I am getting depressed, Please help me
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Hi everyone
I would like to tell you my story in short. ( i am not so good in telling stories )
I have been born an raised a Sunni Muslimah in a traditional family. I always loved Eid, Ramadan and everything about it.
A couple of years ago (2004) i was in my early 20's and very very confused about life. I stumbled across a website that spoke on Quran Only (without hadith) i was really IN SHOCK. I started to really believe what was said but confused at the same time. I could not believe what i read. All my life we lived according to all these rituals. I wasn't the best in performing all these rituals so i didn't really do them all (what pissed my parents off -p)
After this shocking info, i just thought, fuck it, i am not doing this sh** no more so i went out and i try to forget about islam because it was too difficult.
When my father died a couple of years ago, i started thinking about life again (still going out at that time)
Now i have a boyfriend over 3 years and he we was also very strict, but i thought thats what i need to get back on track.
Now i "accidentilly' come across this website (last week) and i am all confused again. My confusion of 2004 is still not over.
I took off my head scarf and i dont pray. If i think of praying i dont wanna do it. Even though i really believe that Quran only is good.
I dont know whats wrong with me...
I have been reading all week about Quran only and how to pray or fast, i dont know how to do any of it. I see Rashad Khalifa praying 5 times and i some other people say 3 times.
I am confused
But the one thing that has positively changed in me is this
I have stopped seeing Allah as a man with a long beard who is always angry and trust me i have been thinking this for almost 30 years.
Now i see Allah as a light that i wanna be a part of
I just need the extra push and advice from fellow Quranist or better yet just Muslim
(sorry for my English)
Peace/Salaam
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'(
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Salaam MemberofIslam,
Firstly, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear that you feel depressed about this, I hope that smiley isn't literal.
Could you clarify what you are confused about? Are you confused about the differing practices in Quran only Islam? That there are different interpretations? This is due to the fact that it's ok if some people interpret 5 prayers or 2 prayers. Just as long as we stay true to the principles of the Quran, such as one God, then I believe in terms of practices, as long as it isn't against the Quran, whatever brings you closer to God is what matters.
That's great that you've been able to see beyond the stereotypical notions associated with God. In the Quran, Allah is described as the Light of the Heavens and the Earth - so you're right.
You've got a lot to be positive about if you ask me it seems like you actually care for the truth and are seeking God's guidance. These are the most pivotal steps that people can miss out on. We also all go through this differently. Some people come across evidence and accept it straight away. That's their way. Some people come across evidence and ponder it and take more time. Some people may even be anti-Islam but then one day come to Islam. It's not unheard of. So there's no need to worry if you seem to be at a different stage to other people. We're all on our own journey.
Is there something in particular you'd like more advice on? I'll try to help as much as I can, but you'll have to also look everything up for yourself as well because I can only offer you my perspective and understanding and that will always be limited, as well as the fact that some of the idea I have may also be evolving, so to speak as I study more. The best place to start as well is with prayer - just a simple du'a to Allah (swt). He hears and responds to every prayer, anyone that calls upon Him, whether "religious" or not.
Insha'Allah this helps.
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Firstly, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear that you feel depressed about this, I hope that smiley isn't literal.
A little bit.
Could you clarify what you are confused about? Are you confused about the differing practices in Quran only Islam? That there are different interpretations? This is due to the fact that it's ok if some people interpret 5 prayers or 2 prayers. Just as long as we stay true to the principles of the Quran, such as one God, then I believe in terms of practices, as long as it isn't against the Quran, whatever brings you closer to God is what matters.
I get confused on the practices of prayer and other stuff. I have been watching Rashad Khalifa a lot lately and he says we need to pray 5 times and say specific things. On other forums i see that it is only 3.
I have read the aya's on prayer (not the whole quran) and my understanding is also 3, but at night 'personal' quran reading is an option.
I feel a terrible human being for not knowing what i need to do and i am still very much under the influence of Sunni thinking that i am going to hell if i dont do this or that.
That's great that you've been able to see beyond the stereotypical notions associated with God. In the Quran, Allah is described as the Light of the Heavens and the Earth - so you're right.
You've got a lot to be positive about if you ask me it seems like you actually care for the truth and are seeking God's guidance. These are the most pivotal steps that people can miss out on. We also all go through this differently. Some people come across evidence and accept it straight away. That's their way. Some people come across evidence and ponder it and take more time. Some people may even be anti-Islam but then one day come to Islam. It's not unheard of. So there's no need to worry if you seem to be at a different stage to other people. We're all on our own journey.
