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  4. Would you like to marry a hadither?

Would you like to marry a hadither?

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  • _ Offline
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    _Ala_
    wrote on last edited by
    #34

    dear Ala.
    if i would be not married, I would say the same. It is clear, if you have the opportunity to discuss before entering into a marriage, you should do so.
    However, to be married with several children, and then changing the faith ( ex. Sunni to Quranalone ), then there are big problems. It is then always the question of how to react and what to do?
    Because I simply can't generalize, I will make no statement. The situations are different, just as the human also. Allah gives guidance to whom and when he has decided. It remains in this case just to give the matter to Allah, because sometimes you do not know whether it is appropriate to act or to be patient ....

    Ofcourse sis. it is another story if you are married and you change faith. Gods example is Pharaos wife. I dont mean your husband is Pharaoh of course.
    She had patient and prayed to God, still married to pharaoh. What has been done is done, we have to focus on the future inshaallah.

    Salam. group

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    • D Offline
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      diamantinehoneybunch
      wrote on last edited by
      #35

      Salaam.

      I know this topic is kinda old but it is just one year old right?

      MARRY A HADITHER?

      HELL NO! NEVER!

      Oh I often imagine if I was married to a hardcore hadither who had a thick beard and often wears white robe and the Arabian male head-covering.
      And if I refused to "go to bed" with him, he would say "Hey Yuliana! Obey me or angel will curse your name till morning". >D

      Interestingly the hadith which says that "woman who refuses "to bed" with her husband, angel will curse her till morning" is in my school Islamic textbook in Chapter Nikah (marriage).

      Also, the hadith that says woman who died and if her husband is pleased by her will enter paradise is also in the Chapter Nikah in my Islamic textbook.

      And I think If I was married to a hadither, he would

      • Force me to wear the black sack
      • Satisfy him
      • Beat me if I displeased him
      • Not alllow me to go out without his guardian
      • Would not allow me to listen to music
      • Would beat me if I communicate on internet
      • Would stab or scourge me if he found out that I talked to non-mahrams. elektro elektro elektro elektro elektro
        Et cetera

      Ugh terrible.

      My former boyfriend is a Qadiani Ahmadi. I don't see much difference between typical Sunni laws and Ahmadi laws. I asked him what he thought of dancing. "Is dancing really haram? What about ballroom dancing?" He told me that every type of dance is haram. He also supported veiling (headscarf) for women because he believed that it could prevent women from being raped. Just like Sunni thinking.

      Anyways I hope I would find someone who I have been praying for. Someone that can be my soulmate? a Qur'an-alone muslim, non-19er, not so strict, cool and funny; sincere, faithful and caring.

      I am just 17 years old but often think about life with a soulmate ❤

      May God give us joy and happiness ^_^

      Kind regards,
      Yuliana

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      • WakasW Offline
        WakasW Offline
        Wakas
        wrote on last edited by
        #36

        Interestingly the hadith which says that "woman who refuses "to bed" with her husband, angel will curse her till morning" is in my school Islamic textbook in Chapter Nikah (marriage).

        Also, the hadith that says woman who died and if her husband is pleased by her will enter paradise is also in the Chapter Nikah in my Islamic textbook.

        Says it all really. Pathetic.

        All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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        • E Offline
          E Offline
          es
          wrote on last edited by
          #37

          Salaam Yuliana,

          Salaam.

          I know this topic is kinda old but it is just one year old right?

          MARRY A HADITHER?

          HELL NO! NEVER!

          Oh I often imagine if I was married to a hardcore hadither who had a thick beard and often wears white robe and the Arabian male head-covering.
          And if I refused to "go to bed" with him, he would say "Hey Yuliana! Obey me or angel will curse your name till morning". >D

          Interestingly the hadith which says that "woman who refuses "to bed" with her husband, angel will curse her till morning" is in my school Islamic textbook in Chapter Nikah (marriage).

          Also, the hadith that says woman who died and if her husband is pleased by her will enter paradise is also in the Chapter Nikah in my Islamic textbook.

          And I think If I was married to a hadither, he would

          • Force me to wear the black sack
          • Satisfy him
          • Beat me if I displeased him
          • Not alllow me to go out without his guardian
          • Would not allow me to listen to music
          • Would beat me if I communicate on internet
          • Would stab or scourge me if he found out that I talked to non-mahrams. elektro elektro elektro elektro elektro
            Et cetera

          Ugh terrible.

          My former boyfriend is a Qadiani Ahmadi. I don't see much difference between typical Sunni laws and Ahmadi laws. I asked him what he thought of dancing. "Is dancing really haram? What about ballroom dancing?" He told me that every type of dance is haram. He also supported veiling (headscarf) for women because he believed that it could prevent women from being raped. Just like Sunni thinking.

