Beating of kids or threating them with light violence
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Hi Majidah,
Salaam,
I have seen some programs on TV "Super Nanny" and that program give me some idea how to treat a wild child without violence.
This is Globalisation lol So you have the Super Nanny in Sweden too? I've seen it here in Germany. And I learnd how it COULD BE .What monsters other parents have, and what kind of angels I have in compare to the terrorists the "Super Nanny" dealt with.
I wrote down some ideas and tried them since my little one (four years) just doesn't wanna go to bed, lay her head down and sleep just like her sister does. Of course we have the rituals, prayers, fairy-tale, a quite atmosphere... NOTHING HELPS ( she is jumping happily in her bed, singing, dancing,shaking her head with her long curly hair, singing ..... . finding thousands things she still needs... ?
She can't calm down, thats her problem. So sometimes she gets up up to ten times. And sometimes I can't even be mad with herDoes anybody has the same problem and can give some advices?
The tired Mama
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she is jumping happily in her bed, singing, dancing,shaking her head with her long curly hair, singing ..... . finding thousands things she still needs... ?
She can't calm down, thats her problem. So sometimes she gets up up to ten times. And sometimes I can't even be mad with herDoes anybody has the same problem and can give some advices?
The tired Mama
I actually dont see that you even have a problem...you are a very lucky women -blessed by The God with a heathy, lively and according to the description given - very sweet child...
To feel less tired just try thinking of thousands of those whose children are deadly sick or invalids or deaf or blind etc...
Also, do not forget to try giving birth to an another children, maybe then she`ll naturally calm down....
I would sugest not to suppres her temper....every proffesion has its difficulties and many people often feel tired ...so is the case with mamas
best wishes to happy Mama
Zlatan
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Selam
I actually dont see that you even have a problem...you are a very lucky women -blessed by The God with a heathy, lively and according to the description given - very sweet child...
To feel less tired just try thinking of thousands of those whose children are deadly sick or invalids or deaf or blind etc...
Ohh, I didn't say that I'm depressed and unhappy and close to comitting suicide because of my daughter. It just came to my head while reading about the "Super Nanny" and in her bedroom my little one was screaming...
I don't have to mention here always the worst cases when I write about my own situation. That's what I'm doing daily anyway - thanking God for everything I have including healthy kids.
Also, do not forget to try giving birth to an another children,
It's good that you reminded me. I just prayed to God for a another kid this morning - in the meantime I forgot about it. lol
Salam
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Peace be upon you Warda,
Evertything is a test to see if we can keep a peaceful mind. Nothing outside of us should be able to effect our state.
Regarding her jumping around at night, I guess we all were at that stage, maybe try to meditate with her at night. It involved DEEP LONG BREATHING which eliminates those inner drives which are keeping her "excited"! Just observe someone as the fall asleep, thier breathing becomes very deep.
Also, watch the sugar!
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Greetings Warda,
she is jumping happily in her bed, singing, dancing,shaking her head with her long curly hair, singing ..... . finding thousands things she still needs...
Let her jump as much as she wants on the matress and take lots and lots of pictures when she does to show them when she gets old. I will be 21 in three weeks and I still jump on my matress )
Let her enjoy her childhood while she can because the older you get the more you realize how much life sucks and somehow jumping on the matress doesn't make you feel as much happy at 20
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Salam Kyle and GL
Thanks for your nice posts...DI guess we all were at that stage, maybe try to meditate with her at night. It involved DEEP LONG BREATHING which eliminates those inner drives which are keeping her "excited"! Just
Thank you Kyle, I will try it tonight! I'll tell you I succeeded or not. )
Let her jump as much as she wants on the matress and take lots and lots of pictures when she does to show them when she gets old. I will be 21 in three weeks and I still jump on my matress Smile
Let her enjoy her childhood while she can because the older you get the more you realize how much life sucks and somehow jumping on the matress doesn't make you feel as much happy at 20 Sad
See, that's how I see it also. However in REALITY of daily life the kid needs around ten/eleven hours of sleep to stay healthy. Since we have to get up in the morning early there is a limit at which she needs to sleep anyway. That's the point. Not to mention that Mama wants to read Posts at free-minds, read, study, watch TV,... in the evening before she goes to bed also.D
Salams
warda -
Peace
Ohh, I didn't say that I'm depressed and unhappy and close to comitting suicide because of my daughter. It just came to my head while reading about the "Super Nanny" and in her bedroom my little one was screaming...
sorry ops , it seems that i have projected my own frustration on you... i also have a four year kid... maybe they could marry in future cause they, as it seems, have very similar tempers
Nevertheless, try making your dother as bussy as much you can thrughout the day(for example -long walks), so she will be more prone to fall asleep in the night...
