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  4. sex before marriage

sex before marriage

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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    Jaxal
    wrote on last edited by
    #154

    SaLaM PM

    It dont have to be thread. The emotional drama can also do the trick. My mom wanted me to get married to this girl she choose for me. It was an arranged marriage. I was against that from the start. At first, the emotional black mail really got to me. And it was getting to me so bad that i NEARLY gave in. But i didnt. Not everyone does that. Sometimes, the emotional offensive works just as well has threats and what not.

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      unknownuser
      wrote on last edited by
      #155

      Hi Jaxal,
      Yeah, I know what u mean.
      Here are some Emotional blackmails
      'Why are we alive to see this day, to see our children disobeying us?,
      Is this how u repay us after all that we have done for u?
      do u only care about urself? how can u be so selfish?
      Is this how we get repaid for all those sacrifices we have made for u?

      And the more u revolt, there comes the 'heart attacks', collapses etc which will make u much more guilty.

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        unknownuser
        wrote on last edited by
        #156

        Jaxal,
        So, u escaped?
        Good for u!

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        • J Offline
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          Jaxal
          wrote on last edited by
          #157

          SaLaM PM

          Here are some Emotional blackmails
          'Why are we alive to see this day, to see our children disobeying us?,
          Is this how u repay us after all that we have done for u?
          do u only care about urself? how can u be so selfish?
          Is this how we get repaid for all those sacrifices we have made for u?

          BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl BAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

          There is sooo much more i can addd hahahahahhhhhahhaha

          And yes i did got out of it. I have not made many good decisions or choices in my life. So i guess this was important to me. No way im ruining the life of some innocent girl.

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          • S Offline
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            stillearning
            wrote on last edited by
            #158

            salaam

            So, u escaped?
            Good for u!

            Good or bad we will never know. Only speculate>
            regards

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            • J Offline
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              Jaxal
              wrote on last edited by
              #159

              SaLaM stillearning

              Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

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                stillearning
                wrote on last edited by
                #160

                salaam jaxal

                Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

                I dont suppose we can get her to varify you statement. wink

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                  unknownuser
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #161

                  Well, the chances that one ends up with a partner they fall in love, is less than 5% in an arranged marriage.
                  The odds are only as good as the first person u meet on the street today.
                  so, I guess, its always better to get out of it if one can, but the sad reality is not all can. Its a strange complex muddle.

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                    Jaxal
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #162

                    SaLaM stillearning

                    salaam jaxal

                    Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

                    I dont suppose we can get her to varify you statement. wink

                    Loooooll why would you wish that on some poor girl loooooll

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                    • S Offline
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                      stillearning
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #163

                      salamm

                      Loooooll

                      Is this a southern expression. Not in any northern dictionary!
                      regards

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                      • U Offline
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                        unknownuser
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #164

                        Aalaikum salaam

                        Lol= laughigh out loudly wink

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                          phoenix1
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #165

                          Salam.
                          Ok. dating's fine with me. But what i wanted to say was, that if dating goes to o far, then marriage becomes pointless. If you're going to live together, have sex, have children, then it doesnt make any difference whether your married or not. And the reason that's bad is because being married gives people a sense of committment (if your already married, might as well work on it), but if you're just "dating," then you dont have that committment, and you dont care that much about splitting up. That's what I wanted to say. And that is only my opinion based on my 16 year experience with life.

                          But i do agree with you, getting to know someone you're gonna marry is much better than having an arranged marriage. But, then again, if you feel that the "arranged" person is right for you, and you know him/her well, then i dont think an "arranged" marriage is such a bad idea.

                          And Jaxal, i think i'm gonna go through the same thing in a few years. wink

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                            unknownuser
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #166

                            Peace to all

                            sorry I only read the first 4 pages and here is my notes

                            1. In the Islamic marriage, simply the husband has to pay 2 things

                            commonly known as

                            "Shabkah"

                            "Mahr"

                            the Shabkah is a gift to the bride

                            The Mahr is given to the bride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                            so it is not a fee to sleep with the woman, there is no such thing that inclination as such

                            as far as I know Zani and Zania, covers married and unmarried humans

                            the forgivness promised in the verse posted by Taj, is for the prostitutes who were forced into prostitution

                            the logic that desperation makes prostitution ok, is funny and will not stand any sense as exctracted from the Quran, I will try to find a few verses later, in fact based on that flawed logic, murder due to desperation should be OK, or any crime due to desperation should be ok

                            prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                            prostitution also destroys families including children

                            a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                            peace to all

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                              sayeeth
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #167

                              Peace be upon you AhmedBahgat,

                              Peace to all
                              the Shabakah is a gift to the pride

                              The Mahr is given to the pride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                              Just a minor correction done for you. It's bride. Gift to the pride and pride family just sounded wrong. Apologies for nit-picking. Communication is a powerful tool. We don't want people who are linguistically declined in English to get the wrong idea.

