Took off hijab!
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Salam aleykom,
Just want to share a hopefully right decision I made recently. I took my hijab off after wearing it since I was 12, for 11 years.
It feels GREAT. I don't feel so weighed down or bothered now and its much easier to be active and just be me. I feel like a woman!
Sorry I just couldn't hold it in, I had to tell someone! D.
Now on to facing family and friends o.o....
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I am glad for you.
I goes a lot with temperament. There are people who can do things to please others without much contortion for themselves. Other people are just unable to do that. For the first type it is easy to say ?why just won't do it and you will be rid of that irk? But in fact for those who are not like that, to do that thing that irks is unbearable. That is my case. I cannot do something in which I do not believe without a lot of suffering and a feeling that I act out of cowardice and not of conviction. That, I cannot put up with, so never mind how shocked other people are, I cannot ply myself to please those who would like to be pleased. It destroys me.
If you are like me, you are very right, and I am sure you will be more atuned to yourself from now on. May be you will have or prefer to avoid certain situations, so that you are not pained, but I think it is a great day for you, when you decide that you are going to acknowledge your own feelings and convictions and honour them, and that what you will do and love will be out of conviction and not out of fear.
Congratulations for daring and overcoming fears. In sha Allah you will be rewarded and you will feel this as a new beginning for great things for yourself and the things and persons you care for.
Salaam
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Salaam
Good luck with your family and friends. Don't half-ass your defense, be a strong advocate for yourself. God is not displeased with the sight of hair in public, but with people trying to act like Him.
On a semi-related note...I've always wanted to ask people who've worn hijab, especially in Egyptian style fashion, if they find these to be uncomfortable
http//i.imgur.com/f3cNI.jpgand annoyingly unnecessary when worn under something as innocuous as this
http//i.imgur.com/65HAW.jpg -
I am glad for you.
I goes a lot with temperament. There are people who can do things to please others without much contortion for themselves. Other people are just unable to do that. For the first type it is easy to say ?why just won't do it and you will be rid of that irk? But in fact for those who are not like that, to do that thing that irks is unbearable. That is my case. I cannot do something in which I do not believe without a lot of suffering and a feeling that I act out of cowardice and not of conviction. That, I cannot put up with, so never mind how shocked other people are, I cannot ply myself to please those who would like to be pleased. It destroys me.
If you are like me, you are very right, and I am sure you will be more atuned to yourself from now on. May be you will have or prefer to avoid certain situations, so that you are not pained, but I think it is a great day for you, when you decide that you are going to acknowledge your own feelings and convictions and honour them, and that what you will do and love will be out of conviction and not out of fear.
Congratulations for daring and overcoming fears. In sha Allah you will be rewarded and you will feel this as a new beginning for great things for yourself and the things and persons you care for.
Salaam
Thanks for replying . You right about people pleasing for sure. Not a fan! Although I do care what people think sometimes. I love what you said about acting out of conviction, that's so true. It is indeed a big change for me, so much has been poured into scarves, it's ridiculous how much it has become my identity, that I feel awkward or not myself without it (still trying to get used to not having my "blanky", like children cling to as a child for security).
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Salaam
Good luck with your family and friends. Don't half-ass your defense, be a strong advocate for yourself. God is not displeased with the sight of hair in public, but with people trying to act like Him.
On a semi-related note...I've always wanted to ask people who've worn hijab, especially in Egyptian style fashion, if they find these to be uncomfortable
http//i.imgur.com/f3cNI.jpgand annoyingly unnecessary when worn under something as innocuous as this
http//i.imgur.com/65HAW.jpgLOOOOL!!! Oh GOD am I GLAD to stop wearing Carinas! (as they're called out here in Egypt, although it's just the name of the brand P). That first picture does no depict what most women wear. Those are just sleeves, they're hell of a lot easier to tolerate (if you like pulling them up constantly..) than the whole long sleeve turtle neck body/lycra shirt!!! Ah so many things I can wear now without worrying about a little chest or arm showing.
