Tired of living in a closet
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I hate that I have to hide my beliefs and views (quranism) in my life...around my friends and most of my family..I have to hide when I pray and dodge questions about how I'm doing this or that...always expected to live up to sunni traditions...
I'm tired of trying to avoid Islamic topics with my best friend, lest we go down a road of comparing viewpoints, only to 'hurt' her even more by my unbelievable shifted perspectives.
I'm tired of making excuses or lying just to get out of any situation that might blow my 'cover'!! I'm tired of my in laws so-called accepting my beliefs but then question me when I actually apply them!! As if sharing Quranism with them was just a good bed time story!
I WANT TO SCREAM.
No I don't pray covering my hair. No I don't think a simple scarf qualifies you to be a "hijabi"! And no I don't think material should come between me and Allah, and no I don't believe in the second coming of Isa or Dajjal..but I go along with it anyway because the arguments that would follow will be unbearable!
And whenever some hadith related topic comes up around others, I'm obliged to pretend I'm interested and believe in all those things when I don't...and I don't want to bring that up because they will pass judgement on me and think I've gone nuts and become an infidel. Or at the very least tell me how wrong I am and how sad it is that I'm so naive and young and don't know anything...Bleh!!!
Just needed to vent! It's just me and my husband now in this closet...its really stuffy in here. I need to breath . This only scratches the surface...
Where art thou Quranist friends in my life?
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Peace PixelAngelBaby,
I don't believe you and I have ever corresponded before but if it is no problem to you I would like to ask two questions
1). Do you live in a So-Called Muslim Country such as Pakistan, Malaysia, Jordan, Egypt, etc.?
2). Are you an Arab OR do you know the Arabic Language?
My reason for asking question one is because I think you and your husband should be very careful about sharing your non-traditional views with others if you are in a Sunni or Shia dominated country like Tunisia, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Indonesia, etc. If living in such a society one must practice common sense and not try to prove a point due to the dangers that come about when expressing non-traditional, non-hadith based understandings of Islam and The Qur'an. If you do live in a traditional muslim society and there ever comes a time when you can migrate from such a place, then please take it.
Now, if you DO NOT live in such a place, but live either in the U.S., Canada or somewhere in Europe, then you do not have to "bite your tongue" out of fear of the ire of the masses. At worst, you would have to face the possibility of losing the love and friendship of family and friends. My wife and I have lost those connections a long time ago and we have absolutely no regrets. Since certain people have distanced themselves from us that just goes to show that they were no good for us anyway.
As far as my second question is concerned, if you are proficient in Arabic (I am speaking specifically of the Arabic of The Qur'an here), then you can equip yourself to respond to whatever questions or accusations come your way if you decide to come out of the closet. The Qur'an is your BEST weapon to fight against the ignorance that you are describing and if you are armed with proficient enough knowledge of Qur'anic Arabic, then you would be in the best possible position to defend and explain your views and understandings.
Once you show people what The Arabic Qur'an has to say on the issues that you speak of, those who never truly cared for you as a friend or relative will distance themselves from you and those who DO NOT think for themselves will disagree with you and hold on to their traditionalist views even without proof to substantiate those views. Those who DO think for themselves and honor you as their friend and/or relative will hear you out and just might come to see things the way you do. As Malcolm X once said...Time Will Tell.
I wish You PEACE and all the best in whatever decision you make.
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Salaam,
I go through the same scenarios as you, but my perspective is different, I suppose. I don't feel the need to share my beliefs or, by the same token, not share my beliefs. I just think lakum dinokum waliya din, and I thank God that He is with me and always has been and has given me a brain to think, eyes to see, ears to hear, a heart to comprehend and to love, and food and water to survive, people to share my life with, and much more besides. People don't just exist in the vessel of "religion". They exist as human beings and commonality is not just based on scripture or labels they might attribute to themselves or those which others may assign to them. I am sure many here would disagree with me, but I suppose I've never really felt lonely, so don't understand this feeling of wanting to be a part of a larger, communal context. I feel content with God and rejected hadith before I even knew such people existed. I found it such a chillul hashem. That is the grounds I rejected it on, whether I was alone or in a group was irrelevant to me. I had to do what I felt was right by God. When we return to God, we shall return alone. However, I have also just remembered that you mentioned you and your husband have the same beliefs. Well, at least you have your husband. I am a 28 year old woman, I, personally know no one who believes what I believe. I am unmarried, and because of my beliefs, I will probably never get married and have children, and that is what I always wanted. That is what I always worked towards, yet in my early 20's when it was time to start looking at fulfilling this, I could not, and perhaps, never will. But I realise now, that I have a greater duty to my Creator, without compromise. From God we come, and to God, one day, we shall all return.
