The Rights of Children
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Well, Comrox, I am not sorry for sll my mother and I have gone through, alhough I do not agree with your formulation. I amnot sorry, at all. That has been my life, the one I have had, and I am thankful for it nd ot sorry. That is te one God gave me. Was fair ll that happenned to me? For sure not, but then the good things were they fair?
I disagree comletely with this outlook that we are owed anything, or that we should come into a perfect life. We are who we ar and we live what God, yes God has given as to live. Some lives and some events are awful, agreed, and not deserved. But life is not about that. Moral ijunctions ar for us to live by them, but not for everything to be owe to us. I do not rgret a single minute of my life, not even those of great suffering.
Thinking that we ar owed so much is an appropriate attitude for young eople to fight for their own self preservation nd aims, but it is not an apppropriate feeling to have all through life. Also, when we have some good, like being born, like being ourselves, we cannot not acknoledge such thing. Of coure even the worse mother gives us life. Yu have to acknowledge that, becaue that is reality, that is God's law, it i not that what makes you feel that you do not deserve anything, it is the judgement of your mothr's or father's worth that makes you worthless to your own eyes.
I think we live in a time where we have somany rights that we think tht if he world does not run so we get all those things we should that it is our fault or somebody else?s fault and that we ar nothing. We are always something, always something and if nobody loves us at least we shoudllove ourelves.
Nobody es obliged to be a parent but nobody can prohibit anybody to bee a parent either, would you prohibit it.
I have not said that you should submit toyour parents if theuyy re not just, I have said the opposite. But by givin them so much power you are cknowledging their right to spoil your life, even if that is not what they want and they dowhat you find unjust just because they are not caable of getting themselves out of their own mental or emotional entrapments.
Parents are not God, neithr are they allpowerful nor are they erfect nor many times have any mercy. So the ball is in your court. You have to fend for yourselves and you have to do whatever yu have to do. Nobody can do it in your place. And you haveto realise that whaever bad happens to one, it is always and opportunity for something, may be for something we have not even imagined. We hve to accept it as a gift from God just as we accept the good things. Nothing, neithr the bad nor the good things are due to us. They are just material with which we make our own life.
Rights of Children... In our modern world there are nice speeches, Unicef and so much blabber about children. The fact is that right now there are many millions being bombed and hungry and suffering beyond imagination. Who should then should assure those children "their rights". Should heir parents not have had them?
Salaam
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Peace,
All I am saying is that children should not be abused or neglected in any way. They should not be deprived of any physical, mental, emotional, or social need, of which I consider all to be fundamental to a child's development. Children should not be deprived of these needs just like no one else should be deprived of these needs either. IMO, every human being, no matter what their life stage, has a right to this fulfillment.
When a child is an adult, then they have control of their environment and their lives and they are responsible for themselves.
But a young child is different. They cannot be entirely responsible for themselves. They are unable to care for themselves. Therefore their parents are responsible. They are dependent on their parents to provide for basic needs.
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Peace all,
I was doing some general Islamic research on the rights of children and came across the following information, on the rights of children where hadith is considered
2 The childrens rights.
Allaah has given children rights over their parents just as the parents have rights over their children.
It was narrated that Ibn Umar said Allaah has called them abraar (righteous) because they honoured (barru) their fathers and children. Just as your father has rights over you, so too your child has rights over you.
Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 94.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to a hadeeth (prophetic narration) narrated by Abd-Allaah ibn Umar, and your child has rights over you. Muslim, 1159.
The article goes on from there with quotes from multiple hadith sources, but it's long so I won't go further. Anyone interested in reading it fully can do so.
source https//islamqa.info/en/20064
The same IslamQA answer goes on to interpret 243 in an interesting way - basically saying that potential parents are responsible for choosing the right partner, with good religious or moral character - someone who is going to be righteous and caring and responsible - when it comes to their future children (so they shouldn't marry someone who doesn't possess the right qualities).
A few other articles with more information
Children, according to Islam, are entitled to various rights. The first and foremost of these rights is the right to be properly brought up, raised and educated. This means that children should be given suitable, sufficient, sound and adequate religious, ethical and moral guidance to last them for their entire lives. They should be engraved with true values, the meaning of right and wrong, true and false, correct and incorrect, appropriate and inappropriate and so forth and so on. Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Quran
"O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones." (666)
Allahs Apostle, PBUH also said "Every one of you (people) is a shepherd. And every one is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family, and he is responsible for them." This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim.
Children, therefore are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be responsible for this trust on the Day of Judgement. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and essential religious teachings of their children.
If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of Judgement. The children will become better citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this life, and in the hereafter.
Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Quran
"And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their families Nor shall We deprive them (of the fruit) of aught of their works (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds." (5221)
It is narrated by Abu Bakr, RAA, who said that Allah's Apostle, PBUH, was approached by one of his companions, al-N'uman bin Basheer, who said "O Prophet of Allah! I have granted a servant to one of my children (asking him to testify to that gift)." But Allah's PBUH asked him "Did you grant the same to each and every child of yours?" When Allah's Apostle, PBUH was informed negatively about that, he said "Fear Allah, the Almighty, and be fair and just to all your children. Seek the testimony of another person, other than me. I will not testify to an act of injustice." This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim. Thus, Allah's Apostle, PBUH called such an act of preference of one child over the others an act of "injustice." Injustice is prohibited and forbidden in Islam.
source https//www.missionislam.com/family/childrensrights.htm
(2) Rights of Children
Now let us see the other side of the coin. We have mentioned that Parent-child relation is a reciprocal one. The Rights of Parents (discussed above) are the Duties of children. Now let us see what are the Rights of Children (and Duties of Parents) in Islam. These can be summarized as under
(1) Children have the right to be fed, clothed and protected till they grow up to adulhood. It is, primarily, the duty of the father to do that. Mother can provide help if necessary. Protection means protection against physical as well as moral and intellectual harm. Parents are duty bound to see that the childs personality develops in all fields. So if the parents have to resort to strictness for the sake of disciplining the children and protecting them from intellectually, morally and religiously undesirable behaviour, children should not resent their strictness. Let them perform their duty as parents. Childrens duty is not to protest or be rude but to listen and obey. Theirs not to question why; theirs but to do and die.(2) Right to education.