          Anyways I hope I would find someone who I have been praying for. Someone that can be my soulmate? a Qur'an-alone muslim, non-19er, not so strict, cool and funny; sincere, faithful and caring.

          I am just 17 years old but often think about life with a soulmate ❤

          May God give us joy and happiness ^_^

          Kind regards,
          Yuliana

          Perhaps as you progress in life, you will realise that people are not limited to the assigned characteristics of the particular categories which you choose to put them in, or indeed, the labels they associate with themselves.

          Take care.

          Salaam.

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          • E Offline
            E Offline
            es
            wrote on last edited by
            #38

            I used to be a Sunni myself for a long time. I don't remember worshiping idols. Maybe u can remind me.

            That's my thought process entirely when people bang on about "Sunni's" being "mushriks". I don't ever recall being a "mushrik" either, and a reminder, would, at times, be a helpful point of reference to jog my faded memory.

            Peace.

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            • H Offline
              H Offline
              hawk99
              wrote on last edited by
              #39

              Peace family,

              We are to be sure before categorizing someone without evidence and knowledge.
              I have the unique position of being in contact with muslims from different backgrounds
              and we talk, debate all the time, and what I find is that we all are on a journey and
              one's position may change over time. Like in a good marriage, good communication
              is key.

              Yusuf Ali O ye who believe! When ye go abroad in the cause of Allah,
              investigate carefully, and say not to any one who offers you a salutation "Thou
              art none of a believer!" Coveting the perishable goods of this life with Allah are
              profits and spoils abundant. Even thus were ye yourselves before, till Allah conferred
              on you His favours Therefore carefully investigate. For Allah is well aware of all that
              ye do.

              Being dogmatic, self righteous, or abusive is not good for any relationship.
              Communicate in the best way possible.

              You shall invite to the path of your Lord with wisdom and kind enlightenment,
              and debate with them in the best possible manner. Your Lord knows best who has strayed
              from His path, and He knows best who are the guided ones.

              Blessed ramadan to all!

              peace

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              • E Offline
                E Offline
                es
                wrote on last edited by
                #40

                Salaam "hawk",

                Peace family,

                We are to be sure before categorizing someone without evidence and knowledge.
                I have the unique position of being in contact with muslims from different backgrounds
                and we talk, debate all the time, and what I find is that we all are on a journey and
                one's position may change over time. Like in a good marriage, good communication
                is key.

                Yusuf Ali O ye who believe! When ye go abroad in the cause of Allah,
                investigate carefully, and say not to any one who offers you a salutation "Thou
                art none of a believer!" Coveting the perishable goods of this life with Allah are
                profits and spoils abundant. Even thus were ye yourselves before, till Allah conferred
                on you His favours Therefore carefully investigate. For Allah is well aware of all that
                ye do.

                Being dogmatic, self righteous, or abusive is not good for any relationship.
                Communicate in the best way possible.

                You shall invite to the path of your Lord with wisdom and kind enlightenment,
                and debate with them in the best possible manner. Your Lord knows best who has strayed
                from His path, and He knows best who are the guided ones.

                Blessed ramadan to all!

                peace

                You are a wise owl!

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                • M Offline
                  M Offline
                  Man_of_Faith
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #41

                  Peace Yuliana,

                  What exactly is a 19er? You said you wanted a non-19er?

                  Is mere belief in the so-called 'Code 19' enough to render someone a 19er or is there any other criterion?

                  I believe in 19 being a identifier or sign, but I regard it as no more than that. Does it make me a 19er?

                  I am a 7er too in that case hypno

                  God bless you

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                  • D Offline
                    D Offline
                    diamantinehoneybunch
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #42

                    Salaam Yuliana,

                    Perhaps as you progress in life, you will realise that people are not limited to the assigned characteristics of the particular categories which you choose to put them in, or indeed, the labels they associate with themselves.

                    Take care.

                    Salaam.

                    Salaam.

                    I was talking about hardcore hadither. Not Sunnis in general. Sunnis in general are not really hadithers.

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                    • D Offline
                      D Offline
                      diamantinehoneybunch
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #43

                      Peace Yuliana,

                      What exactly is a 19er? You said you wanted a non-19er?

                      Is mere belief in the so-called 'Code 19' enough to render someone a 19er or is there any other criterion?

                      I believe in 19 being a identifier or sign, but I regard it as no more than that. Does it make me a 19er?

                      I am a 7er too in that case hypno

                      God bless you

                      Salaam,

                      Actually I did not mean to lable or insult anyone. I don't care if people want to believe in code 19, Quran without 9128-129 or anything else.

