i want to stop wearing the head-scarf/hijab, need support!
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I find it interesting that your experience is different from mine. I noticed that the sexual harassment actually decreases when I'm wearing a headscarf; but I would feel like a hypocrite wearing it at all times, confirming to a "rule" I don't believe exists.
I dont understand it either and it could be nothing to do with the scarf, all I know is that 5 times while wearing it I have had bad experiences, 2 even during fasting! Could be because I was a year or so younger then and looked more 'beautiful' in hijab and now you can see the wrinkly neck ;D
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Welcome to the forum )
Wearing the head covering or not doesn't stop or advance desperate sicko's from anything.
I haven't taken it off so I guess I couldn't give the greatest advice but maybe try open up ideas to your husband? your discomfort etc? maybe slip in, I don't even understand why I wore it? or maybe change your scarf style so it shows more skin and eventually take it off?
All the best
peace
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Princess from your whole post I was not able to figure out why you want to take off Scarf/Hijaab? Please tell me just one siingle reason or list it if there are different. Thanks.
Now talking about forum, if some one would say Hi, I want to take off my cloths and be in Bikini, ther will be a very WARM welcome from some, So this is not the write place to seek advice from?
I think Quran is the best to seek advice from if you are a Muslim and then if you think allows you, you should and if not according to your understanding than not.
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Princess from your whole post I was not able to figure out why you want to take off Scarf/Hijaab? Please tell me just one siingle reason or list it if there are different. Thanks.
If you read her post she says why.Now talking about forum, if some one would say Hi, I want to take off my cloths and be in Bikini, ther will be a very WARM welcome from some, So this is not the write place to seek advice from?
So are you comparing taking off a hijab with taking off her clothes and being in a bikini now? Please get your mind off women in bikinis!This forum is about Islam and the 'traditions' that have been applied to it, like wearing hijab, so yes this is a good place and she was asking for support, thats why the thread is called 'i want to stop wearing the head scarf/hijab, need support' , you comparing that to wanting to take off her clothes and wear a bikini is hardly support and is downright rediculous.
I think Quran is the best to seek advice from if you are a Muslim and then if you think allows you, you should and if not according to your understanding than not.
We all know that covering the hair is not in Quran, as you are not a woman and as you said would give a warm welcome if she wanted to remove her clothes and wear a bikini but not if she wanted to take off a scarf, you have no idea at all and never will have any idea what the effects and feelings associated with wearing it and removing it are, so you cant really give any advice but support is what she asked and support would be nice, even from a brother.
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Ok. In regards to ethics and moral of clothing, there are sure guidelines only depends on our daily function. We don't expect to use pyjamas in office. We don't use sports outfit in war zone. We don't use soldier clothes in cinemas. The bottom line is we respect each and every types of clothing of various human race and culture. We must don't look down on them. All these must create respect and should be regard as full colors and spectrum of rainbow in textile and tourism world.
Beautiful post!!
I was once been 'warned' by the moderator on posting this beautiful picture of beautiful lady with beautiful heart..
I post it again.. for the sake of 'education' and 'culture' shock..
As I disagree with the moderator's opinion on this issue and I don't see nothing wrong with the picture below.http//images.cdn.fotopedia.com/flickr-2559849453-image.jpg (NSFW)
A beautiful and modest papuan girl...
Wearing papuan's traditional dress and accessories..Salam / Peace
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I'm not sure who warned you before Jafar but is it too much to ask to post such pictures with links and an accurate description as to what the link contains? There are people who are accessing the site from work, or people who feel offended by being forced to see someone's breasts in passing regardless of how "beautiful" they may be. I don't see how one can gauge a beautiful heart/modesty by a picture or why "culture shock" should be force sprung on others. Give people options and describe accurately what is in the link is all.
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wow, i just logged back in and found so many beautiful replies! thank you all SO much for your input, for taking time to think along and express your thoughts, and for making me feel welcome, i really appreciate it )
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Brush your teeth because you wouldn't believe how blessed we are to have healthy teeth.haha, thanks for the advice, alen! i do fully realise the importance of proper dental care, each my brushing session alone takes more than 10 minutes, i guess that's why i'm always late p
@justamuslim - thank you for sharing your touching story! and so unbelievable that you, and ayisha, have experienced groping like that, by muslims, no less! wow
One of the sisters from the mosque tells me that God will not accept my prayers because part of my ears were not covered. You have the Koran here where God says seek strength and patience in prayers, and God is not going to help me in my time of difficulties because part of my ear was not covered!
these kind of sayings are absurd, angering and ignorant!! i have also heard my share of similar stuff.. like "you have to place your hands on the knees, not on your lap, otherwise your prayer will not be accepted".