In Islam education is not limited to bookish knowledge but includes moral and religious training also. It means healthy all-round growth of childs personality. Parents must not only provide for childrens education in schools and colleges but should also take personal interest in their studies, helping them if they can. This gives children a feeling of working with the parents and encourages them in studies. Parents should sacrifice their own comfort and social activities and must spare some time to take interest in childrens studies, especially when they are young. Leaving children to the mercy of teachers or tutors is not a wise policy. And of course, parents should not forget or neglect imparting religious/moral training to children. A little sacrifice on part of parents will save children from moral disasters. Effective moral training comes not from sermons, advice and precepts but from parents personal examples of good behaviour. It is a famous Tradition of the Prophet (PBUH) that acquisition of knowledge is a must for every Muslim boy and girl. Another Hadith says, The best of you is one who gives a good education (intellectual and moral) to his children. Another Hadith lays stress on education of daughters. The Prophet (PBUH) once said, He who provides good upbringing to 3 daughters shall go to Paradise. A man asked, what if one has only two daughters. He also shall go to Paradise. Another man asked, and what if one has only one daughter? He too, replied the Prophet (PBUH).(3) Right to love and affection
Children have many psychological needs also. Small children need to be loved, caressed, kissed and hugged. The Prophet loved children greatly. He would allow his grandsons Hassan and Hussain (R.A) to ride his shoulders even during his prayers. In streets he would offer salaam to children, play and cut jokes with them. Sometimes he would even kiss small children in the street. Once a Bedouin saw the Prophet kissing a small kid. Out of wonder he said, I have eight children but I never kiss them. The Prophet remarked, What can I do if Allah has taken away love and compassion from your heart. The Prophet would show special kindness to orphaned children. Some parents believe that being frank with children is not good from discipline point of view. This is wrong. Love and leniency can do much that fear and strictness cannot do. If leniency leads to rudeness on the part of children it should be mixed with strictness. That will tell the children that parents are basically kind but can be tough if children show rudeness and bad manners. Over-protection and over-care are undesirable. Let the child grow up as a responsible person. Only provide them guidance.(4) Right to be well provided (materially)
A Hadith says, It is better for parents to leave their children well provided (financially) than to leave them in poverty. This means that parents should not spend all that they have on their own comforts and luxuries but must make provisions for childrens welfare after the parents die. These are brief outlines of the Rights and Duties of both parties in the Parent-child relationship. If the parents and children act according to these guidelines they can make the family environment most conducive to peace and satisfaction for the parents and healthy personality growth for children.source http//www.islam101.com/sociology/parchild.htm
Role of Parents
The Holy Quran awakens the spirit of parenting by making us realize that children are not only the pomp and glitter of our lives, but also a trust from Allah in our hands.Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world
This trust from Allah in the form of blessing of young souls enlightening our dull lives can be fulfilled if we groom our offspring according to the commandments of the Creator who created both, and ordered us to protect our valuable investment of children from the dangerous Hell-Fire.
O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families Hell-Fire, whose..
By the same token this divine trust can be breached if we do not take care of our kids properly, and they grow up to be disobedient to Allah and His Messenger's order, as well as do not implement Islamic lifestyle. Then they would become a hurdle and obstacle for us to practice our deen, as Allah has informed us.
O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (i.e. may stop you from the obedience of Allah), therefore beware of them!
Certainly the parents' role towards their children is to nurture them in light of Islamic teachings so that there can be a healthy and conducive atmosphere to establish an ideal Islamic society. This is why Allah calls the raising of children a big trial and test to examine the parents' commitment to Allah and Islam in the form of raising pious good children or fail the test and raise corrupt and mischievous children.
source http//www.worldbulletin.net/author/ahmad-jawad/36/parent-children-relationship-in-light-of-quran-sunnah
Obviously I know the vast majority of people visiting this site reject hadith so most of this information may be rejected, but, still something to ponder on I thought.
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Does anyone happen to have insight into 985?
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peace
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One thing about that site you quote is that still they consider that only half humanity has own will, that is, males. It cntinues saying in english "your wives and your children",where it says your mates and your children. Women also have children, in fact they have he children more hn he males, but still, who cares about them.
9.85.
It is obvious that it points to the worldly value we put on everything, how we admire the "rich and beautiful" and consider their lives as worht envying or admiring, and children are part of it. Think of Ibrahim sacrifice as oposed to that as the realisation that our children are not for us nor belong to us, but re indeendent of us and the only success for us is to lead them to submit to God, if the children will. Because if hey will not there is nothing to do.
Watch carefully the dilog between Ibrahimand his son, because that is about the best image of what the ideal parent and child relationshi should be. And if it is true that when that happens the son is not any more a small kid, you cannot come to that kind of relationship without building it since the beginning or at least for a long time before. To me, as regards parent and child interaction that scene is worth hundreds of pages and brings Ibrahim closer to the reader tha anywhere else in the book. That "my dear little son" , full of overflowing tenderness and the concern for his son's oinion says more than five treaties on the rights of children.
Salaam