I want to WANT to do the prayer and all the other stuff. Not because "i have to" or i am going to burn or get roasted.
Is there something in particular you'd like more advice on? I'll try to help as much as I can, but you'll have to also look everything up for yourself as well because I can only offer you my perspective and understanding and that will always be limited, as well as the fact that some of the idea I have may also be evolving, so to speak as I study more. The best place to start as well is with prayer - just a simple du'a to Allah (swt). He hears and responds to every prayer, anyone that calls upon Him, whether "religious" or not.
I try to talk to God, but sometimes i feel dumb i dont know why, maybe it is Shaytaan trying to ruin my life. I hate him.
I am always really scared at night and i just have these negative thoughts sometimes.
Maybe Allah doesnt want to help me?
Sometimes i have a moment that i feel that Allah is talking to me, the next day i do stuff that makes me feel that He left me again.
It is kind of hard to explain though.
Sorry for my English
Insha'Allah this helps.
I thank you for replying, i was looking every 10 minutes p
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I also think it is the environment i live in. I still live with my mother and siblings (5 sisters and 2 brothers). Some of them are praying etc.. others dont.
When my father died, i was prayin that he would answer correctly on the questions he gets in the grave.
I was really afraid that he will end up in hell. So someone told me and i read it that when a person is dead and you dream about him, whatever he says to you or however you see him it is the truth.
Every year around the date of his death i dream about him. He is very happy, last year i dreamt that he was praying and telling us that we need to do good.
I had a cat, he died last year, i was so heartbroken, he was also in that dream.
So you see. If i have to believe that hadiths are fake, then the dreams are maybe fake, so i dont know if my father is in a good place, the questioning in the grave never happens and a looooooooooot of other things.
That makes me sad, sad because everyting i ever knew turns out to be false. But also hopefull, because now i can discover for myself what the truth is.
Still i can't shake the feeling, that God will punish me, it is like that with every move i take, especially when i am with my boyfriend, i am always thinking that i am very evil.
Please i dont want to bother anyone, but nobody in my neighbourhood talks about these things and especially not about Quranism. They dont even know this exists.
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DI pray that you be a good muslimah in the sight of angels that in turns will pray for you to Allah.
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But also hopefull, because now i can discover for myself what the truth is.
Exactly. Hold on to that feeling. There's no need to be depressed...it's actually a very exciting thing tbh, there's so much to learn for yourself. The important thing in such voyages tends to be hold on to the basics. The basics you know to be right, the rest are mere details
If anything confuses you, be a good person, the way you know how, until you can work it out. Believe in yourself and your God given abilities to understand and make sense of all this and remember patience, it's a long journey and no one said it would be easy.
Peace
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A little bit.
Aww. hugs
I get confused on the practices of prayer and other stuff. I have been watching Rashad Khalifa a lot lately and he says we need to pray 5 times and say specific things. On other forums i see that it is only 3.
For myself personally, I have 2 daily prayers as I view Salat-ul-Wusta as a metaphorical statement about the balanced and moderate path, and that is why it is stated that its important. I would say right now, you don't need to think about that. You don't need to follow Rasha Khalifa's way, at least if you don't wish to. Just perform salat as much as you like. Maybe this confusion can occur because traditional Islam teaches people to be overly concerned with how many salat and so forth. Allah (swt) states that salat itself is important, in the Quran, as far as I recall there's nothing saying that what Allah (swt) is most concerned with you doing it 2,3,5,6 times. I believe Allah (swt) just wants us to communicate with Him regularly as this only benefits us. Nothing we do can help or harm our Lord. Salat seems to be a way to ensure you set aside some time to really connect.
I feel a terrible human being for not knowing what i need to do and i am still very much under the influence of Sunni thinking that i am going to hell if i dont do this or that.
Gradually with Allah's help and time you'll overcome that.
I want to WANT to do the prayer and all the other stuff. Not because "i have to" or i am going to burn or get roasted.
I believe hell is just a way of saying people should not want to do evil, not only is it wrong but there is a consequence and you can't just say oh well, maybe not believing in a Creator once the evidence comes to us isn't that bad. i.e. don't let this wordly life delude you. It is a serious matter and to show you its serious, here is the most clear warning you can get. It has its same power no matter how many times you read it. Are we supposed to focus on it or even consider it as the reason for why we follow the Message of our Creator? You're right, we don't. The warning is there for everyone - it could be some people need this kind of warning to "wake them up" just as the very initial point and to avoid very deliberate serious wrongdoing etc. I believe Allah (swt) cares about our sincerity not all these details. That's why I think its so wrong when people say if you don't pray in a particular way it nullifies prayer. Allah (swt) sees and knows the effort of a faithful servant.
