Hi an ex-Muslim
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Peace cosmicdancer,
Welcome to the forum. Would you mind sharing your story on how you got where you are today?
Thanks )
Hi Zenje, well I wrote this recently - I hope it's not too long and boring
I was born a Muslim and started practicing at the age of twenty. For the next twenty eight years I was devout and committed to Islam. I completed a BA in Arabic and Islamic Studies at the University of *******, became President of the Islamic Society, was Amir of a Dawah group and edited its magazine The ******* wrote four books for Muslims and spent fifteen years as a teacher at a Muslim school. But events in my life had cause me to doubt. The turning point was 2001, when my father died, my marriage broke up and the attacks of September the 11th - in that order. It threw me out of my comfort zone and I started questioning things I had taken for granted. Little by little doubts began creeping in. At first I tried to suppress them and reacted to criticism of Islam with denial, anger and blame. I denied there was anything wrong, felt hyper-sensitive to any criticism and blamed the West for provoking and creating problems.
When I did eventually accept that Muslims had to take responsibility for the problems we faced, I still couldnt accept that Islam itself was to blame. It was the way Islam was being interpreted that was the problem. I started arguing for a reinterpretation and reform of traditional views, but instead of easing my conscience, that only highlighted the futility and dishonesty of such views. Finally I tried to tell myself that although my rational mind found it difficult to believe certain things in Islam, there must be explanations beyond my capacity to understand and that God knows best. The safest and wisest option was to Hold fast to the rope of Allah. I reckoned I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by remaining a believer and so I went through the motions of being a good Muslim, in the hope that my faith would return, but it only made me depressed and lose all motivation one can pretend for only so long. The problem is that one cannot choose to believe. Either one does or not and if there is a God, the last thing he would have wanted me to do was to pretend to believe in something that I didnt.
Shortly before my 48 birthday I knew I no longer believed in Islam anymore. Accepting that I was no longer a Muslim was an extremely difficult thing to do. No one can possibly know what it is like unless they have been through it. The feeling of fear and isolation is enormous and the sense of loss and freefall, with nothing to grab onto, is terrifying. I also I feared I would be associated with bigots and xenophobes who hate Islam and Muslims. The fact that I no longer believed in Islam didnt mean I had suddenly turned into a hater of Islam or Muslims. I knew that Islam brought a great deal of guidance, comfort and worthy values to the lives of millions of people. I knew Muslims were good, decent, and compassionate people. How could I possibly hate Muslims when family and even my own children were Muslims? When I speak to my older children about what I think, I tell them they must find out for themselves what they believe and if they feel happy being Muslims then that is what they should be. I certainly do not feel the need to pass on my own beliefs concerning God and religion to them, something I felt it was my duty to do when I was a Muslim.
I do not believe in forcing my beliefs on anyone, but I do believe one should have the courage to honestly examine the beliefs that are central to ones life and guide ones actions. If one is truly satisfied with them, then they should be fully embraced with ones heart and mind, but if they do not stand up to close scrutiny, then they should be discarded. Life is too short to allow it to be dictated by beliefs one does not truly believe.
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I do not believe in forcing my beliefs on anyone, but I do believe one should have the courage to honestly examine the beliefs that are central to one?s life and guide one?s actions. If one is truly satisfied with them, then they should be fully embraced with one?s heart and mind, but if they do not stand up to close scrutiny, then they should be discarded. Life is too short to allow it to be dictated by beliefs one does not truly believe.
Agreed...So do you believe in God, and/or what DO you believe?
Thanks for sharing your story
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Hi Zenje, well I wrote this recently - I hope it's not too long and boring
I was born a Muslim and started practicing at the age of twenty. For the next twenty eight years I was devout and committed to Islam. I completed a BA in Arabic and Islamic Studies at the University of *******, became President of the Islamic Society, was Amir of a Da?wah group and edited its magazine ? ?The *******? ? wrote four books for Muslims and spent fifteen years as a teacher at a Muslim school.
Dear
Welcome.
That is a great story.Would you please give the names of books for the muslims???.I am very eager to study them.'
I will grateful. -
Thanks for sharing your story, cosmicdancer, and peace be with you. )
I would have liked to learn what was the exact cause of the 'turning point'. You mention your fathers death, etc... but I'm not sure what that had to do with 'Islam' as such. I don't mean to belittle those events in any shape or form, I just don't understand, I guess. Anyway, there is no need to go further in that area.
Again, welcome and I do hope you find the site informative, it would be interesting to see your views on any of the discussionswe have, and feel free to start your own.
peace
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Dear
Welcome.
