The Ultimate Guide to Conquer Desires

[The_Middle_Path]

Peace Euphoric,

There's whim and there's desire. Whim is impulsive while desire is a want or wish.

Whims shouldn't be followed while desire should be kept under control.

Mukhlaseen means those who purify, to separate and get rid of adulteration.

Thank you for your meaningful and helpful/useful post.

[jkhan]

Peace jkhan, and fellow members

Your claim sounds reasonable when you say that those three (things) make a person go against God. But are you sure that other than that, having desire of any nature is absolutely fine from the quran's point of view? If having desire of any nature is absolutely fine from the quran's point of view, then why has the word desire been portrayed in a negative light in multiple verses in the quran? In fact, the word desire has been portrayed in a negative light in several verses in the quran (1828, 2016, 2543, 2850, 4523, 7175-176).

If we desire, we can spend 15 hours a day watching TV shows, and/or playing video games and/or being on social media platforms. Doing these things 15 hours a day, isn't forbidden and impossible and neither has it anything to do with achieving something in an evil way. But if a man desires to spend 15 hours a day doing these things, is it an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view? Also, what about gluttony, is it an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view? No, absolutely not. It is evident that gluttony isn't an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view (6141 and 731). Therefore, having desire of any nature isn't absolutely fine from the quran's point of view.

I'm sure that you are aware that doing particular actions and choosing a particular course makes a man come closer to God (3437). Besides, the quran shows us that there are several paths that one can take. Furthermore, those paths aren't equal whatsoever (261, 314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). To put it in another way, some paths are more treasured and advantageous (beneficial) than others. To give an example, worldly goods aren't forbidden in the quran, aren't impossible to acquire and it's possible to aquire them in a good way. Regardless of this fact, the quran considers belief in God and doing good deeds far more important than acquiring worldly goods (314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). Humans need worldly goods such as food, clothing, tools, houses an so on in order to survive and grow (thrive). Also, the quran doesn't advocate poverty (2268, 928 and 1726-30). Nevertheless, the quran counsels us to put belief in God and doing good deeds far above the pursuit of acquiring worldly goods (314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). Therefore, it isn't an absolutely fine desire, to put the pursuit of acquiring worldly goods above belief in God and doing good deeds, from the quran's point of view. Thus, having desire of any nature isn't absolutely fine, from the quran's point of view.

Peace MP….

Your topic is conquer desire… Desire shouldn’t be conquered.. coz desire is part and parcel of life.. Excessive nature in anything is not desire … I want to eat Chocolate cake … I sense a desire.. so I go to a café and enjoy a piece or couple of pieces of them… desire accomplished… what if I eat again and again on the same day and continue everyday… it is not desire … it is madness and excess… Don’t complicate desire with excessive approach.. Excess always not good… and never recommended by God… They eat like cattle… what does it mean? One thing for sure is excess…
This is the definition of DESIRE “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”
So.. try to grasp within that…
Let me turn towards the point I raised having sex 10 times… I in fact meant having 10 times having sex in a complete day (24hrs)… having sex is a desire… satisfaction is key… even when a couple is on the bed together.. They may do few times.. and in the end they may end up doing several times.. But only having sex is not life… life is versatile… while keeping everything in balance and involving in sex until they satisfy is no harm.. it is not excess .. Excessiveness is when they forget the rest of the life and responsibility and remembrance of God etc and only doing one thing most of the time and leaving other matters aside…So excess in anything even in charity is bad.. Don’t give everything and be mad in the end without anything for you… If a person kill one and it is allowed only to kill one, no excess…
2567 And those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, moderate” 3147 Our Lord, forgive us our sins and the excess in our affairs and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people.”