Sorry if I sound harsh. May Allah grant you what you need, insh'Allah, to strive righteously on His path.
Salaam.
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Peace be upon you PixelAngelBaby
Imagine how nice it would be to live in a world were we could be 100% true to ourselves and express our thoughts and opinions without being criticised or condemned for it. But unfortunately such a world seems to be far far away.
I understand how you feel. It's not easy to be alone with our beliefs. It's not easy to have no one to share our beliefs with. Its not easy to be misunderstood and misinterpreted day after day. It's not easy to pretend to be something we are not, or hide who we truly are.
I remember all the times I met my friends, and tried my best to enjoy the moment fully, but even dough I had company, I was still alone. I was alone spiritually. Because my friends did not know the real me. They didn't know who I am deep inside. My heart was not united with their hearts, because our belief systems were totally different. No matter how much they thought they knew me, they never knew the true me. I guess some people will never fit in. They are destined to be alone. Aloness is their destiny. But what is this thing called aloneness? Are we ever truly alone? Or is aloness an illusion? These are questions that I have sometimes pondered on.
I once read a verse in Quran which said that a believer will experience some aloness in his path, if I remember correctly. That verse was very comforting to read because it showed me that some periods when I have been alone in my life have benefited me. I don't know if I have ever felt truly alone. Because as long as I have God with me, I can not be truly alone. Even if I was trapped in a desert, or in a mountain thousand of miles away from civilization, I would not be alone as long as God is with me. I truly believe that. How can we be alone if God is with us? A man or woman who has forgotten God, will be alone even if he or she has thousands of friends. But if someone is alone in a desert or in a mountain, and no one else is with him or her, he or she will not be alone, even if he or she stays there more than one hundred years.
It's natural to want to reach out to likeminded people. "No Man Is An Island." We all deserve a social life in this earth, a life were can be friends with those who know our beliefs, understand why we think what we think and why we do what we do. Human beings are social creatures. No one is meant to be alone forever. We grow by bonding with eachother, by sharing with eachother and by caring for eachother. But in some periods of our lives we have to be alone. This might seem negative in our eyes. But actually it is a blessing in disguise. There is something positive in almost all negative experiences in our lives. But sometimes we can't see it straight away. It might take some time before we can see the blessing in the curse. It might take some time before we can extract the positive out of the negative. So what is positive about being alone? What is positive about having few persons or no one to share our beliefs with? Aloneness is a blessing in disguise. It is a hidden treasure. When we are alone we will discover ourselves. In other words aloneness leads to self-discovery. It also leads to self-knowledge. You can only know yourself when you spend time with yourself. Some people know their favorite actors and artists more than they know themselves. Some people know their pets more than they know themselves. Some people know the characters in their videogames more than they know themselves. Some people constantly keep themselves busy with socializing so that they won't have to spend time alone. They are afraid of spending time alone. It scares the heck out of them. Some people die without knowing themselves. They escape from themselves their whole lives. If they only knew that there are hidden treasures deep inside of them, and that nothing inside of them can be compared to what is outside of them, then they would never do what they did in their life. Then they would never escape from themselves. But then it is too late. Personally I can testify to the blessing of being alone in some periods of my life. I am a social person, and I have gained a lot from spending time with my friends and acquaintances. I don't deny that. I love to socialize with people. I love to get to know new people. And I love to have interesting conversations. But I have learned a lot about myself by spending time alone. Surely, that's the truth.
