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  4. What are the important factors in a marriage relationship

What are the important factors in a marriage relationship

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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    Submitterwife
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ?? )

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      RA786
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      To me I feel Patience, Prayer, and a Constant/Consistant Striving is the Key.

      Also It is important to Spritually Grow Together. I believe that this is one of the MAJOR issues with Sunni'sm and Shia'sm.
      You will find that in most traditionalist relationships the Man is move Active within his Islamic Community/Masjid.
      You will also find that the man is usually attending Prayer/Quran Reading/etc while the women are stuck doing Dunya type tasks.

      This is not only harmful spirtually, but also in the Relationship. I believe in Islam one of the Key's to keeping a Good Islamic Marriage is to GROW togeather.
      This means Attending the Masjid Prayers Together, Reading Quran togeather, and Asking/Answering/Sharing Interpretations-Theory's Togeather.
      That way you two will Spiritually Evolve and Grow togeather Thus Bonding your Halal relationship Stronger.

      And its not only a problem with sunni's or Shia...or Only males or Only Females. it can happen to Any couple where One is Spirutally Out-growing the other.

      Spritual Growth at the same pace Id say is a Great Important Ingrediant to a happy marriage.
      I constantly Question my wife on what she believes and sharing any new discoverys/theories I or she has.

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        Submitterwife
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        ;D
        Good point.. Thats a really wonderful issue that so easily becomes overlooked.

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          nsws1988
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Salam

          I'm not married (sigh) but I find that communication is very important. That way you can both provide for each other emotionally and, hopefully, be happy D

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            darcus
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Salamun alaikum,

            Communication is absolutely key to everything.

            and one thing which people in this day and age seem to lack - that is the ability to compromise, for EACH other. It is this lack of compromise, lack of empathy in relationships where selfish desires take over that the divorce rates are going through the roof.

            Do just one thing a day to make your partner smile...

            Peace
            d

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              Submitterwife
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Thanks everyone for there imput )

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                SarahY
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I'm not married but i'll give you my perspective

                • trust. with trust, it's important for others not to interfere/influence (in a bad way) with the couples personal affairs. so i guess they should also trust each other to be open.
                • patience/tolerance. two different people don't always have the exact same interests so space is needed sometimes too.
                • flowing in the same direction is important, spiritual growth fits there
                • communication definitely which was mentioned. i think with communication knowing each other's expectations/roles is important.

                you all pretty much mentioned that..

                if you have liking/chemistry and you're both willing to compromise and work together than is there any reason for it not to be a happy marriage? that being said no one is happy 24-7, if you don't expect stuff ups/disagreements etc then you're bound to be disappointed

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                  unknownuser
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ??

                  I don't know... peace

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                    nsws1988
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    I don't know... peace

                    Thank you for your input handshake

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                      RA786
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Be Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, Emotionally, Sexually,Financially Availiable to your partner -Always striving to meet their every needs.

                      If any of the above needs are not being met, please advise your parnter and Collectivly/Creativly Work Togeather to meet these mutual goals.
                      As along as the Wife submits to the Husband (rightiously executing all of these tasks) and the Husband Submits to his wife (rightiously executing all of these tasks) There should be no major problem within the relationship and inshallah It will Grow to be the greatest relationship.

                      Above All..... PRAY to ALLAH to bless your relationship.

                      Also, For Me... I feel that My wife must go above and beyond being a "Wife"....She must Be My Accountent (watching my financial moves and advising me on what Financial deals to make for my families best interest), She must be my Co-Worker (always striving to work in union for my family similar to a company), She is to be my Best Friend (who I seek advise from and should counsel me on personal confedential matters...i.e. My inner most intimate secretes), She must also be like a Mother in the sense of always looking to comfort me, She is my personal Intimate woman who entertains me and saticfies my sexual desires (halal of course) and She is my Sister in Islam (a Decendent of Adam and a child of Earth who submits to Allah)

                      She is to Ultimately be the combination/manifestation of all the people most of society looks else where for.
                      and I am all of the Above Captioned for her...I am Equally Her husband (and the above mentioned).

