UNLAWFUL SEX?

Man_of_Faith

What is fun with sex? It is mainly the stimulus one is after, with climax being orgasm.

imrankhawaja

What is fun with sex? It is mainly the stimulus one is after, with climax being orgasm.

lol,, its an habbit and addiction , a strange kind of... which only solved when u do it otherwise it will create a disturbance in the mechanism of body like a food is necessary for body , sex is also necessary for body but make sure excess of everything is bad.. so do sex with precautionary measures , like having no witness around you ..

Man_of_Faith

I am interested in knowing whether your argument is sound, imran. I have a hard time thinking that sex is necessary for the body if the spirit rules over body. The longest abstention on that part has been for about 1-2 months for me. I am curious if I can control myself sufficiently that I can abstain in the long run without complications. I hate becoming aroused as I feel enslaved to the body and it causes involuntary action because I have been too weak to resist. This is one of my only loads I carry with me today. Food is not so important and I can refrain from tastiness and I do not consume tea, coffee, alcohol, drugs, sugared drinks and foods, but the sex has been a harder chapter.

My only prevention towards sex is not looking at women it seems. The less clothes the worse, particular body parts worse than others. Perhaps I must take the step and move out in the desert or forest? Or perhaps I can through willpower refuse the body to react on visual stimulus. No matter what, today's mode of dress makes it hard for anyone who wish to abstain.

Be well
Amenuel

imrankhawaja

I am interested in knowing whether your argument is sound, imran. I have a hard time thinking that sex is necessary for the body if the spirit rules over body. The longest abstention on that part has been for about 1-2 months for me. I am curious if I can control myself sufficiently that I can abstain in the long run without complications. I hate becoming aroused as I feel enslaved to the body and it causes involuntary action because I have been too weak to resist. This is one of my only loads I carry with me today. Food is not so important and I can refrain from tastiness and I do not consume tea, coffee, alcohol, drugs, sugared drinks and foods, but the sex has been a harder chapter.

My only prevention towards sex is not looking at women it seems. The less clothes the worse, particular body parts worse than others. Perhaps I must take the step and move out in the desert or forest? Or perhaps I can through willpower refuse the body to react on visual stimulus. No matter what, today's mode of dress makes it hard for anyone who wish to abstain.

Be well
Amenuel

I know,, same towards me , I find it very hard to get rid of sexual desires , and whoever I encounter they have same situations , I am fully agree on it , problem started when we impose restrictions and live life according to the commandments of lord. like illegal intercourse. there the real test started . there is a limit of everything , what I want to say we control to our sex desires due to the obideince of God by avoiding it doing in a illegal way but its hard to get rid of masturbation . whenever desire arise 98 percent people unable to control it . that's the only thing I also feel uncomfortable as I feel its better to avoid, the solution of this problem is to get married but this is now a days very difficult. due to lot of materialist things, everybody want perfect mate which is not really possible now a days so this is a big test that anybody come across,

on the other hand people who are not sincear with God and morals they really don't bother about it , doing in one night stand, prostitution and causual flings... but a person who dnt want to do it due to the fear of God its something he suffering ..

some people are lucky some are unlucky to find partners in due time..

may God showers his blessing towards us.. I also ask God to sort out this problem for me clearly I m helpless on this matter.. although I m not involve in any type of activity which is forbidden by God.

peace

Man_of_Faith

Imran,

Merely looking upon a woman with desire is detrimental though, you do not need to do the actual "act". You have already committed adultery when you do the looking. The issue is because it is the instinctive arousal which matters and not so much about the actual act no matter if it sounds strange to someone who has been listening to sectarian dogma. Of course an actual intercourse is the height of instinctive failure.

When you look at a woman you begin to frustrate the body, "tease it" and the kind of frustration is hard to settle (without "doing it&quot. If you are weaker and do not resist at all then if the woman is actually trying to seduce you then you might fall for it. This kind of problem is not hard with a bit of control over matter. It takes a strong being.

It is the activation of the instinct we seek to avoid and it is what is most important.