Sometimes we might think that it would be nice if we had an easy life where everyone accepted all of our values and principles, respected our beliefs, and supported us no matter which path we choose in life. But the purpose of our life is not ease and comfort. Neither is it the pursuit of pleasures and enjoyment. If God made our lives easy, we wouldn't become strong. Resistance is good for us. A hard life makes us solid. It makes us unbreakable like Iron. People who never experience hardships will become soft. They will break easily like a twig.
Life will never get perfect, and no country on earth is perfect. If a man or woman, who is a muslim who follow Quranic islam, live in a european country he or she might get criticised or even condemned for not always conforming to the liberal, non-religious, lifestyles of western people. They might get criticised for not wanting to drink alchohol, party and live in the fast lane. If a man or woman, who is a muslim who follow Quranic islam, live in a middle eastern or north african country he or she might get criticised or even condemned for not always conforming to the orthodox sunni or shia beliefs and rituals, and the religious way of life of middle eastern and african people. They might get criticised for not wanting pray 5 times a day in the sunni or shia way, not wanting to visit mecca and not wanting to wear a hijab.
You are not alone PixelAngelBaby. If God wills, one day you will be able to practice your deen fully, on this earth. And you will get united with your brothers and sisters in real life. Until then you must be strong. Be patient, strive towards betterment and before you know it you will achieve your dreams .
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I hate that I have to hide my beliefs and views (quranism) in my life...around my friends and most of my family..I have to hide when I pray and dodge questions about how I'm doing this or that...always expected to live up to sunni traditions...
I'm tired of trying to avoid Islamic topics with my best friend, lest we go down a road of comparing viewpoints, only to 'hurt' her even more by my unbelievable shifted perspectives.
I'm tired of making excuses or lying just to get out of any situation that might blow my 'cover'!! I'm tired of my in laws so-called accepting my beliefs but then question me when I actually apply them!! As if sharing Quranism with them was just a good bed time story!
I WANT TO SCREAM.
No I don't pray covering my hair. No I don't think a simple scarf qualifies you to be a "hijabi"! And no I don't think material should come between me and Allah, and no I don't believe in the second coming of Isa or Dajjal..but I go along with it anyway because the arguments that would follow will be unbearable!
And whenever some hadith related topic comes up around others, I'm obliged to pretend I'm interested and believe in all those things when I don't...and I don't want to bring that up because they will pass judgement on me and think I've gone nuts and become an infidel. Or at the very least tell me how wrong I am and how sad it is that I'm so naive and young and don't know anything...Bleh!!!
Just needed to vent! It's just me and my husband now in this closet...its really stuffy in here. I need to breath . This only scratches the surface...
Where art thou Quranist friends in my life?
I am the same with my father and his Juma prayers lecture. he wants me to go to Juma'. But in the end these things do not contradict the Quran although some of us do not want to perform there like hijab or going to Juma' prayers or eating with the right hand or if we are left handed or circumcising our children etc. Maybe you can get in the habit of performing them just to be like the rest lol!.
Being around Muslims can be tough because they have a very compicated obligation filled Islam. At least your husband is with you in this. Imagine if you had to be discreet around him also. Maybe you both can limit your interaction with relatives and friends. Maybe have Christian firends who will not have those issues.
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I think that to be and feel all the time that you are in the middle of a struggle that never ends can be very tiring, burdensome, discouraging. Do not get too involved. Try not to be there. Keep yourself absent of that kind of thing. So they leave you alone as much as possible. ah? what? oh? did I? did you? Do not get dragged into polemics. Just do strictly as you like and do not let yourself be dragged into explanations, except if you do want to get into one and feel up to it. Keep aside and don't tax yourself into endeless quarrels for nothing.
As others have told you select your company or select the persons you want to really talk with, and step carefully to feel the ground as to how far you can go and sieve. And never, never, never, be apologetic. Be firm but not overppowering. do not even let out the impression that you might want anybody else to have a say into what you do or believe. Close any discussion or dispute with Allaho akbar and Allahu 3alim and shut up after that, or repeat it. Do not let yourself be dragged. Or let out Qur'an quotes. but do not comment nor answer questions, only Allahu 3alim.
