Relationships
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peace
khalil can you elaborate how one gets close to God with sex?
Sure. In sex you have the oppurtunity to express/give to another care, love, nurturing, comfort, joy, passion, acceptance, understanding, warmth, tenderness, affection and an allowance and embrace of who that person is for whom they are.
How you interact with God is by interacting with Gods creation, which includes yourself and all that surrounds you, see, God is unseen but aspects of God are revealed in that which is seen. By pouring love onto Gods creation you have then reached out and touched God, and so that is how you may move closer to God through sex.
peace,
Khalil -
I think maybe that one brother of ours is some kind of saint who has incredibly strong self-control which enables him to constantly think about God while having sex with his girlfriend.
lol. I dont have a girlfriend, I have school and work! If I had a girlfriend I most certainly would not be online! P Maybe next year I'll find a girlfriend, right now I am practically isolated.
Could you clarify what you mean by thinking of God when you have sex? Do you mean mentally, or feeling a warmth in your heart??
peace,
Khalil -
Peace Sarah,
I quoted the article by brother Ayman and I think he has it slightly wrong. 2235 is in the context of widows and talks about not consummating the marriage until the required interim only in case of widows and not for general marriage.
2234 And for those of you whose lives are terminated and they leave widows behind, then their widows will have a required interim period of four months and ten days. So when they reach their required interim, then there is no sin upon you for what they do to themselves equitably. And God is Expert to what you do.
2235 And there is no sin upon you if you openly propose marriage to these women, or you keep it between yourselves. God knows that you will be thinking of them, but do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to say. And do not consummate the marriage until the required interim is reached in the Scripture. And know that God knows what is in your souls, so be aware of Him, and know that God is Forgiving, Compassionate.
For example if a woman has become recently widowed, then I think one can marry (nakah) her immediately, but one cannot consummate the marriage until four months and 10 days after the death of her previous husband, to ensure she is not pregnant by her previous husband. Only in the case of widows should a date be set for the consummation of marriage prior to getting married.
As per 3349, 2236, and 2237, it seems that one can get married and not consummate the marriage immediately and it is left up to the married couple to decide between themselves when to consummate the marriage.
For everyone's info, I found a verse which I think implies that 2 witnesses are required for marriage or divorce
652 Then, once the interim is fulfilled, either you remain together equitably, or part ways equitably and have it witnessed by two just people from among you; and give the testimony for God. This is to enlighten those who believe in God and the Last Day. And whosoever reverences God, He will create a solution for him.
Tanveer
your understanding of the wordings/issue, is beautiful. bravo
peace
siki -
Something came to my mind, Have you ever heard that you can not marry an ex husband unless you have been married to another man then divorced then gone back to him?
So say I was married to X and then broke up(divorced) if I wanted to go back to him I have to get married to Y then get divorced and then marry X again?? I've heard this a number of times.. I'm not sure how it is backed up but whats the view on it?
Salam
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Peace Sarah, Sikandar, all,
Bro Sikandar,
Thank you for the kind words. All praise is to The God and all thanks to Him for giving us understanding and guidance.
Sis Sarah,
2230 So if he divorces her again, then she will not be lawful for him until she has married another husband. If the other husband divorces her, then there is no sin that they come back together if they think they will uphold God's limits. These are God's limits, He clarifies them for a people that know.
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Salam.
Relationships.
We all agree that sex outside marriage is sin.
We all agree that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships might and usually do lead to sex and since it is outside marriage, we can easily say that such relationships are sin especially in USA and Europe.We must ask ourselves, is it possible to have strictly platonic relationship with the opposite sex? Is it possible for a guy in New York to have a strictly platonic relationship with his girlfriend from Harlem?
I think that a person cannot avoid a sin such as fornication today. Well, actually there is a way to avoid it. Here is how avoid TV, internet, movies, music, women and move to the rain forest.
When i was working in the construction business, i was living in the building wher eonly men lived and slept in rooms, i worked 8 hours a day with men, i ate with men and during my contract, i haven't SEEN a woman for good three months. When i came back home, i thought that EVERY woman looked good and sexually attractive. Thank GOD Almighty that i started praying thaty ear.
Peace.
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Interesting points you have Alen
We must ask ourselves, is it possible to have strictly platonic relationship with the opposite sex? Is it possible for a guy in New York to have a strictly platonic relationship with his girlfriend from Harlem?
It's possible.. you know I notice that generally non muslims can befriend people of the opposite sex with no problem anyway
I think that a person cannot avoid a sin such as fornication today. Well, actually there is a way to avoid it. Here is how avoid TV, internet, movies, music, women and move to the rain forest.
Haha now that isn't realistic now is it? It's possible to avoid fornication today if you wish not to have it. If you're strong willed you won't. I've had opportunities to commit fornication but it's totally against me, I could even create opportunities if I wanted to, I choose not to and I feel strongly for that. Tv, internet, movies and music isn't going to make me want to commit fornication.. Besides what is it you gain out of it? please? I'm sure if you so badly wanted pleasure if it was so much in your head and you couldn't get a women I'm sure people would experiment other ways and maybe even with men.
When i was working in the construction business, i was living in the building wher eonly men lived and slept in rooms, i worked 8 hours a day with men, i ate with men and during my contract, i haven't SEEN a woman for good three months. When i came back home, i thought that EVERY woman looked good and sexually attractive. Thank GOD Almighty that i started praying thaty ear.
Alhamdulillah you were praying ) though I don't think that's going to strongly impact on your views on women. Like I said if people are running for pleasure they will get it in other means you don't need a women. Anyway self control is important, if you create opportunities to make fornication easy for yourself then it would be your fault for gradually making the process easy. If being with men makes life easier maybe you should stick with men actually maybe you should get married P
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Salam.
You know, dear Sarah, i was trying to get married and i'm still trying but i guess i just have to be a little more patient.
I can control myself, don't worry about that, i can, i was just saying that today it's a little harder then in the time sof Mohammed, right?
Peace.
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Walaikum Asalam
Maybe it is a little more harder, maybe women were more passive then.. then again back then they used to bury girls they probably sold girls
It's not to hard to get married these days though it's hard to find someone you'd be content with
peace -
Walaikum Asalam
Maybe it is a little more harder, maybe women were more passive then.. then again back then they used to bury girls they probably sold girls o
It's not to hard to get married these days though it's hard to find someone you'd be content with
) peacePeace,
I agree with you Sarah, it's harder to find someone to be content with, that's for sure! But Nikah is an easy process, no difficult at all.
Majidah
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Peace Sarah,
Something came to my mind, Have you ever heard that you can not marry an ex husband unless you have been married to another man then divorced then gone back to him?
So say I was married to X and then broke up(divorced) if I wanted to go back to him I have to get married to Y then get divorced and then marry X again?? I've heard this a number of times.. I'm not sure how it is backed up but whats the view on it?
Salam
And if he hath divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she hath wedded another husband. Then if he (the other husband) divorce her it is no sin for both of them that they come together again if they consider that they are able to observe the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah. He manifesteth them for people who have knowledge.