How much can be sacrificed for a mother ?
-
Some years ago I listened to my friend with horror .Her intelligent ,soft speaking husband had left for a holiday for an Arab country - to his homeland . He never returned .In a letter later he explained the issue his mum wanted to die when hearing the news about the European wife and kids .So he obeyed his mum -as the hadith orders so - and married an Arab woman .HE became a broken ,unhappy man .HE sacrificed himself + his wife +his 2 kids for his mum will .
How can somebody believe that such things please God ? -
I am writing about this topic because my intelligent ,child lover ,understanding husband becomes a bum whenever his much beloved mum comes to visit us .
His mum is illiterate ,but she wants to control our life .She gets furious when my husband is playing with the kids ,when he is showing love towards them SHE wants him to believe that being good=being weak .
Our relationship is in ruins for all these things .Because of course he should not show love towards me either .He should not be addicted to me in bed either so she moved into our bedroom to prevent his son from exhaustion . Are you laughing ? WEll it is really like a joke ,but unfortunatley it is the daily truth for me .At least for a month a year when she is here .
BUt the worst thing I heard was last time she told;" in our culture the father has the right to beat the kids ,even if he kills them he will not go to prison "
Can it really be ?
We are living in an emirat of the arab/persian gulf . -
I am writing about this topic because my intelligent ,child lover ,understanding husband becomes a bum whenever his much beloved mum comes to visit us .
His mum is illiterate ,but she wants to control our life .She gets furious when my husband is playing with the kids ,when he is showing love towards them SHE wants him to believe that being good=being weak .
Our relationship is in ruins for all these things .Because of course he should not show love towards me either .He should not be addicted to me in bed either so she moved into our bedroom to prevent his son from exhaustion . Are you laughing ? WEll it is really like a joke ,but unfortunatley it is the daily truth for me .At least for a month a year when she is here .
BUt the worst thing I heard was last time she told;" in our culture the father has the right to beat the kids ,even if he kills them he will not go to prison "
Can it really be ?
We are living in an emirat of the arab/persian gulf .yes this is true it is happening in third world countries specially in sub continent from centuries.
not surprised brickwall
-
Reading this story I can see, what story of my friend is not unique.She has son with a tunisian men,hes mother dont like him to get married with her.She wants him to get married with arabic woman.Stange woman(womans,because they can be lots)-whats all what I can say.
-
What happened to that part in the Qu'ran about being able to choose your spouse?
I do know the Qu'ran says only to defy your parents to protect your religion. If your parents act against your faith, you must, for the sake of your own soul, defend yourself from them. Preventing a Husband and Wife from doing the things they are required to do in their marriage would certainly be among those things. I mean, after all, isn't getting married half of your religion?
-
Peace
What happened to that part in the Qu'ran about being able to choose your spouse?
I do know the Qu'ran says only to defy your parents to protect your religion. If your parents act against your faith, you must, for the sake of your own soul, defend yourself from them. Preventing a Husband and Wife from doing the things they are required to do in their marriage would certainly be among those things. I mean, after all, isn't getting married half of your religion?
Thats Hadith. Also, cleanliness is half your deen as well. For me, my deen is 100% God. Its not for my mother, my wife, its for God. Doesnt mean that you shouldnt treat your wife with disrespect, actually the opposite.
Quran tells us that even if our parents are against our faith, we should still honor our parents and treat them kindly. Our parents make themselves our enemies.
Peace
-
How much can be sacrificed for a mother? Anything short of obstruction of Islamic teachings. So you can go as far as sacrificing the happiness of your wife and children to please your mother, in fact this is encouraged in Islam.
-
Do you say or does the Quran say? Which verse specifically?
-
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth (4615)
There is no like verse that enjoins the same kind of kindness and respect for one's wife. In fact the Holy Quran allows a man to beat his wife when necessary, but a Muslim dare not lift a finger against his mother.
-
Peace
I will always respect my mother more than my wife, and I hope she respects her mother more than me. Of course, God comes before either.
- God
- Mother
- Wife
Even the Hadith tells the person that the mother receives 75% of the respect, father only gets 25.
Peace
-
Peace
I will always respect my mother more than my wife, and I hope she respects her mother more than me. Of course, God comes before either.
- God
- Mother
- Wife
Even the Hadith tells the person that the mother receives 75% of the respect, father only gets 25.
Peace
It is not a linear relation or percentages whose sum is 100%. Your respect or love for your mother is different from that for your wife or your children. No one has the right to sacrifice anybody for anyone else, even for the mother. You have to be fair with the truth. This is one of the components of the Straight Path.
-
Samia above bravo
Keeley
I mean, after all, isn't getting married half of your religion?
???Sometimes i really wonder,
how can one make a listing about respect concerning persons ? Amuslim put god first, ok, but respect is du to persons that deserve it. This includes mothers / fathers, wifes/husbands ; anybodies !See verse cited by samia above
peace lk
-
Do we actually need a book to tell us this? (us, as in every sane & thinking person on Earth)
peace
-
Peace
It is not a linear relation or percentages whose sum is 100%. Your respect or love for your mother is different from that for your wife or your children. No one has the right to sacrifice anybody for anyone else, even for the mother. You have to be fair with the truth. This is one of the components of the Straight Path.
Samia above bravo
Sometimes i really wonder,
how can one make a listing about respect concerning persons ? Amuslim put god first, ok, but respect is du to persons that deserve it. This includes mothers / fathers, wifes/husbands ; anybodies !See verse cited by samia above
peace lk
I meant in my own situation. Obviously, if the mother doesnt love their child and throws them off somewhere, then they are not before your spouse. I want my wife to love her mom more than me if the mom is deserving. But definitely she HAS to love God more than anything/anyone else.
Peace
-
It is not a linear relation or percentages whose sum is 100%. Your respect or love for your mother is different from that for your wife or your children. No one has the right to sacrifice anybody for anyone else, even for the mother. You have to be fair with the truth. This is one of the components of the Straight Path.
yeah voodoo hail
peace ;D
-
Peace,
I think we shall not sacrifice for anyone because life isn't about sacrifices instead we shall try to solve problems that arise in a family with common sense.
Love can have many sides and the way you love your mother isn't the same as you love your spouse that's for sure.
But as Quran points out that the husband shall be a garment for his wife and the wife shall be a garment for her husband it leads me to think that such an explanation from God makes it clears that a married couple are to care for eachother in a very intimidate way and that is not possible with your mother. The love for your mother is a warm and humble kind of love and cannot be taken for granted because it depends on your relationship with your mother.
That story you told about your mother in law and that she move into you and your husband's bedroom is a crime and she should feel ashamed of herself to act like that. I wonder really if she want that to happen to herself when she was young!?
Don't be silent about this, discuss it with your husband and he can deal with his mother about this. Does he really want to ruin your marriage?
Take care sister,
Maria
-
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth (4615)
There is no like verse that enjoins the same kind of kindness and respect for one's wife. In fact the Holy Quran allows a man to beat his wife when necessary, but a Muslim dare not lift a finger against his mother.
But his father can beat the hell out of her in front of him and he dare not lift a finger to protect her/stop his father. Right? In other words he may not beat her but can be accomplice to her being beaten. Great!!