And always do not be concerned. All those things are noise. NOISE. Just shut it out. Ignore it. Do not get involved do not let yourself be dragged into it.
Prayers without covering head is my great contention for not going to masyids. It is one of those big nonsense lies that keep women in place, tolerated, as intruders, but never officially said that they are regarded as intruders and never to be considered full believers, believers but... It is not proper that we women, as human beings accept the princile that we are not full believers, full human beings and before any other consideration we are required to pprove something. Even if we are far away, know that in that you are not alone. I feel insultad by the whole thing. ?Is also God going to be tempted by our beauty that we should wear hijab to be alone with Him? It is absolutely insulting. You are right. We do not have to put up with that NONSENSE. Poor men, God does not get aroused by them. Astaghfirullah...
No matter what others may look down on you. The main thing is that you do not look down on yourself. You are not too rebelious, you are not. You are not subservient to idels, human idols, that is what you are not.
Cheer up. Be faithful to your quest.
Salaam
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If you don't live in a restrictive "Muslim" country then be yourself and be honest. Some other people may be afraid and may be waiting for someone to say and stand up for what they believe as well, you never know. If you don't live in a restrictive "Muslim" country then to hell with them if they don't like/appreciate your views.
Me personally I don't have children or a family who needs my support so I can afford to do the above even if it gets me killed but if you are in a restrictive country and have children or people who need you, then it is not ignoble to hide your beliefs so you can stay alive to support them.
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Oh you're in Cairo. Ok...ummm yeah that's not going to be easy...my second paragraph I guess should apply in that case...you will face hardship from what I understand about majority/state views against muslims (WE are the muslims who don't add sectarian identification before muslim) I think there are Quranists in Egypt, try to research them and get in touch with them! I'm sure they can help you!
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Alhamdulillah, at least you have your husband. If he was one of them too, your life would be hell. Count your lucky stars! The world will never understand. Don't bother explaining to the brainwashed. As a wise rapper once said... "Do yo thang, let me do my thang."
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Thanks everyone for the support and advice <3.
@Shirley Yes I live in Egypt actually, im aware of the dangers involved if people were to know I am a quranist. You can see why im frustrated D.
And yes I know arabic, a great deal but its not perfect or very polished. Its a little choppy when i talk but I can read and write and I went to an egyptian school and they teach you grammar so i have a good idea.
I was actually thinking about going to a masjid and take quran memorization sessons, for myself and so I can respond to critics or questions. Personally I'd like to so I can better understand the Quran if I have it on (in) my mind more often and it would push me to decipher it and read more into it as I memorize bit by bit.Thank you for everyone's concerns. And yes im lucky my hubby is on the same page. He wasnt at first though! It took a few weeks to get his head around things. He is still not sure where he stands, but he is slowly more and more leaving more hadith behind. I think lately though he is starting to put the Quran more into action. So al hamdulilah.
If my husband didnt accept my beliefs, we might have had to divorce, honestly. Not because I want him to see things my way, but because I feel it would be haram to remain married to someone who is putting partners with Allah (as the quran seems to say about sunnism, to my understanding).
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If my husband didnt accept my beliefs, we might have had to divorce, honestly. Not because I want him to see things my way, but because I feel it would be haram to remain married to someone who is putting partners with Allah (as the quran seems to say about sunnism, to my understanding).
Peace be upon you
Let's see if Quran tells us if it is forbidden to remain married to someone who is putting partners with God?
423-24
Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your aunts paternal and maternal, and a brother's daughters, and a sister's daughters; and your milk-mothers, and your milk-sisters; and the mothers of your wives; and your step-daughters - who are your foster children - born of your wives with whom you have consummated your marriage; but if you have not consummated your marriage, you will incur no sin ; and the spouses of the sons who have sprung from your loins; and to have two sisters at one and the same time - but what is past is past25 for, behold, God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace.