One of the tricks that also sometimes work is that you turn all the lights in the house off and pretend that you gonna go to sleep as well... lol
best wishes
Zlatan
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Greetings Warda,
You might find this article interesting http//my.webmd.com/content/article/42/1739_50197.htm and this one
http//my.webmd.com/content/chat_transcripts/1/100804.htmI haven't been around little kids since like 10 years or something and they sound like so much fun (I mean, jumping on the mattress, how much fun is that?)...makes me wanna adopt a cute kid D
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Salam Kyle, GL, and Zlatan
maybe try to meditate with her at night. It involved DEEP LONG BREATHING which eliminates those inner drives which are keeping her "excited"!
It worked. At least yesterday I don't know whether she was too tired anyway, but she liked it, turned around after a little while and slept !!!!! This happens once in six months
Saalam Green Leaves,
thanks for the links! They're quite interesting.Salam Zlatan
sorry Embarassed , it seems that i have projected my own frustration on you... Smile i also have a four year kid... maybe they could marry in future cause they, as it seems, have very similar tempers
No problem! So do you have a boy? I will ask my princess what she thinks about our arranged wedding at the age of four lol
Zlatan, if I may ask isn't your name slavish?Salam Aleikum
warda -
Salaam warda,
Yes we have also got that TV show at last I will say because we seems to always be the last one!
I think it's a good program so I will go on and watch it more times.
Take Care!
Sis Majidah -
Peace people,
Well I'm sorry to have to say that I had to spank my sons bottom earlier today because he absolutely refuses to be potty trained. When I say he refuses, that's what I mean.....he absolutely refuses to be potty trained.
My wife and I have been trying to potty train him for the past three-four weeks now to no avail whatsoever. We will sit him on his potty at certain times and try to get him to handle his business. Each and Every time, he did not go to the potty, but as soon as we take him off of it and put a pull up on him, he will sneak off somewhere by himself and unload in his pull-up. Do you guys have any idea how fustrating this is??
Well, as always, I have been at it all day around the clock with him. I put him on the potty three times today and all three times he did not go. After the third time, I put a some underwear on him and about 5-10 minutes later, he once again went somewhere by himself and unloaded. Because I am pretty much at my wits end I had to go to his bottom for doing this and I had to for two reasons.........
One, he made a very bad mess with this deed. Remember, this round I did not put a pull up on him (because it wasn't bed time yet) I put a pair of underwear on him. Well making a mess in a pair of underwear is a whole different breed of chaos than making one in a pull up.
Two....anothe reason that I had to tap his little behind is because something tells me that he knows what he is doing. He always sneaks off somewhere alone to do this. There have been times where we caught him just in time and we'll hurry and snatch him up and put him on the potty. Most times though, he'll just hold it until we take him off of it. The fact that he always goes somewhere alone away from me and his mother suggests to me that he has a master plan that he's working on when he does this.
Now his older brother, my 7 year old, is really, really asking for it. My wife and I use spankings very sparingly...only to draw a line somewhere. But my seven year old son has really been pushing his luck and trying my patience lately.
Kyle made the statement that his cultural upbringing has made him used to butt whoopins. I'm also an African American and my mother used to beat me and yet I am very close to her because I understand the role whoopins have in an upbringing.
I do believe that there is a difference between spankings and child abuse. And I also believe that the key is to make sure we as parents balance everything out. Yes, discipline your children, but make sure you show them just as much love and compassion as you do disciplinary action. Try not to overdue one or the other. Too much of one (spanking) can result in an emotionally dysfunctional member of society and too much of the other (no spanking, but spoiling the child) can result in someone growing up not understanding that the world does not revolve around him/her and that there are consequences and repercussions for things that we shouldn't do but do anyway because we think we are unpunishable.