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Peace,
Congrats!!!! sun
Wow, think of all the fun hair styles you'll be able to do now!
If that your picture in your avatar? You have lovely, curly hair, mashallah. My hair is kind of curly too, but more so wavy. I feel like dying my hair purple or something at the moment.
Well, I wish you all the best! I know it will be hard with family and friends questioning you, but keep your head up and be strong, God willing!
Have you heard any feedback from the family? How's it going?
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LOOOOL!!! Oh GOD am I GLAD to stop wearing Carinas! (as they're called out here in Egypt, although it's just the name of the brand ). That first picture does no depict what most women wear. Those are just sleeves, they're hell of a lot easier to tolerate (if you like pulling them up constantly..) than the whole long sleeve turtle neck body/lycra shirt!!!
http//1.bp.blogspot.com/__BdubNlqYtE/SZwhq8qTjSI/AAAAAAAADFw/fHF7DD_CDlI/s400/ccarina.jpg
Personally, I don't like the look of the Carina things at all. I never understood why it should be less modest to show your arms (or neck etc.) than to be wrapped in skintight, shiny polyester. Not to mention the fact that it must be torture during the hot summers here, particularly since women wear several layers.
I'd be curious as to the reactions you are getting. In my experience, discussing hijab is a big no-no. It's a must, end of story. Even girls or women who don't wear it themselves will keep insisting that it's mandatory.
Also, I know that after the revolution incidents of harassment towards unveiled women have increased. I keep hearing of women who are being told by complete strangers to "put on a veil" or are being lectured and insulted. Have you experienced any of this?
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Peace,
Congrats!!!! sun
Wow, think of all the fun hair styles you'll be able to do now!
If that your picture in your avatar? You have lovely, curly hair, mashallah. My hair is kind of curly too, but more so wavy. I feel like dying my hair purple or something at the moment.
Well, I wish you all the best! I know it will be hard with family and friends questioning you, but keep your head up and be strong, God willing!
Have you heard any feedback from the family? How's it going?
Yes that's me . Thanks! Just use a little curl booster and/or mousse on wet hair and scrunch! Or use a diffuser. Even your waves might curl more.
Although I try to compose myself and not think of the vanity involved in taking hijab off, I can't contain myself and am in fact kind of excited to experiment with hairstyles! I have to say it's only been a few days, but my hair is much thicker and fuller with more volume since I stopped wearing hijab. I think it was contributing to the thinning hair look I've been having for a while. I feel much more confident now.
Hairstyles I'm looking out for
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGfqIkZQkQ8
And this I'm dreaming of for my wedding! (in 2 months, I'm married by contract for a few months now, but the wedding has been delayed)
http//www.dressliketaylor.net/images/guides/hair/hair8.jpg
eeee!!
You know..one of the main reasons why I wanted to take it off, haram or not, is not just because I want to be more active outside without something on my head and long clingy clothes underneath..but because since I got married I have been fumbling to find a good hair and hijab routine. To look good and have my hair done and still manage hijab without ruining it. Well it's been impossible for me. I always have to look like a birds nest when I come home, for my DH to see lol. I also hated going to the salon and paying money to get styled, for it to be at least 60% ruined by even wrapping my scarf ever so lightly (think the pictures of Mary in churches).
I know it sounds vain and lame but it really really bothered me. Before marriage, I didn't care. But now that I am, I care more what others think of my hair and what I look like inside the house. Plus to be honest, hijab itself makes a girl's beauty routines pretty lazy. For example, I'm more involved in caring for my skin, and arm hair...etc. Not because of I fear what strangers would think..but really because taking hijab off made me more conscious of my looks and much more confident. I hope that makes sense.
Now I actually enjoy making an effort to look good. Before it was discouraging because going outside meant changing all that.
