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  4. Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

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  • N Offline
    N Offline
    NoProgressive
    wrote on last edited by
    #197

    As Salaam ALiakum Sweden,

    Peace,

    Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

    Why live like on the time of the prophet?

    We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

    Peace Sis Majidah

    Why ar you trying to tell women how to dress? What is "old" is telling women how to dress and making them dress the way you deem acceptable. What is "foward" is allowing them to dress how they please.

    salaam

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    • T Offline
      T Offline
      Tahira
      wrote on last edited by
      #198

      Salam NoProgressive

      Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.

      Regarding your comment on hijab. I thought we (women)had a choice in this matter.
      I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
      Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.

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      • N Offline
        N Offline
        NoProgressive
        wrote on last edited by
        #199

        As Salaam Aliakum Tahira,

        Salam NoProgressive

        Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.

        Sorry to read that happened to you, but that's great htat your husband turned out to be a just man.

        I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
        Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.

        Lol. No gurl! I'm saying the exact opposite.

        the "them" in that sentence is referring to women.

        "how they please" is a phrase that is about people choosing whatever they like.

        salaam

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        • T Offline
          T Offline
          Tahira
          wrote on last edited by
          #200

          Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive

          Thanks for correcting me luv.

          Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.
          Why does the word arranged always get connected to the word forced?
          We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
          So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.

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          • S Offline
            S Offline
            stillearning
            wrote on last edited by
            #201

            salaam all

            You guys are so lucky you're not living in pakiford. OOPS i meant bradford. It is like the Big Apple for immigration up here.

            Perfect comments for any racist website.

            Any hard evidence to back up what seems to be the overwhelming view on this forum that those from the Indian subcontinent are predominantly living in loveless and miserable marriages!
            regards

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            • T Offline
              T Offline
              Tahira
              wrote on last edited by
              #202

              Salam StillLearning

              Do you think muslims everywhere are living perfect happy lives. Racists don't need our website to be racist thats who they already are.

              Have you lived in Bradford 3? Do you know what people are like there?
              I lived there 11 years and the people living there made my life a living hell. These people weren't Racists they were muslims. The majority of Bradford 3 are muslims. The area i was living in had about 7 streets. All muslims except for 3 households. They all new each other(they were from the same parts of Afghanistan) and some were related.
              They started picking on us because i don't wear hijab.They harassed us on a daily basis (please let me know if you want details of what they did to us, You know HARD EVIDENCE). We had to move out of our home in August this year because they threatened to set our house on fire.

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              • N Offline
                N Offline
                NoProgressive
                wrote on last edited by
                #203

                As Salaam Alaikum Tahira,

                Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive

                Thanks for correcting me luv.

                Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.

                Because of stereotypes. Poeple in different societies, often look at other societies as savages and uncivilized people. Though abuse is prevelant in thier own neighborhoods and cities, they make comments as if domestic abuse never happens where they are from.

                We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
                So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.

                I agree totally. Becuase like I said, you have to understand the culture. And while there are many people inside of that culture that dread the day when thier parents start talking about a potential spouse, many poeple do look foward to it and welcome it.

                Like I said about my friend, he's Indian. Born and Bred in America... but whenever he is asked about maybe having an arrange marriage he never ever rules it out. (by the way he is not Muslim, therefore does not have some type of "traditionalist" thinking lol).

                salaam

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                • T Offline
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                  Tahira
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #204

                  salam NoProgressive

                  I would also like to add that arranged marriages and forced arranged marriages also happen in other cultures and religions too.So its not just a muslim thing. The difference is that they don't have the Quran to tell them that forced arranged marriage is wrong and we do yet we continue this practice.

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                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Jaxal
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #205

                    SaLaM

                    I think its becoz a cultural thing. Especially for 'muslims' in 'muslim' countries. I think it has to do more with culture than religion.

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                    • U Offline
                      U Offline
                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #206

                      SaLaM

                      I think its becoz a cultural thing. Especially for 'muslims' in 'muslim' countries. I think it has to do more with culture than religion.

                      Whats religious about it? its purely cultural.

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                      • J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Jaxal
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #207

                        SaLaM PM

                        are you asking me or telling me?

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                        • U Offline
                          U Offline
                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #208

                          SaLaM PM

                          are you asking me or telling me?

                          ) Jaxal, I just opined on it.
                          the practice is not to do with religion. its more of tradition and culture. so, muslims and non muslims alike practice it, in countries.

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                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            Jaxal
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #209

                            SaLam PM

                            loooolll and i agree with you! D

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                            • T Offline
                              T Offline
                              Tahira
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #210

                              So everyone here agrees that it is a cultural thing. How do we explain this to our parents(Not that i need to now).

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                              • J Offline
                                J Offline
                                Jaxal
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #211

                                SaLaM Tahira

                                Since when do parents listen to their children? D

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