont want to take it off out of arrogance because im bored of wearing it... but at the same time i know its not in the quran... then again... it has helped me a lot... i dont think i would be so confident in dressing modestly if i wasnt wearing it... i have friends who took it off and the backlast was huge from the community but also i look at the way they dress now and the sleeves and pants get shorter and shorter as more time without hijab go by till they end up in spagetti tops and mini skirts... i dont want to end up that extreme either and im worried that if i take it off, a few years down the line thats what will happen because its so easy to get sucked into fashion and finding "solutions" to revealing clothes (eg. ill keep a cardigan over the spagetti top.. then that comes off / ill wear tights under my skirt ... they they go)
      Does that make sense? I think many people on this site hate hijab and have a very negative attitude towards it, but really i dont hate it... i just dont believe in it anymore...

      I think when someone has worn it for a while it becomes so hard to take it off... also im not looking forward to the extra morning time ill have to spend sorting my hair out before work.... lol

      I don't hate it. In my opinion, no one here has alluded to hating it or claimed that there are absolutely no positives to it. Does it help to stop you from focusing too much on your outer appearance? Yes. Does it help to stop you from dressing immodestly? Yes. Does it help with allowing you ease in your life? Yes. But the important question, is it a direct instruction from God to cover the hair?

      Sometimes, people make the right decisions but for the complete wrong reasons. Or perhaps, the reasons were right at a time but the intention changes, or indeed the person changes. Now I don't have any negative opinions of Hijab except the fact that as much as it can empower women, it can also make them want to slink into the background, it can be used as an oppressive tool and can alter how you interact with people because other people deem it unfit for a Hijabi. I don't hate the Hijab and if I were to ever take it off, I wouldn't go wild, start showing off my skin, spend hours in front of the mirror or begin flirting with every guy who looks in my direction because these are simply not my morals. My moral fabric (excuse the pun) isn't contained in a piece of cloth. It's within me. I also don't believe that Hijab is required to stop you from doing any of these things (many Hijabis do these things). There is nothing wrong with learning a lesson from covering your hair and then moving on to the next phase in your life without it and there is nothing wrong with deciding that you love the Hijab and it represents something extremely personal to you but that's where it seems to stop. No one here claims any religious attachment when they're wearing it outside and I personally don't feel any religious attachment to it except whilst in prayer.

      Following fashion isn't limited to non-Hijabi women, it's something that's actually increasingly apparent in the Hijabi community, in England and the US at least. I grew out of that phase and so too will the majority of people who believe it to be important, but if they do (think fashion is overly important) I think it's more to do with their own spirituality and world view as opposed to what they wear on their head. A common retort, one that I've always found myself propagating, is that Hijabi and Non-Hijabi women are no different. The majority of us enjoy girly things, we enjoy looking nice and taking care of ourselves but more importantly, Hijab doesn't make one more righteous than the other.

      But in any case, I just wanted to clarify, I don't hate the Hijab and I'm not considering taking it off because I'm bored. I just feel differently about myself, look at my own self in a different way and I feel now that I can (if I want to) progress in my faith without it.

      I guess there could be some Hijabis or Former Hijabis who hate the Hijab but I'm willing to assume that much of the time, it's less to do with the Hijab itself and more to do with how people treat them because of it or how other people can abuse the concept of modesty for their gain (or the hat hair, naturally).

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      • P Offline
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        palestina
        wrote on last edited by
        #120

        oops sorry all... i didnt mean people in this particular topic... just in general many on free-minds have a very negative attitude towards hijab

        secondly i didnt mean that taking off hijab = dressing immodestly because i dont belive the hijab is found anywhere in the quran and anyone can be dressed modestly without it, but i was just giving the example of my friends (and im not judging them and i love them coz they are my friends) I didnt mean to sound judgemental so sorry if thats how my post sounded....

        and i also admire those girls who have the courage to take it off because its an incredibly difficult thing to do - someone likened it in an earlier post to the first day you wear it - its the same scary feeling... so well done to those girls who have the strength of conviction to do so... maybe ill get there someday... maybe not...

        I like the way you said it HNF.... there is nothing wrong with learning a lesson from covering your hair and then moving on to the next phase in your life without it ..... but taking that step isnt an easy one

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        • S Offline
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          Sirius
          wrote on last edited by
          #121

          and i also admire those girls who have the courage to take it off because its an incredibly difficult thing to do - someone likened it in an earlier post to the first day you wear it - its the same scary feeling... so well done to those girls who have the strength of conviction to do so... maybe ill get there someday... maybe not...