And all married women other than those whom you rightfully possess this is God's ordinance, binding upon you. But lawful to you are all beyond these, for you to seek out, offering them of your possessions, taking them in honest wedlock, and not in fornication. And unto those with whom you desire to enjoy marriage, you shall give the dowers due to them; but you will incur no sin if, after this lawful due, you freely agree with one another upon anything behold, God is indeed all-knowing, wise.According to 424 all married women are forbidden to a man. However, lawful to you are all women beyond these (in other words all unmarried women are lawful for marriage whether they are believers or not).
243
The adulterer will only marry an adulteress or one who is an idolatress. And the adulteress, she will only be married to an adulterer or an idolater. And this has been forbidden for the believers.According to 243 adulterer or an idolater is forbidden for the believers. In other words a woman who is a believer can not marry or remained married a man who is an idolater (polytheist), someone who puts partners with God.
It seems that the verses 423 and 243 are contradicting each other. Because according to 423 a person can marry anyone as long as she is unmarried. But according to to 243 a believer (whether male or female) can not marry an idolater (polytheist). Why do the message in these two verses contradict eachother? Because one or both of the verses are mistranslated. There is no other logical explanation.
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Oh sweety,
Big hugs... it can be difficult. At my masjid I am active, but I do keep most beliefs to myself. Most label me as "ooh she is new she does not get it yet"...lol Go and learn your Quran, they can't say anything about that. I pray with my congregation, I just don't say all that they say, but we are not saying tashoud out loud. I would like to think most people on this forum will be here for you. For me this is my family and friend network. I would have lost my mind with out all the wonderful people on here. Trust me.. venting can be a good thing!
Thank you for everyone's concerns. And yes im lucky my hubby is on the same page. He wasnt at first though! It took a few weeks to get his head around things. He is still not sure where he stands, but he is slowly more and more leaving more hadith behind. I think lately though he is starting to put the Quran more into action. So al hamdulilah.
So there is hope!!! I have to be careful with my in-laws, they live in Cairo too. My greatest benefit is the ocean. My husband is not a strict sunni. He does tend to take most quran over hadith. Except the anti-christ and all those end time things. We talk but there are certain topics concerning Islam we agree to not bring up as it will cause a huge argument.
I pray you find some peace sis )
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Salam PixelAngelBaby
f my husband didnt accept my beliefs, we might have had to divorce, honestly. Not because I want him to see things my way, but because I feel it would be haram to remain married to someone who is putting partners with Allah (as the quran seems to say about sunnism, to my understanding).
As you might know, i am from Helwan/Cairo. But to meet me will be very difficult, because my husband is not only 'normal' sunni, but i little bit more fanatic...
But after two years asking Allahs help , i think i can be here without to divorce and leave my three children behind. My Husband he don't understand me chalas, but he is quite and don't want to divorce- so long as the situation remains like that, i can accept a life with him.
I don't think that muslims they are putting partners together with Allah- read the thread about shirk from Bigmo. This helps me a lot and as Allah says me always has patience and don't running out -
i wear before Niqab and remove it since 1 and half year, but i'm still wearing Hijab- for me this piece of stuff don't make any difference- i know that Allah He don't need a piece of stuff but i will get much problems (in this case sure a divorce and no children...) and this i don't want. Also i wear it and smile ;D
peace and may Allah bless you -
@ PixelAngelBaby and Mirjanmur my heart truly goes out to you two because of the unfair predicament that you find yourselves in. It is very unfair.
@ PixelAngelBaby, Ahlan Beekee....if YOU are able to access Free-Minds Forum from Al-Qahira then so can others who are ALSO in Al-Qahira. I say this to you because of safety is at all a concern to you and you wish to keep your beliefs/views to yourself, then perhaps you should remove your pic from your profile and replace it with something else? The possibility does exist that someone who knows you can come across this forum, see the content of it, vehemently disagree with this content and just so happen to see that you are a member of this online group. Just my humble suggestion Ya Ukhtee.
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I don't know if its fair to say that Sunnis put partners with God. Not most anyway. Its not like they're worshipping lesser gods. But they have made up their own religion and attribute lies to God. They claim their laws come from God when in reality they come from Bukhari and friends.