                      I just want a soulmate who isn't "19er"

                      Sorry if I offended anyone.

                      And to Hawk, I am sorry if my post sounded unwise, ridiculous or immature. I was talking about hardcore hadither, not Sectarian Muslims in general.

                      Says it all really. Pathetic.

                      Salaam Wakas,

                      What do you mean?

                      Kind regards,
                      Yuliana

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                      • H Offline
                        H Offline
                        hawk99
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #44

                        Salaam "hawk",

                        You are a wise owl!

                        Peace es,

                        Thank you for the compliment, however I am far from wise.

                        May your Ramadan be filled with blessings

                        peace

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                        • WakasW Offline
                          WakasW Offline
                          Wakas
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #45

                          w/salaam d,

                          I meant that it is pathetic to have such content in a book like that. And by "says it all" I meant it summarises their outlook, i.e. having such content epitomises their view on women, in general.

                          All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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                          • H Offline
                            H Offline
                            hawk99
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #46

                            And to Hawk, I am sorry if my post sounded unwise, ridiculous or immature. I was talking about hardcore hadither, not Sectarian Muslims in general.

                            Peace diamantinehoneybunch,

                            I was stating an overall approach to life, not in the case of a person looking for a soul-mate.
                            I agree with you that one should marry the person that most likely resembles themselves.
                            like with like, kind with kind. When I got married we were both sunni, but at heart we are
                            both seekers. In your quest, keep your list of qualities you prefer, and stick with them after
                            due consultation with others who's judgement you trust. I would say that a spouse is 60%
                            of your happiness, therefore don't look for somebody to change but look for that special
                            person who is a fit. Finally, put God first, ask God for his help, then relax and be patient.

                            How about the story of Moses and how he got married

                            When he reached Midyan's water, he found a crowd of people watering, and
                            noticed two women waiting on the side. He said, "What is it that you need?" They said,
                            "We are not able to water, until the crowd disperses, and our father is an old man."

                            He watered for them, then turned to the shade, saying, "My Lord, whatever
                            provision You send to me, I am in dire need for it."

                            Soon, one of the two women approached him, shyly, and said, "My father
                            invites you to pay you for watering for us." When he met him, and told him his story,
                            he said, "Have no fear. You have been saved from the oppressive people."

                            Moses Marries

                            One of the two women said, "O my father, hire him. He is the best one to hire,
                            for he is strong and honest."

                            He said, "I wish to offer one of my two daughters for you to marry, in return
                            for working for me for eight pilgrimages; if you make them ten, it will be voluntary on
                            your part. I do not wish to make this matter too difficult for you. You will find me, GOD
                            willing, righteous."

                            He said, "It is an agreement between me and you. Whichever period I fulfill,
                            you will not be averse to either one. GOD is the guarantor of what we said."

                            May God grant you your wishes

                            peace

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                            • 3 Offline
                              3 Offline
                              357
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #47

                              If you want to get married, can you imagine yourself with a hadither?

                              And for the members in a relationship/marriage are you married to an hadither? If yes, how do you deal with it?

                              what doesn't a hadither have that others do? Being one of them shoudnt be the deciding factor at all, its all about whether you are a good person or not!

                              -\

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                              • M Offline
                                M Offline
                                Man_of_Faith
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #48

                                Peace Yuliana,

                                So that is an important thing for you if he is a 19er or not? What is a 19er anyway? Simply believing in some code? That is deciding if you want to marry him or not? Look at me, I am a 19er if you mean by believing in the existence of a code in the Book, but it does not make me any different Believer than a non-19er. p

                                ps. I am married ds.

                                God bless you

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                                • D Offline
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                                  diamantinehoneybunch
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #49

                                  Peace Yuliana,

                                  So that is an important thing for you if he is a 19er or not? What is a 19er anyway? Simply believing in some code? That is deciding if you want to marry him or not? Look at me, I am a 19er if you mean by believing in the existence of a code in the Book, but it does not make me any different Believer than a non-19er. p

                                  ps. I am married ds.

                                  God bless you

                                  Salaam,

                                  I'm sorry if I made you angry with me.

                                  I have already known that you are married.

                                  What I mean by 19er is someone who extremely supports code 19 and rejects the existence of Muhammad.
                                  I am interested in someone who has the same faith as I do

                                  I often read old topics. I have read a few people claim themselves to be messengers of GOD or call others who preachthe code 19 to be messengers of GOD. &

                                  Btw God willing I could have the chance to read all arguments and debates regarding code 19.