Be well
Amenuel

imrankhawaja

ammanuel actual act does matter. infact. becoz whatever we think , like to murder somebody rob somebody, or make a plan to steal something or any corruption , I think as a fair logic it will not come on to account until we actually do it...

so same thing happen with this act.. looking at women is something we cannot escape. the area where I m living here education work living everything is co - operated . by man and women both . so I dnt think so its the case. yeh but if we look at each other by lusty eyes and make a plan and then try to accomplish this plan this is something which we should not do.

look at joseph event he was also struggling and he ask from God to sort the matter out becoz his will power was very strong but he was still feeling scared that if his will power get weak from the womens trick he will be among the losers.. so he spend years in prison without doing anything wrong. indeed he was one of the God patient one server..some times when I read the whole event of joseph I feel so much sad and emotional and when end of the story come I realise allah always make his sincear people victorious over other.. actually this story is a big lesson for us to control our sexual desires..

we are random people not even prophets or messengers so I can understand how hard is this test for us..

peace

Zulf

Imran bhai,

Man of Faith is actually right.
The "looking at women" is potentially harmful in the following way

It ruins your mental discipline. Actually, it is not the looking itself, or what you see, that is bad for you. It is like a drug. Easily available, but very strong, and seems totally harmless. The damage happens within us. You get caught in a sweet feeling habit. You become slave to this habit. You will more and more loose the control of your own mind. And, your mind is the most potent tool. It can be a very dangerous weapon against yourself. Your mind can ruin your life if you let it rule you. The mind is sweet talking, seems logic and sensible, but it is a big Trickster. Just like your Rabb is closer to your than your body, the Devil is also terribly close. The Devil is no farther away than your own mind, through which you get tempted and talked into doing wasteful things that are of no benefit at all.

Another aspect of gazing too much at women is that you may become totally fixated at the body (which is THE thing you are looking at). You might even end up evaluating women based on body. Welcome to Earth. Body is flesh is matter. Matter doesn't exist. So, when you spend your time gazing on Flesh, you do two harms at the same time.

1 - You are wasting time that could have been spent on refining your relationship with your mind, but...
2 - Instead you are making your mind more addicted to Hot Flesh. It will become more and more difficult to handle your mind when you wire it with spicy images of Flesh all the time.

So, what are you going to do when you're old and not interested in looking at Flesh anymore, but at the same time you have a rogue and uncontrolled mind acting like an impenetrable wall between you and Peace. Then you're toast!

In conclusion, Peace/Surrender/Letting Go is what we need. We reach it by training ourselves to NOT be slaves to our mind. Mind is an aspect of the body. Gazing at women will tease the mind and make it more difficult to attain peace.

The issue is not women, the issue is what we do. Do we do stuff that help to attain Surrender or do we do stuff that makes it more difficult to free ourselves from the material illusion we live (mind/body). In a state of surrender, a buzzing material surrounding is not a big deal to handle. But if we are all immersed in material perspectives, the materials world will totally dominate and rule us. What is this life about, if not to realize (know/experience) that we are not matter and flesh.

Cheers O0

Timotheus

Imran bhai,

Man of Faith is actually right.
The "looking at women" is potentially harmful in the following way

It ruins your mental discipline. Actually, it is not the looking itself, or what you see, that is bad for you. It is like a drug. Easily available, but very strong, and seems totally harmless. The damage happens within us. You get caught in a sweet feeling habit. You become slave to this habit. You will more and more loose the control of your own mind. And, your mind is the most potent tool. It can be a very dangerous weapon against yourself. Your mind can ruin your life if you let it rule you. The mind is sweet talking, seems logic and sensible, but it is a big Trickster. Just like your Rabb is closer to your than your body, the Devil is also terribly close. The Devil is no farther away than your own mind, through which you get tempted and talked into doing wasteful things that are of no benefit at all.

Another aspect of gazing too much at women is that you may become totally fixated at the body (which is THE thing you are looking at). You might even end up evaluating women based on body. Welcome to Earth. Body is flesh is matter. Matter doesn't exist. So, when you spend your time gazing on Flesh, you do two harms at the same time.

1 - You are wasting time that could have been spent on refining your relationship with your mind, but...
2 - Instead you are making your mind more addicted to Hot Flesh. It will become more and more difficult to handle your mind when you wire it with spicy images of Flesh all the time.

So, what are you going to do when you're old and not interested in looking at Flesh anymore, but at the same time you have a rogue and uncontrolled mind acting like an impenetrable wall between you and Peace. Then you're toast!

In conclusion, Peace/Surrender/Letting Go is what we need. We reach it by training ourselves to NOT be slaves to our mind. Mind is an aspect of the body. Gazing at women will tease the mind and make it more difficult to attain peace.

The issue is not women, the issue is what we do. Do we do stuff that help to attain Surrender or do we do stuff that makes it more difficult to free ourselves from the material illusion we live (mind/body). In a state of surrender, a buzzing material surrounding is not a big deal to handle. But if we are all immersed in material perspectives, the materials world will totally dominate and rule us. What is this life about, if not to realize (know/experience) that we are not matter and flesh.

