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  4. sex before marriage

sex before marriage

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  • U Offline
    U Offline
    unknownuser
    wrote on last edited by
    #155

    Hi Jaxal,
    Yeah, I know what u mean.
    Here are some Emotional blackmails
    'Why are we alive to see this day, to see our children disobeying us?,
    Is this how u repay us after all that we have done for u?
    do u only care about urself? how can u be so selfish?
    Is this how we get repaid for all those sacrifices we have made for u?

    And the more u revolt, there comes the 'heart attacks', collapses etc which will make u much more guilty.

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      unknownuser
      wrote on last edited by
      #156

      Jaxal,
      So, u escaped?
      Good for u!

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        Jaxal
        wrote on last edited by
        #157

        SaLaM PM

        Here are some Emotional blackmails
        'Why are we alive to see this day, to see our children disobeying us?,
        Is this how u repay us after all that we have done for u?
        do u only care about urself? how can u be so selfish?
        Is this how we get repaid for all those sacrifices we have made for u?

        BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl BAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

        There is sooo much more i can addd hahahahahhhhhahhaha

        And yes i did got out of it. I have not made many good decisions or choices in my life. So i guess this was important to me. No way im ruining the life of some innocent girl.

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          stillearning
          wrote on last edited by
          #158

          salaam

          So, u escaped?
          Good for u!

          Good or bad we will never know. Only speculate>
          regards

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            Jaxal
            wrote on last edited by
            #159

            SaLaM stillearning

            Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

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              stillearning
              wrote on last edited by
              #160

              salaam jaxal

              Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

              I dont suppose we can get her to varify you statement. wink

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                unknownuser
                wrote on last edited by
                #161

                Well, the chances that one ends up with a partner they fall in love, is less than 5% in an arranged marriage.
                The odds are only as good as the first person u meet on the street today.
                so, I guess, its always better to get out of it if one can, but the sad reality is not all can. Its a strange complex muddle.

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                  Jaxal
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #162

                  SaLaM stillearning

                  salaam jaxal

                  Well.. knowing myself, i can definately say that its good for the girl that she didnt marry me.

                  I dont suppose we can get her to varify you statement. wink

                  Loooooll why would you wish that on some poor girl loooooll

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                    stillearning
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #163

                    salamm

                    Loooooll

                    Is this a southern expression. Not in any northern dictionary!
                    regards

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                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #164

                      Aalaikum salaam

                      Lol= laughigh out loudly wink

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                        phoenix1
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #165

                        Salam.
                        Ok. dating's fine with me. But what i wanted to say was, that if dating goes to o far, then marriage becomes pointless. If you're going to live together, have sex, have children, then it doesnt make any difference whether your married or not. And the reason that's bad is because being married gives people a sense of committment (if your already married, might as well work on it), but if you're just "dating," then you dont have that committment, and you dont care that much about splitting up. That's what I wanted to say. And that is only my opinion based on my 16 year experience with life.

                        But i do agree with you, getting to know someone you're gonna marry is much better than having an arranged marriage. But, then again, if you feel that the "arranged" person is right for you, and you know him/her well, then i dont think an "arranged" marriage is such a bad idea.

                        And Jaxal, i think i'm gonna go through the same thing in a few years. wink

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                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #166

                          Peace to all

                          sorry I only read the first 4 pages and here is my notes

                          1. In the Islamic marriage, simply the husband has to pay 2 things

                          commonly known as

                          "Shabkah"

                          "Mahr"

                          the Shabkah is a gift to the bride

                          The Mahr is given to the bride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                          so it is not a fee to sleep with the woman, there is no such thing that inclination as such

                          as far as I know Zani and Zania, covers married and unmarried humans

                          the forgivness promised in the verse posted by Taj, is for the prostitutes who were forced into prostitution

                          the logic that desperation makes prostitution ok, is funny and will not stand any sense as exctracted from the Quran, I will try to find a few verses later, in fact based on that flawed logic, murder due to desperation should be OK, or any crime due to desperation should be ok

                          prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                          prostitution also destroys families including children

                          a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                          peace to all

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                            sayeeth
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #167

                            Peace be upon you AhmedBahgat,

                            Peace to all
                            the Shabakah is a gift to the pride

                            The Mahr is given to the pride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                            Just a minor correction done for you. It's bride. Gift to the pride and pride family just sounded wrong. Apologies for nit-picking. Communication is a powerful tool. We don't want people who are linguistically declined in English to get the wrong idea.

                            prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                            prostitution also destroys families including children

                            a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                            peace to all

                            If prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race, then why is it theoretically one of the oldest known professions? The human race sure seems well protected with prostitution in its place. As far as I know, even safe sex is encouraged at brothels. Prostitutes are even sent for checkups, courtesy of their pimps. Sort of like, they want to keep their goods in good condition until wear and tear occurs. So theoretically again, prosititution is "safer", well at least here in Singapore. As much as we may want to protect the human race from such adversities, we cannot stop them from going on. The more we protect, the more another will overcome the protection. The more we forbid it, the more the sexually deprave human will want it. That is what actually will keep going. On our end, just educate the people we know about such things and hope they don't go get jiggy with those prostitutes. If they choose to, then too bad. Just safeguard ourselves. I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to share your views. Cheers.