                      I think as long as people think like that....There would be Less Adultery, less Divorce, and Less Problems.
                      I think The person who you should seek the most is your spouse.

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                        FAR
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ??

                        Does this help http//itunes.apple.com/us/album/how-to-find-your-soulmate/id314030971

                        From my current experience, don't even mention other women's names.

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                          hope4
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Selam

                          Don't approach each other in anger. If your partner starts arguing with you listen, be patient and give sometime before you answer. Usually the anger is spontaneous and things which are later regreated might be said, so its best that one of you keeps quiet and act rationally. Or always take the philosophy 'the women is always right' and there is no argument or problems ;D

                          Peace

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                            nsws1988
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Selam

                            Don't approach each other in anger. If your partner starts arguing with you listen, be patient and give sometime before you answer. Usually the anger is spontaneous and things which are later regreated might be said, so its best that one of you keeps quiet and act rationally. Or always take the philosophy 'the women is always right' and there is no argument or problems ;D

                            Peace

                            If you're a woman and your man gets angry, start crying. They'll feel guilty and stop shouting group

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                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              If you're a woman and your man gets angry, start crying. They'll feel guilty and stop shouting group

                              tell him the complete truth. its not like really crying just fake it like this

                              http//4.bp.blogspot.com/_35igJnloijA/RhafNOgb6qI/AAAAAAAAANc/s7v2ziojvxo/s400/iraq+goodbye+wife+crying+apr+5+2007+aa.JPG

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                                FAR
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                If you're a woman and your man gets angry, start crying. They'll feel guilty and stop shouting group

                                That works when she does it with me. And I love comforting her.

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                                  nsws1988
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  That works when she does it with me. And I love comforting her.

                                  See! Everyone's happy!

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                                    aynur
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    If you're a woman and your man gets angry, start crying. They'll feel guilty and stop shouting group

                                    that might work with some, but for some reason if I do that my husband thinks I'm trying to put on a show for sympathy? So if I cry I have to do it in private.

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                                      SouthernMuslim
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      that might work with some, but for some reason if I do that my husband thinks I'm trying to put on a show for sympathy? So if I cry I have to do it in private.

                                      I'm guilty of that myself. I grew up in a household where the occasional massive fight was as normal as Sunday breakfast. So when my wife and I do argue, if she starts crying, it just screams "drama queen" to me. I have to constantly remind myself that not all women have the cast iron composure my mother and sisters do, and my upbringing was most definitely not the norm.

                                      As for maintaining a marriage, I've learned the all important "I'm sorry. I was wrong. You're right." That rarely fails.

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                                        aynur
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        I'm guilty of that myself. I grew up in a household where the occasional massive fight was as normal as Sunday breakfast. So when my wife and I do argue, if she starts crying, it just screams "drama queen" to me. I have to constantly remind myself that not all women have the cast iron composure my mother and sisters do, and my upbringing was most definitely not the norm.

                                        As for maintaining a marriage, I've learned the all important "I'm sorry. I was wrong. You're right." That rarely fails.

                                        Well at least you are able to say "I'm sorry. I was wrong. You're right.". I've never heard that from my husband.

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                                          rraza
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Hey everybody..first time here sharing my views..i believe that in a marriage trust, love and communication are of utmost importance, but also i believe that similiar religious views are crucial..so atleast two people who live together have a chance to grow spiritually and provide the kids with an environment that is peaceful and loving,with an emphasis on following Gods path.at the end of the day ur spouse is the one u spend most of ur life with..and after God they should be your utmost priority. I come from a shia family but reject almost all of the beliefs.In my opinion Gods word is the only right path, nothing else.Unfortunately the guys i have encountered either have no religious views and arent exactly bothered, or just stick to what their family believes.It is so hard to actually find a partner who has the same beliefs about how to live your life..so evrybody out there who is lucky enuff to have a spouse they love and share life with..congrats! and just know how lucky u all are.

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