I feel better after reading your comments but I don't want to mistake this for not following the sunnah or by easing the thought of what I've done even if I haven't gone in deep enough. My every intention is to stay away from zina now that I know what it is, I am really grateful that I didn't go far in it that I would ruin my existence by doing an unlawful act. I've changed my ways that I would not give a 2nd glance to a woman on the street. I'm staying away from tv (unless the program is acceptable and I'm spending some family time) and I'm giving up music and caffeine since these elements sway my emotions; I'm also strictly using the internet to learn Arabic and Islam. Ok but zina IMO is Adultery not fornication (because I don't think a just God would punish an adulterer (someone who has had sexual relations with someone other than the one they have made a life long commitment to) the same as a fornicator, who hasn't betrayed anyone) so technically IMO you haven't come near zina but people on these forums have different understandins of zina and sex in general. Given what appears to be an addiction, this sort of hardline and committed approach is IMO a good move. But with the music....I don't know, I think huruf is right, this is too much hardline. I'm a musician and I use music for exercise, motivation (for character), reverence and so on. It fires up the spirit which is supposed to help fight addiction. It's will power that is meant to get you away from your addiction and more towards what your reason (aql) is saying. IMO music is a good source. But what is good for one may not be good for another. I'd keep in mind that the God is Perfect, Beneficent (forgiving, understanding, generous, sustainer, provider). With such a God, and your sincere approach to repentance and reform, I think your fear is a bit excessive. It's within your potential to change. You can do it!! Godwilling/allowing you'l do it!