          I like the way you said it HNF.... there is nothing wrong with learning a lesson from covering your hair and then moving on to the next phase in your life without it ..... but taking that step isnt an easy one

          Definitely not easy. It's a huge step and I'm not sure if I'm completely ready to make it but patience is key, in all situations. I don't want to make any hasty decisions either for the wrong reasons because then I'd be in another pickle

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          • M Offline
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            MUNZIR_ALI
            wrote on last edited by
            #122

            In about 4 or 5 centuries, the headscarf will be completely forgotten as a religious obligation.

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              sarah2505
              wrote on last edited by
              #123

              In about 4 or 5 centuries, the headscarf will be completely forgotten as a religious obligation.

              quoth the Nostradamus of Maldives

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              • P Offline
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                palestina
                wrote on last edited by
                #124

                Definitely not easy. It's a huge step and I'm not sure if I'm completely ready to make it but patience is key, in all situations. I don't want to make any hasty decisions either for the wrong reasons because then I'd be in another pickle P

                Exactly how i feel...

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                  MUNZIR_ALI
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #125

                  quoth the Nostradamus of Maldives

                  The Mainstream christians seem to have forgotten it 5 centuries ago. The same will happen to mainstream islam and Judaism. Their fabrications will disappear.

                  And say ?The truth has come and falsehood has perished. Falsehood is always bound to perish (qur'an 1781!?

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                    Sirius
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #126

                    The Mainstream christians seem to have forgotten it 5 centuries ago. The same will happen to mainstream islam and Judaism. Their fabrications will disappear.

                    And say ?The truth has come and falsehood has perished. Falsehood is always bound to perish (qur'an 1781!?

                    Well, to be honest, it hasn't been abandoned. Orthodox Jewish women usually cover their hair (with wigs, yeah doesn't make much sense but any who) and in Church most of the older people cover their heads (with hats). Christian women should cover their hair when praying and Jewish should always cover it. It's actually a part of their religion and their holy books. I doubt Hijab will ever leave Islam, in fact it seems to be making a significant re-emergence, particularly in the last couple of decades.

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                    • L Offline
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                      liquiddharma
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #127

                      There was a strong re-emergence of fundamentalism in Christianity 5 centuries ago with the Reformation. It lasted about 200 years before giving way to the Enlightenment and industrial revolution.

                      If we were to map the same thing onto Islam with the Wahabi/Salafi movements being the equivalent of Protestantism, they've got less than a hundred years left before losing influence. Unfortunately this parallel would also suggest the worst religious wars between muslims are still ahead of us.

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                      • M Offline
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                        MUNZIR_ALI
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #128

                        There was a strong re-emergence of fundamentalism in Christianity 5 centuries ago with the Reformation. It lasted about 200 years before giving way to the Enlightenment and industrial revolution.

                        If we were to map the same thing onto Islam with the Wahabi/Salafi movements being the equivalent of Protestantism, they've got less than a hundred years left before losing influence. Unfortunately this parallel would also suggest the worst religious wars between muslims are still ahead of us.

                        I agree.

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                        • S Offline
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                          Sirius
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #129

                          There was a strong re-emergence of fundamentalism in Christianity 5 centuries ago with the Reformation. It lasted about 200 years before giving way to the Enlightenment and industrial revolution.

                          If we were to map the same thing onto Islam with the Wahabi/Salafi movements being the equivalent of Protestantism, they've got less than a hundred years left before losing influence. Unfortunately this parallel would also suggest the worst religious wars between muslims are still ahead of us.

                          Yes, but those fundamentalists had nothing to base their practices on. This movement is well funded, extremely organised and have got controlling the masses down to a tee. Not to mention the ingenious strategy of getting Arabs to lead this movement, and thus are already in some faux esteemed position and have the advantage of 'knowing the Quran'. With the current state of affairs, I highly doubt that his movement will be short lived. They may be met with strong intellectual opposition but when did that stop anyone from propagating their motives. It's a different time and the world is different. There is a real motive now days to cling to fundie ideologies especially when the end of the world is soon

                          Muhammad ibn Abdul Wahab lived in the 18th century; We're now in the 21st century. Definitely not short lived movement it's growing tenfold now. Perhaps this is the peak but as trends are showing, it's probably just beginning.