The only thing I think that sucks is that if I'm having a bad hair day or post-sex showers ruin my heat styles hair (although I've found out I can't get what I want, hijab or not. the sex itself ruins my hair >.> lol), I can't throw on a scarf to hide it.
I kinda miss being a hijabi. It was like a secret club! I don't know if I wrote this yet, but I've noticed girls especially veiled girls have been looking at me kinda funny..I wonder if that's why a lot of girls that don't wear hijab out here act kind of bitter. Maybe they get tough treatment from the veiled girls or other people? I don't know but I guess I'll find out!
I find myself very awkward and unable to be myself, but I think I'm just trying adjust. I felt more smiley and friendly in the hijab, I think mostly because I felt secure and I could hide behind it. But now I'm so exposed.
It's so weird how much meaning can be put in a scarf or hair!
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http//1.bp.blogspot.com/__BdubNlqYtE/SZwhq8qTjSI/AAAAAAAADFw/fHF7DD_CDlI/s400/ccarina.jpg
Personally, I don't like the look of the Carina things at all. I never understood why it should be less modest to show your arms (or neck etc.) than to be wrapped in skintight, shiny polyester. Not to mention the fact that it must be torture during the hot summers here, particularly since women wear several layers.
I'd be curious as to the reactions you are getting. In my experience, discussing hijab is a big no-no. It's a must, end of story. Even girls or women who don't wear it themselves will keep insisting that it's mandatory.
Also, I know that after the revolution incidents of harassment towards unveiled women have increased. I keep hearing of women who are being told by complete strangers to "put on a veil" or are being lectured and insulted. Have you experienced any of this?
Yeah I know what you mean!
As for reactions, the only people who have seen me and know I used to wear hijab, are the supermarket employees downstairs and the family driver. No one has said anything. But the driver is fortunately aware of hadith fabrications and is friends with my husband, who has discussed it with him so he has an idea that hijab is/may not be mandatory.
My mom knows I wanted to take it off but she hasn't read the FB message I sent her after I took it off, yet. the rest of my family don't know except my in laws.
i will find out my bestie's reactions tomorrow. hopefully she won't flip when I surprise her o.o.
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Peace dear,
I am sooooo so sorry for not responding to this post. Honestly, I became to absorbed in the polygamy threads, that I neglected all of my other posts. I hope you forgive me.
Yes that's me . Thanks! Just use a little curl booster and/or mousse on wet hair and scrunch! Or use a diffuser. Even your waves might curl more.I use my husband's hair gel..lol. Yes, I know, I need to buy my own stuff. My hair curls pretty well, but then it becomes frizzy after a couple of hours.
Although I try to compose myself and not think of the vanity involved in taking hijab off, I can't contain myself and am in fact kind of excited to experiment with hairstyles! I have to say it's only been a few days, but my hair is much thicker and fuller with more volume since I stopped wearing hijab. I think it was contributing to the thinning hair look I've been having for a while. I feel much more confident now.
I think it's perfectly okay to nice and presentable. Everyone can do it in their own way. It doesn't matter what we look like, we can all look nice, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I guess, sometimes it's easy to get carried away and develop arrogance. I believe confidence is a great thing! It shows that you are thankful to God for what He has given you. I'm glad your hair is becoming thicker now. I am sure it looks gorgeous. Unfortunately, my hair has always been thin no matter. While I was pregnant, it became realllly thick and nice. Of course, I was also taking pre natals at the time.
Hairstyles I'm looking out for
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGfqIkZQkQ8
Very cute!
And this I'm dreaming of for my wedding! (in 2 months, I'm married by contract for a few months now, but the wedding has been delayed)
http//www.dressliketaylor.net/images/guides/hair/hair8.jpg
Nice!!!! You will look beautiful. I got married by contract before the wedding as well. Couldn't wait..lol... Congrats on your wedding...I would love to see you as a bride!!
eeee!!
