Hi TechyQuranist,

When you discover something against the norm or orthodoxy it can feel very lonely.

Scholars and learned have a place in society but we have the duty to study, question, think and reflect. Ultimately, we are all fallible and only God is perfect, our perceptions and understandings are limited to our world knowledge, environment, experiences and even ego/desires.

Sometimes things don’t make sense which may be good for us and sometimes they are not. Sometimes we like a thing which may be bad for us and vice versa.. Sometimes I wonder is there more to it than I know? Or why do I feel so strongly against xyz. I feel I’ve become a little less judgy and more curious.

To question a person’s core value is triggering and out of fear/love/shame it’s easy to get the whole you’re a kafir reaction. Plus, people are so dependent on society and being accepted. To some degree many of us have herd mentality. No one wants to be ostracised.

There are variations of interpretation even within traditional circles. Out with the traditional perspective it opens a whole can of worms you could say, as interpretation comes down to the reader.

Being a Quranist or even being a traditionalist can be extreme, it’s all subject to how one practises and interprets. I think for most people, regardless of religion is that we inherit practises and identity. Not everyone is an open thinker or researcher, and it’s time consuming and it can be difficult. Inheriting practises and knowledge is a lot easier, your world view of how far away many Muslims have become could vary so differently from another perspective. How many are truth seekers, how many are blind faith followers?? God knows but to a degree ignorance can be bliss.

Ultimately, I believe we must be honest and true to ourselves.

Welcome to the forum )

Salam All,

I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking, what misconception are you correcting?

Anyway I have some thoughts.

Whilst today, many people may use Ramadan as a sort of festival as you say fusion, their actions are not harmful furthermore they’re practises also linked with tradition. So, I’m not sure what your questioning… their sincerity in their personal benefit of fasting? How do you conclude it’s not directly tied to the personal experience of fasting?

My understanding of the message of the Quran is to benefit ourselves and the community we are in. it’s not a one person conquering their own self but rather being a better person to better the society we are in.

The question of ritual I’m not sure what people mean by rituals. Life is full of rituals… Practising Islam in my opinion is submitting to God’s will, to God’s law and being mindful which isn’t always easy. One can perform rituals unmindfully and mindfully. One can't assume that all God believers will always practise self-control, gratitude and closeness to God. I believe from human experience it is easy to get distracted, it is easy to be ungrateful, it is easy to be lazy. I mean you all might be a super disciplined elite humans but certainly I know I am flawed.

Just a ritual. Brushing one’s teeth can be a ritual. Is it crucial… It can be done both mindfully and unmindfully. One who is more meticulous may have better teeth and oral hygiene than one who is unmindful. Rituals can be beneficial even if one is not intentional.

I don’t believe fasting is “just a ritual” or an unmindful act. I believe it is deeper. If you have fasted you will have an idea of how it makes you feel and how dependent and weak humans are. What one gets out of it, is dependent on them.

Welcome to the forum

Peace.

Discrimination exists and people have many biases. You can't change how people think. Only you can work on YOU. Ultimately you should do your job and regardless of how you look if you do good it will be beneficial and people will see that (and sometimes they won't!).

We live in a world with so many issues, one isn't to compete with "shallowness" inevitably your actions are what matters. Be sensible. There will always be someone better, smarter, more attractive etc and there will always be the opposite.

I think I understand the gist of what you are saying but I don't agree with your interpretation.

You can divorce in your fifties.

Read 654 it can be directed to many age groups.

People can drastically change and grow apart. It’s up to 2 individuals to work things out and cooperate and commit to the relationship and people’s growth/divergence.

Every culture has practises and traditions. People are free to do as they wish so long as they don’t violate the commands. When you observe injustices, you learn to be just for yourself, and you learn what you value and what you should or feel you should uphold. We can compare the practises of cultures all day long, ultimately adults need to make sound choices of what they decide to uphold with or without cultural pressures and the consequences of such. Not always easy.

Doing good even if you are barred from the pleasures/joys does not make the good deed nullified. That’s just the ego talking. We’re human so totally natural we want to give and enjoy but custody isn’t clear cut, it seems like an extrapolation.

Salam,

Some thoughts.

1. There is no verse stating that you cannot, Some things are left open, do you not ponder about this? 412 you can inherit what your wife leaves after passing, if she doesn't have children or a will. Personally wouldn't want a man depending on me financially others may not mind.