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I don't know if its fair to say that Sunnis put partners with God. Not most anyway. Its not like they're worshipping lesser gods. But they have made up their own religion and attribute lies to God. They claim their laws come from God when in reality they come from Bukhari and friends.
I not sure honestly where I stand on that, but I was writing what I have understood so far from the Quran and im just starting out on this journey. Also I would lieing if I said other quranists didn't influence that opinion. I don't think the majority do, and I wouldn't call them out and call them mushrikeen, because that's for Allah to judge, but there are some that really do almost 'worship' the prophet. Many lectures I've listened to and the sheikhs would tell the muslims they will not enter heaven if they don't truly love the prophet, and put him above all else, except Allah. They may not be praying to the prophet directly in the sense of ritualistic worship, nor depend on him for matters in life and their troubles, but sometimes sunnis and shias and put the prophet and/or his family on a pedestal.
im sorry I didn't mean to state it as fact, of course only Allah knows and like I said, this is just a preliminary assumption at best. I don't really know.
And you're right, it's not fair to say that. I apologize. I wouldn't like it if others called me a kafir or mushrik for my beliefs either.
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Oh sweety,
Big hugs... it can be difficult. At my masjid I am active, but I do keep most beliefs to myself. Most label me as "ooh she is new she does not get it yet"...lol Go and learn your Quran, they can't say anything about that. I pray with my congregation, I just don't say all that they say, but we are not saying tashoud out loud. I would like to think most people on this forum will be here for you. For me this is my family and friend network. I would have lost my mind with out all the wonderful people on here. Trust me.. venting can be a good thing!
So there is hope!!! I have to be careful with my in-laws, they live in Cairo too. My greatest benefit is the ocean. My husband is not a strict sunni. He does tend to take most quran over hadith. Except the anti-christ and all those end time things. We talk but there are certain topics concerning Islam we agree to not bring up as it will cause a huge argument.
I pray you find some peace sis
Yes I really am grateful for this forum. When I first denounced sunnism, I felt so alone. I felt like nothing will ever be the same again. I suddenly felt like a foreigner among my community. Few days later I found this forum and it has helped sooo much! I'm so fortunate al hamdulilah <3.
I wish I could attend those conferences and meetups you guys do in the UK and US. Been trying to get those in Egypt on free-minds to meet for a while now but no one seems to be responding! bleh!
And I know what you mean about your husband. My husband just recently woke up to the fact that there is no second coming of Isa and all the end times stuff. He does have difficulty understanding why so many hadiths predicting the signs of judgement day are coming true. I used to struggle with that, but not anymore. Im trusting God's word over the hearsay and so-called predicitions.
But I still have different views than my husband. For example he is not quite open to the idea that Muhammad may not have been the last messenger but only the last prophet, I on the other hand, so far, think that this is true. And its a very sensitive subject to talk about and sometimes get hot and not in a good way D.
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I not sure honestly where I stand on that, but I was writing what I have understood so far from the Quran and im just starting out on this journey. Also I would lieing if I said other quranists didn't influence that opinion. I don't think the majority do, and I wouldn't call them out and call them mushrikeen, because that's for Allah to judge, but there are some that really do almost 'worship' the prophet. Many lectures I've listened to and the sheikhs would tell the muslims they will not enter heaven if they don't truly love the prophet, and put him above all else, except Allah. They may not be praying to the prophet directly in the sense of ritualistic worship, nor depend on him for matters in life and their troubles, but sometimes sunnis and shias and put the prophet and/or his family on a pedestal.
im sorry I didn't mean to state it as fact, of course only Allah knows and like I said, this is just a preliminary assumption at best. I don't really know.
And you're right, it's not fair to say that. I apologize. I wouldn't like it if others called me a kafir or mushrik for my beliefs either.