So, Brother / Sister MP… what you have brought in this particular thread is totally not relevant to your topic and what I have explained saying (FORBIDDEN, IMPOSSIBLE and EVIL WAY)… coz EXCESS is non of the these but something which God doesn’t like and not recommend.. perhaps you get me what I say..
so the examples you brought, like watching TV 15 hours is definitely excess unless he or she not misses any other of his responsibility or remembrance of God... suppose if there is a Tennis match going extending up to 6 hours or a cricket match taking almost 8 hour people tend to watch.. it happens... but we can't leave any of our responsibility or remembrance of God but in between you may watch.. no harm.. it is not excess coz you have not discarded anything during the day and still watched TV.. Watching TV is just a stagnant activity .. so during watching you can do many things.. you can praise Lord etc etc.. I wonder who has time to watch TV everyday 15 hours without leaving the seat.. that's madness..
for example those who work going to office stay there for almost 8 hours and mostly doing only office work leaving all other personal works..it is not excess it is a commitment.. for that he or she is committed.. but those who have little free time like can involve in other works as well.. coz you get free time naturally in office... you can praise Lord.. you can do anything which is good other than office work.. but when the work is there do what you have to do.. it is not excess though chunk of your time is spent in office..

for your rhetorical question, i would respond when i am free in office..

[jkhan]

@ MP

It is both for recreation (fundamentally) and in the end it may end as procreation depends on personal choice and God’s Will …
I would like to leave animals aside in this topic… coz I have no idea for what purpose a male cat do have sex with a female cat and in the end male cat have no connection to both female cat and its kitten.. let’s talk about human here..
In sex definitely there is pleasure needless to elaborate.. even without sex being together … one would ask for what purpose a husband does kiss his wife.. it has pleasure.. if all these pleasures in the form of RECREATION not permitted if the purpose of couple is not meant for PROCREATION .. Coz of your concern so many questions will be raised..
1… When a couple involve intercourse they don’t know whether they will have a child in the end by their pleasure act.. it is in the hands of God…. Their act of sex won’t create, but God creates what He Wills. their act is mere pleasure.. but when she gets pregnant they are happy.. new feelings..
2…. When the couple meet doctor, Dr. may say it is perhaps impossible that you both can have a baby… so… what you recommend not to have sex.. or Keep on having.. perhaps after ages you may get a baby… so.. clear injustice.. these couple enjoy since they don’t have baby while those who have a baby cannot…
3… What about family planning… Do you think family planning is not recommended.. suppose a couple wants only one kid depending on their capacity.. so they have already one kid.. So every time they both be together in their chamber, you want them to control their feeling while sleeping together a man and woman on the same bed being husband and wife they want to be extra vigilant not to have sex.. that’s far from truth.. impossible for a long period..
4… So using contraceptive sheaths are not recommended since the purpose of condom is only birth control while indulge in pleasure …
5… leave the newly married aside.. if the purpose of sex is only for procreation, what about considerably old couples when their children are teens.. do they just live without even thinking about sex at all… This is unnecessary stress to life which God never ever restricted..
Etc etc. etc..
If Procreation is the only purpose of having sex, why God would naturally apply pleasure while having sex.. why the moment everyone is involved in sex is embodied with immense pleasure.. God could have created the sex of human being without pleasure just for procreation… This is a great gift from God to all his creatures.. God has given pleasure in everything..
You may wonder in the hereafter there may possibly be no children though God chooses couples .. they may live together forever in Janna but most probably without children but for sure intercourse may take place when we closely look at the verses…So it is recreation and not procreation in the hereafter.. Procreation is God’s Job.. We can’t create.. We enjoy and if we want children we look forward to it ..
I cannot agree with anyone if they say sex should be only for procreation.. never.. If it is only for Procreation I suggest to anyone just have sex only once in life time and wait perhaps God will you will have a child.. in case it didn’t happen after few months.. Try once more.. Until you find your wife pregnant.. No need to have sex everyday until she gets pregnant.. Recreation is manifest even those whose purpose of sex is only Procreation..
Simply don’t stress on things that God has not restricted… while God is so merciful and kind and He has given us ways of pleasure and enjoy it.. be thankful… so simple..