That is a great story.Would you please give the names of books for the muslims???.I am very eager to study them.'
I will grateful.No, I'm afraid that would give my identity away.
)
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I would have liked to learn what was the exact cause of the 'turning point'. You mention your fathers death, etc... but I'm not sure what that had to do with 'Islam' as such. I don't mean to belittle those events in any shape or form, I just don't understand, I guess.
One is less likey to question things when one is comfortable and happy within the security of of one's comfort zone. Once those things were taken away I began to question everything much more than I previously did. When September the 11th happened, I found myself questioning Islam more and more. I began to exammine my own beliefs much harder than I had ever done before. I saw things differently for the first time.
I tend to look back to that year as a turning point as it was then that I started having serious doubts.
Before that I was happy to coast along within the security of my family, job and community without questioning my beliefs.
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Peace Cosmicdancer, welcome to the forum )
This sounds horrible but, are you glad about any of those incidences occuring which made you question your beliefs? What I mean is, you were previously 'coasting along' but when those unfortunate things happened it gave you a reason to look deeper. Was it worth it? Would you rather go back? Apologies if I'm prodding where I shouldn't be. Feel free to ignore my questions if they're uncomfortable.
I hope you enjoy your stay here peace
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Dear
Hiding yourself creates a lot of doubts.Why so ??Why so?
So somone doesn't try to kill me.
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Peace Cosmicdancer, welcome to the forum )
This sounds horrible but, are you glad about any of those incidences occuring which made you question your beliefs? What I mean is, you were previously 'coasting along' but when those unfortunate things happened it gave you a reason to look deeper. Was it worth it? Would you rather go back? Apologies if I'm prodding where I shouldn't be. Feel free to ignore my questions if they're uncomfortable.
I hope you enjoy your stay here peace
I'm not glad they happened - but I am glad I have been able to gain a new perspective on my beliefs as a result.
I couldn't go back to the way I was. For me the genie is out of the bottle.
I no longer see the Qur'an as the word of God - but the word of man.
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Peace cosmicdancer,
Are you now comfortable with your beliefs, and in being an "ex-Muslim"?
If so, why are you on this forum? (not meant to be attacking, it is a serious question.)
peace
I am going through a difficult time and feel quite isolated and unsure of where to go next.
I am here because someone invited me to read this forum.
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Peace and welcome, cosmicdancer,
Thank you for sharing your story and fielding questions. If you don't mind one more...
By leaving the religion called "islam", you've essentially left the structure and security of a large group and pretty much isolated yourself. I imagine this has given you tremendous insight into previous pitfalls and thus a keen recognition of future ones. That being said, have you felt an alignment with any existing beliefs/systems/religions, or are you just sort of floating around?Peace,
Tay -
One is less likey to question things when one is comfortable and happy within the security of of one's comfort zone. Once those things were taken away I began to question everything much more than I previously did. When September the 11th happened, I found myself questioning Islam more and more. I began to exammine my own beliefs much harder than I had ever done before. I saw things differently for the first time.
I tend to look back to that year as a turning point as it was then that I started having serious doubts.
Before that I was happy to coast along within the security of my family, job and community without questioning my beliefs.
For some these (type of) incidences would make them angry, or cause them to pull away from their 'faith', while for others it would further strengthen their resolve. I'm guessing for you it was the culmination of those events, perhaps all happening at about the same time... maybe that's what 'tipped you over'? I have spoken to a number of people who tend to look back at 9/11 as their 'turning points'. Turning, in the sense, looking deeper into their religion. Studying more, changing their belief system, etc.
Anyways, I'll step aside here now, but I'd like to invite you to look into threads with 9/11 here.
Peace be with you. )
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I no longer see the Qur'an as the word of God - but the word of man.
Cosmicdancer,
Would you please share
- Why you initially believed that Quran in the word of God.
- Why eventually you changed your position to "Quran is authored by man".
I am not a muslim; but a monotheist. I believe in a God. I dont have any position on Quran however I am analyzing this book so that I could reach a conclusion.
I am interested in listening to your views.
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Hi Tay
floating around?
Floating around is the right word. Questions about where does one get standards of morality, what is right and wrong have been troubling me.
But I have come to the conclusion that human conscience knows these things instinctively - without the need for religion.
Sure we may differ about what is right and wrong.
But so do those who follow religion - even those who follow the 'same' religion differ - sometimes quite wildly.
I'm not sure there are any absolute standards of right and wrong - but if they are I am certainly no worse of struggling to find these without religion.
As for other religions - I am not interested in them at all. The word 'frying pan' and 'fire' come to mind