Welcome, princess. peace
Check out this thread
Taking off the hijab
thank you leyna, for pointing that thread out to me! i can really relate to sirius there.
Princess, once you get through the first few days of feeling naked you will be fine, as long as you're not naked of course ;D You have to do what you believe to be right no matter who disagrees with you and dont let anyone make you a hypocrite for their views on what is right.
very warm and supportive, thanks ayisha!! and thanks for explaining raaajah what i meant )
maybe try open up ideas to your husband? your discomfort etc? maybe slip in, I don't even understand why I wore it? or maybe change your scarf style so it shows more skin and eventually take it off?
yup, i'm in the process of explaining!
I'm not sure who warned you before Jafar but is it too much to ask to post such pictures with links and an accurate description as to what the link contains? There are people who are accessing the site from work, or people who feel offended by being forced to see someone's breasts in passing regardless of how "beautiful" they may be. I don't see how one can gauge a beautiful heart/modesty by a picture or why "culture shock" should be force sprung on others. Give people options and describe accurately what is in the link is all.
couldn't have said it better.
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Beautiful post!!
I was once been 'warned' by the moderator on posting this beautiful picture of beautiful lady with beautiful heart..
I post it again.. for the sake of 'education' and 'culture' shock..
As I disagree with the moderator's opinion on this issue and I don't see nothing wrong with the picture below.http//images.cdn.fotopedia.com/flickr-2559849453-image.jpg (NSFW)
A beautiful and modest papuan girl...
Wearing papuan's traditional dress and accessories..Salam / Peace
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
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hijab is not a muslim tradition. here's a copy of an excerpt from the book,
The Second Jewish Book of WHY by Alfred J. Kolatch
on page 53
Why do strictly Orthodox women keep their heads covered?
In biblical times women covered their heads with scarves or veils as a sign of a chastity and modesty. To expose a woman's hair was considered a humiliation (Numbers 51.
In early talmudic times, it became common practice for married women to keep their heads covered. Rabbi Sheshet said, "A woman's hair is sexually exciting." To be out of door with head uncovered was a serious breach of law and custom, and it constituted sufficeint grounds for a man to divorce his wife without being required to pay her any of the monies normally due upon divorce, as stipulated in the marriage contract.
To emphasize the importance of a woman keeping her head covered, the Talmud relates the story of a pious woman named Kimchit. Kimchit was a the mother of seven sons, each of whom became a High Priest. When asked why she thought she was blessed to have so many distinguished sons, she replied, "Because the beams (posts) of my house never saw my hair."
Today,, only ultra-Othrodox women keep their heads covedred at all times. Some wear a scarf (called a tichl in Yiddish); others wear wig (called a shaytl in Yiddish). -
However, some modern Muslim women feel that such covering is not important at all. It is a common misconception that all Muslim women dress the same. While many do cover their heads with head scarves, many don?t cover, and wear more westernized style clothing. Still clothing should be simple and not be meant to attract men or express vanity, according to the Qur?an.
Wearing head scarves is not simply a Muslim practice. Covering the head in temple in the Jewish tradition is equally important. Hassidic Jewish women shave their heads upon marriage and wear wigs. In the Christian tradition, until recently, it was thought to be very vain to not wear hats or head scarves when attending church. All these traditions stress modesty, and elaborate hair styling, or even showing the hair is thought to be vain, which is a sin.
Just as in the Muslim world, many Christians no longer find it necessary to cover the hair. Many Jewish sects still require the head to be covered by all men, and by women as a sign of respect and modesty. However, some Jewish sects have a more lax dress code.
While wearing head scarves in Muslim tradition may be thought of by many Westerners as oppressive, it is often simply a traditional part of local dress. Further, unless one lives in a restrictive, theocratic country, wearing head scarves is optional. Many Muslim women also find it saves time to don a scarf rather than to style the hair. They argue that women who must spend so much time before a mirror each morning to style their hair are experiencing oppression by fashion dictates. yeah
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I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
That says a lot about their mindset though.