[jkhan]

There are many benefits of conquering desires. By way of illustration, a man who desires to buy and eat chocholate (with white refined sugar and GMO soy lecithin) every day, will benefit both economically and health wise by conquering his desire. To put it in another way, a man who buys and eats a chocholate daily due to his immense desire for this food product, will benefit both economically and health wise if he stops buying and eating chocholate every day. Also, some companies in the cocoa industry profit from slave labor. So if the man stops buying chocholate made with slave labor, then he stops supporting slave labor. If enough people stop buying chocholate made with slave labor, then those companies that use slave labor, will be forced to change their unethical ways in order to continue making profit. This will benefit those who work on cocoa farms immensely.

When it comes to desires, numerous people think there are physical, mental and spiritual benefits of practicising sexual abstincence/semen retention. Throughout history, a lot of great minds practiced some form of sexual abstinence/semen retention. The following thinkers practiced some form of of sexual abstinence/semen retention; Hippocrates, Galen, Pythagoras, Plato, Leonardo Da Vinci, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, Nikola Tesla, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Soren Kierkegaard, Friedrich Nietzsche, Michelangelo, Aristotle, Baruch Spinoza, Ludwig Van Beethoven, William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Herbert Spencer, Saigo Takamori, Henry David Thoreau, Mohandas Gandhi and Orville and Wilbur Wright. If you'd like to read some articles about the benefits of sexual abstinence/semen retention from the SR community, please check here and here.

If you'd like to read some books about the benefits of sexual abstinence/semen retention, then please check the books below.

I heartily recommend the following books

• The coiled serpent by C.J. Van Vliet
• Brain Gain by His Holiness Danavir Goswami
• Libido Dominandi by Michael Jones
• Practical methods to insure success by Hiram E. Butler
• Continence and its creative power by Swami Jagadiswarananda
• Science Discovers The Physiological Value Of Continence by Raymond W. Bernard

I think the articles and books above are interesting and educational and contain some useful/helpful information about the benefits of sexual abstinence and conquering desires such as lust. But I don't agree with everything that's mentioned in those articles and books. The articles and books above are archaic and a little extreme, in my opinion. But I still think it's worth reading them. However, I think its prudent/reasonable to read them with a grain of salt. Also, I'd never put the knowledge in those articles and books on a pedestal. As I have previously mentioned in this thread, I think the most profound information about how to conquer desires is in the quran.

The quran declares that the benefit of conquering desires is the attainment of paradise (7940-41).

I'd like to end this post with a few quotes on desires.

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." - Augustine of Hippo

"Ever fed, never satisfied. Never fed, ever satisfied." - Paramahansa Yogananda

Again MP you are repeating keeping the excess in your mind... God has clearly stated excess in anything is not good... Coz our body and mind is not created to adjust for excess.. try to grasp it in your own way.. There is no benefit in conquering DESIRE... yes, conquer the excess.. fine.. it should be done.. that's better in any angle.. but not desire..

by the way highlighted verse never speaks of desire.. it is inclination / tendency

7940-1 But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from inclination / tendency, Then indeed, Paradise will be refuge.

get the correct meaning of Hawa by this verse 4135 "So follow not (hawa)inclination, lest you not be just.... "

[The_Middle_Path]

Peace jkhan,

Your topic is conquer desire… Desire shouldn’t be conquered.. coz desire is part and parcel of life.. Excessive nature in anything is not desire … I want to eat Chocolate cake … I sense a desire.. so I go to a café and enjoy a piece or couple of pieces of them… desire accomplished… what if I eat again and again on the same day and continue everyday… it is not desire … it is madness and excess… Don’t complicate desire with excessive approach.. Excess always not good… and never recommended by God… They eat like cattle… what does it mean? One thing for sure is excess…
This is the definition of DESIRE “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”
So.. try to grasp within that…

Thank you for your reply.