2. Baby belongs to no-one but is both parent's responsibility to look after, children are a trial 6315. Read surah luqman, read 1731, wills should be written and include family.

Breastfeeding is commendable and basically a quranic right of every infant. Quran 2233 calls on fathers to sponsor the mother in the first 2 years by providing their needs and clothing within their means, although it allows for earlier weaning of the child by mutual consent of both mother and father.  The same verse allows breastfeeding to be substituted by wet nursing and that the father should be generous towards to wet nurse.

Men can't breastfeed so women in this regard are doing men a favour by providing for their babies without their (men) financial powers.

3. It's the husband's role to provide yes. Doesn't mean he'd do a good job and doesn't mean the wife can supplement.

4. Mahr differs from culture to culture, person to person. It is purely a gift, can you find any reason? it shows commitment.

You could argue men have a bigger financial responsibility.

Peace and blessings of God be upon you too,

Welcome to the forum

Depending on which region in the world you live, the hours of fast can vary drastically and the way which “to night” is interpreted can vary.

Of course, everyone wants to get it right so naturally people can be fastidious. Ultimately, I think intention plays an important part.

I remember spending time in the northern hemisphere and I did a fast during summer. If I was to break my fast in pitch black darkness, every fast would have been broken after 11pm with a few hours before the next fast to begin. Living with little responsibilities was doable, not exactly enjoyable but could do... Factor in someone who has a family, or a high demanding job or more responsibilities, things just get more complicated.

I believe God to be compassionate.

Another thing to consider is in verse 2187 along the lines of, eat and drink until you see the white line against the blackness of night. So you can see the first light of dawn and that’s the start of the fast. If the opposite is applied at night, the naked eye can still see some light when the sun has set.. in twilight, even in dusk (depending again where in the world you are), it’s still night.

Wailaikum Asalam,

I don't see your argument as strong. When you pray you're praying to God so you are talking to God.

When you want to supplicate or ask God for something, sure you can use duas that are in the Quran that others have used however your situation is unique to you. So you may say something "different" to the given Quranic examples... Doesn't make it wrong.

Do what you're comfortable with however saying "auzubillahi minashaitan nirajeem" or "astaghfirullah" is not wrong or bad nor directed explicitly as such in the Quran (AFAIK). The meaning of the words are good, why would you encourage others not to say it? Seems odd.

Being unmindful of our words and actions is more worrisome.

So maybe ask yourself why is his addiction/passion a problem?

Open communication is important but def difficult when one wants to criticise someone's actions. So consider how is his time impacting you and what do you need from him to acheive a healthy, happy relationship. Communicating your needs, your expectations and feelings are important.

So maybe approach things differently.. e.g. I wish you had more time to do xyz it would make me feel so much better if xyz was done because it would make me feel.... (less pressure, supported, loved, appreciated, whatever).

Good luck

Jkhan, sorry for your loss, that must have been difficult for you.

To everyone, one thing we seem to forget is that we are shaped by our upbringing, culture, society as well as our belief/knowledge and we are evolving based on that + personality and more…. To think that we are immune from those influences or even from wrong is so exaggerated and the idea that Quran Only are the only true believers is also idealised. You bet in an idealistic world you’d wanna partner up with someone who has similar background, similar belief/religious practise because it makes for an easier or more coherent life. That being said there is no given that their belief and practise will stay the same. At least right now this is a forum with people who have similar perspectives and you can see some would and wouldn’t be compatible with your views.

So many people believe in God and do good and genuinely have faith in God. Yes many people have messed up views and many have rigid views who are unopen to discussion and perspective even though they have the “true believer” stamp all over them. It’s too simplistic to fear settling, no-one is perfect in every way, everyone compromises on some things.

This is why I whole heartedly believe you must be honest about yourself, your views, your perspective and how you envision a marriage/future and if you’re not sure than I guess it’s worth considering. It doesn’t mean every single person who crosses your life needs to know but certainly if there is a future perspective with someone than surely. Yes you will get people who think you’re an insane kaffir/a, and yes you will get people who will not care and everything inbetween, but if you can’t be yourself well what’s the point in seeking a partner? You would need to work on being secure and understanding yourself and your attachment style before even going there.

Just my thoughts

Peace.

Peace Sarah,

Obviously don't marry someone like KDC501, too much clash but hey (assuming here) you're both Quran alone Muslims.

Not everything is in a label.

