Salaam Azygous,

Can you, if possible, give us an example of what your father has asked of you?

Taj

he has a problem with my religiousness.

i live on my own, i'm financially independent from my parents. my parents are divorced.

I am almost 20 years old. I am financially independent from my parents. However, my father still expects me to obey him completely. I don't believe this is right. Respect does not equate to obedience. I will always listen to any advice or requests he has, but he cannot expect obedience from me. Am I wrong?

Now, I was raised Muslim but I no longer call myself Muslim.

I am a 19 year old Arab-American college student, I've moved out of my home (what's left of it after my parent's divorced a year ago).

My father never was personally religious, but he always sent me to a sunday Islamic school until i was a high school sophemore, and the only reason I stopped going then was because my dad left our family for 2 years.

My father now lives in the middle east, and whenever he calls he asks if I go to the masjid and if I have joined the Muslim Student Association on campus.

It's very annoying, because I refuse to lie to him, so I tell him no, i have not gone. He then gets depressed and angry and says good bye.

I've never told my dad what to do, I let him live his life how he chooses. He cheated on my mother since before I was born, he drinks every weekend, he left his family for 2 years...I never told him he was a bad person. I do not drink, I do not believe in lying and breaking the heart of someone I love. I take my responsibilities seriously. However, I do not want to go to the mosque. I do not want to be a muslim. Why can't he accept that?

I mean, I will listen to him if he wants to advise me to go to the mosque. I respect him, and I will listen to what he has to say, but if I disagree with him I won't obey him. I have the right to make my own choices. I am my own person. I do what i feel is morally right as much as I can.

Isn't it true in Islam that your relationship with Allah is private and no one has any right to interfere?

Well, my dad left for a year and a half and came back a month ago. In his absence my mother bought a dog for my brothers since she had to work most of the time and they were alone. Now my dad comes back and he's been saying that the dog is dirty and now the house is dirty...like we can't pray in it and stuff.

Well let's see...I've never seen my dad pray in his house my entire life unless a guest wanted to pray. My dad goes out to drink at bars every Friday and Saturday night. Also, I am pretty sure he has cheated on my mother more than a few times.

Now he is complaining that the house is "dirty" because of the dog. He says dogs are nice creatures but Islam says they are not clean.

I have just been ignoring him when he starts complaining about the dog because I don't want to get into an argument with him. My parent's are divorcing and he's letting my brothers stay with my mother but if I start arguing with him and he percieves that I am not a "muslim" or i am "anti-islam" he might change his mind and try to take my brothers with him back to the middle-east.

(Now, I have no problem with the middle-east but I think at this point in life for my brothers it's better if they just continue their education here where their friends are and stuff. They are 8 and 11.)