I try to talk to God, but sometimes i feel dumb i dont know why, maybe it is Shaytaan trying to ruin my life. I hate him.
I am always really scared at night and i just have these negative thoughts sometimes.
Maybe Allah doesnt want to help me?
I have no idea if it is Shaytan, I'm not sure what Shaytan is but I don't think it matters. Simply seek refuge with Allah, as Allah advises. I'm not sure why you're scared at night but it's just another part of Allah's creation, it is He that has setup the system and all of it belongs to Him.
You shouldn't think Allah does not want to help you. The fact you are here doing all of this, and are clearly interested says a lot. Allah cares for us more than anyone else does. I know sometimes people look at the world and think how is this possible, but there is a lot we don't know and we seem to focus on the trials rather than the blessings. I'm not just talking at the blessings such as when we ask for specific blessings, I'm referring every single blessing that allows us to exist. Could we create all of this? Some people might think so, but we only create with the resources and knowledge that Allah bestows. (sorry, that's going on a big of a tangent.)
Sometimes i have a moment that i feel that Allah is talking to me, the next day i do stuff that makes me feel that He left me again.
It is kind of hard to explain though.
Sorry for my English
I thank you for replying, i was looking every 10 minutes p
You don't need to apologise. We can have those times where we feel less connected with Allah, just stay steadfast. Maybe those are the times when we actually are even closer to Allah than we imagine because of our steadfastness.
No problem, I'm glad if I can help. )
I also think it is the environment i live in. I still live with my mother and siblings (5 sisters and 2 brothers). Some of them are praying etc.. others dont.
When my father died, i was prayin that he would answer correctly on the questions he gets in the grave.
I was really afraid that he will end up in hell. So someone told me and i read it that when a person is dead and you dream about him, whatever he says to you or however you see him it is the truth.
Every year around the date of his death i dream about him. He is very happy, last year i dreamt that he was praying and telling us that we need to do good.
I had a cat, he died last year, i was so heartbroken, he was also in that dream.
So you see. If i have to believe that hadiths are fake, then the dreams are maybe fake, so i dont know if my father is in a good place, the questioning in the grave never happens and a looooooooooot of other things.
That makes me sad, sad because everyting i ever knew turns out to be false. But also hopefull, because now i can discover for myself what the truth is.
I'm sorry to hear that, you've been through a lot. The dreams are not necessarily fake, but just have faith in Allah's promise. He's been caring for our souls since their inception. If you just happened to have a bad dream as well, but it could just be for another reason, don't worry yourself about whether its real or not.
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peace,
"there is no progress without struggle"
In addition to the good advice already been given, not much to add except
Some exerpts from Quran - page
And confusion is no bad thing, it forces us to re-think/question and serves to remind us what the core is. And of course, without confusion how would one recognise clarity? )
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=14902.msg139026#msg139026 -
Salam
I can remember what it was like when I had to find that much of what I had firmly believed was not correct. it is clear that you feel like you're in a hole. thirty years to believe in something and to be convinced of it, and after being forced to realize that it is not so as was thought, is not easy. but be sure that God will help you. In fact he has already do so HE helped you that you has woken up and has led you to found the way to the Quran alone ).God is there and is always the same. People have always asked him for help and fasted -all a bit different.
It's not so much the form what it counts, but the content. Prayer is primarily for you alone. God does not need it. It gives you strength, peace, relaxation, help and more. ) If you have not discovered how many times yet, then just go on and start - God will help you!
I have already said elsewhere my opinion that many paths lead to God, because we are all different. But you are certainly on the right track, don't let different opinions confuse you. read the Quran itself and trying to understand it - God is the teacher of the Quran, and he gives wisdom to whom he will , try to ask HIM - and He will answer you. )
and don't be sad!
peace -
Salaam, member of islam.
Be kind to yourself, we people are not God, we are never going to be perfect. The most honourable thing that can ever be said of any uf us is that we did not give up, that we tried, and tried. But as the Qur'an itself says, we also need and get respite. You may be are overwhelmed, may be even by feelings of guilt one way or other. Let go of any feeling of guilt, let go of any need to hurry, let go of any thought that you are faulty and should have done this or been that. You are the est thing that you can be. Breath deep and take things with a lot of calm. I do not believe that hadith are any authority, but the same as with proverbs and popular wisdom there are some gems about them. There is on I particularly like attributed to Ali, but never mind where it comes from, if it does good It says slowness is from God, haste is from Satan. Godd things are done slowly and calmly, abeatuful landscape is contemplated calmly, divine light is too intense it is to be taken slowly.