You might find people with similar goals, values or beliefs to your own who dont necessarily adhere to the same label. The best thing to do is be yourself, be honest of who you are, your beliefs/views and what you would expect in the relationship. Keep in mind people grow and change, we're not stagnant our life experiences and knowledge continue to shape us.

To the original question, I used to worry because I had an idealistic view of Quranic Muslims and their rarity but the reality isn't always what we envision. Disregarding creed, how many people are exactly the same in their beliefs and religious practise? I don't think many are, people are at different spiritual/religious stages of their lives. it just depends how comfortable you are with their stance/stage and if it is compatible with you and the direction you're going.

Hi Fusion,

You might like the works of Fazlur Rahman, he believes in the “living traditions” basically acts that have been passed on through generations that remain mostly or probably intact to how early muslims practised.

You will not find in the Quran step by step procedure of how to perform Salat. And people on this forum approach salat differently. So you will get varied responses probably not the answer you were looking for.

In terms of how the general muslim population prays, the one leading the prayer recites quran aloud, everything else is silent. Isn’t that interesting? Moreover, people do nawafal (supplementary) prayers which isn’t congregational even though they are in congregation.

For uniformity the one leading the prayer can state how they would pray. Prayer is for God’s remembrance 2014. 629 doesn’t explain how a congregation prayer is to be made.

Salam,

Yes I could understand that perspective. However, as far as I am aware the Shia (Twelverer) perspective is that Ali's succession was a decree from God, which is why it is so significant. If something is a decree from God you would assume there would be more dispute and uproar.

I'm sure the argument of what could've or should've been could go on forever and no doubt many injustices have happened.

I devoutly wore a headscarf for many, many, years, I no longer adhere to it as a strict dress code.

Everyone will have their own convictions as to why (for or against).

Some people find discomfort, some people find comfort. In my experience it was my norm, people are adaptable. What may seem uncomfortable and unusual will soon be normal/tolerable.

Everyone has their own perceptions/view of “you” and we can’t control that. Wearing a headscarf has the benefit of being identified as Muslim but I guess it may be a detriment in some cases. I feel without a headscarf you blend in more however maybe in a dominant headscarf wearing company/society that may not be the case.

Everyone’s experiences will be different depending on where they live and their company.

I feel the Imamate messes with the Shia credibility although Zaildis seem to make more sense with it.

In regards to rightful leadership, I think there is abit of ambiguity of who was truly rightful. It's been a long while since I read about it. However I do ponder, if the succession of the Prophet was clear in Ghadir Khum, there doesn't seem to be much historical contention when Abu Bakr took leadership.

You knew this before you married her.

Maybe ask yourself, why does it bother you?

And what is a muslim home? and how can you contribute to making that idea happen.

There's a lot of ambiguity with salat.

I agree with you in that the Quran seems to emphasis and name 2 salats.

I don't know if I agree with it being the minimum because there seems to be a call to do more or to perform salat if called upon it in preference over transactions,sports or distractions see 6210-11

But if a person KNOWINGLY knows that hadith are corrupt and NOT a law of God, how is that righteous? Or if they just follow what their parents told them and don't even care to find out the truth...it's not me who made the rule about not following hadith, it's God.

Do you mean if a person knows that a hadith is corrupt and continues to follow it? It may not be righteous it may be comfort or what they know. It may be so many things. Not everyone is trying to figure things out. Depends what’s important to them. Besides it might work in their favour so why investigate. Moreover we all have our bias. Everyone’s spiritual paths are different..don’t forget to take into consideration all the brainwashing given to muslims being incompetent to study on their own.

Hadith can be spread beyond the traditional muslim hadiths you know.. people follow things not from God, prophets or holy men. Some traditional hadith have morals and cultural links. The problem I find is people equate it to God’s law and want to subjugate the whole society to it. Besides that it’s an interesting historical tool.

Also, the reason i'm asking about sunni Muslims is because I actually don't want sincere people who happened to be sunnis to go to hell. I was just unsure of the rulings. Just like I don't know if some atheists could go to heaven. They are difficult questions and that's why I'm asking them.

I’m not sure of the ruling, it depends who you ask and their interpretation. A label isn’t everything. Our hearts and our actions speak louder and only God knows our souls and the full extent of our sincerity and beliefs.

But in God's eye non is sincere if they don't follow what God orders...

and what 'God orders' differs to what people believe.. and generally people believe what they believe because they sincerely believe it to be true.

So a sincere sunni muslim is subjective to who is judging.

Sarah - change the question around and self reflect; do you think you will go to paradise... why or why not?