In my studies of the Quran, I have found several verses which urge us to conquer desires (2543 and 7940-41). To put it in another way, there are several verses in the quran which urge us to keep desires. It seems that if desires are not kept in check, they can become excessive. Case in point Man A desires to eat chocholate. But he keeps his desires in check and only eats chocholate 1-2 times per week. Man B desires to eat chocholate. But he doesn't keep his desires in check and ends up eating chocholate 2-4 times every day. Both Man A and Man B desire to eat chocholate, but one of them keeps his desires in check, while the other one doesn't keep his desires in check. Thus, excessives desire are a reality. If you don't agree with regard to this, then let's agree to disagree.

By the way, please read the definition of the word "conquer" from Collins dictionary below.

conquer (ˈkɒŋkə )

verb

1. to overcome (an enemy, army, etc); defeat
2. to overcome (an obstacle, feeling, desire, etc); surmount
3. (transitive)
   to gain possession or control of by or as if by force or war; win
4. (transitive)
   to gain the love, sympathy, etc, of (someone) by seduction or force of personality

(Source https//www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/conquer)

[The_Middle_Path]

Again MP you are repeating keeping the excess in your mind... God has clearly stated excess in anything is not good... Coz our body and mind is not created to adjust for excess.. try to grasp it in your own way.. There is no benefit in conquering DESIRE... yes, conquer the excess.. fine.. it should be done.. that's better in any angle.. but not desire..

One either conquers desires (keeps them under control), or the desires can end up becoming excessive. It's as simple as that.

by the way highlighted verse never speaks of desire.. it is inclination / tendency

7940-1 But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from inclination / tendency, Then indeed, Paradise will be refuge.

get the correct meaning of Hawa by this verse 4135 "So follow not (hawa)inclination, lest you not be just.... "

But unto him who shall have stood in fear of his Sustainer's Presence, and held back his inner self from base desires, paradise will truly be the goal!
7940-41

The word/term (l-hawā) in verse 79.40, is derived from the root Ha-Waw-Ya. Based on my knowledge of the quran, the word/term l-hawā means vain/base desires, not inclination.

If you claim that the word/term (l-hawā) in verse 7940 means inclination rather than base/vain desires, then please prove it.

[The_Middle_Path]

Peace fellow members,

If you'd like to read more books about the benefits of sexual abstinence/restraint, then please check the books below.

I heartily recommend these books

• Sexual Force or the Winged Dragon by Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov
• Self-Restraint vs Self-Indulgence by Mahatma Gandhi
• Climbing mount purgatorio by Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
• Sex and culture by J.D. Unwin

By the way, I'd like to share some information about the book "Sex and culture by J.D. Unwin" here. I don't agree with everything in the book. Nevertheless, I still think it's worth reading it. Because it contains some crucial historical information.

In Sex and Culture Unwin studied 80 primitive tribes and 6 known civilizations through 5,000 years of history and found a positive correlation between the cultural achievement of a people and the amount of sexual restraint which they observed. The author finds that the most culturally successful groups always exhibit lifelong monogamous relationships which include sexual abstinence outside of marriage. According to Unwin, after a nation becomes prosperous it becomes increasingly liberal with regard to sexual morality and as a result loses its cohesion, its impetus and its purpose, ultimately having a negative effect on society "The whole of human history does not contain a single instance of a group becoming civilized unless it has been absolutely monogamous, nor is there any example of a group retaining its culture after it has adopted less rigorous customs."

(Source http//www.artandpopularculture.com/J._D._Unwin)

[jkhan]

Peace jkhan,

Thank you for your reply.

In my studies of the Quran, I have found several verses which urge us to conquer desires (2543 and 7940-41). To put it in another way, there are several verses in the quran which urge us to keep desires. It seems that if desires are not kept in check, they can become excessive. Case in point Man A desires to eat chocholate. But he keeps his desires in check and only eats chocholate 1-2 times per week. Man B desires to eat chocholate. But he doesn't keep his desires in check and ends up eating chocholate 2-4 times every day. Both Man A and Man B desire to eat chocholate, but one of them keeps his desires in check, while the other one doesn't keep his desires in check. Thus, excessives desire are a reality. If you don't agree with regard to this, then let's agree to disagree.