You know..one of the main reasons why I wanted to take it off, haram or not, is not just because I want to be more active outside without something on my head and long clingy clothes underneath..but because since I got married I have been fumbling to find a good hair and hijab routine. To look good and have my hair done and still manage hijab without ruining it. Well it's been impossible for me. I always have to look like a birds nest when I come home, for my DH to see lol. I also hated going to the salon and paying money to get styled, for it to be at least 60% ruined by even wrapping my scarf ever so lightly (think the pictures of Mary in churches).
I totally understand. I would find it so difficult to run or jog while wearing a headscarf.
I know it sounds vain and lame but it really really bothered me. Before marriage, I didn't care. But now that I am, I care more what others think of my hair and what I look like inside the house. Plus to be honest, hijab itself makes a girl's beauty routines pretty lazy. For example, I'm more involved in caring for my skin, and arm hair...etc. Not because of I fear what strangers would think..but really because taking hijab off made me more conscious of my looks and much more confident. I hope that makes sense.
Actually, I can totally understand. See, I'm really picky about oily hair. I wash my hair like all the time. However, if I wore hijab, I KNOW I would become lazy with that. Then, my poor husband would have to see me walking around with my hair looking like an oilslick. It doesnt help that I live in a western country where most people don't wear hijab and do their hair very nicely. Yes, it totally makes sense. There is nothing wrong in taking care of and grooming what God has given us, plus, we want to look nice for our husbands
Now I actually enjoy making an effort to look good. Before it was discouraging because going outside meant changing all that.
The only thing I think that sucks is that if I'm having a bad hair day or post-sex showers ruin my heat styles hair (although I've found out I can't get what I want, hijab or not. the sex itself ruins my hair >.> lol), I can't throw on a scarf to hide it.
haha, does sex ruin your hairstyle? I've have not had that problem yet, but the post-sex showers..yes..they will mess up my "straight hair" look. I blushed when I read that part of your post. Sorry, I'm still a prude, even after marriage. laugh
I kinda miss being a hijabi. It was like a secret club! I don't know if I wrote this yet, but I've noticed girls especially veiled girls have been looking at me kinda funny..I wonder if that's why a lot of girls that don't wear hijab out here act kind of bitter. Maybe they get tough treatment from the veiled girls or other people? I don't know but I guess I'll find out!
I know some hijabis can be a little snobby towards the non hijabs. I often been spoken to in a very condescending way by hijabs. Not sure if I can attribute it to this... hmm
I find myself very awkward and unable to be myself, but I think I'm just trying adjust. I felt more smiley and friendly in the hijab, I think mostly because I felt secure and I could hide behind it. But now I'm so exposed.
It's so weird how much meaning can be put in a scarf or hair!
I think it's a type of social conditioning. It's going to take some time for you to get used to the new you. It's also going to take some time for others to get used to the new you. Just stand your ground. You aren't doing anything wrong. Your hair was meant to be shown (in my opinion). Our feminine aspects aren't meant to be flaunted, but they are not meant to be hidden either (except what God specifically mentions). So, have fun with you hair!
I apologize again for the super late post. My parents are visiting as well, so I've been a little busy with them too. May God Bless your marriage and I hope you have a blast at your wedding!! I wish you all the best!! By the way, I am glad your husband is also Quran only. It's such a blessing!
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Washing your hair after sex - that's another innovation. Another lie imputed to God.
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Peace justamuslim,
We're talking about bathing after sex; not the hair but just the body itself. The heat of the water (steam) can damage certain hairstyles. Whether this is an innovation or not, I think many people just prefer to shower or are accustomed to it after partaking in sex.
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My Mum didn't start wearing hijab until she was like 38. My Aunts are kind of like that too....
don't take stuff from no body, they got nothing on you.
The problem i would say is young Egyptian men. Some act like they've never seen a woman before. gropping and molesting girls in public! nope
They deserve a fraction of the punishment for Adultry elektro -
Salaam,
Its bad news you took it off, you have given in to the female desire to show off yourself (for who? To help the modesty of men or to attract?). The very reason women are told to cover themselves.