Cheers O0

Peace
I think this is a great point, and very true. I totaly think that even looking in a lustfull way is harmfull

The biggest issue i have with this, and many other things, is that they are simply distractions..

you get distracted by a nice looking woman, or anything else like sports.. children, it can be anything, then some other distraction, and so on and so forth, and you have lost your consiousness of yourself (your true self) and God. it may be a minute, an hour, god willing not lifetime, though it is so for the ones who are not concsious of God, and your snapped back to reality (as in the true reality of you being a soul, with an account, which is going to be recompensed for on the last day), and unless you continuously gaurd against that kind of thing, you can very easily (and i find myself doing this sometimes) loose consciousness of God for a time.

God understands we forget, and the quran has a few examples of 'satan caused me to forget my fish' (the boy traveling with moses) or 'if satan causes you to forget, than after the reminder do not sit with them' (in regards to either idle talk or people talking falsehood about God, the quran etc, i cant recall exactly).. but the problem is, you let such a thing happen, and your leaving the door open so to speak, and generaly what comes in the door is satan or one of his freinds, with some rediculous misguidance, or another distraction..

we must gaurd ourselfs against evil, at all times... (i think this situation is prehaps what could possibly have been 'exposed' in the garden, when adam and his wife fell and realised they were 'naked&#039 though.. God knows and i do not, and that is certainly on of the multiple-meaning parts of the quran) i would be interested to hear others thoughts on that though. A great drawback for me often is my lack of understanding of arabic, which i only have a limited/basic knowledge of.

In regards to the original Topic, i think its very clear that god leaves no room for sex outside of marrige in His system. and this has always been the way, as far as i understand. prehaps i am mistaken, though however, i have chosen abstinence, god willing, untill i find a suitable partner, so i have not realy looked into marrige or sex, or related topics in the quran in depth, because i dont see myself being in a position of even meeting believing women face to face, god willing, at this stage of my life.

Peace.

imrankhawaja

Imran bhai,

Man of Faith is actually right.
The "looking at women" is potentially harmful in the following way

It ruins your mental discipline. Actually, it is not the looking itself, or what you see, that is bad for you. It is like a drug. Easily available, but very strong, and seems totally harmless. The damage happens within us. You get caught in a sweet feeling habit. You become slave to this habit. You will more and more loose the control of your own mind. And, your mind is the most potent tool. It can be a very dangerous weapon against yourself. Your mind can ruin your life if you let it rule you. The mind is sweet talking, seems logic and sensible, but it is a big Trickster. Just like your Rabb is closer to your than your body, the Devil is also terribly close. The Devil is no farther away than your own mind, through which you get tempted and talked into doing wasteful things that are of no benefit at all.

Another aspect of gazing too much at women is that you may become totally fixated at the body (which is THE thing you are looking at). You might even end up evaluating women based on body. Welcome to Earth. Body is flesh is matter. Matter doesn't exist. So, when you spend your time gazing on Flesh, you do two harms at the same time.

1 - You are wasting time that could have been spent on refining your relationship with your mind, but...
2 - Instead you are making your mind more addicted to Hot Flesh. It will become more and more difficult to handle your mind when you wire it with spicy images of Flesh all the time.

So, what are you going to do when you're old and not interested in looking at Flesh anymore, but at the same time you have a rogue and uncontrolled mind acting like an impenetrable wall between you and Peace. Then you're toast!

In conclusion, Peace/Surrender/Letting Go is what we need. We reach it by training ourselves to NOT be slaves to our mind. Mind is an aspect of the body. Gazing at women will tease the mind and make it more difficult to attain peace.

The issue is not women, the issue is what we do. Do we do stuff that help to attain Surrender or do we do stuff that makes it more difficult to free ourselves from the material illusion we live (mind/body). In a state of surrender, a buzzing material surrounding is not a big deal to handle. But if we are all immersed in material perspectives, the materials world will totally dominate and rule us. What is this life about, if not to realize (know/experience) that we are not matter and flesh.

Cheers O0

yeh zulf brother I am also agree with you.. and also with man of faith..

but problem here is this... what we both are talking its quite hard to avoid looking at womens... or to avoid thinking about fantasies.. as soon mind think about something then it wanted to think...
rest of the things we think but we also think their negative sides so finally we able to make a decision not to rob steal or murder ,,

but in the case of lust sex its quite hard to avoid the thoughts that automatically come in the mind... me and mof are agree on that.. and also agree on the point not to look at womes as quran also suggest us to lower our gaze.

but sometimes I think is it the work of satan who put these ideas in the mind .. and if it satan how come he puts the ideas in million people at same time , God is near to us becoz God is God , but satan how can he control our mind at the same time.. are there are lot of satans ..something we need to find out why we even think like that.. and when we start thinking 98 percent people failed to stop thinking ... we are apparently slave to our mind regarding this matter , rest of the things its easy to control apart from this...

