Is it wrong to disobey parents if
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Salam,
before doing anything, have the man visit your family and ask your parents for permission to marry you.
Do your parents know that you're a believer?
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Salam, no point in asking for permission when the obvious answer is no and it would probably lead to an argument.
They dont know I reject traditional way of following Islam so thats another issue. They would expect him to prove he knows about all the rituals and stuff. No way I can tell them I pray differently etc cause as you can see theyre not open minded at all. -
Salam, no point in asking for permission when the obvious answer is no and it would probably lead to an argument.
They dont know I reject traditional way of following Islam so thats another issue. They would expect him to prove he knows about all the rituals and stuff. No way I can tell them I pray differently etc cause as you can see theyre not open minded at all.Peace Amra94, I sympathize with you. Most of us from traditional Muslim households have been in similar situation. First, I urge you to seek help via salat and do good deeds such as charity. Patience will pay off, and the Lord shall be your strength.
Next, I wonder what you think about you and your fianc? staging a sunni charade in presence of your parents. You don't have to revert to sunni ways, just pretend to be sunni to gain their trust. Probably, they might change their mind on your fianc? and let you go.For me this is the only way when I return back home to my parents. It is a shame on my part, but my parents are ardent sunnis and won't entertain any Qur'an alone perspective on Islam. I still depend on them financially and I live under their roof. But God willing as soon as I move out and start earning enough for myself, I'll ditch my sunni charade for good.
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Salaam Amra,
I wish you all the best. Perhaps I speak from life experience, but it is best to not break certain relationships and to accord them a certain dignity and respect even if it is one sided. It is always better to act with patience and peace than to seek an alternative route.
No one else can walk in your shoes.
I wish you all the best.
Peace.
Sajda.
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Salam, we would pretend to be sunni if my parents were even willing to listen to me. They legit cant get past the guy not changing his name to an Arab name. Based on that they assume he's lying not really Muslim. And every time I try talking to them in a respectful way seems like it only makes things worse bcs they realize I'm not gonna break up. I have been very patient, praying more etc. My mom is of course trying to emotionally manipulate me and says if I marry him she's gonna have a heart attack, that I'll go to hell etc. Wont be able to stay here much longer tbh.
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Can't you drop this project of yours for a little while ? You look like you have some priorities to take care of.
Why not start from zero, build up your little wings slowly but surely and take control over your life. As that happens, you will be able to move out, and they will also respect your decisions as a grown up independent individual. Let your father keep the car keys (assuming he bought it) and use the public transport. And while you work on your life, time will show you new routes, new perspectives, and time will disclose new things about yourself and the person you wanna marry. You might become thankful that you waited.
That being said, I think your parents are wrong but that is okay you shouldn't try to demonize them.My point is, it is your life first. don't try to build something on shaky grounds. figure things out slowly. Nothing deserves more attention than our own life.
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Peace Amra,
Besides getting married to this gentleman, what are some of your goals in the nearest future?
Are you going to school? What are you studying? What do you want to become?
Like Cerberus said, keep your mind focused on yourself primarily. We are not saying break up with the guy and move on. We are saying give it time, fulfill your near future goals and aspirations. Finishing school and earning an education is so important, it might not be as easy to do once you're fully invested in a committed relationship or marriage. Therefore, focus on your immediate priorities, establish yourself. God forbid but relationships can get sour even among believers. No one is perfect. What will you have to fall back upon if you do not have an education, degree or career?Neptin gave the best advice keep steadfast to your salat and indulge in sadaqqat Our Lord is Ever Near.
Do not despair and remain patient