What are the important factors in a marriage relationship
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I think once the loneliness kicks in all that list of must haves will be dramatically cut in half, several times over.
Loneliness > List
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmhVpeNh_wI DBut apart from that i must say, if there was a girl who was quran-only and lived in my vicinity, it would make even me of all people get off my lazy bum and start chasing after her. Thats probably all id need to know about her initially to catch my interest, because in its self that quality sais a lot about a person like.... generally and..... probably............... hopefully! .
Most ceartainly.
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUNCkXcwGRA&feature=channelThe level of devotion to God is a direct measure of the value of a woman. yes
Id support her just to that end if need be.God >>>>> Loneliness
rotfl You should have seen the funny look I got from my daughter when I clicked on your ''lonely'' link!! lol
Quran alone people must be quite tricky to find so in that respect I can see why you would be interested when you found that out...in practical terms. But as well you would hope that would form a good values base in someone, like Jack was saying to look for open-mindedness, seeking the truth, objectiveness etc. InshAllah when you find a Quran only follower (or Muslim ) you will also find many of those qualities.
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Was about to sleep but meh, can't help paying attention to this thread.
Not sure that loving God and loving another can be separated. Personally, I feel that the true essence of loving God is loving another. God is Love. Believing and loving God is having the capacity, and constantly expanding it, to love. Some people can 'love' God and seclude themselves from the outside world out of the desires to be in servitude, and always 'near' him. But the cookie crumbles for me, if he does not show the desire to love one another, regardless if he loves God so much. That's mah personal view anyway. Feel free to crush my cookie.
Just because someone doesn't show love to others in a clear way doesn't mean he doesn't care for others. He just might not be sure what the best approach is to express his love. I agree that secluding oneself from the outside world is not a good thing as the verse below shows. However, getting some time away from the outside world is a great way to realign yourself with your purpose. Seclusion, although it can be depressing, feels like facing reality to me. But you're right total indefinite seclusion is not a good thing.
5727 Then We sent in their tracks Our messengers. And We sent Jesus, son of Mary, and We gave him the Gospel, and We ordained in the hearts of his followers kindness and mercy. But they invented Monasticism which We never decreed for them. They wanted to please God, but they did not observe it the way it should have been observed. Consequently, We gave those who believed among them their recompense, while many of them were wicked.
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Was about to sleep but meh, can't help paying attention to this thread.
Not sure that loving God and loving another can be separated. Personally, I feel that the true essence of loving God is loving another. God is Love. Believing and loving God is having the capacity, and constantly expanding it, to love. Some people can 'love' God and seclude themselves from the outside world out of the desires to be in servitude, and always 'near' him. But the cookie crumbles for me, if he does not show the desire to love one another, regardless if he loves God so much. That's mah personal view anyway. Feel free to crush my cookie.
Bornagain, i know what you're saying I think. I also believe that practicing Islam should be practical and an action - helping others, loving others and so on, rather than being so insular where a person ''loves'' God and doesn't really spread that to outside themself. Hope I'm making sense. When people talk about loving God more than others though I usually just assume that they mean that ultimately they look to God for direction not to man. I could be wrong but I hope that is what is meant.
I love your new signature quote bornagain D
PS I should definitely read all the posts before replying!! lol
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Bornagain, i know what you're saying I think. I also believe that practicing Islam should be practical and an action - helping others, loving others and so on, rather than being so insular where a person ''loves'' God and doesn't really spread that to outside themself. Hope I'm making sense. When people talk about loving God more than others though I usually just assume that they mean that ultimately they look to God for direction not to man. I could be wrong but I hope that is what is meant.
I love your new signature quote bornagain
PS I should definitely read all the posts before replying!! lol
That's exactly what I meant sister.
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But as well you would hope that would form a good values base in someone, like Jack was saying to look for open-mindedness, seeking the truth, objectiveness etc.
I would like to think that if one is a quran-aloner than he/she already possesses those qualities. At least.... its a pleasing fantasy land that houses those thoughts. D
But maybe though it is more important that i just learn to put my trust in God for these and all matters and to learn and exercise patience.
Oh by the way, are you all sure its the thing to do, to devote ones love as much to others as to God?
Buuut than again, thats more like just a stiff "practical" argument from me, designed more to just be..... annoying ignore.D
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Just because someone doesn't show love to others in a clear way doesn't mean he doesn't care for others. He just might not be sure what the best approach is to express his love. I agree that secluding oneself from the outside world is not a good thing as the verse below shows. However, getting some time away from the outside world is a great way to realign yourself with your purpose. Seclusion, although it can be depressing, feels like facing reality to me. But you're right total indefinite seclusion is not a good thing.
I agree with that too. Life is full of constant change and fluctuations. I used to be a person who was involved in many things, doing a lot for others etc. Then I went through hard emotional times and I retreated a lot. I wondered who the other person was, but again things changed and I notice I am becoming more ''outward' (? lol) again. I think time for yourself is needed, as you said, in our daily life as well as on the bigger scale.
Also seclusion can be depressing but also depression (and sadness) can be secluding.
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I would like to think that if one is a quran-aloner than he/she already possesses those qualities. At least.... its a pleasing fantasy land that houses those thoughts. D
But maybe though it is more important that i just learn to put my trust in God for these and all matters and to learn and exercise patience.
Oh by the way, are you all sure its the thing to do, to devote ones love as much to others as to God?