Be easy on yourself and don't feel hurried in anything. As some brothers an sisters have told you, rituals are good, but they can wait their time and they are there to help, to make things easier not to make you feel guilty. If they do you more harm than good, leave till that changes if it does.
Rituals are like habits. We do need habits because they structure our life and are fit for a purpose, but if a habit becomes a burden instead of a help we must study why it is so and do whatever we find ois suitable.
At any rate, congratulations, and be glad. Every day is the beginning of the rest of your life and that is a really really pricelss gift.
Salaam
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Salaam member of Islam,
Welcome to the forum and I hope we can help you find your way if the good Lord's willing.
Even if you are in confusion over how to pray I recommend that you have some sort of communication with the Most Gracious, He will help you if you seek His nearness and guidance as well as protection from the evil one and hos followers. Submit to His will.
Apart from this, my brothers and sisters on this forum said some wise words.
I hope, God willing, that you will find your way which will look good in God's eyes.
God bless you
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I thank you all for your reactions. I will react to everyone this evening. I have school now.
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Exactly. Hold on to that feeling. There's no need to be depressed...it's actually a very exciting thing tbh, there's so much to learn for yourself. The important thing in such voyages tends to be hold on to the basics. The basics you know to be right, the rest are mere details
If anything confuses you, be a good person, the way you know how, until you can work it out. Believe in yourself and your God given abilities to understand and make sense of all this and remember patience, it's a long journey and no one said it would be easy.
Peace
I try to be. It is new to me and i hope Allah SWT will guide me to the right path.
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Aww. hugs
For myself personally, I have 2 daily prayers as I view Salat-ul-Wusta as a metaphorical statement about the balanced and moderate path, and that is why it is stated that its important. I would say right now, you don't need to think about that. You don't need to follow Rasha Khalifa's way, at least if you don't wish to. Just perform salat as much as you like. Maybe this confusion can occur because traditional Islam teaches people to be overly concerned with how many salat and so forth. Allah (swt) states that salat itself is important, in the Quran, as far as I recall there's nothing saying that what Allah (swt) is most concerned with you doing it 2,3,5,6 times. I believe Allah (swt) just wants us to communicate with Him regularly as this only benefits us. Nothing we do can help or harm our Lord. Salat seems to be a way to ensure you set aside some time to really connect.
Gradually with Allah's help and time you'll overcome that.
I believe hell is just a way of saying people should not want to do evil, not only is it wrong but there is a consequence and you can't just say oh well, maybe not believing in a Creator once the evidence comes to us isn't that bad. i.e. don't let this wordly life delude you. It is a serious matter and to show you its serious, here is the most clear warning you can get. It has its same power no matter how many times you read it. Are we supposed to focus on it or even consider it as the reason for why we follow the Message of our Creator? You're right, we don't. The warning is there for everyone - it could be some people need this kind of warning to "wake them up" just as the very initial point and to avoid very deliberate serious wrongdoing etc. I believe Allah (swt) cares about our sincerity not all these details. That's why I think its so wrong when people say if you don't pray in a particular way it nullifies prayer. Allah (swt) sees and knows the effort of a faithful servant.
I have no idea if it is Shaytan, I'm not sure what Shaytan is but I don't think it matters. Simply seek refuge with Allah, as Allah advises. I'm not sure why you're scared at night but it's just another part of Allah's creation, it is He that has setup the system and all of it belongs to Him.
You shouldn't think Allah does not want to help you. The fact you are here doing all of this, and are clearly interested says a lot. Allah cares for us more than anyone else does. I know sometimes people look at the world and think how is this possible, but there is a lot we don't know and we seem to focus on the trials rather than the blessings. I'm not just talking at the blessings such as when we ask for specific blessings, I'm referring every single blessing that allows us to exist. Could we create all of this? Some people might think so, but we only create with the resources and knowledge that Allah bestows. (sorry, that's going on a big of a tangent.)
You don't need to apologise. We can have those times where we feel less connected with Allah, just stay steadfast. Maybe those are the times when we actually are even closer to Allah than we imagine because of our steadfastness.