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                            liquiddharma
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #130

                            Protestant fundamentalism was pretty well organised. They had their 'Quran' in the form of the main books of the bible and their 'Hadith' in the letters of St Paul and other early Christian writings up to the Council of Nicea. They fought wars a lot more effectively than fundamentalist Muslims today. Millions died in the Catholic Vs Protestant 30 Years War and the Catholic Holy Roman Empire was brought to its knees. Protestant Fundamentalism went on to be the dominant religion of northern Europe and its empires, with witches being burned just like sunni muslims stone women today. According to wiki

                            The classical period of witchhunts in Europe falls into the Early Modern period or about 1480 to 1700, spanning the upheavals of the Reformation and the Thirty Years' War, resulting in an estimated 40,000 to 100,000 executions.

                            http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch-hunt

                            The weakness of wahabism and other forms of fundamentalist islam is that they rely on fear and a feeling of alienation from society. That's why they're more popular amounts muslims in western countries than they are in muslim countries, except actual war zones. So I expect over time as muslim minorities in western countries stop feeling out of place, wahabism will go into decline. I suspect this is happening quite quickly already - since America and Europe are increasingly multicultural, it is not so hard to feel one belongs. The main set back is racism and anti-muslim politicians whipping up hatred, but hopefully such people can be quickly overcome.

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                              san
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #131

                              hi, HNF, i like that avatar of yours. nice photograph. (i wish you hadn't decided to hijab your face with your pose though laugh )

                              jedi wears hijab too jedi sometimes

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                                MUNZIR_ALI
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #132

                                jedi wears hijab too jedi sometimes

                                lol rotfl

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                                  Soraya
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #133

                                  Salam
                                  I just wanted to add my personal experience for removing hijab.
                                  Well to be frank I have been wearing my hijab since I was 16 years. Now I'm 20 years. A few months back I was feeling very frustrated wearing it. I coud not stand it anymore. I tried several times to view my opinions, but it was said that once you start to wear it, you can't take it off.
                                  I tried to talk to my father once, and he was with me. He too doesnt agree that in the Quran, it was mentionned to cover the hair. My mother was angry and she did not speak to me for one week. But now Alhamdulilah, all's fine at my place. I am engaged, N my fiance threatened to leave me coz I wanted to remove it, but I did not let myself fall weak. I was too determined to remove it,.Well finally he agreed to let me be without it but on the condition that I have to wear it after nikah.
                                  Secondly ever since I removed it, I got a lot of people saying it's wrong what I did and blabla..I really dont knw how to rufute them, coz according to them, I'm going against the Quran.
                                  Anyway, just 1 more thing to highlight is that I hve got nothing against hijab, but I do not have any regrets since I removed it.
                                  Soraya

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                                  • K Offline
                                    K Offline
                                    Kukumber
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #134

                                    Peace Soraya

                                    Good to hear about your experience.

                                    But still I am confused, You said all is fine, but your fiance is saying you have to start wearing it again after the Nikah. Don't mean to be so to the point, but is that what you want ? If not how is all fine ?

                                    Kukumber.

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                                      Soraya
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #135

                                      Peace,
                                      Well what I meant was that temporarily all is fine. Atleast I am free from my frustrations, and that I am really happy.
                                      Later on, I'll see what happens next, but Inshah Allah I'll get the guts to not accept his request of wearing it back.

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                                        SarahY
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #136

                                        it's sad how so many people are obsessed about telling women what to wear..

                                        Peace,
                                        Well what I meant was that temporarily all is fine. Atleast I am free from my frustrations, and that I am really happy.
                                        Later on, I'll see what happens next, but Inshah Allah I'll get the guts to not accept his request of wearing it back.

                                        sounds complicated..

                                        good luck with that

                                        peace.

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                                        • A Offline
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                                          aynur
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #137

                                          Peace,
                                          Well what I meant was that temporarily all is fine. Atleast I am free from my frustrations, and that I am really happy.
                                          Later on, I'll see what happens next, but Inshah Allah I'll get the guts to not accept his request of wearing it back.

                                          Peace Soraya,
                                          I would think that if he wants you to wear hijab - and you refuse - that it will create a lot of problems between you after you get married. Many men are adamant that their wives wear it. Just a thought ... but you of course know him - I don't. P

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