Buuut than again, thats more like just a stiff "practical" argument from me, designed more to just be..... annoying ignore.D
Interesting question. D I do feel that it's a responsibility to help others and that it's more beneficial to love since God created these people and in fact all of the creatures...it seems logical to love them and care for them. But I don't think you can compare love for others with love for God. It's a totally different thing. I also think it's good to work for others as much as possible but I don't know if that is a value I've brought from my previous life (D) or if that is in Islam and I don't have time to look it up right now, lol. Perhaps its not? Again, that is something that fluctuates. When you need to be more insular you can be; when you feel able to help others - why not do it? As I said, it seems logical that we should.
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I agree with that too. Life is full of constant change and fluctuations. I used to be a person who was involved in many things, doing a lot for others etc. Then I went through hard emotional times and I retreated a lot. I wondered who the other person was, but again things changed and I notice I am becoming more ''outward' (? lol) again. I think time for yourself is needed, as you said, in our daily life as well as on the bigger scale.
Also seclusion can be depressing but also depression (and sadness) can be secluding.
True. Depression also sometimes causes someone to retreat into themselves. It's good to hear that you've become more outward again ;D.
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Is loving God and loving others synonymous? Isn't that what (or part of) what loving God is? Submitting to his attributes/characteristics?
I agree with that too. Life is full of constant change and fluctuations. I used to be a person who was involved in many things, doing a lot for others etc. Then I went through hard emotional times and I retreated a lot. I wondered who the other person was, but again things changed and I notice I am becoming more ''outward' (? lol) again. I think time for yourself is needed, as you said, in our daily life as well as on the bigger scale.
Also seclusion can be depressing but also depression (and sadness) can be secluding.
Speaking from experience, sometimes we get into rut and feel as if there is no getting up/past things that happen to us , but time, time heals all wounds. Just focus on what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, and everything will be a-ok.
It depends on your 'form' of seclusion. Sometimes I like to just interact with nature alone (e.g. watching ducklings do their thing by the lake), or read, or create stories, turning off the rest of the world while I do this.
Point being, seclusion can also bring peace.
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Point being, seclusion can also bring peace.
Agreed.
Aloneness, is beautiful. when you can enjoy your own company when you can observe everything and be joyed by it i.e. ducks, ants, trees, shadows, closing your eyes and just imagining, listening to your thoughts, your breathing.. or whatever it may be
Having a balance of being in a relationship and enjoying your own alone time would be sweet.
don't recall if anyone said it but showing affection is important
peace
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and @ San - yes, good points.
what? the cookies?
Agreed.
Aloneness, is beautiful. when you can enjoy your own company when you can observe everything and be joyed by it i.e. ducks, ants, trees, shadows, closing your eyes and just imagining, listening to your thoughts, your breathing.. or whatever it may be
agreed. ducks, ants, trees, shadows... those are the important factors in a marriage relationship
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hey.. i'm young & fresh!
that aside, yeh i'm getting tired of fortune cookies chit-chats hypno OK i'll quit this thread, since i just realized that i'm not even qualified to reply to the OP
Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ??
Admit it guys... just how many of you here have ever tasted marriage? let's leave it to the experienced ones
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Agreed.
Aloneness, is beautiful. when you can enjoy your own company when you can observe everything and be joyed by it i.e. ducks, ants, trees, shadows, closing your eyes and just imagining, listening to your thoughts, your breathing.. or whatever it may be
Having a balance of being in a relationship and enjoying your own alone time would be sweet.
don't recall if anyone said it but showing affection is important )
peace
Yes to alone time and a BIG yes to affection...not too much though lol. - yes, balance
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Once upon a time in a summer romance, after being with her the whole day for a few days in a row i told her i wanted a few hours or a day by myself. She got angry and wanted to break up. It took me several hours to explain myself. After that i was even more tired.
Though nothing bad about her, shes a great gal.
Its just that alone time can be important, but i think it depends on the difference in attraction between the two. Cause ive been on the opposite end of that situation too in a previous relationship where i was the one who was more attracted and wanted to spend more time but she didnt.
Just personal experience, but anyone else think that the level of attraction should be somewhat equal?
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Once upon a time in a summer romance, after being with her the whole day for a few days in a row i told her i wanted a few hours or a day by myself. She got angry and wanted to break up. It took me several hours to explain myself. After that i was even more tired.
Though nothing bad about her, shes a great gal.
Its just that alone time can be important, but i think it depends on the difference in attraction between the two. Cause ive been on the opposite end of that situation too in a previous relationship where i was the one who was more attracted and wanted to spend more time but she didnt.
Just personal experience, but anyone else think that the level of attraction should be somewhat equal?
I shouldn't laugh but that is a tricky one. Everyone is different I guess. I haven't really had that problem, I mean of different time needs, but I do know people who have and it's hard for them. It's so subjective that it's hard to say anyone is right or wrong. Still if the relationship is going somewhere...i.e. if you are married or planning to get married then you have to be able to spend quite a lot of time together (not all hamdulillah ) otherwise how will it work?
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Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ??
Peace,
Respect.I believe it's best if the young couple has a place of their own, I really am not a fan of them living with the parents of one of them, that's really a minus in my book. Get a place of your own, that's the first step and the second is easy - get a job to support yourself. Don't live of the government, that's another minus in my book.
Of course, I'm not married yet becuase we seem to have a major issue here.
I can't marry a polytheist and it seems to me that Qur'an aloners are missing ....?Peace.