im very depressed:( read please
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peace to all and may Gods mercy be upon the righteous
so basically i met a person online and we started to connect in a good way keeping it clean you know. After 4 months we decided to meet up, so we did, and we met up a second time. This time we were chilling near the lake and i couldnt resist it, i like this person alot, so i hugged her and you know as im a virgin my emotions flew..anyways one thing led to another, we first stood there and hugged eachother for a very long time..after a while i decided to kiss her so i had this mutah thing in my head, i told her to agrre to my wish to do mutah, and shes a christian..so basically we decided a period and a gift that i should give her..so aftet she accepted we kissed for a very long time..and tho i didnt feel bad right after (religiously) im now feeling a pain in my stomach and im very depressed and sad...i dont know what to do..please help me...btw i like this girl alot.
Btw i know whats lawful and not according to the quran and i compared to those around me am very religious but i dont know what happened.....i regret it because it was haram,but to what extent is it haram to kiss and hug and grind on a guy/ girl? Btw keep in mind that im not sunni nor shia a muslim, i just follow god trough the quran.
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Salaam,
When you feel / know that something goes wrong the only option is to istaghfaar 2816], 723] and many more. Try to get away from those things and never even think of doing so. This is how you can do islah of your deeds. And don't forget to seek Allah's help on every matter.
May Allah increase our knowledge and guide us on His path pr
mmKhan -
If you like her a lot (and if she feels the same for you), why don't you just make it official? Not through "Mut'a" (which in my eyes is a nicer word for prostitution) but through taking responability for ech other for the forseeable future (if you don't get along, you may still separate one day).
Islam has a pragmatic approach, searching for the best solution to each one involved in a situation. So why should you hurt her and hurt yourself instead of bringing happyness to both of you? Of course it should have gone the other way round, but now it is as it is and better agree on responsibility now than rejecting her now after you were already close, as this is like cheating her and would make it worse. -
... so i had this mutah thing in my head,
i told her to agrre to my wish to do mutah, and shes a christian..
so basically we decided a period and a gift that i should give her ...Btw i know whats lawful and not according to the quran ...
Btw keep in mind that im not sunni nor shia a muslim,
i just follow god trough the quran.Where does one find "this mutah thing" in the Qurn!?
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As I understand Mut'a and as you also wrote, it is for a limited time. But Quranic understanding of marriage does not include a fixed end. It should last for long unless the two sides find out that they cannot live according to the limits given by God, that is, be faithfull to each other. In that case, they may separate, but they should not start a relationship that they know will not last for long.
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Regarding the past... just accept it to yourself. If you feel you've done wrong, accept it to yourself and to The Creator. If you regret doing it, then just admit it. Don't go around feeling guilty. We all make mistakes. If you feel you've made a mistake, ask forgiveness from The Creator in a relaxed, open and sincere way. Asking forgiveness can do miracles.
For the future, you must decide what to do. You are 22. You are old enough to take full responsibility for your life and to decide a direction into the future. Is she of similar age? Basically, either you should be totally serious about her (and she about you) or else you should probably call things off. You cannot go half-half at this age.
So what I'm saying is, forget what has happened, and don't keep worrying about it. Also you need to decide how to go on from here. Basically, get over the bad feelings, make up your mind and move on.
But don't feel bad about feeling bad. Don't worry.
Peace
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I could only give you a liberal opinion. What is wrong with kissing and hugging? Who cares what religion says.
I'm a Muslim I drink sometimes with friends(although I never got drunk) I certainly don't care about religion. I'm pretty sure that a God would understand. In reality there is nothing wrong with liking a girl or guy with different religion or ethnicity. The guy/girl could be an atheist, jew or a satanist. Again who cares? My intrepretation on religion is that religion is not about controlling you but to make you happy as a believer on earth. Doing things that makes you happy as long as it does not harm you or others is allowed. This sounds logical from a God.
Btw i know whats lawful and not according to the quran and i compared to those around me am very religious but i dont know what happened.....i regret it because it was haram,but to what extent is it haram to kiss and hug and grind on a guy/ girl?