As I write this e-mail, I am trying my utmost to hold on to my patience concerning my seven year old son, but between his behaviour in school and the disrespect he's starting to display at home, I may have to remind him that there are certain things that I simply will not tolerate.
Salaam,
Damon. -
Salaam Damon,
There are ways to get your child to use the potty correctly. Keep in mind that the control of elimination for children is a way for them to express independence. You should try putting your child on the toilet when you see that he/she needs to do so. Learning through observation is a good thing too. The questions will come and you just need to knock them down. Remember, don't make it a bad experience for the child. Encourage and reinforce.
Joe
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Peace Joe,
Salaam Damon,
There are ways to get your child to use the potty correctly. Keep in mind that the control of elimination for children is a way for them to express independence. You should try putting your child on the toilet when you see that he/she needs to do so. Learning through observation is a good thing too. The questions will come and you just need to knock them down. Remember, don't make it a bad experience for the child. Encourage and reinforce.
Joe
Thanx for the advise Joe, I'll give it a try, GOD Willing.
By the way, I guess I should tell you guys that my wife and I have just found out that we have a third one on the way (GOD Willing) D
We already have two boys (ages 3 and 7), maybe GOD will give us a girl this time.
Peace all,
Damon. -
Peace,
My son is now about 3 and a half year old and he is very good to pee on the toilet but when he was only 3 years old he also refuses to sit on his potty even if he did it at kindergarden.
I asked him if he wanted to try the big toilet were mummy used to pee and then he got exited and give it a try and he liked it and today he always use the toilet.
I think you have to encourage him to use the toilet and describe in a fun way that it is actually only babies who use diapers.
Why can't you find a nice children book with pictures of kids doing things in the bathroom like peeing on the potty or the toilet and brush their teeth and so on then maybe he will be willing to learn.
Forcing a kid is never good and the reult will come much later than if you make it on a fun way.
Hope it helps!
Peace
Sis Majidah -
Salaam Damon n all,
Glad I took the time to check this thread out today... I couldn't stop myself from smiling when I was reading Damon's ordeal with Potty training. Damon... I take it your 3 year old son is the problem child? Here's my advice... let him go on that issue. I know exactly where you're at, because I had it worse than you did! My son only caved in at 4 years old! What's worse with my son was, that he didn't want to take a dump at all, even in his pull up when we fought with him vigorously! I kept fighting with him coz my wife kept telling me how worried she was about the whole ordeal. I wasn't too worried about it, but she got me worked up. So anyway, finally this doctor gave us this prescription kinda laxative to give him with his milk. For some reason, right after, he asked us all by himself to go to the toilet! D
Moral of the story, let your son take his time. He knows it's not a good thing to poopoo in the pull up, but as Joe said... it's the only independence he's got right now. That's his thing and you cannot take it away from him, until he decides to give it up. The fighting will only make it worse. Your expectations have nothing to do with it. lol
Peace be with you brother and your family. And congratulations on your number 3. I have 2 boys also, but those will have to do for now. wink
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Salam Damon
By the way, I guess I should tell you guys that my wife and I have just found out that we have a third one on the way (GOD Willing) Very Happy
CONGRATULATION !! D D
Regarding your three year old son don't beat him or spank his bottom, cause it really will make it worse and maybe he understands at all why you are beating him. I used to have the same problem with my little one. She used to pee wherever she stood, of course I was angry, but at the same I felt sorry for her, couse she doesn't know and understand. If I would have slapt her, it doesn't make it better but worse. My advice talk to him very seriously, loud but without screaming. Or tell him if he does the same, he will not get... (something he loves) or other way round, as soon as he succeeded and does well give him something he loves and tell him how much you love him, well, but I'm sure you do so.
GOOD LUCK!
Salam
warda -
Peace be upon you all!
We have our first one on the way (30 days), God Willing
I will never hit my child.Salaam,
I have seen some programs on TV "Super Nanny" and that program give me some idea how to treat a wild child without violence.
I saw that program today )