I really relate to your original post and am glad that you put your feelings out there! I converted at the beginning of the year and I think that I will just stay to myself. I live in Indiana, United States and I dont think there is a big muslim community, however the masjid where I took my shahada I havent been to since taking it because of the very things you talked about in your post. I really do not know why I have to pray with my hair covered, and I feel absolutely silly wearing hijab to pray when I don't wear it out in the streets; of course I know I can't go to a masjid without it. I have nothing against the scarf and I wear it sometimes when I feel like it (and not in the traditional sunni way, I tie mine turban style usually...which I guess is also unacceptable in the masjid) but to me it is just an accessory like any other Jacket or hat etc...
It seems to me also that the Prophet is put on a pedestal, this is clear. I find it ironic because if you ask a Sunni directly about how they view the Prophet-- oh he is just another prophet as John and Moses and Abraham and Jes?s and Noah before him, only he is the last.....but yet every movement in their life is in someway revolved around what the Prophet Mouhammad did and said and thought,,,not around what the Prophet Mouhammad and the other 200 or so prophets did and said and thought. I mean at least in Christianity they are up front about their skirk lol. But hey man what about what God swt says for us to do and say and think? It always seems as though it is an afterthought.Question for you pixelangel--is the return of Jes?s not mentioned in the Quran I thought it was,,or maybe I assumed that it was but is this from hadith instead
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Peace be upon you PixelAngelBaby
Imagine how nice it would be to live in a world were we could be 100% true to ourselves and express our thoughts and opinions without being criticised or condemned for it. But unfortunately such a world seems to be far far away.
I understand how you feel. It's not easy to be alone with our beliefs. It's not easy to have no one to share our beliefs with. Its not easy to be misunderstood and misinterpreted day after day. It's not easy to pretend to be something we are not, or hide who we truly are.
I remember all the times I met my friends, and tried my best to enjoy the moment fully, but even dough I had company, I was still alone. I was alone spiritually. Because my friends did not know the real me. They didn't know who I am deep inside. My heart was not united with their hearts, because our belief systems were totally different. No matter how much they thought they knew me, they never knew the true me. I guess some people will never fit in. They are destined to be alone. Aloness is their destiny. But what is this thing called aloneness? Are we ever truly alone? Or is aloness an illusion? These are questions that I have sometimes pondered on.
I once read a verse in Quran which said that a believer will experience some aloness in his path, if I remember correctly. That verse was very comforting to read because it showed me that some periods when I have been alone in my life have benefited me. I don't know if I have ever felt truly alone. Because as long as I have God with me, I can not be truly alone. Even if I was trapped in a desert, or in a mountain thousand of miles away from civilization, I would not be alone as long as God is with me. I truly believe that. How can we be alone if God is with us? A man or woman who has forgotten God, will be alone even if he or she has thousands of friends. But if someone is alone in a desert or in a mountain, and no one else is with him or her, he or she will not be alone, even if he or she stays there more than one hundred years.
Mario--I do not mind feeling alone as you do; infact I prefer to be by myself. People annoy me too much lol. The difference with me is I feel alone and I do not feel as if God is always there. It is like, theoretically I believe He is there because he is suppose to be everywhere all the time, but I do not feel as if is directly connected to me. It as if my phone rings, and I answer it, but the person on the line does not say hello---but you do not hear the the dial tone so you know someone is there. And I don't mean that literally I am expecting God to speak to me, but...as it has been discussed on this f?rum...I feel like He is just there to watch everything and that is all. I do not feel I have a unique relationship with him, or I feel the relationship is 1-sided and I don't hear anything back. I dont know if that makes sense. I don't mind it I suppose, but I just wonder how you said that you are never alone and God is always with you...I don't think I have felt that before.
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peace PAB,
Do you have some inside info on what is going on in Egypt at the moment, i.e. demonstrations, rioting, factions, political turmoil etc?
From the news coverage I read there is apparently friction between "Islamist" and secular/liberal parties.To an outsider looking in, such as myself, I fail to see why there is so much turmoil. Surely, BOTH sides have the very basics in common, e.g. http//www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/index.shtml or similar. Sure they may disagree on some things, but surely they can work together and enshrine the core stuff into law.
Perhaps I'm missing something, hence me asking you here.