It depends on how conservative you are. I think the 'Mutah' thing is a pretty bad id?a. Any religious contract is. I could never bring a 'religious contract' on my girlfriend to accept. If I were to marry my girlfriend it would probaly be in a traditional church(or even a secular church) or the Arab way.
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If you are a believer in Allah then you are a believer in all of His Attributes; He is Rahman and Rahim; He is Abundantly Forgiving and Most Merciful; and He has prescribed for Himself Mercy upon us; He is Most Truthful to His Promise; and do not doubt such of His Attributes, to say the least; you have done no wrong at all - because you have been forgiven by the Most Generous a long long time ago, the very moment you felt the guilt and that is it; if you still have the guilt feeling, then Allah is Salam; He has given you Peace already; it is shaitan then who speaks to you against Allah's Attributes, to trouble your mind in the nicest possible way. 22.52. Do not keep consulting with him; turn to the Ever Generous Rahman, Rahim.
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If I were to marry my girlfriend it would probaly be in a traditional church(or even a secular church) or the Arab way.
Yay to the Arab way!
My advice to the original poster would be
-Don't feel bad
-Think clearly about how you feel and what you would like to do in regards to future course of action (no pun intended)
-Make maghfirath if that is genuine
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Peace agphys,
We all fall into sin. Such is the human condition.
What marks out a "good" sinner from a bad sinner is how quickly and how sincerely they ask for forgiveness after committing the sin.
I wasn't concerned with what you did and I don't judge you (God knows I've committed many sins), what concerned me, however, is your belief about the sin.
There is no such concept as mut'ah according to the Quran. You either marry someone with a view to stay with them, or you don't.
Forgive me, perhaps I misunderstood your meaning, but are you saying that you entered into a mut'ah contract with this girl in the belief that it is permissible ?
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SLM @agphys,
Its an agreement between the both both persons
I understand that you've persuaded your Christian lover into temporary marriage, aka. gratification marriage ! ... matter of fact is mutual agreement is no justification of anything here !
How do you do a marriage according to quran then?
Always consult G-D first and foremost !
His is the first and final, definitive word on all legal and illegal matters.The rules, process and/or preconditions of marriage (and divorce) can be found in the Qurn
~ sc. 2229-230, 2235, 422-25, 55, 2432-33, 26165-166, 2827Ponder!
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thank you for all of your replies, may god bless all of you.
I made a terrible mistake once again,i decided to meet up again and we decided to chill,one kiss let to another and there we were, at her home in the bed.
i have made a terrible mistake, i have done zina and i cant forgive myself for it, i dont know how i got there but it just happened...i wish i can go back and change some stuff. im very depressed, you must say that im really stupid, not gaining a lesson from the first mistake, but i didnt it seems and we went even further this time,way further...i feel like nothing is fun anymore and its like my whole world is collapsing. i did this anf its my fault,please keep me in your prayers,and only god alone can forgive.
i have done a terrible mistake, i know my mistake goes in under zina, i know this text wont change anything, i pray to god for forgivness.
my message to you is, quran is a way of life and it is perfected for success, dont disobey God.
"And let those who cannot find a match keep chaste till Allah give them independence by His grace. And such of your slaves as seek a writing (of emancipation), write it for them if ye are aware of aught of good in them, and bestow upon them of the wealth of Allah which He hath bestowed upon you. Force not your slave-girls to whoredom that ye may seek enjoyment of the life of the world, if they would preserve their chastity. And if one force them, then (unto them), after their compulsion, lo! Allah will be Forgiving, Merciful."
chapter 24 from Al Quran.
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i read from al quran that god says that the punishment is 100 lashes for zina/fornication.
Did you cheat on your "wife" also!?
how can i do this? can i go to a masjid and tell them so they can lash me? please only serious answers..
Try asking brother Jafar!
*I think he's got a whip somewhere (giggle) -
Did you cheat on your "wife" also!?
Try asking brother Jafar (giggle)!
He asked for serious answers and you do this? Shame on you brother...
I understand zina differently than you seem to do. To me zina means harlotry. You can find my interpretation and arguments for it here
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9606816.msg356341#msg356341
So, in my opinion there is no need to lash yourself brother.
Peace