By the way, please read the definition of the word "conquer" from Collins dictionary below.

conquer (ˈkɒŋkə )

verb

1. to overcome (an enemy, army, etc); defeat
2. to overcome (an obstacle, feeling, desire, etc); surmount
3. (transitive)
   to gain possession or control of by or as if by force or war; win
4. (transitive)
   to gain the love, sympathy, etc, of (someone) by seduction or force of personality

(Source https//www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/conquer)

absolute repetition my dear... can't help unless you look at it how it deserve..

[jkhan]

One either conquers desires (keeps them under control), or the desires can end up becoming excessive. It's as simple as that.

That's what is called excess.. so the fault is not in desire but in excess... try to grasp pls... whatever

okay let me put it this way .. River is river as long it stays with its limit... it means be a river.. but when it goes beyond river bank then it is not a river, it is flood... so being a river is absolutely fine.. (DESIRE).... but breaking the edges / river bank and overflow won't help.. EXCESS / TRANSGRESS

But unto him who shall have stood in fear of his Sustainer's Presence, and held back his inner self from base desires, paradise will truly be the goal!
7940-41

The word/term (l-hawā) in verse 79.40, is derived from the root Ha-Waw-Ya. Based on my knowledge of the quran, the word/term l-hawā means vain/base desires, not inclination.

If you claim that the word/term (l-hawā) in verse 7940 means inclination rather than base/vain desires, then please prove it.

Well ... i am patient with you, so i keep replying though i have replied in clarity..
okay let me clarify further...

7937-41
So as for he who transgressed (Thagha)
And preferred(Athara) the life of the world,
Then indeed, Hellfire will be refuge
But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from inclination (Hawa),
Then indeed, Paradise will be refuge

read above verses which you have concern...note the word Thagha/Transgress.. then after transgress only one prefers the life of this world... preferring the life of this is no harm.. love what you do .. love what you live.. that's natural.. but don't transgress.. what transgress here? everything in life of this world.. Choosing Evil Path, Choosing Forbidden, Choosing Impossible etc etc.. and in the end relevant to this thread Choosing Excess...

Don't you like the life of this world? Of course i do but not the expense of the life hereafter.. How would you lose or end up in Hell fire? by transgressing and fall trap to life of this world in love...
So manifest..

Opposite to this, who is successful? the one who fears the stand / position of God and prevent the soul from inclination ... inclination to what? inclination to what others transgressed and failed..

meaning / definition of INCLINATION "a person's natural tendency or urge to act or feel in a particular way; a disposition or propensity."

so MP... desire is just part of Inclination... so Hawa / Inclination and Yurid / (Wish/desire/intend)..
in some verses hawa may look to mean desire but if you look at it deeply it is inclination that propel them to desire...

DESIRE Meaning "a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen."

huge difference between INCLINATOIN and DESIRE...
handshake

[The_Middle_Path]

Let me add two words that I forgot to add in one of the sentences in one of my previous posts in this thread. I will highlight the two words in bold in my previous post.

In my studies of the Quran, I have found several verses which urge us to conquer desires (2543 and 7940-41). To put it in another way, there are several verses in the quran which urge us to keep desires in check. It seems that if desires are not kept in check, they can become excessive. Case in point Man A desires to eat chocholate. But he keeps his desires in check and only eats chocholate 1-2 times per week. Man B desires to eat chocholate. But he doesn't keep his desires in check and ends up eating chocholate 2-4 times every day. Both Man A and Man B desire to eat chocholate, but one of them keeps his desires in check, while the other one doesn't keep his desires in check. Thus, excessives desire are a reality. If you don't agree with regard to this, then let's agree to disagree.

[The_Middle_Path]

Peace jkhan,

Thank you for your replies.

In my view, you haven't been able to prove that the word/term (l-hawā) in verse 7940 means inclination rather than base/vain desires.

Anyhow, I'm not going to get into a further semantic dispute about what the word/term hawa means. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for your meaningful and helpful/useful posts. I appreciate them.

[The_Middle_Path]

Peace fellow members,

There is a quote from a book that I want to share with you all. The book is called "Above life's Turmoil."