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                                  • M Offline
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                                    Man_of_Faith
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #50

                                    Peace Yuliana,

                                    I guessed as much. Just asking rhetorical questions. I agree that a lot of people are completely soaked up with this phenomenon and are almost unable to do anything else useful. One has to be very careful proclaiming Messengership. The probability that just YOU are a Messenger is so extremely low it is almost non-existent. I have had feelings of responsibility towards my Lord, but I would not claim to be a Messenger lest an angel came straight up and told me or there would be a clear confrontation with the Holy Spirit.

                                    You shall follow the commands of your Lord. Has He not inspired you and shown you undeniable signs then you are not a Messenger but just a humble servant, a blessed follower of God.

                                    However, we can all be spreading God's religion without being Message-bearers. It is up to each and every one of us.

                                    God bless you

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                                    • S Offline
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                                      simonejamilla
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #51

                                      Muslims I mean Sunni and Shia. A Koranist is also a Jew(yahudi means guided and is used in the Koran for believers) and also a Christian(nasara is used in the Koran on Jesus's disciples) and also a Koranist can be a Muslim. The Koran uses many adjectives but mostly it used mu'min.

                                      I think what happens is that many Koranist i see here are actually intolerant of other faiths. This can reflect badly in marriages as the Koranist might be always lecturing and arguing. And when the Muslim or Christian does not respond he then looks at verses in the Koran regarding the pagans and applies it on them. The Koranist tells himself or herself that the reason he is not responding because he is blind, or he has a sickness in his heart, or he is under the influence of satan etc.

                                      Maybe I am wrong. But i do see how some here will have a hard time with any other religious tradition other than theirs.

                                      If a person wants to eat with his right hand or wants to do 7 tawaf around ka'ba or believes that prayer should be done 5 times a day at certain times and that the prophet of the Koran will intercede for humans on the day of judgement that has no bearing to me. He or she can believe so. It does not make him a mushrik. Shirk is a big word in the Koran and is not something that we think it is. Shirk is basically undermining God and placing in the sam status as humans. Shirk is the belief that God is limited, either by nature or by fate or by abilities. Shrik sees God as a superhuman but not really all powerful.

                                      Anotherthing i noticed is that some Koranist have more knowledge than most Muslims do and may try to use that to argue with Muslims who may want to avoid the subject. The belief that a Sunni or Shia is mushrik and an idol worshiper makes some Koranist think unless I can persuade that Sunni or Shia then only I can be with him. This creates conflicts.

                                      Marriage requires some compromise and if you are someone who has a very narrow definition of whats acceptable than its almost impossible for different religions to work. The Koran says that God created humans belonging to different religious communities and tells us that Jews and Christians and Muslims including Koranist have one God.

                                      Why should we then question the Koran's judgement. The Koran allowed us to marry Christian and Jews. Yet some here still refuse that. So how can you then get along with Sunnis. When we say we are non sectarian we must be true to that. The Koran says anyone who believes in God and the herefater is a believer. So lets keep that criteria and not add our own. This is what seperates us from the others, we should recognize that God is for everybody who believes in Him.

                                      The Koran tells us there are believing Jews and Christians and non believing Jews and Christians and tells us that Muhamamd was surrounded by believers but also hypocrites who are even worst than the non believers. But the Koran reminds us that we would never be one community even if we have one God. That is God's judgement and we should accept that. We should look at people's charcater and personality and not fight over circumcission and drinking from the well of zam zam. Even if you believe Abraham was never in Mecca it really does not matter. God deals with intentions. All of us here probably have interpretations of some verses of the Koran that may be incorrect. It does not have to be that we need to straighten a Sunni or Shia out everytime he believes in something like the black stone. Koranist can be very emotional and feel the need to correct others but it could turn of people who may want religion to be somewhat traditional. As long as it does not contradict the Koran than why not?

                                      Thank you, just what I needed.

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                                      • S Offline
                                        S Offline
                                        simonejamilla
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #52

                                        Peace Yuliana,

                                        What exactly is a 19er? You said you wanted a non-19er?

                                        Is mere belief in the so-called 'Code 19' enough to render someone a 19er or is there any other criterion?

                                        I believe in 19 being a identifier or sign, but I regard it as no more than that. Does it make me a 19er?

                                        I am a 7er too in that case hypno

                                        God bless you

                                        rotfl Laughed out loud MOF, that tickled me it did.

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                                        • I Offline
                                          I Offline
                                          Israfeel
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #53

                                          A true Follower of Hadith would never marry even a modern Muslim, let alone a Hadith-rejector. According to our elders and scholars, such a marriage is null and void and is in fact nothing less than adultery since such marriage between a Muslim and a Hadith-rejector is not recognized by Islam.

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