To learn what the Qur'an says, as opposed to liberalist qur'anists who love nothing more than throwing away and difficulty in Islam, please read the following article based solely on the Qur'an, any questions are welcome.
http//www.detailedquran.com/quran_data/The%20Quranic%20dress%20code%20for%20women.htm
Which is found at http//www.detailedquran.com
Salaam and I hope you reconsider our decision.
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Salaam,
Its bad news you took it off, you have given in to the female desire to show off yourself (for who? To help the modesty of men or to attract?). The very reason women are told to cover themselves.
To learn what the Qur'an says, as opposed to liberalist qur'anists who love nothing more than throwing away and difficulty in Islam, please read the following article based solely on the Qur'an, any questions are welcome.
http//www.detailedquran.com/quran_data/The%20Quranic%20dress%20code%20for%20women.htm
Which is found at http//www.detailedquran.com
Salaam and I hope you reconsider our decision.
My mother wears Hijab and I have always been a huge supporter of the hijab... but..... you give evidences from dictionaries. When was these dictionaries written? Do you have a dictionary from before or maybe from the time Quran was revealed ? confused
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By that laughable logic, lets throw away the Qur'an.
If you have a problem with the logic of the article, give a spcific example.
Thank you
Pardon I didnt understand your point wallah.. why should I throw away the quran confused
One example is..... when was Lesan el 3rb written ?
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Salaam,
Its bad news you took it off, you have given in to the female desire to show off yourself (for who? To help the modesty of men or to attract?). The very reason women are told to cover themselves.
To learn what the Qur'an says, as opposed to liberalist qur'anists who love nothing more than throwing away and difficulty in Islam, please read the following article based solely on the Qur'an, any questions are welcome.
http//www.detailedquran.com/quran_data/The%20Quranic%20dress%20code%20for%20women.htm
Which is found at http//www.detailedquran.com
Salaam and I hope you reconsider our decision.
Salaam,
(Khimar) is wrongly translated on your website. Please take a look at 2431
2431 ...
2431 And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their Khimar over their bosoms...You can see how and where to use "Khimar" in 2431.
Intentionally 2431 is not used to describe (Khimar) but this same aayat is used under (Zeenat) and again intentionally 732 is ignored under the category of (Zeenat).
May Allah protect us from twisting the word of Allah and guide us to His true path pr
mmKhan -
I have a problem with that article. I believe that there is no logical point that God has commanded women to cover from head to toe. God talks about clothes during summer and winter and during war. Where is the differentiation if one wears a veil 365 days a year? Where is the Clothes of adornment talked about in 726?
God commands that Women cover their Ornaments. Only women are spoken of to have natural ornaments. Men are never spoken of to have natural ornaments. If i let my hair grow out, will it become a natural ornament?
And what about the jewerly that we are allowed to wear 1614. are we supposed to cover that also?
One of the Most descriptive is, Women should NOT "strike with their legs" (e.g strutting) even after covering their ornaments. 2430. If you cover from head to toe and strut, what can be noticed of your body. I'll give you a clue, the chest area, the derriere....
O children of Adam, you shall be clean and dress nicely when you go to the masjid. And eat and drink moderately; Surely, He does not love the gluttons.
Say, "Who prohibited the nice things GOD has created for His creatures, and the good provisions?" Say, "Such provisions are to be enjoyed in this life by those who believe. Moreover, the good provisions will be exclusively theirs on the Day of Resurrection." We thus explain the revelations for people who know.
Please see
http//www.masjidtucson.org/submission/perspectives/women/female_dress_code_translations.html
http//www.masjidtucson.org/publications/books/SP/2003/mar/page1.html
http//www.masjidtucson.org/submission/perspectives/women/dresscode.html
http//www.masjidtucson.org/publications/books/SP/1999/apr/page1.html