                              prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                              prostitution also destroys families including children

                              a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                              peace to all

                              If prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race, then why is it theoretically one of the oldest known professions? The human race sure seems well protected with prostitution in its place. As far as I know, even safe sex is encouraged at brothels. Prostitutes are even sent for checkups, courtesy of their pimps. Sort of like, they want to keep their goods in good condition until wear and tear occurs. So theoretically again, prosititution is "safer", well at least here in Singapore. As much as we may want to protect the human race from such adversities, we cannot stop them from going on. The more we protect, the more another will overcome the protection. The more we forbid it, the more the sexually deprave human will want it. That is what actually will keep going. On our end, just educate the people we know about such things and hope they don't go get jiggy with those prostitutes. If they choose to, then too bad. Just safeguard ourselves. I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to share your views. Cheers.

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                                unknownuser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #168

                                Peace to all

                                Here is a verse from the Quran that will prove beyond doubt that Zani or Zania also covers the single people

                                ?Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.?

                                (3)

                                -> Can you figure it out from the above?, let me explain, it is really simple

                                -> Allah is telling us that the Zani DOES NOT MARRY BUT A ZANIA LIKE HIM OR A MUSHRIKA and the Zania DOES NOT MARRY BUT A ZANI LIKE HER OR A MUSHRIK

                                I.E. the Quran described single humans as being Zani or Zania

                                I reckon the above verse should refute that argument for good

                                Peace to all

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                                • S Offline
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                                  sayeeth
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #169

                                  Salaam Sayeeth,

                                  You have a very wise and sound way of expalining things )

                                  Peace be upon you Sister Majidah,

                                  I am still very young and far from being wise and sound. However, thank you for your encouraging words. Cheers.

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                                  • U Offline
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                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #170

                                    Peace be upon you AhmedBahgat,

                                    Peace to all
                                    the Shabakah is a gift to the pride

                                    The Mahr is given to the pride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                                    Just a minor correction done for you. It's bride. Gift to the pride and pride family just sounded wrong. Apologies for nit-picking. Communication is a powerful tool. We don't want people who are linguistically declined in English to get the wrong idea.

                                    thank you bro, no apologies required, I actually suffer from a spelling disorder big times, I lived a couple of years in the states before I moved to australia 15 years ago, hence I have 17 years experience talking english, but typing was far less lol

                                    prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                                    prostitution also destroys families including children

                                    a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                                    peace to all

                                    If prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race, then why is it theoretically one of the oldest known professions?

                                    I believe for two main reasons

                                    1. Sex is one of the biggest Fitna "Test" Allah has forced unto us
                                    2. Humans don't abide by Allah's laws

                                    The human race sure seems well protected with prostitution in its place.

                                    I don't mean extinction rather living this life while suffering from a huge list of STDs, sure the human race has weaken, I'm sure they used to live longer in the past

                                    As far as I know, even safe sex is encouraged at brothels. Prostitutes are even sent for checkups, courtesy of their pimps.

                                    sure, Satan is doing a great job, he makes prostitution look great for many humans, have you ever watched Jerry Springer

                                    Jerry, Jerry, Jerry lol

                                    Sort of like, they want to keep their goods in good condition until wear and tear occurs. So theoretically again, prosititution is "safer", well at least here in Singapore.

                                    well, then I will just take it as an order from my God and I have to abide by it, like the pig meat, you know it tastes good and seems no harm in it but Allah has prohibited it so I have to abide by it, you see this life is nothing but a TEST

                                    As much as we may want to protect the human race from such adversities, we cannot stop them from going on. The more we protect, the more another will overcome the protection. The more we forbid it, the more the sexually deprave human will want it. That is what actually will keep going. On our end, just educate the people we know about such things and hope they don't go get jiggy with those prostitutes. If they choose to, then too bad. Just safeguard ourselves. I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to share your views. Cheers.

                                    true, but the point is we are living a test, and this is a very serious context, especially if the Examiner is a very powerful entity that most of us if not all can not comprehend Its Might

                                    Peace bro and please feel free to fix my spelling lol

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                                      Elke
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #171

                                      Salam all,

                                      peacefulmuslim, where did you get your percentages from ? lol

                                      They sound right though...

                                      LK

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                                      • U Offline
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                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #172

                                        Hello,

                                        My marriage was arranged, after 10 days of seeing each other for the first time me and my wife fully married, now we live together for 15 years, we have a beautiful 14 years old girl (Sara) and 18 months old boy (Noor El Deen) and we love each other to death, I really prefer arranged marriage, but i have to say success rate is not that high, we were just lucky that we are compatible

                                        peace

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                                          Elke
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #173

                                          Peace Ahmed,

                                          You really prefer arranged marriages ? You recognize yourself that you were lucky!

                                          I think though that there might be one positive point to arranged (not forced) marriages Romantic expectations don't run to high and as such wont be shattered...

                                          LK

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