Seriously -- anyone who associates taking off a headscarf with nudity needs his head checked. hypno
Many Muslim women also find it saves time to don a scarf rather than to style the hair. They argue that women who must spend so much time before a mirror each morning to style their hair are experiencing oppression by fashion dictates. yeah
Who says that women "must" spend a lot of time styling their hair each morning? That is just ridiculous.
The same people who propagate hijab usually also say that a woman should "beautify herself for her husband". So at the end of the day she would have to "style her hair" regardless of whether she's wearing hijab or not.
My hair is about waist-long and I don't spend much time styling it at all.  
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Peace Princess and Welcome
I did stop covering my hair in a very conservative Muslim community not too long ago. As of now I am shifting between covering in kind of way and not covering at all. It's not been long but it's not been easy so far. I've been getting some outright rude comments and generally being made to feel extremely bad about this decision and that is without explaining that I don't take the headscarf to be a divine instruction - the rudeness is even when I wear some sort of material on my head. Putting it on wasn't nearly as bad as taking it off.
I'm guessing right now I'm just probably miffed because today has been the worst day so far about it even though I did use some form of cover. Surprisingly one of my friends has been very supportive and she's helped me a lot today. My problems have probably only arisen because I'm an active member of the Sunni community here so for me to do this is quite shocking. It's nothing I wasn't expecting from these particular people though.
If you're actively involved in the Sunni community then I'd advise you to just prepare for a bit of harshness. I don't know how conservative men in Puerto Rico are but I'd also say prepare for some unwanted attention if you don't wear a wedding ring. I'd also say, try to get comfortable with the scarf before you remove it. If you can love it even though you don't feel it as a divine command then I think you can gain back some self-esteem in the meantime while you're not ready to take it off. Lastly, best wishes! Hope all goes well
Peace peace
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remember, the jews came up with rules and laws that had nothing to do with torah. if you want to cover your head out of tradition, that's your right but just be careful and better be 100% sure when you attribute a thing to God. I sure would not want to mess around with God. And God makes it crystal clear there's punishment if you impute lies about God. and at the end, each soul has to answer to God.
by the way, God does NOT make a big deal about covering the hair. and if you do and walk around with this judgmental attitude turning off or away a person from islam, then you have to carrry that burden on your shoulders.
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Quote from Ayisha on Yesterday at 093907 PM
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements some times, which i have seen like "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Sorry Princess (Rani) but the top most excuses given for removing the scarf or Hijab in this forum by some ladies who think that some males are...
- It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab?
- I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship
- Islam is in the heart, I don?t need to ?show off? that I am a Muslim, it is a personal relationship between God and me.
You said that Ayisha has explained to me well, infact she has explained nothing, she is astrayed, our sister is astrayed, but it is not her fault, it is very difficult to get rid of the culture you have been for years and years and still are living in it, It is same thing as The people of Mecca said to Muhammad, what ever you say is the truth but...this is but is still there
The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.
The best way is to read the Quran yourself if you are a Muslim, I repeat, and if you thinks it allows you to roam around as you will,be happy, But if it demands some Modesty in shape of practical deeds
In order to obtain salvation, a person must combine faith and action, belief and practice. If it would have been personal relationship between you and GOd than what the need for thousands of Messangers, prophets, and books.But still if you insist that you should take advice of some one other than Quran than the best would be the ones, who were not wearing Hijab before and are wearing now, just ask them why?
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Removing of the scarf is just the beginning, which ends up at the statements "Its just fine to be nude in front of my family".
Nice demonstration of Slippery Slope. When you have a LOGICAL argument please come back and see us. Stick to your water slides for now.
I do find it sickening that 2 of the males in this thread, when a discussion on removing the SCARF is taked of, they immediately think of boobs and bikinis!
They are probably a little 'frustrated'...
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Firstly welcome to the forum.
As a guy I don't feel I have much to say on this. But heres my 2 cents.If you believe God ordered you to wear it, then I strongly advise you to wear it.
If you don't believe its an order then wear it if you feel like it. Either way, people should respect your choice. If it will cause problems by taking it off, then thats a perfectly good reason to keep it on (if you choose to).
If you are unsure, wear it until you make up your mind. Mainly because you don't want to go through all the stress, problems etc. if you don't even know for sure. Study the Quran's verses on the issue before doing anything drastic.
peace