"As a man purifies his heart, temptation ceases, for when a certain unlawful desire has been taken out of the heart, the object which formerly appealed to it can no longer do so, but becomes dead and powerless, for there is nothing left in the heart that can respond to it. The honest man cannot be tempted to steal, let the occasion be ever so opportune; the man of purified appetites cannot be tempted to gluttony and drunkenness, though the viands and wines be the most luscious; he of an enlightened understanding, whose mind is calm in the strength of inward virtue, can never be tempted to anger, irritability or revenge, and the wiles and charms of the wanton fall upon the purified heart as empty meaningless shadows."

• James Allen

[The_Middle_Path]

Peace fellow members,

In this post, I'd like to share some verses from the quran about the keys to purity and self-control.

The keys to purity and self-control in the quran

• Muslim men who are devoted/faithful (sincere) servants of the creator won't succumb to desires such as lust (namely they have complete self-control). The devil has no authority/power over the devoted/faithful (sincere) servants of the creator. Thus, they won't succumb to lust and read/watch sexual materials such as erotic/pornographic videos, photographs, writings or the like. Additionally, they won't succumb to lust and masturbate. Further, they won't succumb to lust and have premarital sex, extramarital sex and/or extramarital physical/romantic relationships. (1223-24 and 153642).
• Muslim men are told to not commit shameful/immoral deeds, whether those deeds are plain/open/public or subtle/secret/private. (6151).
• Muslim men can prevent immoral/shameful deeds through the practice of Salat (adhering to and reading/studying the quran). (2945).
• Muslim men are told to not show their private parts to others with the exception of their wives and those who are maintained by their oaths. (235-6 and 7029-30).
• Muslim men are told to not look at nude women and pictures/videos of nude women, with the exception of their wives and those who are maintained by their oaths. Additionally, they are told to not look at women in a flirty or sexual way, with the exception of their wives. (235-6, 2430-31, 3335 and 7029-30).
• Muslim men are told to eat and drink moderatly. Thus, overeating, binge eating, gluttony (the over-indulgence or over-consumption of food and drink) are not in line with the quran. (6141 and 731).
• Muslim men who are unmarried are counselled to live in continence (practice sexual abstinence) until they have been granted sufficiency out of the creator's bounty. In other words, they are counselled to not have sex until they are married. (2433)
• Muslim men who are unmarried are counselled to not meet women they like secretly, unless they have something righteous to say to them. In other words, they are counselled to only meet women they like (as more than friends) secretly, if they have something righteous to say to them (namely to have righteous conversations). Thus, they are counselled to not secretely meet women they like (as more than friends) in order to engage in physical intimacy (holding hands, cuddling, kissing and so on). (2235).

[hawk99]

Peace The Middle Path, for me the thread would have clarity if you distinguished negative desires from positive desires.

For example The Ultimate Guide to Conquer (negative) Desires then I would immediately grasp the direction of the thread, but to link both positve and negative
together entails some mental gymnastics to easily comprehend. Just my two cents.

God bless you
peace

[jkhan]

Peace jkhan,

Thank you for your replies.

In my view, you haven't been able to prove that the word/term (l-hawā) in verse 7940 means inclination rather than base/vain desires.

Anyhow, I'm not going to get into a further semantic dispute about what the word/term hawa means. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for your meaningful and helpful/useful posts. I appreciate them.

Peace...

I am not here to prove you or anyone else.. Coz there is no judge in this forum for me to prove...
Readers have knowledge and they have their inclination and let their inclination be with Quran..

Of course thank you for having a conversation and debate... Stick with Quran.. that's all what i have to say to you.. Hope you are doing that part...
May God guide us..

[ade_cool]

Salam all,

One verse that is related to the topic under discussion

"And I do not make myself free of blame, for the self is inclined to sin, except that which my Lord has mercy upon. My Lord is Forgiving, Merciful."

For those who are no longer inclined to sin, good news as that is a sign that God has mercy upon you! sun

Wassalam