I know its sound bit funny but I just share what I feel lolxx

peace

imrankhawaja

and another question?

if we somehow make ourself understand not to think about it , at the first instant,

what actions we should take to finding a life partner as everybody need it at some certain point of life. without it its quite hard to spend life .. and we also need to talk and understand our partner before getting into marriage. so this fault is already in human body which is continue to disturb until one get married...obviously when we plan to get married we will look at women or finding a women for marriage we will look around ...lol what steps should we take to finding a mate according to quran..

these are just common questions may be I see the reviews of you guys and it will help me understand these life issues..

peace

Timotheus

yeh zulf brother I am also agree with you.. and also with man of faith..

but problem here is this... what we both are talking its quite hard to avoid looking at womens... or to avoid thinking about fantasies.. as soon mind think about something then it wanted to think...
rest of the things we think but we also think their negative sides so finally we able to make a decision not to rob steal or murder ,,

but in the case of lust sex its quite hard to avoid the thoughts that automatically come in the mind... me and mof are agree on that.. and also agree on the point not to look at womes as quran also suggest us to lower our gaze.

but sometimes I think is it the work of satan who put these ideas in the mind .. and if it satan how come he puts the ideas in million people at same time , God is near to us becoz God is God , but satan how can he control our mind at the same time.. are there are lot of satans ..something we need to find out why we even think like that.. and when we start thinking 98 percent people failed to stop thinking ... we are apparently slave to our mind regarding this matter , rest of the things its easy to control apart from this...

I know its sound bit funny but I just share what I feel lolxx

peace

"but problem here is this... what we both are talking its quite hard to avoid looking at womens... or to avoid thinking about fantasies.. as soon mind think about something then it wanted to think... "

'if a thought from satan comes to you, you shall seek refuge in God"

"Do you think you would be left to say 'We believe' and you will not be tested"

"On no soul do we place a burden greater than it can bear"

"steadfastly perseverse, you will gain mastery if you are true in faith"

Life is a test, it may be HARD to avoid looking at women (i presume you mean in a lustfull way, or else you might as well wear a blindfold in public at all times), and thinking about fantasies. but actualy i find its not THAT hard, you just have to persevere. satan will try again, and again, and sometimes again. but generaly he gives up if you dont. but give him the tiniest amount off lee-way and your making it harder for you. not specificaly you or anyone else, speaking from my own experience more than anything, may guide guide us all to the straight path and forgive us.

Zulf

but sometimes I think is it the work of satan who put these ideas in the mind .. and if it satan how come he puts the ideas in million people at same time , God is near to us becoz God is God , but satan how can he control our mind at the same time.. are there are lot of satans ..

I don't believe in a duality as in God vs Satan.
God is ... unity. God has no Boss Enemy as such. There is no such opponent.
I do believe in spiritual beings, of many different kinds. Some may be malicious.

It is limiting and disempowering to blame stuff on Satan. We will only be able to advance if we take responsibility for our life.
Satan cannot control anything. We can be swayed by instinct and habit, when we let down the "guard"... when we forget. But nobody or nothing can control us unless we allow it, consciously or unconsciously. This is why we have to wake up to the realization that we are in charge. And I'm talking about in charge of the only things that matters, which is our awareness. Our awareness can be directed and trained! Our bodies may be chained, but our minds do not have to be chained. We can be free, if we decide to. Once we take action, nothing can stop us, except our own selves of course. We look for an external devil to watch out for, while we are totally blind to our own mind, which is no more than a computer or software, fused with the chemical machine called body. The mind and the chemicals of the body can be infinitely more dangerous than any fictitious Devil. Little do we know. The enemy is within.

Peace bro

Zulf

and another question?

if we somehow make ourself understand not to think about it , at the first instant,

what actions we should take to finding a life partner as everybody need it at some certain point of life. without it its quite hard to spend life .. and we also need to talk and understand our partner before getting into marriage. so this fault is already in human body which is continue to disturb until one get married...obviously when we plan to get married we will look at women or finding a women for marriage we will look around ...lol what steps should we take to finding a mate according to quran..

these are just common questions may be I see the reviews of you guys and it will help me understand these life issues..

peace

Living in society, and noticing women, is ok. It is not like your mind will be polluted as soon as beauty hits your retina, no.