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                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #168

                              Peace to all

                              Here is a verse from the Quran that will prove beyond doubt that Zani or Zania also covers the single people

                              ?Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.?

                              (3)

                              -> Can you figure it out from the above?, let me explain, it is really simple

                              -> Allah is telling us that the Zani DOES NOT MARRY BUT A ZANIA LIKE HIM OR A MUSHRIKA and the Zania DOES NOT MARRY BUT A ZANI LIKE HER OR A MUSHRIK

                              I.E. the Quran described single humans as being Zani or Zania

                              I reckon the above verse should refute that argument for good

                              Peace to all

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                                sayeeth
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #169

                                Salaam Sayeeth,

                                You have a very wise and sound way of expalining things )

                                Peace be upon you Sister Majidah,

                                I am still very young and far from being wise and sound. However, thank you for your encouraging words. Cheers.

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                                • U Offline
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                                  unknownuser
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #170

                                  Peace be upon you AhmedBahgat,

                                  Peace to all
                                  the Shabakah is a gift to the pride

                                  The Mahr is given to the pride family to help in building the new house for the two, i.e. the Mahr paid by the Husband is just a share in the cost of building the house "furniture etc, etc", the family of the woman MUST also pay their share to prepare the house, it works roughly like 50%, 50%, but whoeever have money should pay more for sure

                                  Just a minor correction done for you. It's bride. Gift to the pride and pride family just sounded wrong. Apologies for nit-picking. Communication is a powerful tool. We don't want people who are linguistically declined in English to get the wrong idea.

                                  thank you bro, no apologies required, I actually suffer from a spelling disorder big times, I lived a couple of years in the states before I moved to australia 15 years ago, hence I have 17 years experience talking english, but typing was far less lol

                                  prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race at least, the prostitute can transfer diseases to many men on one day or one of the customers transfer it to the prostitute then the prostitute transfer it to many men and it will keep going

                                  prostitution also destroys families including children

                                  a male or a female prostitute are definitly bound to hell unless they repent

                                  peace to all

                                  If prostitution is forbidden "logically" to protect the human race, then why is it theoretically one of the oldest known professions?

                                  I believe for two main reasons

                                  1. Sex is one of the biggest Fitna "Test" Allah has forced unto us
                                  2. Humans don't abide by Allah's laws

                                  The human race sure seems well protected with prostitution in its place.

                                  I don't mean extinction rather living this life while suffering from a huge list of STDs, sure the human race has weaken, I'm sure they used to live longer in the past

                                  As far as I know, even safe sex is encouraged at brothels. Prostitutes are even sent for checkups, courtesy of their pimps.

                                  sure, Satan is doing a great job, he makes prostitution look great for many humans, have you ever watched Jerry Springer

                                  Jerry, Jerry, Jerry lol

                                  Sort of like, they want to keep their goods in good condition until wear and tear occurs. So theoretically again, prosititution is "safer", well at least here in Singapore.

                                  well, then I will just take it as an order from my God and I have to abide by it, like the pig meat, you know it tastes good and seems no harm in it but Allah has prohibited it so I have to abide by it, you see this life is nothing but a TEST

                                  As much as we may want to protect the human race from such adversities, we cannot stop them from going on. The more we protect, the more another will overcome the protection. The more we forbid it, the more the sexually deprave human will want it. That is what actually will keep going. On our end, just educate the people we know about such things and hope they don't go get jiggy with those prostitutes. If they choose to, then too bad. Just safeguard ourselves. I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to share your views. Cheers.

                                  true, but the point is we are living a test, and this is a very serious context, especially if the Examiner is a very powerful entity that most of us if not all can not comprehend Its Might

                                  Peace bro and please feel free to fix my spelling lol

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                                    Elke
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #171

                                    Salam all,

                                    peacefulmuslim, where did you get your percentages from ? lol

                                    They sound right though...

                                    LK

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                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #172

                                      Hello,

                                      My marriage was arranged, after 10 days of seeing each other for the first time me and my wife fully married, now we live together for 15 years, we have a beautiful 14 years old girl (Sara) and 18 months old boy (Noor El Deen) and we love each other to death, I really prefer arranged marriage, but i have to say success rate is not that high, we were just lucky that we are compatible

                                      peace

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                                        Elke
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #173

                                        Peace Ahmed,

                                        You really prefer arranged marriages ? You recognize yourself that you were lucky!

                                        I think though that there might be one positive point to arranged (not forced) marriages Romantic expectations don't run to high and as such wont be shattered...

                                        LK

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                                        • U Offline
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                                          unknownuser
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #174

                                          Peace Ahmed,

                                          Peace Elke

                                          You really prefer arranged marriages ?

                                          Possibly I?m influenced with my own successful experience

                                          You recognize yourself that you were lucky!

                                          I honestly don?t believe in luck, I just said it in a common way, the general rule for matching the couples were mentioned in the Quran

                                          ?Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.?

                                          (26)

                                          -> The above verse was sort of assurance to me that if I?m good then most likely my wife will be a good person, if I?m bad then I would expect my wife to be a bad person, but for every rule there is exceptions for sure

                                          I think though that there might be one positive point to arranged (not forced) marriages Romantic expectations don't run to high and as such wont be shattered...

                                          There was no forcing whatsoever in my case, it was my choice and hers

                                          Peace

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