No problem, I'm glad if I can help. )
I'm sorry to hear that, you've been through a lot. The dreams are not necessarily fake, but just have faith in Allah's promise. He's been caring for our souls since their inception. If you just happened to have a bad dream as well, but it could just be for another reason, don't worry yourself about whether its real or not.
Hello
I wanted to thank you for that sweet post. I have prayed today without Hijab (headscarf) and with honesty, but i dont know if its ok. Still very very uncertain of what i am doing. I prayed 1 time today. Tomorrow i will try to pray 2 times ..
Anyway, i would like to know if anyone can describe the feeling they get when they are talking to Allah swt or the light they might be receiving is a genuine feeling.. because i want to pay more attention and focus more in my salaat.
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Salam
I can remember what it was like when I had to find that much of what I had firmly believed was not correct. it is clear that you feel like you're in a hole. thirty years to believe in something and to be convinced of it, and after being forced to realize that it is not so as was thought, is not easy. but be sure that God will help you. In fact he has already do so HE helped you that you has woken up and has led you to found the way to the Quran alone ).God is there and is always the same. People have always asked him for help and fasted -all a bit different.
It's not so much the form what it counts, but the content. Prayer is primarily for you alone. God does not need it. It gives you strength, peace, relaxation, help and more. ) If you have not discovered how many times yet, then just go on and start - God will help you!
I have already said elsewhere my opinion that many paths lead to God, because we are all different. But you are certainly on the right track, don't let different opinions confuse you. read the Quran itself and trying to understand it - God is the teacher of the Quran, and he gives wisdom to whom he will , try to ask HIM - and He will answer you. )
and don't be sad!
peaceIt is very very hard to change your way of thinking and trying to "reboot" yourself.
Its a learning process. But i want to experience that feeling of peace and comfort in my prayer or even when i am just talking to Allah some kind of feeling that comes over me ..
-
Hello
I wanted to thank you for that sweet post. I have prayed today without Hijab (headscarf) and with honesty, but i dont know if its ok. Still very very uncertain of what i am doing. I prayed 1 time today. Tomorrow i will try to pray 2 times ..
Anyway, i would like to know if anyone can describe the feeling they get when they are talking to Allah swt or the light they might be receiving is a genuine feeling.. because i want to pay more attention and focus more in my salaat.
Hi,
My pleasure. If you prayed with honesty, of course its ok! Allah (swt) gives us examples of the Prophets or other believers prayer and one thing that shines through is their sincerity. When I communicate with Allah (swt), I feel relaxed and rejuvenated. I actually used to pray with a headscarf initially when I came back to Islam but I kept forgetting to put it on, and I realised it didn't affect the way I prayed. Of course, some people like it because it feels humbling, so whatever suits each person. I also feel Allah's (swt) Mercy, Love and response and incredibly moved when I pray and then listen or read to the Quran prayerfully asking Allah to guide me. Even when I don't understand the words in Arabic I am moved, I think it speaks to our inner self - not to sound too mysterious.
It is very very hard to change your way of thinking and trying to "reboot" yourself.
Its a learning process. But i want to experience that feeling of peace and comfort in my prayer or even when i am just talking to Allah some kind of feeling that comes over me ..
If you keep loving God and praying openly, you will feel it in my opinion. You may feel complete peace and release straight away or it may take more time.
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Salam
I can remember what it was like when I had to find that much of what I had firmly believed was not correct. it is clear that you feel like you're in a hole. thirty years to believe in something and to be convinced of it, and after being forced to realize that it is not so as was thought, is not easy. but be sure that God will help you. In fact he has already do so HE helped you that you has woken up and has led you to found the way to the Quran alone ).God is there and is always the same. People have always asked him for help and fasted -all a bit different.
It's not so much the form what it counts, but the content. Prayer is primarily for you alone. God does not need it. It gives you strength, peace, relaxation, help and more. ) If you have not discovered how many times yet, then just go on and start - God will help you!
I have already said elsewhere my opinion that many paths lead to God, because we are all different. But you are certainly on the right track, don't let different opinions confuse you. read the Quran itself and trying to understand it - God is the teacher of the Quran, and he gives wisdom to whom he will , try to ask HIM - and He will answer you. )
and don't be sad!
peaceI miss you sister mirjamnur... http//2.bp.blogspot.com/-rnfZUujszZI/UZEFYJ269-I/AAAAAAAADnw/BbB-v_QWo1w/s1600/facebook-frown-emoticon.png I wonder where are you now?
I hope you are alright. group
Peace.