The issue is the habit of mass consuming women visually, and be addicted to it. Then you have lost control. Noticing, on one hand, and visually consuming by habit, on the other hand, are two very different things.

Also, this "issue" is NOT solved by burqas or similar. A burqa would be ideal to hide women from the sight of men, however, it is not the women that are the issue. Even if women disappear from sight, the mind of the men have not changed. This is all about our awareness and attention. It is our mind that needs training. If women disappear from sight, the minds of men will latch onto other things. The problem remains, unchanged. Nothing of real value was solved by applying burqa on women. So, we must be able to tell apart cause from symptom.

But of course, this is also a philosophical subject that can be discussed forever without solution. One might argue that if the issue is the mind of men, then women should be able to go naked, since all that men need to do is to learn not to get distracted.
Well, balance is the key, as usual. And we live under certain conditions. Our biology is what it is, and it was designed like that, so we need to keep the actual issue in mind, while applying balance to how we address an issue. No burqa, not naked.

imrankhawaja

good points zulf,,

this topic is such a controversial topic on all of the aspects specially ,, when u do crime you always have fear inside , but this crime or sin I dnt know what type or category it have , it give u a state call intoxication , in which u want to to immerse urself ,
usually it all about mind , but that's what I am saying mind wanted it to happen.. there is a barrier that simply if we change our thinking but as soon we change after a period of time it come again in mind , its like a chasing thing .. its inside us. I remember a dialoge of fanna movie,,lol

hero said, I m the fragrance that reside inside the breath , how can you stop breathing yourself and get rid of me,,,

same until we are young and single this thing will never let us alone it will chase us.. this topic getting romantic now lol ,, but its good if we talk on general life sometimes apart from quran topics..

Zulf

but its good if we talk on general life sometimes apart from quran topics..

Yet, it's all very much related!

imrankhawaja

Yet, it's all very much related!

if you guys know Urdu there is an scandal of a Pakistani scholar of sunni sect and model qandeel Baloch..

its was so much funny lol

he even quoted a hadith according to him , he claim if you see a beautiful women and say her pray for me because God make you beautiful and he must listen your prayer .. lol I cant stop myself laughing see how they quote hadith for covering their lies...

es

if you guys know Urdu there is an scandal of a Pakistani scholar of sunni sect and model qandeel Baloch..

its was so much funny lol

he even quoted a hadith according to him , he claim if you see a beautiful women and say her pray for me because God make you beautiful and he must listen your prayer .. lol I cant stop myself laughing see how they quote hadith for covering their lies...

rotfl

You must post this link.

Timotheus

Peace,

I am seriously concerned with you sharing Scandal and immorality. Lets remember what the quran says about this

2416 And when you heard it you should have said "It was not right for us to speak of this. Glory be to You, this is a great lie."
2417 God warns you not to repeat something similar to this ever, if you are believers.
2418 And God clarifies for you the revelations; and God is Knower, Wise.
2419 As for those who enjoy that immorality spreads among those who have believed, they will have a painful retribution in the world and the Hereafter. And God knows while you do not know.

while this may not be the exact same circumstances, i think its still relevant and you should consider whether what you are doing is righteous or not.

Comrox

Peace,

I am seriously concerned with you sharing Scandal and immorality. Lets remember what the quran says about this

2416 And when you heard it you should have said "It was not right for us to speak of this. Glory be to You, this is a great lie."
2417 God warns you not to repeat something similar to this ever, if you are believers.
2418 And God clarifies for you the revelations; and God is Knower, Wise.
2419 As for those who enjoy that immorality spreads among those who have believed, they will have a painful retribution in the world and the Hereafter. And God knows while you do not know.

while this may not be the exact same circumstances, i think its still relevant and you should consider whether what you are doing is righteous or not.

The definition of righteousness doesn't mention sex or sexual acts, from what I remember.

Timotheus

The definition of righteousness doesn't mention sex or sexual acts, from what I remember.

Peace,

It does however mention believing in God, and obeying his commandments, and advice.
Part of which is what i have highlighted in my previous post.

Its up to you how you interpret it. Personaly when God says that he is testing us as to who is best in their deeds, and when god says to listen to what he has revealed, and follow the best of it, I dont see gossiping about immorality, sharing such things, and having a good old laugh at people transgressing against Gods laws, as following the best. that is not righteousness.

Again, it is only my intention to remind, prehaps the reminder may benefit someone