Support the mistress as well as the wife
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Peace farida
and also G OmarUnlike you I believe that Allah swt has not given us the right to pass judgement on any one.
sure only the God finally judges, but by judging their action you judge the people. even knowing that people can change. don't play ostrich, we all judge and evaluate each other all the time and are judged at the same time. see you just judged me above, thinking that i believe that i have the right to pass judgment...
i guess my reaction was du to the personal revivication of past pains...and even if i "yucked" on my ex-hubby enough to leave him, i'm still his friend and co-parent. i can be much cooler and un-judging about things i have not lived yet... just to put things into perspective. i better leave this thread alone, may be am too much involved and lose my objectivity
lk
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Peace farida
and also G Omarsure only the God finally judges, but by judging their action you judge the people. even knowing that people can change. don't play ostrich, we all judge and evaluate each other all the time and are judged at the same time. see you just judged me above, thinking that i believe that i have the right to pass judgment...
i guess my reaction was du to the personal revivication of past pains...and even if i "yucked" on my ex-hubby enough to leave him, i'm still his friend and co-parent. i can be much cooler and un-judging about things i have not lived yet... just to put things into perspective. i better leave this thread alone, may be am too much involved and lose my objectivity
lk
Salaam sister Elke,
Thank you for correcting me; even though I make every effort not to condemn anyone as good or bad I may have fallen into the trap of passing judgement.
Elke I understand your pain even though I can not feel it the same as you. We all have our individual, painful experiences, which often leave such a bad taste in ones mouth that one becomes biased in ones judgment. We are asked only to stand as witness in justice that?s all, so if any one does wrong we are to point it out, even if it is against our own self (nafs).
Please continue to express yourself, even if not in this thread but on the whole. My policy is not to take any thread as aimed at me; otherwise I would be limiting it. People have called me extremist etc but I did not get offended as no one out there on the forum knows me well enough to conclude that. These threads are mainly there to address common issues.
Many on this forum like to ?force? their opinion on others and take it as a matter of pride, not to admit being wrong. In that process they sometimes try to ?mould oil in their palms? (an old saying). They are the ones, who make fools of themselves.
Lots of love your children and best of regards
farida -
Salam all,
Br. Sharp001,
I think I have answered that question in one of my posts above. The extract is
"...love, devotion, dediction, affection, friendship and mercy between them (These attributes also confirmed by the Book, verse 3021).... (feeling of) comfort, protection, fulfilment of the sexual needs ... extension of lineage."Please excuse me that I missed it. My apologies...
peace be on you. peaceSis Farida,
As I see it there is a difference between needs and wants; a good marriage would satisfy most needs, whereas a bad marriage will not satisfy even the basic needs but sometimes the basic needs are satisfied but it?s the demands (want) which may make it a failure.
A good husband knows what to do and so does a good wife and since you are happily married I?m sure you don?t expect me to tell you what is needed in a satisfactory relationship.
However do not expect all your needs to be fulfilled in a marriage; there will always be something missing like one spouse snoring away when the other is trying to sleep; brickwall my poor husband (sleep IS a basic need)It?s all about perception and reality, make the most of each other?s company and give as much as you can, As ?in giving you receive?. peace
Well said! I agree with you on all points.. except maybe , " since you are happily married I?m sure you don?t expect me to tell you what is needed in a satisfactory relationship." Yes, I am happily married, thanks be to Allah, yet it's always good to hear and understand various view points.
peace be on you. peace
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Salam all,
Sis Farida,
Well said! I agree with you on all points.. except maybe , " since you are happily married I?m sure you don?t expect me to tell you what is needed in a satisfactory relationship." Yes, I am happily married, thanks be to Allah, yet it's always good to hear and understand various view points.peace be on you. peace
Salaam
Yes I could see that you are a happily married man as you know the secret which is remembering when your wedding anniversary is due. ;D
Do you really expect to get idealistic response from me -X seeing that I am a realist?
I do not believe in listing what is needed for a satisfactory relationship be it between husband and wife or parents and children I think basis of any good relationship is to put yourself in other persons situation and than think what is needed. peaceBest regards
farida -
Salam Farida,
Salaam
Yes I could see that you are a happily married man as you know the secret which is remembering when your wedding anniversary is due. ;D
Do you really expect to get idealistic response from me -X seeing that I am a realist?
I do not believe in listing what is needed for a satisfactory relationship be it between husband and wife or parents and children I think basis of any good relationship is to put yourself in other persons situation and than think what is needed. peaceBest regards
faridayeah, we both made sure we picked a day that was the easiest to remember...Thank God too cause I tend to forget my own birthday..
as it seems to becoming a norm so far with you, I can't disagree with you voodoo ... you're right about empathy being needed... i think you're absolutely right that in a marriage it's best to be realistic than idealistic! I'd also add at the same time not forgetting that we can make our idealistic notions real... at least with the right person... also, that compromise serves much better than thick headedness in a marriage!
may Allah protect you and yours and bring love into your family always...
peace peace
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Is Mistress allowed in Islam?
gazzali
yeah
Get her in a Bond, Pay UJOOR E HINNA, before you derive sexual pleasure, and keep in mind that you both are doing it to maintain Chastity, Not for merely legalising uncontrolled sexual desires (I mean no one night stands, but have a commitment for a reasonable period , like a mistress, and take care of her)
If you don't want to pay ujoors, then get Ma Malakat Emnakums, they are yours for free , for life . There is no restriction on the number, depends how many you can feed , and cloth. You also have the option of upgrading one or more of this specie as your Nikahed spouse (keeping in mind that your kitty does not exceed 4 in total, at a time)
peace
siki
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yeah
Get her in a Bond, Pay UJOOR E HINNA, before you derive sexual pleasure, and keep in mind that you both are doing it to maintain Chastity, Not for merely legalising uncontrolled sexual desires (I mean no one night stands, but have a commitment for a reasonable period , like a mistress, and take care of her)
If you don't want to pay ujoors, then get Ma Malakat Emnakums, they are yours for free , for life . There is no restriction on the number, depends how many you can feed , and cloth. You also have the option of upgrading one or more of this specie as your Nikahed spouse (keeping in mind that your kitty does not exceed 4 in total, at a time)
peace
siki